Don't you feel strange even after being in love and living together for some time why people get separated or divorced. Lets find out some common but serious reasons why marriages fail.
Why marriages fail when we all know that we get married to have a healthy relationship?
Why in the beginning of our married life, we love each other madly and have awesome sex life too, what goes so wrong that a lovely and beautiful marital relationship arrives at the extreme point of no return, failure and end in divorce.
In spite of so much love between married couples divorce statistics says that 60 percent of marriages fail due to lack of trust and true love towards one another. Is finding true love that hard or there is something wrong within us?
The only reason I believe is we don’t allow the love in our hearts to grow into something truly amazing.
Let’s find out some of the top reasons in this post why marriages fail?
1. Being Selfish
Why do people get married? Do they get married to hurt each other or they really want to be together.
Let's find out in order to produce a great marriage both the partner’s needs to share the responsibility of satisfying emotional needs equally.
In most marriages one partner tries to fulfill every little demands of the other partner. On the other hand the other partner responds only when something concerns to them.
It keeps the person unloved and unsatisfied. Continuous ignorance over time shows the selfish attitude of the dominant partner where they meet their own needs first but neglect when it’s their turn to share the same love and affection.
This kind of selfish attitude creates lack of consideration and respect in the neglected partner’s mind and it is one of the top reasons why marriages fail.
2. Clash of Ego
In today’s generation most married couples are working and they are totally independent. Living independent is good but if you are too independent it takes away the love and connection from married life.
There comes the ego problem no partner wants to have any expectations from the other one. Today’s marriage is based on finance and not love the more you earn the more is the level of ego.
If you have headache you take medicine and you may not feel the pain anymore. But the reason behind the headache still exists, what I want to say is ego only kills your marriage.
When you are in marriage you have to work on your problems mutually to solve them. The goal should be to grow together irrespective of your earnings.
It doesn’t matter who earns more money and who earns less what matters is to experience true love by killing our ego and taking the marriage to the next level.
3. Dead Emotional Intimacy
Marriage is connection between two individuals who come close to one another to share those intimate sexual and emotional feelings which you cannot share with someone else.
What’s the use of such a marriage were emotional intimacy is dead and lost. It’s like two people living separate lives without sharing each other’s thoughts, no words to speak, no emotions to feel, no gestures to show, no love and no care.
We don’t get married to find a roommate we get married to get connected. Pursue each other’s interest, hobbies and listen to each other’s thoughts in order to build true emotional intimacy.
The lack of involvement between couples is again of the serious reasons why marriages fail.
4. Dead Sexual Intimacy
When you don’t remember when was the last time you had sex with your partner than it’s really a signs of a failing relationship.
It’s fine we all live a busy life still you need to take some time out of your busy schedule to entertain one another.
The more you spend good time together the more you feel connected. Same goes with sex the more you do is the more you want.
But if you are having sexually unsatisfying marriage and not having regular sex with your partner than automatically the body reduces the production of sex related hormones.
Though you share common bed but hardly intersect each other as a couple which is clear signs and serious reasons why marriages fail.
5. Its all your fault
One of the most common relationship problems why marriages fail is because instead of trying to find solution and fix things with mutual understanding.
We try to stretch them like a rubber without knowing the limits how much to stretch. When you don’t know the limits obviously it would break.
In marriage too we try to blame the other person in spite of finding solution to the problem. Married life requires two people to work on their behavior and communication skills to fix relationship problems.
It’s not only how good you are in finding a solution, but it’s also about finding a solution without blaming and hurting the sentiments of the other partner by making them feel good and positive.
6. Abusive Marriage
Not respecting your partner is sign of emotionally unavailable partner. Abuse is not acceptable in any kind of relationship let it be marriage or anything.
Emotional abuse and physical abuse are two main reasons why marriages fail. Abuse creates negativity and fear making a person weak and helpless from inside.
Over a period of time continuous abusive cycle kills marriage and takes life out of it. Being in clutches of abusive relationship doesn’t allow you to enjoy sexual intimacy with your partner too.
It happens due to the continuous humiliation and ignorance over time in your marriage which is again a big and serious reason why marriages fail.
7. No Apology
You hurt your partner intentionally and you are not even bothered to apologize. It’s because you don’t care how they feel and it doesn’t matter to you.
Your partner says you hurt them, but you don’t find anything wrong in what you did. You see their faults in every little thing, you want them to change their attitude.
