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Many men wonder about female ejaculation. Is it a myth? Is it real? There are hundreds, if not thousands of myths related to this taboo subject.
So why don’t we go straight ahead and plunge ourselves into this wild subject. Join me to discover the mysteries of female ejaculation.
First things first: let’s get some things clear: G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculation are NOT the same thing. Related, and sometimes occurring together, but not the same.
As well, female ejaculation doesn’t come from Skene’s glands nor it is urine — even though it does come from a woman’s urethra, just like a man’s sperm comes from his.
Now I am guessing you’ve got a puzzled face. Confused? Don’t be honey. This article is especially designed to help you understand the subject in a crystal clear way.
It discusses in full what female ejaculation is, isn’t, and what to expect when you make a woman ejaculate.
So let us begin…
It’s still a hotly contested debate in the sex research world, but the reality is that female ejaculation has been around for a very long time.
Just look at the original Kama Sutra texts, or old Asian sexual guides. You’ll see that both have several depictions of women ejaculating freely, copiously, and regularly.
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Still, female ejaculation is hard to test in a scientific manner.
Some believe that it cannot occur without the woman feeling totally at ease, relaxed, and using proper fingering techniques, all of which is difficult to do in a clinical setting.
Yet still some women ejaculate, so obviously there’s some truth to the idea.
Skene’s Glands, as discussed in Hot Licks, surround the urethra and serve a similar function to a man’s prostrate.
Skene’s Glands create female ejaculate, and then use the urethra to release this fluid.
Female ejaculate differs depending on what is eaten, just like a man’s semen It is either milky or clear and it is generally without odor, and has a bit of a sweet taste to it — which makes sense as its made primarily of glucose, fructose and several protein chains.
It really depends on who you ask. Some researchers believe that fructose — one of the sugars present in both women’s and men’s ejaculate — is required for reproductive purposes.
If that’s true, then it would seem reasonable that all women of child-bearing age, barring any issue with their Skene’s Glands or other related biological situations, should be able to conceive when female ejaculate is present.
Yet, some researchers have failed to find any presence of female ejaculate during rigorous testing.
There aren’t a lot of explanations as to why female ejaculate is widely discussed in sexual circles, but seems to hermit itself when studied in a research lab.
Researchers like Franscico Cabello Santamaria believe that female ejaculate, when not present outside of the body, either stays in the bladder or is ‘retrograde ejaculated’ into the bladder.
This would explain many women’s need to urinate immediately after a G Spot orgasm.
Another theory presented by Tom Leonardi in his book, Secrets of SensualLovemaking, is that women are only able to ejaculate during certain situations:
“…a combination of physical technique and psychological security were absolutely necessary in order for a woman to have ejaculatory orgasms.”
Mr. Leonardi may be onto something, and it may explain — in part — why studies of female ejaculation have failed.
But where researchers haven’t been able to pinpoint exactly why this situation occurs, we can conclude based on personal and professional experience that some women definitely do ejaculate; and almost all of the time it is when they feel exceptionally comfortable, relaxed, safe and emotionally bonded to their partner.
What follows are some of my clients’ experiences with female ejaculation.
For those who follow either Tantra or Taoist belief systems, you’re probably familiar with the idea that orgasms are life force, and that all women can bring forth a sacred release in the form of female ejaculation.
Francesca Cabello Santamaria, mentioned earlier, has researched this phenomena at length, and she’s found information that indicates all women ejaculate but the amount can vary anywhere from a few drops to a cup of fluid.
As well, some women’s internal muscles just aren’t strong enough to propel fluid to squirt, so some just dribble out their ejaculate, which would explain the infamous wet spot after sex.
A small group of women were studied in 1988 by sex researchers (Zaviacic et. al.) who found that 20% of the female participants ejaculated within 90 seconds of first stimuli, well before orgasm occurred, while 50% would ejaculate between the four and eight minute marks, also prior to orgasm.
The remaining 30% had an orgasm and ejaculated at the same time, somewhere between ten and fifteen minutes after the clitoral stimulation began.
There’s also a lot of debate as to how much ejaculate a woman can expel.
According to several well-known sex researchers such as Beverly Whipple, the volume of female ejaculate is around the same as a man’s: a drop or two to a teaspoonful, on average.
