Showing appreciation for others can be a puzzling task, even for those who are naturally caring. The desire may be there, but its application can be tricky.
Although we may all share the same basic longing to be seen and valued, everyone has their unique preferences. Different gestures speak to different people, so acknowledging someone else’s efforts in a way they will receive it can be challenging.
In this article, You'll learn exactly how to appreciate someone, the benefits of doing so, and practical suggestions for how to start expressing gratitude toward the people you cherish most.
#1. Research on Appreciating Employees.
A recent management study revealed that 46% of employees leaving a company do so because they feel unappreciated; 61% said their bosses don’t place much importance on them as people, and 88% said they do not receive acknowledgment for the work they do.
Whether you are an entrepreneur, manager, teacher, parent, coach, or simply a friend, if you want to be successful with other people, you must master the art of appreciating others.
Consider this: Every year, a management consulting firm conducts a survey with 200 companies on the subject of what motivates employees.
When given a list of 10 possible things that would most motivate them, the employees always list appreciation as the number-one motivator.
Employees:
- Appreciation
- Feeling “in” on things
- Understanding attitude
- Job security
- Good wages Interesting work
- Promotion opportunities
- Loyalty from management
- Good working conditions
- Tactful discipline
It’s interesting to also note that the top three motivators from an employee’s perspective— appreciation, feeling “in” on things, and an understanding attitude—do not cost anything in terms of money, just a few moments of time, respect, and understanding.
#2. There Are Three Methods To Appreciate Someone.
It’s valuable to make a distinction between three different ways to appreciate someone—auditory, visual, and kinesthetic.
These are the three different ways that the brain takes in information, and everybody has a dominant type they prefer.
#3. Auditory Appreciation.
Auditory people need to hear it, visual people need to see it, and kinesthetic people need to feel it.
If you give visual feedback to an auditory person, it doesn’t have the same effect.
The person might say, “He sends me letters and cards and e-mails, but he never takes the time to walk over and tell me to my face.”
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#4. Visual Way to Appreciate Others.
Visual people like to receive something they can see, perhaps even hang on their refrigerator.
They love letters, cards, flowers, plaques, certificates, pictures—gifts of any kind. They can see it and keep the memory of it around forever.
We can tell who these people are by their bulletin boards, refrigerators, and walls. They are covered with reminders that they are loved and appreciated.
#5. Kinesthetic Way to Appreciate Someone.
Kinesthetic people need to feel it—a hug, a handshake, a pat on the back, or actually doing something with them, such as the gift of a massage, taking them out to lunch or dinner, taking them to a baseball game, going for a walk, or going out dancing.
#6. How To Be a Real Pro At Showing Genuine Appreciation to Others.
If you want to be a real pro at appreciation, you want to learn which kind of feedback makes the most impact on the person you are delivering it to.
One easy way is to ask the person to remember the time they felt most loved in their life. Then ask them to describe it to you.
You can ask some follow up questions such as “Was it something they said, something they did, the way they touched you?
Was it the look in their eyes (visual), the tone of their voice (auditory), the tenderness of their touch, or the way they held you as you were dancing (kinesthetic)?”
Once you determine if the person is primarily auditory, visual, or kinesthetic, then you can purposely direct your feedback that way.
#7. My Way of Appreciating of My Wife.
The best way to express appreciation to my wife is with a hug, a kiss, or a foot massage. She feels most loved when I go for a walk with her.
If I am going to give her verbal feedback, she wants me to sit down opposite her, look her in the eye, and hold her hands.
Just lying in bed holding hands is enough to make her feel loved and appreciated.
If I go off on a long-winded appreciation of her, she will usually interrupt me at some point with “Blah, blah, blah; just hold my hand.
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#8. The Perfect Combination on How to Appreciate Someone.
When in doubt, use all three types of communication—auditory, visual, and kinesthetic.
Tell them, show them, and give them a pat on the back.
You can take a person’s hands in yours, look them directly in the eyes, and in a sincere and expressive way tell them that you appreciate them and their efforts. Then give the person a card or a gift to keep as a reminder.
Or you can put your arm around your son or daughter as you walk down the beach together, telling your child how much you appreciate him or her, and then follow up later with a card.
You are sure to make your point.
#9. Who Cares About The Idea of Appreciation.
If asked, could you name the five wealthiest people in the world or five people who have won the Nobel Prize or the last five Academy Award winners for best actor and actress?
The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. When the applause dies, the awards tarnish, and achievements are forgotten, no one cares about who won which award.
But if I asked you to list five teachers or mentors who believed in you and encouraged you, five friends who have helped you through a difficult time, five people who have taught you something worthwhile, or five people who have made you feel appreciated and special—that’s much easier to do, isn’t it?
That’s because the people who make a difference in your life aren’t the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They’re the ones who care.
If you want to be remembered for being important to someone else’s life, make them feel appreciated.
#10. Appreciation Others Could Be the Secret to Your Success
Another important reason for being in a state of appreciation as often as possible is that when you are in such a state, you are in one of the highest vibrational (emotional) states possible.
When you are in a state of appreciation and gratitude, you are in a state of abundance.
You are appreciating what you do have instead of focusing on and complaining about what you don’t have. Your focus is on what you have received, and you always get more of what you focus on.
And because the law of attraction states that like attracts like, you will attract more abundance—more to be thankful for—to you. (The more you are in a state of gratitude, the more you will attract to be grateful for.)
It becomes an upward-spiraling process of ever-increasing abundance that just keeps getting better and better. Think about it.
The more grateful people are for the gifts we give them, the more inclined we are to give them more gifts.
Their gratitude and appreciation reinforces our giving. The same principle holds as true on a universal and spiritual level as it does on an interpersonal level.
#11. Keeping Score.
When I first learned about the power of appreciation, it made total sense to me.
However, it was still something that I forgot to do. I hadn’t yet turned it into a habit.
A valuable technique that I employed to help me lock in this new habit was to carry a 3″ × 5″ card in my pocket all day, and every time I acknowledged and appreciated someone, I would place a check mark on the card.
I would not allow myself to go to bed until I had appreciated 10 people.
If it was late in the evening and I didn’t have 10 check marks, I would appreciate my wife and children, or I would write a letter to my mother or father.
I did whatever it took until it became an unconscious habit. I did this every single day for 6 months—until I no longer needed to carry the card to remind me.
#12. Take Time to Appreciate Yourself, Too.
David Casstevens, formerly of the Dallas Morning News, tells a story about Frank Szymanski, a Notre Dame center in the 1940s, who had been called in as a witness in a civil suit in South Bend, Indiana.
“Are you on the Notre Dame football team this year?” the judge asked.
“Yes, Your Honor.”
“What position?”
“Center, Your Honor.”
“How good a center?”
Szymanski squirmed in his seat, but said firmly: “Sir, I’m the best center Notre Dame has ever had.”
Coach Frank Leahy, who was in the courtroom, was surprised. Szymanski had always been modest and unassuming. So when the proceedings were over, he took Szymanski aside and asked why he had made such a statement. Szymanski blushed.
“I hated to do it, Coach,” he said. “But, after all, I was under oath.”
I want you to be under oath for the rest of your life and own the magnificent being you are, the positive qualities you have, and the wonderful accomplishments you have achieved.
I hope you got the whole point of appreciating others and why appreciation could be a valuable tool to your success.
I will stop here. If you loved reading this article please do not forget to share and comment your thoughts.
