For some people, living their passion seems to come naturally. They throw themselves into the pursuits they love with no regard for what society expects of them. But it isn’t that easy for all of us.
You’ve made lists. You’ve asked your friends for advice. You’ve tried journaling and you’ve analyzed every thought you’ve ever had. Yet, you’re still asking yourself “what is my passion?”
That’s because passion comes from the heart, not the head. Chances are, you already know what your passion is. You just need to connect with it.
Or maybe you are still wondering how to find your passion and purpose. Whatever your situation is at the end of this guide I promise you will discover your passion and will be able do what you love and want to do.
Please note: We will go backwards in this blog post first we will discuss the benefits of doing what you love and than we will discuss how to find your passion and purpose.
So let's begin.
Part one: Benefits of doing what you love!
a) When you do what you love, you’re so ‘full’ inside that you stop buying impulse junk.
People who love their work are almost always free of impulse shopping and compulsive shopping. Why?
Because there’s no ‘hole’ inside them screaming ‘Fill me! Fill me!’ They’re already full because they spend all day feeling happy, meaningful and fulfilled in a way you can’t find at the mall.
b) When you do what you love, you save money on ‘necessary’ comfort items that right now you feel like you could never do without.
People who are bored in their work spend a LOT of what they earn on ‘comfort items’ like alcohol, drugs, bargain sweater sets, new pretty underwear to add to the already-bulging drawer, comfort food, expensive meals out, etc.
But people who do what they love rarely feel the need to ‘comfort themselves’, so they instantly begin to retain a huge portion more of their salary.
(Figures show that the average American spends upwards of 30% of their salary on comfort items. What would you do with an extra 30%?) which increased to 43% in the pandemic as per this article here.
Please note: I’m not saying that these people automatically quit smoking, drinking, and never buy sweaters again. It’s just that if they do these things, they do them to add to existing joy, not because they need to ‘comfort’ themselves.
c) When you do what you love all day, you save money on convenience, too. You don’t come home sapped, frazzled, and too tired to cook, talk, play, and spend time with your loved ones.
On the contrary, you have MORE energy than you had at the beginning of the day – because that’s what happens when your life is lived enthusiastically.
Not only does this surfeit of energy add to the quality of your life, but also to the number of dollars in the piggy-bank in a very real way: people with energy don’t need to spend their hard-earned money on convenience meals or takeout (because they’re too tired to cook.)
They don’t need to rent a movie (because they’re too tired to actually talk to their family.)
They don’t need to drink a bottle of wine with dinner (because otherwise how would they unwind?) They don’t need to hire a dog-walker, a housekeeper, a gardener.
They have energy to do these things themselves, and actually take pleasure in doing them, too, because these people have enough energy to go around.
So let’s be frank when you find your passion and do what you love life becomes meaningful
People who do what they love have MORE money than people who don’t for two major reasons:
1. They feel like they have more money available to them because each dollar earned gives actual pleasure, instead of being used as a ‘boredom-reducer’.
2. They literally DO have more money available to them, zero debt because of the hugely reduced amount of money being spent on work-related expenses (like mood-boosters from being worn out and bored all day, more alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs to ‘wind down’ with, expensive meals because they’re short on energy, and so on.)
In other words, not only is money WORTH MORE when you do what you love, but you also HAVE MORE OF IT LEFT at the end of the week.
FACT: Most people would rather get $16,000 a year from a job they LOVE (and feel intense pleasure from most of the time) than $80,000 a year doing what bores them.
FACT: money literally increases in the value you get from it when it comes from doing what you love because YOU USE IT TO ADD TO YOUR PLEASURE, NOT MINIMIZE YOUR PAIN.
FACT: The PURPOSE of money is to make our lives better – not to try and widen the gap between ‘you’ and ‘miserable’.
Now let’s look at another interesting financial fact:
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When You Do What You Love, You Also Earn More Anyway!
We’ve been working this whole time on the premise that you’ll probably have to take a pay cut to do what you love. But is this actually the case?
