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How to Fix a Broken Marriage (Even When One Partner Has Given Up)

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First of all, I’m very sorry you’re in a situation that requires you to read this article on fixing a broken marriage subject, but you have chosen wisely.  I will help you.  

If you carefully read this article on how to fix a broken marriage and practice the actions suggested, I guarantee that you will save your marriage and will be a happier person. 

I am confident that you will be able to avoid divorce, you will be a happier, more confident person and all of your relationships will be improved.

This is my promise to you, if you are willing to work on your marriage in the RIGHT way.

The prevailing wisdom, up until now, has been that it takes both people to fix a broken marriage or any broken relationship

I assure you that is not the case, and I have seen many, many marriages saved when one of the partners decided to take action even though the other refused. 

It is possible for one person to save a marriage. In this article, I will be sharing with you some points that will allow you to think in a new way

And to use a fairly unconventional but highly effective system not only to fix your broken marriage, but to improve it drastically with love and faith.

First of all, let’s be clear that I’m suggesting that you “go it alone”.  

When I first suggest the idea of one person working alone on repairing a relationship, I usually meet with resistance.  Here are a few examples of the arguments I hear. 

“But there are two of us in the marriage.  Don’t we both have to work on it to save it?” 

This seems like a very reasonable assumption, but it just isn’t true.

Unless your husband/wife has really and seriously have quit the relationship, there is a fair chance for you to make few helpful changes to save the marriage.

But be mindful, I am not talking about instant results for fixing a broken marriage, but over time it is inevitable that the unhappy partner will notice the (positive) change in your behavior and will respond to it.

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Whether you know it or not, you and your spouse communicate in a revolving stimulus – response pattern. 

You do or say something (the stimulus) and your partner reacts (the response), and then you react to their reaction, and so on.

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The same thing occurs when your partner does or says something.  The two of you have built up a pattern of habitual actions and reactions over time.  

A couple (one relationship) is blend of two unique people getting together to stay as one.  

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A transformation in the conduct of one person will have a negative effect on the other, and this naturally triggers the whole marriage in a negative way.

When the stimulus changes, there will be unexpected and negative response. 

That new response will give out another new and negative response.  If this happens consistently, a new pattern of negative behaviors will arise.

If you want to know how to fix a broken marriage, you’ve to bring some new positive actions and reactions, that will take your relationship to a positive turn.

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And this is possible only when one partner out of the two deals with anger and resentments in a clam way.

In other word if one is angry other listens without getting angry himself or herself.

And that partner is you and this is key to fixing your broken relationship.

Let’s look at an example.  If you have developed a pattern of being disrespectful towards your spouse, he/she will have developed some kind of reaction or coping mechanism.

If you stop your disrespectful behavior, he/she won’t need to use his/her coping mechanism - whatever it is - and her reaction to you will change. 

Here’s a good example to prove my point Andrew and Kate's situation.

Over the seven years they have been married, Andrew has developed a habit of responding disrespectfully to Kate’s ideas.  

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When Andrew doesn’t feel that he’s getting his own way or is losing control of a situation, he uses sarcasm to belittle Kate’s ideas or suggestions.

For example, when Kate suggests they go to her cousin’s wedding 850 miles away, Andrew is worried about how much that will cost. 

Instead of calmly discussing whether or not they can afford to spend the money,

Andrew says, “Oh, what a brilliant idea for us to go to your cousin’s wedding!  

It will only cost us about a thousand dollars after we buy the gift, pay for plane fare and a hotel and get a sitter for the kids!” 

Andrew subtly manages to make Kate’s ideas look like shortcomings on her part, and she feels stupid.  

Kate’s reaction has been to stop suggesting activities and sharing ideas, and the couple have become very distant emotionally.  They hardly ever talk any more.

Eventually Kate realizes she’s getting little from the relationship besides disrespect and abuse and decides to leave. 

If Andrew wants to save his marriage without Kate’s participation, he will need to look frankly at his own behavior and assess how he can change it to keep Kate in the marriage. 

