What other people think of you is none of your business Believe me. People talk about other people - it’s human nature. They always have and they most likely always will.
Most of us feel that when we’re the topic of conversation we have the right to know what’s being said.
However, there is another way of thinking that can make life a lot easier on the person that’s being talked about!
When author Paulo Coelho stated on Facebook that “What other people think of you is none of your business”, an astounding 37,000 people indicated that they liked his statement.
Many experts believe this is because so many people feel judged and criticized for the choices they make and the way they live their lives.
At a time when individuals of all ages are suffering from self-esteem issues, it’s more important than ever to learn to ignore other people’s opinions of you.
Different personality types respond differently to criticism.
While one person might feel the need for an immediate confrontation with someone who has made remarks about them, the next person might be devastated to learn that anyone has a negative opinion of them.
They might avoid that person and spend all of their time worrying about how to change that thing about themselves that the other person has criticized.
These are usually the people who are harmed most by giving others the power to control their emotions and actions.
Here are 10 amazing ideas to confirm that What other people think of you is none of your business. Keep reading to find out more.
#1. Approval Addiction.
Some individuals need approval from everyone all the time. They strive to please every individual in their life so that there is never anything negative said about them. To most of us, it is evident that this is impossible to do.
There will always be someone who doesn’t like the way you dress, how you speak, the way you hold your pen in your hand when you write, or any other ridiculous thing that they can use to create criticism.
You’re never going to get the results you desire when you constantly strive to obtain approval from all types of individuals.
One reason you will never get the type of approval you are searching for is that there are other people in the world who have “disapproval addictions.”
They love nothing more than telling others that they are doing things the wrong way.
It doesn’t matter whether it is the type of paper they are using in the office printer or their choice in a spouse, they are always ready to people what they could and should have done differently.
These “disapproval addicts” are never going to approve of anything because they presume to know more about your business than you do.
While this might be due to a lack of confidence in themselves or from a personality disorder, it doesn’t matter. Their opinion isn’t any of your business, and should never be taken seriously anyway!
#2. In Search of Perfection.
Regardless of what should be a common understanding among all types of people, there are still those individuals who think they can attain perfection.
They are always at the top of their game. They diet and exercise to stay in peak condition, use the newest products, never have a chipped nail, and refuse to have bad hair days.
A perfectionist rejects criticism by making sure there is nothing to criticize no matter what it takes.
The problem with this approach is that there is no such thing as a perfect person.
Perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder and the differences that others have will translate into flaws in you.
If you emulate someone that is perfect in your eyes, you are simply satisfying your own criteria for what is perfection, not that of others.
If you pour all of your time, energy and money into achieving a persona of perfection, you are wasting it on an ideal that doesn’t even exist
#3. Why Does It Matter?
Why is it important not to pay attention to what others are saying about you?
One of the 19 Points written by Ralph G Anderson which were formalized in 1995 but had taken root in his childhood states “When you let others people’s opinion of you bother you; you let them control you.
You have no control of other people’s opinion; you have control of your character.”
When someone criticizes something about you and it stays on your mind, eating away at you until you try to change it, then they are making you behave in a way that is different than you want to be.
It is amazing that another person’s opinion can be an offhand remark that they may not even remember making by the next day while it can stay on your mind indefinitely and your inner critic keeps recalling it again and again!
Nothing is more harmful to a person’s self-esteem than letting another person take control of how they live their lives.
#4. The Parent Factor.
Unfortunately, many individuals are exposed to their worst critic during childhood although their problems continue long after they become adults.
It isn’t uncommon for children to have parents who are constantly reminding them that they aren’t good enough or that they don’t compare to their sibling.
After spending their developmental years with nothing but negativity, it is difficult to be confident and assured once they reach adulthood.
This is especially true when they continue to be exposed to comments from the domineering parent long after they should be independent.
As difficult as it may be to take control of your own life and the decisions you make, once you are an adult, what your parents think of you is no longer your business!
You are your own person and if you haven’t pleased them by now, you are not likely to do so now.
Some parents are simply repeating the process that they themselves grew up with while others may be responding to their own feelings of inadequacy as children or adults.
Whatever the reason, once you are of legal age it’s time to cut the cord!
#5. Concern vs. Criticism.
Although every other person’s opinion of you is unimportant, it is essential to be able to tell the difference between criticism and genuine concern for your wellbeing.
Not every person that you are in contact with daily has the same degree of importance in your life.
There are family members and friends who care about you and don’t want you to do something that could be bad for your health.
