Love is a beautiful thing and is one of the greatest forces that unite humans. People even go to unbelievable extents because of love. You may share your love with your friends and family, but this blog will focus on a different type of love; the one you share with your significant other.
Getting married is something that most people desire. So, if you’ve been lucky to find and marry someone with whom you share genuine love, strive as much as you can to keep them. It’s easy to take each other for granted after staying together for a couple of years, but don’t allow it.
It would be best if you were open to learning more ways to be a better lover to keep your love alive. This will help maintain respect and keep your relationship as thrilling as when you first began.
Here are some exciting ways to spice up your married life:
1. Try Out New Things
After staying together for a while, you may know each other well to a point where you feel like there’s nothing more interesting to learn about your spouse. However, you need to understand that you can never know anyone fully. Human beings are complicated, and understanding them entirely isn’t possible.
So, to spice up your marriage and to create an opportunity to learn more about your partner, you can try doing new and exciting things together. Examples of these activities include:
- Going for a road trip, a hike, weekend getaway, or any other adventure
- Playing games together
- Having movie nights
- Attending concerts and events together
- Going to couples’ seminars to get more insight
- Having a walk once or twice in the evening after work
- Exploring new hobbies together
In short, you should find something new and interesting that you’ll explore together to help create a stronger bond between you two. The more you interact and spend quality time together, the closer you become. Over time, you’ll be able to understand each other better. Additionally, it would be best to try making your partner your best friend.
2. Don’t Be Boring; Try Flirting
One thing you need to realize, even after getting married, is that this is still your partner. Whether you have kids or the number of years you’ve stayed together doesn’t matter. Therefore, you must be both verbally and physically flirty. Here are a few ways to do it:
- Calling your partner some pet names
- Staring at them from time to time
- Winking at your spouse at an unexpected time and place
- Sending flirty texts like ‘I miss you like crazy
- Leaving cute sticky notes with words like ‘I love you for each other
- Being touchy (e.g., caressing each other as you watch the television)
- Stealing a kiss randomly
- Tickling each other
- Holding your wife’s waist while you’re walking
- Sending a love letter to your partner
These and other flirty means will help spice up your marriage life.
3. Have Candlelit Dinners
A candle-lit dinner doesn’t have to be at a restaurant or hotel. You can improvise and hold it at your home, especially if you have small kids. One way to do this is to hire a chef to cook for you as you set up the dining area with decorations like fresh petals, balloons, and candles.
You wouldn’t want to have a romantic dinner with any interruptions. Thus, if you have kids, ensure that you put them to sleep before your dinner date begins or send them to another room so that you have an intimate moment with your partner. While having dinner, you can have some soft music playing in the background, light candles, and enjoy the moment.
Once your kids grow older, you can go out on date nights once in a while to remind yourself of the days that you started seeing each other.
4. Understand Your Partner’s Love Language
One thing that you’ll discover after getting to know your partner for a while is that the things that make them feel loved may be different from what makes you feel loved and appreciated. There are five types of love languages:
- Physical Touch: This involves expressing love through touch, holding hands, or any physical closeness.
- Acts Of Service: You may do this by helping your partner with something you know they prefer not to do, like taking the garbage out.
- Spending Quality Time: This is ideally giving your partner full attention whenever you’re with them.
- Gifts: This involves offering a tangible or physical token of love and appreciation like a dress or a watch.
- Words Of Affirmation: These include compliments and verbal expressions.
Hence, to make your love life more enjoyable, it’s crucial to figure out your partner’s love language and give it to them. For example, if it’s quality time and physical touch, you need to get home early, have an in-depth conversation with your partner, and try to solve the issues that they may have. After that, you can caress them and even hug them tightly. This will make them feel more loved and appreciated. Your partner should also know what you love and do it.
Another example is if your partner loves gifs, you can buy them something daily. It doesn’t have to be something costly. A small token of appreciation like a bar of chocolate will make them feel they matter in your life. So, understand your partner and what makes them feel loved.
