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When it comes to foreplay men don’t want it like women.
Most men can get an erection just from thinking about sex, but women aren’t usually physically aroused as easily for a number of reasons, including emotional and physical factors.
Although it can be fun to skip right to the good stuff from time to time, the majority of your sexual experiences together should involve a lot of buildup through foreplay before the main event.
Foreplay not only readies the body for sex, but also prepares and seduces the emotional part of a woman’s mind.
Most women like to be held and kissed, hugged and caressed, before they are comfortable allowing their partners to progress to more involved forms of sexual play.
By taking the time for foreplay and making the effort to engage her emotionally, she’ll be more receptive to your caresses, both manual and oral.
“Foreplay is crucial for great sex. It’s not just an old wives’ tale that foreplay is something that people should spend more time doing,” says Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, Bloomington.
Scientifically speaking, the purpose of foreplay is to ready a woman’s body for intercourse and climax.
The most obvious result of good foreplay is lubrication; without the arousal necessary to produce natural lubrication in a woman, she may remain dry during sex, even oral sex.
According to noted psychosexual therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, EdD, “It’s particularly important for women to have successful foreplay because it takes a woman a longer time to get up to the level of arousal needed to orgasm.”
In other words, her body cycles up more slowly than your own, so you’ll need to take more time getting her turned on.
A few kisses, although nice, won’t do the job; you’ll want to explore her erogenous zones thoroughly, as I’ll share with you in the next section of this amazing guide on foreplay tips.
Although stimulating a woman’s erogenous zones is an important aspect of any kind of intimate experience, it’s especially important when making love to a woman.
It can be difficult for women to relax enough that they feel comfortable sitting back and letting her partner take over orally, so it’s critical that you do everything you can to help her feel comfortable.
Prepping her properly with foreplay will help her connect her mind and body, enabling her to feel a deeper and more powerful climax when the time comes.
Correctly stimulating her erogenous zones can make the difference between a pleasurable and a mind-blowing foreplay and sexual experience.
Women’s bodies differ greatly, so only you and your partner will know what truly pleases her.
Experiment with different kinds of stimulation to the erogenous zones below, using a combination of touching, kissing and licking
A woman’s skin is the largest organ on her body, and it can often be the most sensitive, especially to light caressing.
Think about how excited she gets when you kiss her neck or nibble on her earlobes, and then imagine what she might do when you stimulate other sensitive areas of her skin!
See how she responds when you gently stroke one of these often-ignored erogenous zones:
As you touch her, pay attention to her physical response.
Is she sighing or moaning? Is she writhing about and breathing heavily?
If so, then keep doing what you’re doing, because it’s really working for her.
If she’s totally silent or still, or if she looks like she might start giggling as if being tickled, then try something else.
Although some women enjoy having their breasts caressed and squeezed, most of the time her nipples are the most sensitive part of this erogenous zone.
Stimulate the area around her nipples with a light touch until her nipples harden, and then focus on stimulating them with your fingers and tongue.
Your partner might enjoy anything from soft caress to firm biting. Work up to rougher forms of play, watching your partner’s physical response before taking things further.
Most people cite the clitoris as the most sensitive and powerful erogenous zone on a woman’s body— and for good reason!
The vast majority of women need clitoral stimulation of some kind to climax, whether it’s oral or manual touch.
Although the vagina is certainly an erogenous zone, it shouldn’t be the first stop on your foreplay journey.
The majority of women need a lot more foreplay before you head south.
Instead of focusing on her vaginal passage at the beginning of foreplay, use your tongue and fingers to stimulate the area around it, especially her labia.
Once she’s aroused, you can add elements that involve penetration.
Located on the upper inside wall of her vaginal passage, the G spot is a sensitive area that responds to pressure and direct stimulation.
The same types of light teasing won’t work with the G spot, so when adding G spot stimulation to oral play, you’ll need to use your fingers or a sex toy.
Even though the anus is comprised of sensitive nerve endings that respond well to the right kind of touch, anal stimulation is still considered off-limits by many women.
If you’d like to incorporate anal play into oral sex, talk to your partner first to make sure she’s open to the idea, and then begin with gentle touching and caressing.
Before you begin to touch her, make sure you’ve stimulated her most important erogenous zone, her brain.
If she’s not in the mood, then she’s not going to be comfortable receiving oral sex.
Create a romantic atmosphere with conversation, candles and music, and then try stimulating her physical erogenous zones before moving on to penetrative sex.
When it comes to oral sex the very first thing you need to do is make sure she’s comfortable first before oral sex.
Even though it might seem like a no-brainer—who doesn’t get in the mood for oral sex?—she might tell you she is not enjoying. And she’s not alone.
According to a reader survey conducted by MSNBC.com and Elle magazine, of the 77,895 men and women who responded, four in 10 men said they rarely or never give oral sex.
Of the reasons given for the low percentage, 58% of men said that their partner didn’t enjoy receiving oral sex.
In that same survey, 20% of women revealed that they weren’t comfortable enough with their genitals to consider receiving oral sex.
Here are a few reasons why women might not enjoy oral sex and what you can do to help.
The main reason she might be reluctant to receive oral sex is her very real concern about how she tastes and smells.
The best thing that you can do is reassure her that she’s beautiful and tastes and smells just fine.
If there is a problem, take a shower together before you give her oral so that both of you are squeaky clean. She might also consider using an external feminine wash.
Some women can’t handle much direct stimulation to their clitorises, especially the oral kind.
If your partner falls into this category, focus more on the other parts of her sexual anatomy, saving clitoral stimulation for last.
Not every woman is “clitoral,” meaning that some prefer penetration and might not feel much pleasure from the relatively gentle touch of oral sex.
Although you’ll want to make sure to involve her clitoris at some point, focus your attention on her vagina and g-spot, penetrating her with your tongue to bring her to climax.
Just as some women have difficulty reaching orgasm during regular intercourse, others might not climax from oral sex alone.
She might be concerned that all your effort could be in vain. Reassure her that the experience is about the pleasurable journey, not any kind of destination.
Although some lucky women reach climax quickly, most need a lot more time, especially with oral sex.
She might think you’re unhappy because she needs more time to achieve orgasm, or she simply might not find a full oral experience to be worth the time and effort.
Aside from reassuring her that you want to give her as much pleasure as possible, a simple solution to this problem is to incorporate oral sex into other forms of erotic play instead of making it the focus.
What feels good to one woman might do nothing for another, so it’s entirely possible that she just doesn’t like oral sex.
However, it’s most likely that if your partner is reluctant to receive cunnilingus, it’s because of one or more of the reasons listed above.
One of the best things about foreplay is that you never know what’s going to happen.
At the very least, it’ll feel good for her. Ideally, she’ll have a nice orgasm.
However, it’s entirely possible to take things even further, culminating with multiple orgasms or female ejaculation.
Although there’s no guarantee that your partner will experience either pleasure, as your oral skills improve, so will the likelihood of her ejaculating or orgasming more than once.
Now that you have a better understanding of how to use foreplay to pleasure a woman, it’s time to put that knowledge to use.
I will stop here. If you loved reading this amazing guide on foreplay tips to blow her mind you’ll also enjoy watching this powerful video presentation below.
My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!