How to text a girl you like? The girl who just sees you as “a friend.” The girl in your social circle. The girl who got away.
What do all those girls have in common (aside from you not being able to sleep with them)?
They’re all examples of girls you need to “renegotiate” the terms of your relationship with.
Forgive me for using legal jargon, but it’s appropriate in this context.
Just like when one person wants to renegotiate a contract with another person, the same holds true for you when it comes to texting a girl you like.
Renegotiating the “terms” of a relationship with a woman begins with changing your communication pattern with her.
The foundation of any relationship is communication, and so if you tweak that then you can alter how she perceives you...
In this article you’ll learn the secret art of texting a girl you like by creating an irresistible conversation with her.
I urge you to read this article till the end because it’s like a story telling and trust me guys you’ll just love it.
So, if you are with me let’s learn how to text a girl you like.
#1 Create an “event” that Puts You In the “DrIver’s seat”
The first step in altering how she perceives is by getting her emotional (per the Keylock Sequence).
However, you also should have some “forward momentum” in your text, which means you should ALREADY be progressing things forward.
This makes sense since you already know her, so the standard “Keylock Sequence” (which is intended for new girls) might be overkill in your situation.
For me, here’s how I love to kickoff “The Magnetic Effect”:
Hey girl, let’s make a party pact right now. . .
Notice nothing in that text “rocks the boat” too much. I purposely call her “girl” to keep it somewhat flirty—but not too much.
Also, by suggesting she and I “make a party pact” I’m assuming that we’re going to a party together (even though I NEVER mentioned a party before).
Most likely her response will either be confused or curious. She’ll either say, “What party?” or “Okay…what is it?” or possibly even, “Do you have the right person?”
No matter how she responds it’s crucial that you DON’T tell her what the “party pact” is…you simply want to keep her in suspense.
And that’s what texting a girl is all about. Thus, you CAN text something like:
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Actually. . . party pact can only be experienced over colorful drinks with twisty straws!
All I’m trying to do is be playful and flirting texting conversation with that girl. I’m not looking to set off any “alarms” or do anything too bold.
A little humor and suggestiveness goes a long way in these situations! Usually she’ll respond to this with something like, “lol okay…?” or “sounds fun!”
Here’s where you want to ramp up your assertiveness. Much of the reason you don’t like the “terms” of your relationship with this girl is because you lacked assertiveness in the first place.
Therefore, it’s VERY IMPORTANT you slowly habituate her into seeing you as the leader.
Therefore, NO MATTER HOW she responds to your text, you need to playfully disagree with her!
Something along the lines of this:
Kidding. Colorful drinks + Twisty straws = not really my style. But party pack is really details forthcoming.
Even though it may look like I’m just joking about a “party pact,” I’m really doing something very specific: getting her accustomed to following my lead.
Notice how I lead this texting conversation in a very subtle and “fun” way.
Telling her we’re going to create a “party pact,” then telling her how I’m going to reveal said pact, and then telling her I was “kidding.” It’s all about changing direction when it comes to texting a girl, and having her try and keep up.
Now, you don’t need to text women about a “party pact,” though you should text something that sets you up to dictate the direction of communication (an “event”).
Put yourself in a position to lead! Get her in the habit of following YOU. It’s your pace, your terms.
#2. Cards on the table.
Wait a day or two after your flirty exchange of conversation. Even though you may want to text her during that time, fight the temptation.
It’ll be good for you to develop some patience and look at the bigger picture. Once some time has passed, it’s time to establish the new parameters of your relationship.
Please note: she probably will NOT go for these parameters. The point isn’t to tell her you “like” her…you simply want to make her AWARE of the new parameters.
As with everything you do in text game, make sure to keep it playful and borderline joking. This will keep things from getting awkward or weird.
Usually I’ll begin the interaction by throwing out a “holding pattern” text (from Magnetic Messaging). For example:
Thought I just drove past you riding a bike lol I was damn! Then I was like wait, is that Jess? Then I was like no, that’s NOT Jess, then I wrote this text
Lol Hope you’re well!
I like this text because it’s a quirky “day-in-the-life”-style Holding Pattern message, but also serves another crucial purpose: it foreshadows what you’re going to say next (without coming out and saying it).
As long as she responds, use what she says next to keep the momentum going. HOWEVER, if she does NOT respond, DO NOTHING.
Remember: this text is “testing the waters.” You’re halfway hitting on her by saying you saw someone who “looked like her,” and made you say “damn!”
This leaves you with plenty of plausible deniability if she’s not into the idea of you hitting on her.
To be honest though, if she doesn’t respond then you probably need to do more in-person work with her before attempting this “Magnetic Effect” pattern.
If she DOES respond though, you’re sitting real pretty. Since you “sort of” already hit on her, now it’s time to ACTUALLY hit on her! Usually I’ll begin by “riffing” off her response to my “thought I saw you on a bike” text.
Even if she says something as simple as “lol!” I’ll use that to complement her and then go right into one of my favorite texts for throwing my “cards on the table.” Here’s how:
But who could impersonate you?? You’re such a special snowflake…A special snowflake I wouldn’t mind making out with.
See how that works? You’re being bold…yet humorous. It’s the PERFECT way to throw your cards on the table.
Now, remember what I said earlier: you’re not looking for her to jump all over this, or even respond. In fact, chances are: she won’t!
The reason you’re doing this isn’t to sweep her off her feet… yet. You’re establishing the NEW parameters of your relationship.
She may even write back, “What?! I don’t think of you in that way!” or something else negative. Doesn’t matter. The idea has been planted in her head!
The inception has begun…
Now that you’ve made your intentions clear, give her a day to let the idea sink in. Don’t wait too long because you want to keep the momentum going in your favor.
Though, you also want to keep her on her toes. Keep her guessing. That’s why it’s such a perfect time to thrown her a curve.
Now whatever you’re thinking I’m going to tell you to do, you’re wrong! Probably you think “throwing a curve” means trying to get her jealous or playing hard to get suddenly. But keep in mind: that’s exactly what she’s thinking, too!
Thus, if you “threw her a curve” in the traditional sense, then it would be too transparent, obvious, and thus ineffective.
You need to think strategically…you need to think “how can I do something she’s NEVER expect…?”
Here’s how I do it:
If we order a Pizza & I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Wait about 15 minutes, and then:
Lol obviously sent to the wrong person.
Basically you want to “accidently” send her a text that isn’t bragging or weird. It’s just sort of funny and random. That’ll throw her the perfect curve that’ll get her head spinning!
#3. Complete the cycle.
Now wait a FEW days! Don’t rush this last piece… or else all the good work you’ve already put in will be for naught! Be patient here and resist the urge to text her.
If she texts you in this time, respond with pure minimalism (unless of course it seems like she’s coming onto you…obviously use your judgment!).
After a few days has passed, it’s time to “complete the cycle” and release the tension you created with your “create an event” text.
Most important, it’s time to set up a meeting between you and your girl that will put you in a one-on-one situation with her.
Here’s how I do it:
Dear me: Drinking & being awesome tonight, saint’s & Sinner’s lounge, 9pm sharp, love, your life.
And you should come and join me. We have a party pact to discuss girl!
Boom. From there, if she accepts, you’re now on different footing with her. She now knows your intentions. If she agrees, then you’re in a position to “renegotiate” the terms of your relationship.
Of course, this is only a start, and you need to STEP UP when you get her out and make a move.
Good luck! And be sure to email me with any success stories!
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on......and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other......My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other.And we’re just getting started!
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