5. Ensure A Quality Sex Life
A common phrase states that ‘sex is the glue that helps keeps marriages for a long time.’ It plays a key role in determining the success of your marriage. Sexual intimacy is essential to procreation and helps spice up your marriage, so don’t deprive your partner of their conjugal rights.
To have a fulfilling sex life, you must get out of your comfort zone and explore new things with your spouse. Some of the ways to spice up your sex life include:
- Exercising: When you work out to maintain a healthy body, this will help increase your sexual urge (libido) because you’re more confident in your flexible body. Thus, you would be more excited to get physically intimate with your partner, making your marriage more exciting.
- Try different sex positions: Monotony leads to boredom. Having one sex position day in and day out can make your sex life incredibly dull. Therefore, you need to try as many sex styles as you can. If you have no idea how to do that, you can read online sources or romantic magazines to help you gain more insight into different sex positions.
- Use appropriate words: Dirty talks are a critical component to help turn on your significant other. As long as you’ve gotten comfortable with each other, you may use the power of seductive words to make your sex livelier and more enjoyable.
- Foreplay: It’s not advisable to dive right into ‘the act’ without doing pre-sex activities like touching each other. Foreplay is extremely critical, especially for women. It calms and relaxes their bodies to get ready for the actual act. Therefore, you need to learn how to do proper foreplay to achieve a fulfilling sex life.
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6. Go On Double Dates
Inasmuch as having some alone time together as a couple is fundamental in marriage, it’s also advisable to go on dates with other married people. This is one way of keeping your romance alive. Besides, it’s good to interact with other couples and share the experiences you’ve had, both good and bad.
This activity will help you learn more, and your bond with your partner will grow stronger as you talk about your marriage life. Moreover, you’ll be able to discover that you have similar challenges with other couples and try looking for meaningful solutions together.
You can also joke about some funny things, like if you’ve found out that your husbands sleep on the couch until late into the night while watching the television and you have to go wake them up. This is a good opportunity for teasing them and creating beautiful memories.
There’s nothing as fulfilling as knowing that you’re not alone in the journey of marriage and realizing that there are friends you can talk to if things aren’t going well. However, one thing you need to be careful about is the couple that you choose to bring close to you.
Don’t just go on a double date with anyone you know. Ensure that it’s a mature couple who wish nothing but the best for your marriage. They should have a positive impact on your married life. Otherwise, if you go for a couple whose intentions you’re not sure of, they may end up misleading you and tearing your marriage apart. Thus, it’s good to always be mindful.
7. Visit A Relationship Therapist
When people hear the word therapy, they often relate it to something bad or someone having a traumatic experience. However, that may not apply to all situations. As much as most couples start going for therapy when they’ve begun losing trust with each other or when things are on a downhill trend in their marriage, it doesn’t mean that you should wait until then.
You can seek therapy if you want to live a fulfilling married life. Furthermore, because marriage is the only institution where you’re given a certificate before you’ve gained any experience, it would be best to seek counsel on how to go about certain things while at it. Hence, going for therapy sessions will help you understand your spouse better and enliven your marriage. Other reasons to consult a couple of therapist include:
- If you want to have an honest and unbiased opinion about an issue you’re going through in your marriage
- To understand your relationship better (e.g., your typical disagreement and agreement points)
- If you want to learn how to cope with each other’s weaknesses
- If you’d like to redefine your relationship goals after a fight, a break, or an issue like infidelity
- To get advice on how to be better communicators
- If you were raised in a toxic environment by abusive parents or relatives
- To figure out how to deal with post-maternal depression so that it doesn’t affect your marriage
- If you’d like to get insight on how to maintain your love and connection after having kids
The whole point of couple therapy sessions is to have a better marriage life. So, don’t hesitate to attend one if you feel it can help strengthen your marriage.
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After you marry the person you love, you need to ensure that you incorporate ways to maintain the spark and connection between you two. Some ways to spice up your married life include being more intentional about having quality sex, flirting, understanding your significant other’s love language, and also exploring together. If your marriage has started dwindling, try using any of the above strategies to help revive it. Always remember to put your spouse’s needs first. That way, you’ll have one of the most thrilling marriages you’ll strive to keep alive in the years to come.