If you think of yourself as a failure and picture yourself as a failure, you will fail. Think how to develop self-confidence, think of success, think of self worth.
Realize you are born to succeed and to win. Picture yourself successful, happy, and free; and you will be. Whatever you think and feel is true in your conscious mind is embodied in your subconscious and comes to pass into your experience.
That's the law of mind, undeviating, immutable, timeless, and changeless. Have faith and you will overcome all obstacles.
There may be countless reasons why one person is successful in his or her career or business and another is not.
Over the many years that I have interacted with people rich and poor, I have observed that the one most significant ingredient that predestines a person to success or lack of success is how one feels about oneself.
Those who truly love themselves, who feel that they are people of value, are far more likely to achieve success in their lives than those who lack this belief.
What is it that successful people possess that others may not? It is self-esteem or self-confidence. This guide will show you how to develop self-confidence, high self-esteem, high self worth and change your life.
#1. Self-Esteem The Basic Ingredient to Develop Self-Confidence.
Self-esteem is best defined as feeling good about oneself. People with high self-esteem believe that they are more likely to succeed in most things they do. They respect themselves and know that other people respect them.
This does not mean that they are always optimistic about everything and are always cheerful and smiling. We all have bad days and experience times when everything seems to go wrong.
People with high self-esteem can accept this and not let it overwhelm them.
Self-esteem is an integral part of self-confidence. Before you can feel good about the decisions you make, you must believe in yourself. You must truly feel that you are someone of worth.
If you do not have high self-esteem, how can you be confident that your decisions are worthwhile ?
#2. Why do People Lack Self-Confidence?
One common reason is that they may have failed in some activity early in their lives and fear this will happen again.
Another is that other people often teachers or even their own parents were never satisfied with their performance in school or other matters and have left them with a feeling of inferiority.
Still others have tasted success only to have it followed by some sort of failure and have let that failure dominate their minds and doom them to a lack of self-confidence in anything they do.
The key to changing your feelings about yourself lies in your subconscious mind.
The only way for you to reprogram your subconscious mind is through your conscious mind. Your subconscious is always controlled by the dominant idea. Your subconscious will accept the stronger of two contradictory propositions.
If you say, "I want self-confidence but I can't get it; I try so hard; I force myself to pray; I use all the willpower I have," you must realize that your error lies in your effort.
'Some people try to exert "willpower" to change their ways. Willpower is an overt attempt to do this.
To achieve results you must remove thoughts of the negative from the subconscious, and, willpower only reinforces those thoughts. You cannot compel the subconscious mind to accept your idea by exercising willpower. Such attempts are doomed to failure and you get the opposite of what you pray for.
When you concentrate on willpower, you only reinforce in your subconscious mind the act you are trying to overcome.
For example, when a smoker, trying to break the habit, uses willpower, he or she keeps repeating, "I will not smoke." The subconscious mind then focuses on the act of smoking.
If, instead, the smoker concentrates on the joys of freedom from smoking breathing clean, fresh, or-free air, and other benefits the subconscious mind responds accordingly.
If you substitute positive thoughts in your conscious mind to replace the negative ones, they will filter down into the subconscious.
#3. Never Consider Yourself a Failure.
It is your estimates, your blueprints, and your beliefs about yourself that govern you. It is not some other person's belief about you.
If someone says to you, "You're a failure; you'll never amount to anything," what should you do? Say to yourself, "What another person says about me is irrelevant. I'm born to win, to succeed. I must succeed. I'm going to succeed in a remarkable and unique way."
Every time any person says you are going to fail, it's a stimulus to you to reinforce your faith in the power of your subconscious mind, which never fails.
In other words, don't blame others for your failures. Don't blame conditions. Successful people work to overcome poor conditions.
Sure, there will be failures, but that does not mean that you are a failure.
You have within you the creative power to reverse failure, to move on to success. The other person doesn't control you. The power isn't in the other person to manipulate you unless you permit it.
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#4. Self-esteem Grows With Success.
Self-esteem grows within you with each success you have.
Self-esteem will even grow when you meet occasional failure if you remember that the power is still with you and you believe in it and have proven it by your actions. You are what you think you are. You create yourself in the image you have of yourself in your own mind.
Self-esteem and self-confidence are nothing more than the projection of your image of yourself.
If you maintain a strong positive self-image, you will be a happier and more successful person. You will be a person able to hurdle over roadblocks no matter how difficult and achieve the goals you set for yourself. Your greatest need is to believe in yourself, in what you are doing, and in your ultimate destiny.
Self-reliance, or self-confidence, finds its greatest outlet when it is accompanied by a belief that your real self is God-given and that with God all things are possible.
Make up your mind now, this minute. You can have what you wish to possess; and it will be done unto you, as you believe.
Follow the age-old maxim: Be sure you are right, then go ahead. Let nothing move you or shake your conviction. Make it a part of your mentality. And with this kind of belief you will inevitably succeed and move forward in life.
#5. Create a Positive Script for Your Life.
Psychologists tell us that each of us creates a "script" for our lives.
