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How To Keep Your Man Happy and Ensure The Idea of Commitment Doesn’t Scare Him Off. So, do you ever feel like you are clueless as to how you can calm his phobia of commitment?
Do you ever wonder what it will take to keep him in love and be a happy couple even if it’s forever?
This is a very common sentiment amongst women, and I see it all the time. Women who really love their men just aren’t sure how to keep their man happy.
It’s a commitment to keep your man happy now and into the future. It’s not always easy and quite honestly it can feel like it takes everything out of you.
It also depends heavily on the point of view that your man is coming from.
If he’s truly afraid of commitment based on something in his past, then your job will be much bigger than you think.
#1 You Have To Really Want To Help Him and Not Just Fake Your Way Though It.
This shouldn’t be a fake thing—I can tell you that if you try to calm his fears and you don’t really mean it, he will be able to tell!
This should be you being honest with him, being supportive, and helping him by understanding him what is going on within his mind.
This is you helping him to see that you care deeply and that you are always going to be the same person, no matter what. If he sees that he will start to take notice.
It’s not always easy and I can tell you from my experiences that some women just don’t possess this skill to do it naturally.
Some women are so caught up in moving forward with the relationship, that they don’t take time to really understand what is going on with their man.
They are so ready to move on that they don’t care if he’s not.
This is not a mindset or a philosophy that is going to lead to a long or happy future!
If you want him to move forward and get past his fear of commitment then you need to be there to help him through.
Sometimes helping him to uncover what exactly makes him so fearful is all it takes.
If he can see that you care and love him and that you’re not just one of those women pushing for commitment just for the sake of getting married, he will be pretty receptive.
I know the type of woman, and you probably do too, that simply wants to cross marriage off the checklist.
She’s not even necessarily that into this guy, but just the idea of being with someone forever.
You know this woman, though hopefully you aren’t her in real life!
This woman has been through many bad breakups and has some serious trust issues as a result.
She is also the type of woman that pushes her man to commit well before he is ready which turns him off.
I am here to tell you that this is not a woman that will get commitment! Even if he does commit to her, there will be infidelity or a serious breakup at some point in time.
If you truly want to learn how to keep a man happy than be a sincere woman who really cares about her man.
I try to explain this to women and some are eager to try to be there for their man.
The ones that laugh this off or quickly move past it indicate to me that they are not really into this guy, but what he represents.
So dig deep and figure out WHY you want a commitment from this guy.
Then you can really help him to see that his fears are unfounded and you are there to be with him every step of the way—and that you will always be the same person at the core!
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#2 Talk Through His Fears and Be There to Move Forward Together.
I remember it clear as day—talking to some friends of mine who were in a long term relationship that seemed pretty great.
These weren’t clients but rather important people in my life, and so I guess that I didn’t see some of the signs.
He had been a friend of mine for a long time and I thought that she was a pretty good girl for him. From the outside everything seemed great and I was truly happy for them.
He pulled me aside one day to tell me that he had some doubts. He wasn’t so sure about moving forward, and really he wasn’t so sure about HER at all.
I couldn’t believe it, and I couldn’t believe that I didn’t notice some of the signs that he mentioned.
He tried to tell her that he was scared of the big commitment and she brushed him off.
He thought it was a fluke and so he tried to confront her again, telling her that he was afraid that she would change or that their relationship would change.
She told him to “toughen up” and sort of laughed off his fears, telling him that he would lose her if he didn’t step up.
The bottom line was she wanted the ring and he needed to figure out how to get it to her!
This is not the type of woman that is really interested in the man, but rather the idea of being married.
She didn’t take into account the fact that he came from divorced parents or that there were legitimate reasons behind his fears.
This was not a man that was just stalling, but rather who needed a woman to support him and talk him through his fears. Needless to say she was not the one!
So if you happen to be the woman that has a man with fears of committing or moving forward, you might want to consider the source.
It’s very easy to assume that he just doesn’t want to get married and he is not ready for marriage, but there may be something beneath the surface.
So try to give your man the benefit of the doubt and consider what may be causing his uncertainty. This is an important if you really want to keep your man happy.
#3 Dig Deep and Figure Out What’s Going On.
Some men truly don’t want to move on out of the fear of being committed forever and some just need help in sorting things out.
