How To Increase Your Self Esteem and Reinvent Your Lost Optimism


Before you read this article, think in your mind what made you click this link. It could be you were searching for some helpful tips on how to increase your self esteem or it could be you found the title of this post a bit enticing and you got tempted to click.

It could be anything, but some how you've landed at this page and that's what matters the most - Right?

If you're really serious about building and raising your self esteem to live a happy and successful life, this is going to be a very interesting article for you.

Over the years I've learnt one very important thing when it comes to raising your self esteem and confidence.

Nothing is this world can be more significant than how you think and feel about yourself.

If you feel good from inside, you'll be able to absorb things in a much better way because your feeling is directly connected with your self esteem and if you've better self esteem, you have the ability to take control of your life.

To be honest life can be really overwhelming and many times you will feel like you're hammering against a steel mountain. It maybe due to work related pressure, financial crisis or relationship issues. The point is there's no end to life's problems - Correct me If I am wrong?

Also these issues just can't be ignored we have to live with them, because these are directly connected with us in some or the other ways and while dealing with this life issues, if you're someone with low self esteem it hampers you severely. 

"You might have heard this phrase somewhere - "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" -- by Maria Robinson

You can always start again, but if you're low on self esteem due to bad or unfortunate past incidents it becomes extremely difficult to start your life journey again.

You maybe someone who takes pride in his or her work, but somewhere you feel even after working so hard, life appears still and you just can't see any progress and this things are letting you down, eventually affecting your self esteem and confidence too.

The above factors start to kill your self esteem and over time you stop loving yourself.

It's because the level of your self esteem depends on how much value you give yourself, how much you love, appreciate and respect yourself and when your self esteem decreases you stop loving yourself.

But do not worry, after reading this article you'll be pumped up with new hopes and new light​, because I will show you some amazing ways on how to love, respect and give value to your own self to build up your self esteem.


#1. Acknowledge Your Own Positive Qualities

If you want to increase or gain your self esteem than you must find your own passion and qualities, basically doing the things that you love doing the most, the things you're good at.

Say for instances you're very good in motivational speaking and if you happen to motivate your colleagues to perform better by making them realize about their good qualities, it feels so awesome and if this helped you to get a promotion, it's a success to be celebrated.

It happened because you used your good quality of motivational speaking to encourage others to perform better and in the process you got promotion because you "BOSS" admired this quality.

When you achieve success in one part of your life, it automatically increases your self esteem and confidence to shine in other parts too.

NoteSome people are awesome at understanding what makes them tick and what are their unique points, but for many others like you and me it appears a tedious task. But one must understand that it takes time and some times it takes high level of brainstorming to find out our unique qualities and turn them up into reality.

Same way these little successes fuel your goals to make your other dreams come true and can work in almost every aspect of your life and in the process you're likely to increase your self esteem too because you're happy with your little successes and your happiness is directly connected with your self esteem as I said above.

So, what you can do is sit down in a quite place for few minutes a day and consider the things that you excel at and jot them down on a piece of paper and start implementing them in your routine life to see the results for yourself.

Trust me by doing things you're good that, you will slowly raise your self esteem and self confidence.


#2. Set Your Goals Wisely

Setting your goals wisely is extremely crucial, if you ever want to increase your self esteem. Nothing can ruin your self esteem and self confidence than setting unrealistic dreams and goals.

It is crucial because when you don't achieve the goals that you have set, it hurts badly and may even destroy your self esteem completely.

Say for instances - "you're working in a very high profile company and you're getting very highly paid, but you're not happy with your job even though you're getting a nice pay out of it. Maybe because you don't feel passion in it.

Now if you happen to set a goal that in next 5 years, I will quit this job and set up a new business with the help of the handsome pay that I am receiving. But if for some reasons your uncontrollable expenses do not allow you to save enough money that you assumed would help you to quit this current job.

What will happen in that case?

It means you've set unrealistic goals and expectations even when you knew somewhere in your mind that it was not possible. The point is after 5 years you're not in a position to quit this job and that really sucks and kills your self esteem and morale"

Conclusion - why set a goal that we just cannot accomplish.

