Learning how to love ourselves is often the most transformative thing we can do, and it doesn’t have to take a lifetime.
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha
Who wouldn’t want to fall in love with the most awesome person in the world?
But do you realize who the most awesome person is? We’re socialized to give our love and affection freely to others. We’re raised to believe that when we finally find someone else to love us, then we’ll be complete.
We’re told to love everyone else but we forget to give love to the most important person in our world – our self!
Self love is the secret key to joy. The ability to love yourself is not only at the very core of your well-being but it also impacts your ability to create and enjoy the kind of life you want.
You simply cannot enjoy pure joy and happiness if you are not at peace with yourself and who you are.
A healthy and loving relationship begins with self love, i.e. with yourself and it is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. If you don’t currently have a loving relationship with yourself, where do you begin?
Take This 7-Day Self Love Challenge to Transform Your Life.
A good place to begin giving yourself more love is by appreciating yourself for who you really are.
Appreciating means self care. It means acknowledging your humanness and accepting your mistakes and weaknesses. It also means taking note of your strengths and accomplishments.
In addition, accepting yourself involves nurturing a healthy sense of self-esteem, coming to terms with those parts of yourself that you cannot change, and, perhaps most importantly, paying close attention to the inner dialogue that you have with yourself.
You would likely be shocked if you were to subject yourself to a tape recording of your inner dialogue and find out just how many times a day you judge or criticize yourself with your self-talk.
Sadly, all too often we don’t treat or talk to ourselves with love.
Have you ever heard yourself say these things that prove you've stopped loving yourself:
- “It’s my fault.”
- “I should have (fill in the blank) by now.”
- “I’m not (good, smart, attractive, rich, etc.) enough.”
- “I’ll never get that job.”
- “I wish that I had a better body.”
- “I’ll never find someone to love me.”
- “I’ll never get what I want. I’m always struggling.”
This sort of negative self-talk is crippling. It prevents you from moving forward and going after the things in life that you truly desire. It stops you from manifesting your dreams and goals.
Most often negative self-talk reflects long-held beliefs about yourself that have no grounding in reality.
They’re often based in the thoughts or comments that have been projected onto you by your family, society or your friends.
The famous research by Dr. Masaru Emoto which is outlined in his book, The Hidden Messages in Water, demonstrates the powerful energetic effect that our thoughts and words can have.
In his research study, Dr. Emoto attached written words such as “Thank you”, “I love you” and “You fool!” onto containers of water which he then froze.
In later research, he also experimented with using thoughts, music and photographs. Once the water had frozen, he took photos of the water crystals that had formed.
The results of his experiments were astounding. In every case in which there was positive energy projected onto the containers of water, whether it was a written word, statement, music or photo, the photos of the frozen crystals were exquisite.
The water crystals were symmetrically woven together into intricate patterns, some resembling diamonds.
On the other hand, in every case in which the stimulus was negative, the water crystals were small, misshapen and deformed.
The question that Dr. Emoto’s research raised was this: “If our thoughts can do this to water, what can they do to us?”
Considering that the human body is comprised of approximately 75% water, this is an important question to consider.
The research suggests that negativity has a devastating impact, right down to the cellular level
If your cells are vibrating with negative energy, by the Law of Attraction, your vibration will only attract more of the same.
If you lack self-love you will attract people and circumstances that mirror your negative beliefs and feelings about yourself.
You attract what you feel so in order to attract loving people and circumstances it’s absolutely essential that you know how to love yourself first.
On a more spiritual perspective, turning your attention and focus inwards will only help deepen the connection to the Universe and to the true nature of your soul as well.
What makes you unique? What are your special talents and abilities? What are some of your greatest accomplishments? What are your strengths?
If you have trouble coming up with the answers to these questions, ask a good friend for their perspective.
This will help you build your list of things that you appreciate about yourself and begin to shift your thinking towards more positive and motivating self talk.
The next time you catch yourself in some negative inner dialogue you’ll be ready to counter it with a more positive alternative.
If you hear yourself say, for instance, “I’ll never find someone to love me” you can switch your self-talk to something more positive such as “I am funny, strong, intelligent and attractive.”
A regular practice of self-nurturing activities will also help boost your self-love. Not only will you increase your self-awareness but you’ll also generate positive feelings of self-worth and accomplishment.
Steps to Cultivate Self Love and Start Loving Yourself in 7 Days From Now.
Do things that will nurture yourself on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually - and that will help you feel good.
- Take care of your body by eating well, exercising and getting enough rest. Choose foods and activities that are good for you, your lifestyle and your body type.
- Stimulate your mind by learning something new. Keeping your mind active helps maintain the health of the neural connections and keeps your brain functioning at an optimum level.
- Love yourself emotionally by tending to your own needs and feelings. Don’t allow stress or negative emotions to build. Maintain a healthy balance between your responsibilities and things that you enjoy. Do things that positively impact others and limit unhealthy mental habits like worrying. Enjoy regular outings in nature.
- Tend to the needs of your spirit otherwise you will feel a lack of balance or experience a sense that something is missing in your life. Meditate, listen to music, do yoga, whatever will help rejuvenate your spirit.
- Commit to doing at least one activity each day that is exclusively for your own self-nurturing. There’s no better way to tell yourself that “I love you” than by spending time giving yourself the care and nurturing that you need and doing something that you want to do.
When you truly love yourself, you not only accept yourself for who you are but you also strive to become even more of who you are.
When you endeavor to be the best that you can be, by the Law of Attraction, the level your gratitude will increase, happiness level will increase, peace of mind will increase and only the inevitable will happen – that you’ll create the best life that you can possible have, a life that you’ll truly love.
Exercises: Your “Awesome” List And Why You Should Love Yourself.
Get out a piece of paper or your journal and write your awesome list.
I’m awesome because....
List all the reasons that you’re awesome. Post your list in a location that you’ll see each day, such as next to your bathroom mirror. Or re-read it in your journal daily.
Switching Technique To Increase Self love And Self Awareness.
You can use this technique whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative.
When you hear yourself saying something negative, imagine that thought diminishing in volume until it disappears.
Alternately, imagine the more positive thought that you’d rather hear growing in volume.
As another option, you can also visualize the thought that you didn’t appreciate spinning away out of sight as an image of what you’d rather experience spins towards you.
In using this self love technique, you reduce the importance of the negative thought and give greater importance to the positive thought.
And in the process you start loving yourself more and more.
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