I am here to tell you that it’s well worth it to get the heart of the issue.
Here are some things to keep in mind as you dig for what is causing him stress and keeping the two of you from moving on.
Trust me, these really can work!
#1. Show him that you are and always will be the same person: If he sees that you are always going to be the same person that will provide a great deal of comfort.
#2. He needs to know that you will always be the same funny, sweet, caring, loving woman that he fell in love with.
#3. Show him this through reassurance and point to how the relationship has grown over time. Sometimes just point this out can speak volumes!
#4. If you can demonstrate how you are the same person now that you always have been, and that this will not change over time and life circumstances, that will let him breathe a sigh of relief.
#5. Talk through his concerns and find ways to reassure him that are realistic: Try to understand what’s going on in his mind and what’s causing him to feel uncertain.
#6. Try to get a true and genuine understanding of what causes him distress or what makes him feel anxiety about relationships in general.
#7. Understand if it’s a bad past relationship, family circumstance, friend in a bad marriage, or what other scenario may cause him to feel apprehension.
#8. Taking the time to do this is what separates a caring woman from one who just wants commitment for the sake of commitment.
#9. Reassure him, take the time to show you care, and it may lead to the path that you are really interested in with him.
#10. Care and support will really reach out to him and connect you in a whole new ways!
#11. Let him know that you can both still be the same people: This is a tough one for some women from my experience—but a very important point for most men to understand!
#12. He needs to know that you are not both going to turn into totally different people.
Bottom line, he needs to know that you can both still have a few things that are separate and independent of each other.
If he can understand that you are a couple but you can both be individuals, this will be huge.
I’ve seen it time and time again where a couple starts dating and they both are so into each other that they just about give up everything that they were before.
A huge mistake from everything I’ve seen undoubtedly!
Here’s the thing—you can be happy together and yet share separate interests.
If he is into snowboarding and you don’t like going out into the cold at all, then it’s okay for him to still enjoy it.
If you still love going out for a glass of wine with just the girls, keep this tradition alive and well.
He needs to see that though you put each other first, there are other things in life.
This is a big concern for many men as they worry that their days of going to a sporting event with friends is over.
Sure you are bound to spend more time with each other than with anybody else, but you can still be who you are.
You are still allowed and encouraged to do some things separately.
It’s healthy, it’s natural, and it’s highly recommended that you keep your own friends and do some things on your own.
It won’t ruin your relationship but rather strengthen your bond and affection for each other.
So show him that life will still go on, albeit change a bit, and that the two of you are a couple that can still enjoy life even through a commitment!
Be patient and don’t pressure him into commitment—it will backfire: If you try to push him for a commitment before he’s ready for it, then it will almost always backfire.
I’ve seen the woman who gives an ultimatum, I’ve seen the woman who tries to hint about getting married, and I’ve seen the woman get downright mad that he won’t move along.
Though it may be frustrating to you, I can tell you with absolute certainty that if you don’t take the time to understand his hesitations that you are going to be even more frustrated.
You need to talk to him and sometimes just be patient because pressuring him into commitment will not make for a “happily ever after story book ending”.
Sure there’s a fine line between a man stalling and one who is truly apprehensive. So figure out the difference and know your own limits.
Do take the time to try to talk to him and to be patient with him and I promise that it will usually work in your favor.
You may feel frustrated but if he’s the right one it’s worth the wait.
Don’t wait forever, but do wait long enough for him to see that a relationship forever doesn’t have to be something to fear.
Give him good examples of good marriages or healthy marriages: He needs to see that in spite of his fears there are couples out there who are actually happy and committed.
He may come from a broken home or seen many friends change who they were when they got married. You have to point out the positive examples and figure out how to get to the heart of the issue.
Point out what works for great couples that you see and remind him that you could be the same way.
Try to even work through common issues and discuss the way that you want things to work in advance.
Being in tune to his thoughts and fears and then pointing out real life examples that show him that life can be good after commitment is a wonderful thing for both of you!
This may sound silly as I have recommended it to many couples through the years at this crossroads, but it really and truly works.
If you want to get him to appreciate and move forward with commitment, then talk to him, be there for him, and make it work TOGETHER and all this together will help you to keep your man happy.
I will stop here. I believe you loved reading this article on how to keep your man happy.
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on......and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other......My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other.And we’re just getting started!
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