He knows his sarcasm is mean, but it has always worked! Kate always backed off and he always got his own way!  

While it’s true that Andrew did get his own way, he got it, unfortunately, at the expense of the close and open relationship that he and Kate once had. 

If Andrew stops responding to Kate with sarcasm, she will notice.  If he ramps it up a bit by starting conversations and making suggestions, she will probably respond.

In the absence of critical sarcasm, she will probably start sharing her own ideas again, and the couple can begin to recover some of their emotional closeness.  

“I have been trying and nothing works!”  

Yes, I’m sure you have been trying, but what have you done, exactly?

Not the right things, clearly, since nothing has changed.  Have you been trying to change your spouse? 

Then stop!  Nothing you do, no amount of asking or nagging or pleading or threatening, will change your spouse.  You cannot change another person.    

If you to fix your broken marriage, you will have to change yourself.  You will need to change your own behavior. 

For your partner to understand things from your point of view, you will have to explain them, or react, in a way that is meaningful to your partner. 

Read more On: 5 Tips to Deal With an Angry Spouse (Read To Save Your Marriage)

Here’s another simple example.   

Charlie drops his dirty socks on the bedroom floor every day, sometimes a few pairs a day, and never picks them up.  His wife, Jane, has been picking them up since the day they were married.

At first she was okay with it, but then it started to annoy her and she started to resent having to pick up Charlie’s dirty socks. 

So she asked him to do it.  Then asked again.  That didn’t work and the asking soon turned to nagging. 

The more Jane nagged, the more Charlie resented the nagging and resisted doing what she wanted. 

The socks still hit the floor and Jane still picked them up.  The little sock issue had become a very big irritant in the marriage. 

Jane was sure she’d done everything in her power to change.

Charlie’s behavior and had decided it was hopeless What Jane neglected to do was think through what change she wanted to see and how she might get there. 

She assumed that Charlie was in the wrong and needed to change.  She also communicated with Charlie in a way that didn’t work for him.   

Jane didn’t consider changing her own behavior.

What might have happened if she just stopped picking up the socks?  Or if she stopped nagging but kept picking up the socks? 

Or if, instead of nagging, she calmly explained to Charlie that, while she had originally enjoyed picking up his socks because it was fun “acting like a wife”, the novelty had worn off and she felt that it was demeaning for her to have to pick up after him (or that his socks were smelly, or that she had too much other work to do, or whatever her real objection was)? 

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Jane will give each of these a try and see what happens.  At least until one works. 

I can assure you that one of these changes on Jane’s part will work to change Charlie’s behavior as well as his understanding  of what’s going on for Jane.

“It’s not fair that my spouse doesn’t have to do anything and I have to do all the work!” 

Correct.  At least initially, you will be doing all the work.

It may not seem fair, but remember that you are dealing with a person who has given up on the relationship, or is, at the very least, skeptical that it can be saved. 

You are the one who believes in your marriage and wants to save it! 

It is your motivation to save the marriage that will provide the momentum you need.  It will keep you willing to do the lion’s share of the work and it will keep you on track. 

You will need to work hard, to fix your broken marriage and sometimes it won’t be fun. 

You will need to do some serious introspection and you will definitely have to change your behavior, and possibly some of your habits. 

Sometimes you will backslide and other times you will try things that don’t work.

But eventually you will start to have small successes and it will get easier.  

To be honest to make all that happen. I want introduce you a very powerful and successful system which is called “Mend The Marriage” by Brad Browning.

Brad Browning, relationship expert, says it's actually easier to fix a broken marriage on your own. And he talks about how you can do it in his video.

Mend Your Marriage ⇐ Even When He/She's Already Given Up.

mend-the-marriage

I will stop here. I hope you loved this article on how to fix a broken marriage. If you really did please do not forget to share it on your favorite social media.

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About the Author Manish Yadav

My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on......and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other......My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other.And we’re just getting started!

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