Literally: NO. Actually, you’ll probably earn MORE if you love what you do, since:
a) When you do something well, you generally earn more from it. And it’s impossible not to do well at what you love. And therefore.
b) Since you’ll be kicking ass at your well-loved job, you’ll set yourself up to get more promotions, raises, or customers.
A quick reminder: don’t forget, any and all money you DO earn gives you about ten times as much pleasure as the same amount earned in a job you hate anyway, which is icing on the cake.
I’m being intentionally repetitive here with this statement, because this is a BIG CONCEPT for most people.
Many of us can’t get our heads around the fact that it’s possible to not only do what we love, but also to get more pleasure from the money earned doing it, and to earn more doing it in the first place.
So I need to repeat myself a few times here!
Part two: How Do I Figure Out What is My Passion and Purpose in Life.
You’ve already spent a lot of time wading through the last few paragraphs or so on this topic with me, so I’ll be brief:
It’s actually harder than most of us think to figure out your passion and purpose in life.
Here, I’ll prove it: answer me the following question. What would I need to accomplish in order to look back on my deathbed and feel that I’ve achieved my life’s purpose?
Difficult to answer, huh? Fact is, most people HATE questions like that.
Here’s why: it’s because we can’t figure out how to choose a job we like and are fulfilled by until we actually get used to living like a person who naturally does what fulfills us in ALL aspects of life.
In other words, you can’t choose a career that aligns well with what’s important to you until you start acting like someone who prioritizes doing what’s meaningful to them, in all aspects of life.
So let me ask you a few questions:
How do you live your daily life?
What sort of choices do YOU make every day?
Do you habitually tell the truth, even when it’s difficult to do so?
Or do you fulsomely agree with others, even when you disagree?
Do you treat yourself with care and appreciation, or do you habitually cram drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and harmful foods into your gullet?
Do you take care of your body?
Do you get enough sleep?
Do you honor your own needs and preferences?
Do you berate yourself for doing something that appears to be ‘unproductive’ but which you feel that you need for your own sanity - taking a nap, reading a good book, or spending time alone?
Bottom line: do you live each day like someone with integrity?
Because until you do, it will be virtually impossible for you to so much as get an IDEA of what your ‘life’s purpose’ is, since you won’t have any idea of what’s important to you, or how to act in a way that prioritizes it.
(By the way, I didn’t invent this idea. But it is tremendously useful! If you want to really delve into it in depth, I recommend Marsha Sinetar’s excellent book Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow.)
Think about it: this all makes perfect sense. We can’t leap into a sudden life-changing understanding of ‘what to do with our lives’ if, up until now, each day (which is a microcosm of a life) has been spent doing what makes you unhappy, bored, and is not aligned with your values.
You need to FORGE THE HABIT before you can understand which career and which area will fulfill you best.
So here’s what I suggest to find out your passion and purpose in life:
Take a pencil and a piece of paper. Now note down ten things you like to do that ‘fill you up’ and make you feel clean, healthy, comforted, satisfied, fun, and happy.
You’ll also want these things to be things that don’t make you feel regretful, sad, or anxious afterwards – so taking drugs, smoking, drinking, gambling, or indulging any other self harmful habits are NOT permitted on this list.
The goal here is to think of 10 things that make you feel good, and that also reaffirm that you are someone who habitually takes care of themselves, acts with personal integrity towards their own needs and values, and regularly acts in a fulfilling, healthy, meaningful way.
Whenever I suggest this to someone, they inevitably want to know what’s on my list.
I always tell them that it makes no difference what’s on my list, that the aim here is to figure out what makes THEM feel rewarded, truly happy, and ‘filled up’ … but they always want to know anyway.
So here – with a sheepish expression – is my current list, in no particular order, of Things That Reaffirm My Worth, Fulfill Me, and Fill Me Up:
- Taking a nap during the day.
- Hanging out with my dog, singing nonsensical made-up songs to him, and cuddling.
- Running outside in nature on still, overcast days, or early in the morning on hot sunny days.