I will share you with you my own example - I always wanted to start a blog to write on success, love and relationship issues that's what my passion is. But my father always wanted me to study and get a good job and I had to obey him, today I am working for a bank, but trust me even though I am very loyal in my work, still I just hate my job, but at the same time I am also following my passion which raises my self esteem and keeps me happy.

I have set a realistic goal of 5 years from now, maybe in 2020, I will be able to quit this job, meaning I am giving myself enough time to ensure that I do not lose hope, because if I lose happy, it will kill my passion and self esteem and that's not something that I want. I hope now it's clear that setting clear and realistic goals is so crucial to keep up with your self esteem and achieve your dreams.

Analyze your expectations wisely, if they continue to discourage you. It will also help to block the cycle of pessimistic thinking about yourself that strengthen your negative self-esteem.


#3. Develop Habit of Learning To Gain Your Self Esteem

If you want to be successful in life, you got to have a positive self esteem combined with the desire to learn everything that is required to be successful.

Once you develop the habit of learning it also helps to increase your self esteem, because learning automatically brings positivity in your life.

Learning is an art that refines with failure, you fail, you learn and improve. It is not something that you do for sometime and then stop.

It's a journey that will end the day you'll die. And remember that people with positive and high self esteem have the courage to keep learning.

Note that Life always keeps moving just like time, it's not like going school and college and stopping at a certain age after getting a degree.

Life is not about learning few classes and thinking now you have achieved everything, NO it's not like that - You have to continue to learn and keep refining your skills and knowledge.

You need to find alternatives to counter obstacles and problems that come in your path and it is possible only with the experience of learning and refining your skills.

The most important part is you must stay happy while facing all these obstacles and it is possible only when you possess high level of self esteem and confidence which is possible only when you're ready to learn.

I will share with you my own example again - I read two books one is "You can Win" by Shiv Khera and the other one is "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki - Sometimes I keep reading the same lines again and again,

I will tell you why?

You see life can be very stressful at times, it's very easy to write here increase your self esteem and stay confident. But trust me, it's very hard to implement what you learn. Whenever I feel, I am low on self esteem and self confidence, I read these books to get some inspiration to increase my self esteem and keep moving positively without stumbling. Trust me it really helps.

I do this because I want to refine and improve every day, these books constantly allow me to learn more about myself and what I want to achieve out of my life.

I have developed a habit of learning based on progressive improvement. I never read a book in one go and then expect to be amazingly better at everything I do overnight. It's not possible to improve overnight.

You need to understand that learning is an art that helps you to slowly progress at things in life you're passionate about.

PRO TIP - Start from today and make a habit for learning and these habits will build up your self esteem and eventually take you to new heights of success.

#4. Distinguish Correctly Between Positive and Negative Criticism

Criticism has two faces one is constructive and the other one is destructive, constructive criticism when absorbed positively raises your self esteem to improve yourself in those aspects of your life where you seriously need to improve.

On the other hand destruction criticism always lets you down, it's pricks like a needle in your heart.

You can also term it as "sarcasm or taunt" in other words. It's important to ignore destructive criticism by people who want to drag you down.

This kind of people are like pain in the ass, and if you really want to gain higher self esteem just laugh and move on.

Do not take their words on heart or else you'll too become one of them and that's not something that you want.

Remember we talked above, keep learning so that YOU are able to tackle every small and big obstacles of your life.

#5. Choose Your Feeling When You Feel a Negative Emotion

This is a awesome technique or exercise you can perform when you’re feeling a negative emotion and want to switch to a more positive one.

  • Take 15 to 20 deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.
  • Expand your stomach as you inhale and allow it to collapse as you exhale. This calms and clears your mind and opens the channel to your inner self and also helps to build up your self esteem.
  • Once you’ve taken a 10-15 breaths, on your next breath, inhale and pause for a second at the height of the in-breath.
  • At that moment, just before you exhale, turn your awareness inwards and feel the relief you’re already feeling from the negative emotion you were feeling.
  • Exhale and completely release the emotion.
  • Continue to breathe slowly and deeply, creating a new feeling choice. You may wish to make a statement such as, “I choose to feel appreciative and optimistic
  • Choose whatever new feeling you desire. As you inhale, welcome and breathe in the new feeling; as you exhale, continue to release any negative feeling.