Yet I’ve heard of and witnessed women who were able to completely douse their partners with their ejaculate, so there are obviously some wide variations in amounts.
For example, some of my clients have reported:
“After she was done, there was an enormous wet spot on the bed. When we changed the sheets, they were actually dripping. Weird thing was, it didn’t smell at all.”
“It depends on the day; some days she might gush, other days its more like a trickle. I love it when she’s on top of me and there’s this warmth oozing down my leg and onto my balls… I know she’s had a great orgasm when that happens. Changing the sheets is necessary after, but its so worth it!”
“It kinda looked like milk when it erupted out of her. It left a stripe of a wet spot that started around her knees and ended at the foot of the bed.”
“She usually ejaculates about a cup of fluid, but the first time it was more like double that.”
“After week one of G-Spot orgasms, we bought a special plastic liner for our bed. Otherwise, we were going to ruin the mattress with the constant dousing her orgasms were giving it. Even if we changed the sheets, the actual bed was still drenched too.”
“I wish that I could spurt as much as she does when she has a G-Spot orgasm!”
When Tom Leonardi interviewed people for his book Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, several of the respondents claimed they witnessed copious amounts of female ejaculate, and he detailed many of their stories.
At one point, Leonardi claimed that women can ooze their fluids and have it run down their buttocks, but for the most part the ejaculate will forcefully leave their bodies, “2, 4, 8, even 12 or more inchesfrom her.”
So how can these recounts differ so greatly?
It’s entirely possible that people are merely miscalculating.
Liquid spreads, and in poorly lit-conditions it’s hard to tell just how much someone squirted by mere feel after the fact.
Sure, you’ll see a wet spot that seems to take up half the bed, but in reality one teaspoon of liquid can easily spread to several inches wide without a lot of trouble whatsoever.
Add to the fact that most of us are having sex on beds, where the materials are absorbent, and the size of the wet spot will double in size just because of how the material and liquids mix.
Some folks also believe that lack of bladder control or Urinary Stress Incontinence (USI) may be the culprit, as tests have shown that urine is sometimes (but not always) ejaculated alongside the fructose-based milky fluid we’ve been talking about.
But just like in men, where urinating and ejaculating are impossible at the same time, theorists are starting to believe the same holds true for women.
Still, this doesn’t take into account the 30% of women who ejaculate prior to orgasm.
Thankfully, researchers have been able to prove that ejaculation isn’t a myth at all; at one point in time, women who ejaculated were referred to specialists and asked to undergo painful surgery.
At least now, it’s a bit easier to explain to people that these women aren’t urinating, but rather, releasing some sort of sexual fluid also called as squirting that can be compared to male ejaculate.
These advances in research are mostly due to the folks listed in the Bibliography of Hot Licks.
Ok, ok…so the boring formal part where I tell you all about scientific research is over.
Now let’s move to what you actually wanted to know: the handy work!
Let me warn you though: there are only certain circumstances where you should use this technique:
• If you’ve given her oral sex already for more than twenty minutes;
• If she’s had more than one orgasm; or
• If you’ve been having sex for a prolonged period of time.
Even though you’ve been playing for a while, your partner may still require some lubrication, so have some water-based lube on hand before starting.
Ask your lover to get down on her knees, with her body upright.
Face her and put your two middle fingers inside her vagina with your palm facing upward.
You should be able to feel her G-Spot easily if she’s really aroused; if so, then it’s time to try out this manual technique to see if you can get her to ejaculate:
1. Use either the Come Here, Vibrate or Pulse strokes. She should already be excited before you try this; if she’s not she’ll likely be uncomfortable and will say something.
2. Firmly caress her G-Spot so that it feels like you are trying to pull it out of her. You don’t want to hurt her, but at the same time the pressure needs to be firm for this technique to work.
Keep the motion rhythmic and strong, and move your hand towards your body with each stroke.
3. Start slowly, then gently move faster and faster until it feels like you’re moving at a frenzied pace.
4. Keep on fingering her in this manner until she asks you to stop, is in pain, or ejaculates.
For women who don’t find bliss with this manual technique, it’s usually because the G-Spot hasn’t been stimulated enough — which can prove a problem for men who aren’t able to keep up the frenzied pulling pace for the necessary length of time.