This script may be one of optimism or one of pessimism, one that - makes us happy or makes us troubled, one that reflects positive attitudes and self-esteem or one in which negativism dominates our lives, perhaps even self-loathing.
Men and women who experience failures early in their careers are subject to a loss of self-esteem and self-confidence. Their early failures affect their psyches.
They may subconsciously write for themselves a script of failures and they will be failures unless they can renew their faith in themselves.
If you have written a script of failure, it will dominate your thoughts and actions. You will always consider yourself a failure and you will be a failure. Unless you rewrite that script, you are doomed to lifelong failure and unhappiness.
Most successful men and women were not born with success implanted in their genes.
Stories of these great people often show how they had to overcome poverty, depression, and what appeared to be overwhelming odds before they reached their goals.
They did this by rewriting their mental scripts and changing their self-image from negative to positive. Then by determination, dedication, and hard work, they began to live the success they had scripted.
You, too, can rewrite the script that is keeping you mired at the bottom of life's pit. It takes dedication and never-ending effort, but if you want to climb out of that pit, you can, indeed you must, do it. Some steps to take:
#6. Love Yourself to Develop Self-Confidence.
'Unless you truly respect yourself, you cannot expect others to love and respect you.
#7. Trust Yourself To Develop High Self-Esteem.
Don't hesitate to make decisions about your life. If you set your goals and have confidence that you will succeed, you need not fear making decisions that will help you reach those goals.
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#8. Accentuate the Positive To Develop Self-Worth.
Sure, you may have some failures along the way, but don't dwell on them.
Focus on the achievements you make day by day and your script of success will be reinforced.
Self-esteem is perishable. It must be constantly nourished and reinforced. It is nourished by words, by deeds, by attitudes, and by experience, and by your own commitment you maintain It.
#9. Demand a Great deal From Yourself.
When you achieve a small success, congratulate yourself, but this is not the time to become complacent. Use small successes as incentives to seek even higher achievements.
#10. Give Yourself a Pep Talk To Develop Self-Confidence.
There are times when we need to bolster our self-esteem. Emulate the coach of an athletic team. When the team is falling behind, the coach reaches out to motivate the team he or she gives them a pep talk.
With well-chosen words, the coach instills enthusiasm, self-confidence, and not just the desire to win, but also the commitment to put all their efforts into reaching the goal.
As individuals, we need pep talks, too. We need pep talks when our enthusiasm for life wanes, when we are depressed, when we have suffered failures. When our self-confidence fades and our faith in ourselves is shaken. But where's the coach?
We must be our own coaches. To change the script in your mind, give yourself a pep talk.
Tell yourself you are good, you are winner, you have succeeded in the past, and you will succeed again.
By giving yourself a pep talk, you are planting seeds of high self-esteem in your conscious mind, which when repeated over and over again will seep into your subconscious mind and become the roots of your behavior.
#11. Don't Say "I Can't"; Say "I Will".
Norman Cousins, editor of The Atlantic Monthly and author of Anatomy of an Illness and Human Options, is a living example of how the power of the subconscious mind enables us to release within us our frequently untapped resources.
Cousins was stricken with an illness that almost paralyzed his neck, arms, hands, fingers, and legs.
Soon hospitalized, he was diagnosed as suffering from a serious disease of the connective tissues. His doctor told him, "Your chance for full recovery is one in five hundred."
At first, Cousins allowed his doctor and the hospital "to do their thing" on him. Medication was administered; tests were performed all confirming the diagnosis an negative prognosis. But Cousins refused to accept his fate.
He strongly believed that laughter, confidence, and the will to live had therapeutic value. Cousins soon formulated a plan for the pursuit of affirmative emotions.
His plan drew upon medical resources, human support systems, laughter, and the love of his family.
He then walked out of the hospital, secured a room in a hotel, hired his own nurse, and watched funny movies and television programs.
Ten minutes of a good, deep belly laugh, he found, would provide him with two or three hours of pain-free sleep the first in months.
Week by week, Norman Cousins gained strength; year by year his mobility improved.
He firmly believed that his experience was proof of the power of the will to live and the power of self-confidence to release and unleash the enormous powers within our nature.
Cousins lived an active and productive life for sixteen more years.
#12. Picture Yourself As Success No Matter What is Happening in Your Life.
If you think of yourself as a failure and picture yourself as a failure, you will fail. Think of success. Picture yourself succeeding.
- Make up your mind now, this minute, that you can do what you want to do and can be what you sincerely want to be, and can have what you wish to possess; and it will be done unto you as you believe.
- Unless you love and respect yourself, you cannot even start to build up that successful self-image. There is no reason to perpetuate a negative self-image. You must create a positive self-image if you want to be a successful person.
- Never think meanly, narrowly, or poorly of yourself or regard yourself as weak, inefficient, diseased. Think of yourself as perfect, complete, whole.
- There are sure to be roadblocks as you move forward in your career. Never lose self-confidence. The road to success is rarely easy. Program your subconscious mind to be ready and able to meet and defeat barriers to reaching your goals.