But in spite of doing so many mistakes and hurting them continuously you won’t change your attitude. This behavior of yours not only hurts your partner but also adds fuel to the fire.
It forces your relationship to move towards bitterness and agony which is again signs of a failing relationship.
8. Bad Addictions
Bad addictions like alcohol, drug and sex are again top reasons why marriages fail. Any kind of addiction can lead to conflicts in marriage.
Addiction only creates negative feelings, anger and destructive arguments between spouses. The addicted spouse gets involved so deeply with the addiction that they tend to make normal married life impossible to survive.
The effect of addiction on marriage can be very damaging as it not only effects the mental state and well being of the addicted person but also effects the family life including children.
Upbringing of Children’s in such unhealthy environment is not good for development of any family.
9. Poor Communication
When you talk of communication, I believe its not only good but right communication in the right direction is the base of a successful marriage.
In the real world there are many married couples where there's lot of love while they are in the bed. But they lack communication skills when they are off bed.
You know why because being in bed things are romantic and you are enjoying pleasure time. But true communication is understanding one another and keeping faith in tough times.
You yell, scream, and start raising your voice the moment you find something that is not as per your liking.
Its often common story and bad habits of most married couples that get them into trouble. Once a marriage gets on that unchannelled communication route, negativity, anger and doubt slowly starts to kill your married life.
10. Lack of Maturity in Daily Life
Note that the status of any relationship whether you are in a relationship as a couple or you are a married couple is defined by its daily activities.
Its how both the partners behave in day today life maturely or immaturely.
Remember that mature relationship is selfless whereas immature relationship is selfish, mature relationship in itself gives you a sense of security whereas immature relationship only provides insecurity.
Many a times we make immature decisions just for the sake of our own convenience.
But we forget to realize while taking that decision whether that decision is fruitful for the relationship or not. Now that's immaturity as far as I am concerned and this is again one of the top reasons why marriages fail.
11. Hurrying into Marriage
The feeling of being in love with someone forces many people to say I do and make very early decision without realizing the consequences.
What you forget while making decision is that saying that “I do” doesn't mean that the person “does”.
Believe me if this is your situation than you are not the first one. I have myself experienced many couples who lived together and dated for years, get into a mode of marriage.
They feel in their mind, in fact they assure their mind that its time to get married and rush into the actual marriage phase.
You get married enjoy the honey moon phase, everything feels and looks awesome. But guess what happens next, once the honeymoon phase gets over slowly the intimacy and love starts to fade away and you realize you have made the biggest blunder of your life.
The conclusion here is that real love can wait and marriage makes sense only when both are committed with total mind, body, heart and soul.
12. False and Weak Foundation
Marriage based on false and weak foundation can never stay long. Marriages that are built on lies, pretense and false intentions are bound to fail.
It happens in many marriages where one partner lies and make false promises and commitments, plays with the integrity and faith of the other partner.
Trust me guys when that false truth comes to light it destroys the happy home and whole marriage crumbles like a beautiful palace made with the sand.
13. Infidelity or Unfaithfulness in Marriage
This is one of the common and unhealthy trend that has ruined many beautiful relationships and home.
Its that one moment when you need to and you should have control on your senses but you fail. It is the worst thing that you can do to your spouse cheating on their back.
Both men and women should resist the temptation of falling in the clutches of their sexual urge.
Every couple needs to avoid a situation where you are on the brink of breaking your partners trust.
Note that I understand its not easy but you have to for the sake of your married life and believe me once you learn to control your sexual emotions nothing in this world can stop your marriage from flourishing.
But the right decision has to come from your end how you can control and avoid that one moment.
These are some of the stages of marriage that proves why marriages succeed to fail.
But in order to survive a failing marriage it takes two different individuals to genuinely couple up to get married and support one another to keep your relationship strong and healthy.
It’s very easy but first you both need to ask each other a simple question what do you want?
Do you want this marriage to survive? If yes than nothing in this world can stop you from having the best married life.
Few simple tips would really help like big smile, sweet hug, gentle cuddle, little romance, genuine appreciation, have hot sex sessions, spend loving time together at least twice in a week, cherish old memories, go on date once in every fortnight, keep trust, believe in forgiving and fighting or blaming and you are done.
I don’t think you require anything more than this to survive your married life. Good Luck and God Bless.....
I hope you found the post on why marriages fail useful. If you really liked it please comment and share.
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