If that’s the case, then the next section explains how to incorporate toys (namely, vibrators) into your oral sex repertoire so that you can give her the climax, and hopefully the ejaculation, you both long for.
Once you’ve started kissing your partner, you can try making her ejaculate as a step along the process of foreplay.
Since your partner won’t be very aroused by the time you start, you’ll want to have some lubricant handy.
The toy used in this explanation is a bullet-style vibrator.
1. Prep your partner first with lots of cuddling, kissing, massage and other related fun for at least ten minutes before moving on to the next steps.
She needs to be relaxed and blissful, so take whatever time you need to get her there.
2. Start going down on her. All you’re doing is priming her sexual organs for a lot of fun; be careful though, you don’t want her to orgasm or get close to the pre-orgasm stage yet.
3. Grab the bullet-style vibrator while you’re licking her, and turn it on to a medium-speed vibration.
Use the vibrator like you would use a finger, exploring the crevices and folds of her vulva. Don’t forget the Front Commissure, Frenulum or Perineum.
Take about five minutes in this step and see how she reacts, what she likes and what doesn’t get her excited.
4. Push the vibrator inside her, making sure to put it near her Clitoral Network, and then leave it there.
You want to give her the sensation of something vibrating inside of her for now without making her orgasm, so there’s no need to play with it for the time being.
If you want, and if you feel like she’ll enjoy it, you can turn the vibrator up to high speed.
5. Continue to lick and please her using the oral sex techniques already described.
Leave the vibrator inside of her. If she has an orgasm that’s okay, but it’s not your goal for now.
Instead, you’re trying to sensitize her Clitoral Network to prep for an amazing ejaculation.
6. Once you’ve played with her for about another five minutes, remove the vibrator and place it on her Clitoral Head.
Use your hand now to play with her G-Spot using the “Come Here” stroke.
7. At this point, she should be very close to orgasm if she hasn’t already climaxed. That’s okay — just keep on going unless she begs you to stop.
Continue to use your fingers in a pumping motion with the Come Here stroke, but when you feel her orgasm’s about to burst forth, remove your fingers as quickly as possible.
This is simply because you’ll want room for her urethra to shoot out ejaculate, and with your hands in there it may stay inside or dribble out instead.
If she doesn’t ejaculate, put your fingers back inside of her and try again for another thirty to sixty seconds, then repeat.
8. If you want to really get her crazy with lust — and if she’s open to the idea — grab another bullet-style vibrator, apply some lubricant, and slowly tap her Anus with it.
There are some women who don’t ejaculate, or don’t ejaculate in a large whoosh of fluid — just like some men.
Others ejaculate all the time without any of the techniques used in this series.
Therefore, your focus should be on giving your partner pleasure instead of focusing on whether or not she squirts when she cums.
Having said that, female ejaculation is something that a woman has to be absolutely comfortable with if she hasn’t before, or hasn’t regularly in the past.
It does get easier after the first time, so it’s really all about jumping that first hurdle.
If female ejaculation is something important to either one or both of you, here are some tips to try out and see if they affect your results.
Many times, it’s a scary thing for a woman to ejaculate.
She may have on her own, but perhaps she’s worried about how you’ll react or she’s had another partner not fond of the experience.
No matter what her past experiences though, she’ll need to feel extremely comfortable with you in order to ejaculate.
She can’t control what happens, and it might not be what you want, expect, or find arousing.
If you can assure her that this is something important and hot to you, you’ve mastered the first hurdle.
It’s common for a woman to think that instead of ejaculating, she’s about to pee.
She could get to the point where she’ll spurt but then yell out, “Wait! Stop!” and run off to the bathroom.
If this happens, try stopping her and reminding her that you’re trying to make her ejaculate, and it’s normal to have that feeling just before she releases.
Suggest she lies back and relaxes while you do the work, and if she feels the need to urinate, just push as if she was doing a reverse Kegel — so instead of holding it in, she’s pushing it out.
She may not have had enough G-Spot time to actually ejaculate yet.
Some women find that they only ejaculate after prolonged G-Spot play, or after lengthy intercourse in certain positions.
So if she doesn’t seem to ejaculate after all of the advice given, then perhaps try during a marathon session where she’s already orgasmed a few times, and has received a lot of G-Spot stimulation in other ways.
My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!