- Yoga class.
- Baking chocolate-chip cookies that make the house smell like home, and sharing them with my partner Allan over a cup of hot chocolate.
- Buying second-hand books, and then spending all weekend letting the answer-phone pick up while I read them.
- Buying colorful fluffy socks, hair pampering products, and stretchy jeans at bargain prices on Ebay.
- Lying in the sun on a deck-chair with a glass of homemade lemonade at my side and a good book in my hands.
- Watching funny, romantic, or escapist/fantasy movies and laughing loudly, without censure, at all the funny parts.
These things might not do anything for you (in fact, they probably won’t), but they are things that make me feel like I’m taking good care of myself, that relax me, and that I would rather do than almost anything else.
So here’s your task: to set yourself on the path to finding your true passion and career, I want you to do the following five things.
Five Things To Find Your Passion And Set Your Feet On the Path to a Fulfilling Life.
1. Get into the practice of living with integrity to yourself.
If you say you’re going to go to the gym today, go.
If the dishes need washing, wash them.
If you disagree with someone, don’t smile and nod as if you agree.
Allow honesty to make an appearance in your life, and begin to give voice to who you REALLY are. Start small and work up.
2. Prepare a list of 10 things that you like to do – that YOU like to do, not what other people like to do – that ‘fills you up’.
These things should reaffirm that you are someone who is worth taking good care of, and make you feel happy, increase your belief level, make you feel relaxed, and fulfilled.
They should also be things that you really can do, and do as and when you need to, in your current life.
3. Take a note from Your Money Or Your Life and become conscious of how much time you REALLY spend at your current job.
If time is more important than money (and trust me, it is), are you getting enough pleasure out of the time you spend at work to make it all worthwhile?
I’m not just talking about time AT WORK; include time getting ready for work, time commuting there and back, time shopping for work clothes, time preparing lunch for work, and all the time you spend doing overtime, thinking about work, and dreading it.
You don’t need to ‘do’ anything about this yet; just start becoming conscious of it. Awareness is a powerful transformational tool in its own right.
4. Start thinking about which VALUES resonate well with you. The list of ‘Things That Fill You Up’ is a great place to start: use your choices to see what values you really have.
For example, you can see from my own list that I value solitude, family time, creativity, health, beauty, and fitness; what values do your choices hint at?
Again, you don’t need to do anything with this information. Just practice self-awareness.
At some point in the future, you’ll be using this information to make a choice about your field of work.
That day is not today though – remember, think awareness, not action (just yet.)
5. Consider this phrase: ‘being your best self’. This is a phrase that I have always espoused with all my clients and readers, and I’ll continue to do so here. What does it mean to you to ‘be your best self’?
Begin to cultivate aspirations of feeling proud of yourself, feeling satisfied in your day to day life, and of being fulfilled.
Note that I am not telling you what to do to feel those things; merely that you need to figure out, on your own, how you can act so you’ll experience those feelings first-hand.
You need to know how it feels to be your best self because the qualities that are usually essential to that state of being include discipline, self-awareness, and conscious living; and you’ll need all three of those things in order to choose, and excel at, a job you love.
Note that ‘feeling satisfied’ and ‘doing what’s easiest’ are not always the same thing; in fact, usually they’re at loggerheads.
Discipline is an important aspect of finding your true passion, and doing, what you love; the path that will fulfill you – that of becoming your best self – is one that requires effort, but the rewards are more than worth it.
So spend some time thinking about who you would like to be, and write down 5 qualities of this future version of you that you can implement NOW.
Tip: make them easy. Small steps will reinforce your sense of self-worth; huge steps will discourage you, feel hard and difficult, and cause you to quit.
This is fun, so do it in a way that’s fun – and always, always, use baby steps.
For example, ‘choosing how I want to spend the upcoming weekend’ instead of ‘tell my boss he’s a tightwad’, or ‘go for a walk at lunchtime’ instead of ‘go on a strict diet for the next 6 months’
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