As I mentioned above this is a amazing technique that helps you feel relaxed by consciously connecting to your inner self by increasing your self esteem.

Take a quiz here to see where you're standing in your life and where you're heading towards - Click Here to Take the quiz..

#6. Self Awareness Is The Key To Build Up Your Self Esteem

What is self awareness? Self awareness is having knowledge about your own self, you own character, your own limits and your own beliefs.

If you want to achieve the life of your dreams, it's important to build self awareness about your own self.

It will not only help you to raise your own self esteem significantly, but also help you to have right knowledge about your own character.

Still there's a problem to be solved, just by knowing about your own character doesn't improve you, you also need to improve on the negatives if there's scope for improvement.

What I mean is just by building “self awareness” only will help you to know about yourself, but knowing only is not enough, you also need to take action to HELP YOU tune in with your true destiny.

No matter who you pretend to be on the outside, you will not become perfect in life unless you improve on things you're not good at. Do you know why some people never improve in life and some do wonders in life.

It's because you've set a limit and you believe somewhere in your mind this limit is the end for you. Limitation is the enemy to your success, with limitation you can never achieve greatness in life.

Limitation will only create doubts, negativity and insecurity in your mind. The more you try to hide or walk away from your fears, the more you'll lose your self esteem.

It's important to be aware of your natural personality and your intrinsic desires and stay fearless to gain your self esteem and move forward towards your goals in life.


#7. Give More And Expect Less

If you want to learn how to increase your self esteem

Learn to give more and expect less, meaning stay contented. Now, by asking you to stay contented doesn't mean that you should give up on your dreams and just sit idle. No it's not what I mean. I will explain it below.

People who constantly think about what they want and how they approach about getting it, almost never get what they want. 

These are people will low self esteem who constantly think only about getting and they don't believe in sharing or giving.

In fact It's people who realize that giving away is the secret sauce to getting in return and keep winning in life. These are people with high self esteem, they give voluntarily without expecting anything in return.

Now giving doesn't mean just volunteering wasting your time and money simply for the sake of being generous.

In fact giving is to attract people into your life who can help you to have what you want. At the same time, how they benefit from you in return.

Say For Instance: When you go for a workout in gym, you feel starved after doing some exercise. It's because your body loses energy in the workout process and wants to refill the energy that you lost.

Same holds true when you learn to give, every time you’re giving, you send energy out and you create a vacuum. And it is in the characteristics of the universe to fill that vacuum with new energy, and that “new energy” will most likely resemble with what you originally gave in order to create the vacuum.

In other words, give positive energy, so that you create a vacuum to receive positive energy in return. Give negative, and you’ll create a vacuum to receive negative energy in return.

Now, Tell Me What Would You Want To Attract?

Positive energy or negative energy, remember giving away positive energy will always help you to raise your self esteem and giving negative energy will always lower your self esteem, now it's up to you to decide what you want. I hope you're getting my point.

Guys I believe these 7 points are sufficient enough to improve your self esteem in life.

To be honest there are endless tips and points on how to increase your self esteem and you will keep reading them in numerous, blogs, magazines and forums. But that's not going to help you gain higher self esteem, trust me guys, it will not.

The important thing implementation after reading these points for good in your life only than it will make sense. 

These 7 tips are like gold mines, they are in depth and to the point, but it's in your hands to make this points come to life to raise your self esteem and live the life you always wanted. I hope it's making sense to you.

Before I conclude, I seriously urge you to take this 60 Second quiz, it will definitely help you, guide you, nurture you in the journey of your life.

Are you on the path you should be on towards a life of great prosperity, love, health and happiness?

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I will stop here friend, I hope you guys found this post useful and if you really liked it please do not forget to share with your friends on social media and many other people who need motivation to live their dream life. Have a nice day, see you another day with a brand new article and do not forget to sign up below to read get your 3 Free eBooks to help you live the life of your dreams. 


About the Author Manish Yadav

Hi, I'm Manish A passionate blogger from India. I'm on a mission to help you discover your lost happiness and inner peace again by truly connecting with your soul.Believe me you deserve to be truly happy and prosperous in this one and only life.

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