First of all, I am extremely sorry that you're forced to read this article. But if you are really facing issues in your married life this article will help to understand how to fix marriage problems when your marriage is falling apart.
Read this with your whole heart. At the end of this article I have shared my RECOMMENDATION for you to take action and it's only my recommendation and not a compulsion by any means.
So let's begin how to fix marriage problems with some simple solutions.
The situation of your marriage maybe more or less will be the same depending on the different circumstances mentioned in this article.
I have tried my best to relate to your marriage problems and present situation in this article.
So let's start working on your marriage to solve the issues in your married life.
Perhaps your partner is ready to end the marriage, and you’re not.
Or maybe your partner is not willing to attend counseling or work on the marriage, but you are. because you truly want to solve your marriage problems and issues.
Maybe your spouse isn’t speaking to you much right now. Or maybe when you do speak to each other every conversation ends in a shouting match.
You argue about everything. Or you never argue at all because he won’t discuss anything important any more.
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Or because she’s never home – she either avoids being near you or has already moved out.
Whatever is going on between you right now is horrifying, frightening, very, very painful and full of anger and resentment.
You are feeling blindsided by the discovery that your spouse is unhappy and angry in the marriage and that she thinks it needs to end. You didn’t see this coming.
Maybe you had an idea that things weren’t right, but you didn’t think, or you didn’t want to believe, that it was this bad.
You desperately don’t want to separate and you honestly believe that your relationship has a sound foundation and your marriage can be saved.
Traditionally, couples in crisis are advised to attend “marriage counseling” or “couples therapy”.
There, they work with a counselor who creates a safe environment for them to have honest and open discussions with one another about the marriage.
They look for the root cause(s) of the problems they’re having.
They may concentrate on improving communication, listening skills, conflict resolution, understanding, forgiveness, trust, commitment, physical intimacy and so on.
Done properly, this can be very helpful - these are all very good things to work on. But it takes time, maybe a lot of time.
But one thing is certain your marriage problems will be solved and fixed if everything works out perfectly.
In contrast, if you want to learn how to fix your marriage problems follow the system HERE even if you're working alone to save your marriage, you can begin immediately.
For couples counseling to be effective you must both be willing to attend, participate and work hard on facing these issues. You must both believe that the marriage is (a) salvageable and (b) worth saving.
Unfortunately, your partner has told you that he is not willing to do that with you. Maybe he thinks he’s already made all the efforts he can to repair your relationship.
Read More On: Accept Your Marriage Situation GOOD or BAD (To Save It – Read Here)
He may believe the marriage is past the point of no return and he’s given up hope and sees separation / divorce as the only answer.
Giving up hope is only one reason for not wanting to go to seek help, whether from a therapist, a physician, a minister or any other person.
Your spouse’s reluctance to engage in counseling may not be an indication that he/she thinks the marriage can’t be saved. It can be related to a number of other factors and life experiences.
Refusal to seek help happens much more frequently on the part of men. Their refusal could be related to a belief that asking for help is for weaklings and he’s or she is too macho for that.
He/she feels that he needs to be tough and to work this out by himself. He may be embarrassed to be seen to be in need of help.
Maybe he/she thinks counseling will dredge up old pain from his past, and he just doesn’t want to experience that.
You may have attended counseling together in the past and it wasn’t helpful.
He may also think that all the problems in the marriage are your fault, so you are the one who needs counseling – no need for him to go!
Or maybe he is simply not willing, or is legitimately unable, to invest the time or the money on counseling sessions.
Regardless of what his/her reasons are, your partner doesn’t want to seek help to mend the marriage and fix the broken relationship.
He/She isn’t prepared at this time to invest any energy in saving your relationship.
Her feelings and beliefs are real for her and, even if you don’t agree with them, you need to respect them You are on your own.
Believe it or not, that is not a bad place to be. You can work on saving your marriage alone, at least until your spouse starts to engage and participate.
And trust me, he will, if you simply make a few small behavioral changes on your own.
Important Note:
Remember venting or complaining about your spouse is not the answer; the conversation should be focused on you working on your thoughts and feelings rather than what your partner “did wrong.”)
Try to imagine yourself letting go of the irritation of not getting the conversation you were seeking.
Work on how you think about this - practice using accepting, encouraging words and phrases in your mind instead of thinking in circles about how frustrated you are.
Then focus your own mental efforts on how you can positively affect the problem you wanted to address.
Try this exercise. Imagine you have just finished a productive, satisfying conversation with your partner about whatever topic you have been wanting to discuss.
(Don’t try to imagine the conversation itself because that can easily lead to an imaginary argument!)
At the end of this hypothetical conversation, what would you have decided that YOU should do about the problem? Start doing that.
Forget about what you would want your partner to do. With time, it’s possible your partner will be willing to discuss the problem or will start making changes in their behavior.
Regardless, your actions will likely make things better on their own.
HOW DID WE GET HERE?
While you may be shocked by your spouse’s announcement, you need to know that this situation has been building for a long time. Marriages do not reach a state of crisis overnight.
Do you remember when you and your partner were first dating? You probably kissed and cuddled and giggled and talked all night and made love at every opportunity.
You thought she was funny and smart and fun and interesting. You fell in love with your spouse because he said and did good things. He made you feel good.
Excited to have found your soulmate, you happily got married and suddenly dating ended and real life took over.
Once we’re married we no longer need to date and flirt and impress and amuse the other person.
The “courting” stage of the relationship has ended and we’ve committed to one another.
We start to take things for granted. We begin to forget to feed the Connection Account.
As months and years pass couples have a tendency to pay less attention to keeping the love alive.
We get involved with other things – work, kids, sports, hobbies and so on.
We take our spouse for granted and forget to tell them we love them; to show them we love them.
We forget to set aside time to nurture the relationship and remind ourselves what we were attracted to in the first place. We forget to remind them why they love us!
We neglect our relationship.
Sadly, not only do we tend to neglect our relationship but we can also do things to harm it. Our behavior directly affects how our partner feels about us.
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And because we think we are secure in a marriage of unconditional love, sometimes we forget that our behavior can negatively affect the way our spouse feels about us.
Perhaps we become less careful about what we say and how we say it. I call these negative, hurtful behaviors “debits” from the Connection Account.
Do some of the behaviors in the list below look familiar? Repeated displays of these and other unpleasant behaviors can take a very large toll on a relationship.
The damage it causes - anger, resentment and bitterness - can build subtly.
What do I mean by harmful behaviors? Here are a few unattractive and unlovable examples:
nagging
angry outbursts
demanding behavior
blaming
criticism
ridicule
sarcasm
disrespect
dishonesty
jealousy
If these behaviors, or others like them, have been occurring in your marriage they have taken a toll on your relationship.
It is impossible to be on the receiving end of this kind of behavior and not react negatively to it. Sometimes people react visibly by responding in kind, or shouting or retaliating.
And some people say nothing and try to suppress their negative emotions.
It is possible that you have arrived at this point in your marriage another way, such as infidelity or an outside stress. A marriage can reach a crisis stage in hundreds of different ways.
Regardless of how you got there, your marriage is in crisis and your spouse wants to resolve that crisis by getting out of the marriage.
It is not necessary to end the marriage! As long as you want to save it, it is possible to do so. Your partner’s unwillingness to participate is not a handicap at all.
In fact, working alone on saving your marriage can be more immediate and more effective than working together!
That's the reason I want to recommend you a powerful program that will help you to MEND YOUR MARRIAGE.
You can Watch The Free Video Here if your married life and marriage problems really matter to you and you wish to solve them to live a peaceful life.
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