If we completely eliminate the need to listen to other’s opinions, interventions wouldn’t be very effective!
The key is whether the individual, or group of individuals, is using criticism or compassion, self love and concern to deliver their message to you.
For instance, “I can’t believe have frizzy your hair looks! Maybe you should get a wig or something if that’s all you can do with it” doesn’t sound very kind whereas “You know, your hair is looking a little thin and drier than usual.
Maybe you should mention it to your doctor” is an observation that might be made by someone close to you who is concerned something may have changed with your health.
Sometimes we tend to become overly defensive, especially if we have been exposed to a great deal of criticism.
As I said What other people think of you is none of your business so keep an open mind when it comes to important issues that might be of a real concern and which aren’t just the opinions of another person.
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#6. Thinking vs. Acting.
The workplace is one of the most difficult places to deal with others, especially the ones who think their opinions are always needed whether you want them or not!
You can learn to ignore the person who is constantly telling you what you should be doing differently but there are also those who go a step further and which may require a different approach.
Some examples include:
- A co-worker who is consistently reporting you for doing inferior work, breaking office rules, etc. This is not just stating an opinion; this is sabotaging your career! In this case, you will need to talk with a supervisor about the problem and address the complaints individually. Once you have disproved the claims, future incidences aren’t likely to be a problem.
- The individual is “acting out” towards you. Some individuals aren’t happy enough to torment you by letting you know what they think. Maybe you constantly have things coming over the wall of your cubicle, your lunch is missing or tampered with, or the individual is constantly “bumping into you.” What the person thinks of you is not your business but what they do to you is harassment. Don’t be afraid to report it, it is your right
#7. The Golden Girls Example.
In one episode of “The Golden Girls”, Betty White’s character, Rose, was upset that her co-worker Roger didn’t like her.
She explains that everyone always likes her and she is determined that Roger will change his opinion.
Overwhelmed by all of the attention Rose is giving him, Roger finally tells Rose that she is his friend and that all he wants from her is to be left alone.
No matter what Rose does, Roger has made his mind up about her and it isn’t going to change. The same thing is true of those people who have a bad opinion of you.
No matter what you do to give them a different impression, their mind is already made up.
If you decide that their opinion is none of your business, however, you can go about your life without worrying what they think.
You are never going to change their opinion but you can change the way you perceive it.
#8. Build Your Defense.
Since the only way to handle any situation where a person’s opinion of you is negative is to dismiss it as being none of your business, you will need to work on the way you think.
In order to do so, there are some important steps you will need to take in order to be prepared when the next incident occurs.
#9. Strengthen Your Self-Esteem.
Confidence is evident in the way you walk, sit, and speak. It is one of the best defenses you can have against an office gossip who is looking for a target.
When you have the confidence to be who you really are and don’t feel compelled to apologize for it, only then can you be truly free to dismiss other’s opinions of you as being “none of my business!”
Some helpful tips include
- Learn to meditate. Meditation is a great way to relax and can bring peace into a stressful situation. You can learn to meditate in as little as one minute no matter where you are so that you have the control over your mind to let things go when it is in your best interest.
- Make a list of your strengths. Include everything positive about yourself including those cute dimples you inherited from your mom to your expertise at a specific area of your job.
- Accept that you will never be perfect, even in your own view. We all have things we would like to do better at but there are limits to what we can accomplish. Push yourself to the limit on those things that matter most and accept that this is as good as it will ever be and that is perfectly all right!
- Have a better opinion of yourself. You can’t expect anyone else to see more in you than you see in yourself. Don’t criticize your faults, learn to overcome them. Once you start putting yourself down, you are accepting that you cannot do better. Learning more and practicing can help you succeed in many different areas that you aren’t that great at now.
- Give yourself a pat on the back. When you have accomplishments that you feel good about, go ahead and congratulate yourself. Every small victory is another step towards a bigger accomplishment and you deserve credit for making them happen!
#10. Learn to Trust Yourself Because What Other People Think of You is None Of Your Business.
There is only one opinion of you that matters and that is the one you have of yourself. Letting someone else’s opinion bother you is the same as handing them a remote control that allows them to guide your actions.
When you reject their opinion, you are taking control and ensuring that you have a happier, more fulfilling life. All you need to do is learn to trust yourself and the choices that you make.
We all make mistakes along the way and you should never let one little slip erase the trust you have for yourself.
You are a unique individual with opinions, preferences, likes and dislikes. Trust that they are the right ones for you
That's all for now. I hope you loved reading this guide on what other people think of you is none of your business. If you really loved it please do not forget to comment and share.
