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Are you worried that your man is getting the commitment phobia? Do you wish that you could have seen the warning signs in the past? If Yes! Do not worry about, in my 24 convincing points you’ll learn EXACTLY how to deal with a commitment phobic man
No matter what point your relationship may be at, more than likely you are constantly worried about the fear that he may feel which could end things or he’s afraid of committing to you.
It’s totally natural, particularly if you have suffered through this sort of thing before. But not any more come join me and I will show you exactly how to deal with a commitment phobic man.
I can tell you that there are warning signs that are there from the very start.
If you are dealing with a man that has a true and deep fear of commitment, then the red flags were there before you even realized it.
Though you may not be willing to admit it, he’s showing you some of this from the first moment that you get together.
If he has a bad past or if he lacks commitment in general in his life, then he’s going to disappoint you!
I can distinctly remember a woman coming to me for some counseling. She had been in a relationship with this man for about two years and was wondering why he wasn’t ready for marriage.
I started asking her about him, trying to understand what kind of a guy we were dealing with. I asked about the relationship in general and then started to ask about his life to get some insight.
As soon as I began to dive into the issues about his past it’s like a light went on within her head.
When I asked if he kept in touch with any of his ex-girlfriends she could see that this was heading in a bad direction.
She uncovered to me that he had broken up with several girlfriends in the past because they were ready to get married and he wasn’t.
He was now 38 years old and still couldn’t talk about marriage without breaking out into a sweat!
She then went onto tell me that he didn’t really have a lot of close friends, that he was really more of a loner.
This is most definitely an unusual trait for a man as they tend to travel in packs!
The more that we talked, the more it became obvious to both of us that this man had a real issue with commitment.
What exactly prompted this or fed into it was unclear, but there was a problem nonetheless.
She was heartbroken but also a bit relieved.
She came in thinking that it was something with her and realized that this man was never going to commit, and more than likely was going to enjoy the rest of his life as a bachelor.
Let’s face it, most women aren’t detectives!
So they don’t possess the necessary skills to figure out what may be happening beneath the surface.
This is a situation where you have to be very observant. If you want to figure out if your man is getting ready to run, then you may have to stand back and take a long hard look at his behaviors.
If there is a major change in behavior, that’s always something to be in tune to.
If he suddenly seems withdrawn or distant, or simply not the way that he used to be, then these can be good indicators that something isn’t right.
Many women that I have talked to have a tendency to think that their man is cheating when they start acting strange—and it’s not always this black and white!
Sometimes when a man changes his behavior or begins to change how he is with you, it may mean that his commitment fear is going strong.
Only you know what’s happening or where the relationship is really at.
Consider your role in it as well—are you pressuring him to commit or to move forward?
Are you too comfortable or dependent upon him? Therefore making him feel suffocated or simply not as passionate?
It may not be you at all, but do take the time to survey the situation as a whole.
Were things once good and now they are failing? Can you figure out what that may be attributed to?
We will get into the surefire telltale signs that a relationship is failing in a moment.
For now let me tell you that a change in behavior is one of the most important ways to detect if something is wrong.
Also think about how he reacts if a friend gets engaged or married as this may tell you everything you ever need to know.
Does he think that his friend is making a mistake or talk badly about the next step?
Does he seem more interested in hanging out with the guys than with you?
Sometimes immaturity may be part of it, but it’s really very telling if this comes out of the blue.
Any sudden change in behavior or even ill reaction to commitment may be good indicators that something has gone terribly wrong.
If he’s not being 100% truthful with you then you may need to reassess where things are going.
I see it time and again where women want to make excuses for their man. They would much rather stay in this “go nowhere” relationship in hopes that they can fix or change him.
Let me tell you this honestly once and for all—You are NEVER going to change him! If he has a fear of commitment then that is always going to be a part of him.
If and when he’s ready to commit to the next step, that’s a different story.
You should not ever have to convince him or pressure him though, and you must remember that.
Sometimes you have to be honest with yourself and when you are then you may see the things that were always there.
You probably thought that he’d change, but you need to see the situation for what it is.
It’s not to say that a man fearful of commitment will never be ready, but you shouldn’t have to walk him through this.
You both know when it’s right and if his fear is getting the best of him then that’s a surefire sign that something is wrong and that’s the only way you will have to deal with a commitment phobic man.
You may not necessarily want to see some of these though they may be staring you right in the face.
If you look at his past, his current life structure, and a few other elements, you may have all the answers that you need.
Here are some of the most obvious warning signs of a commitment phobic man in general or that he’s feeling scared to commit in the current relationship:
#1. A bad history: Is he a serial dater that never closed the deal? Does he have a lot of long term relationships in his past that ended in breakup? Can you find out if his ex-girlfriends broke up because he couldn’t commit?
#2. The relationship history that he has can be very telling as to his intent or ability to commit, so do your best to look into this and you will be sure to find some answers.
#3. Does he have a lot of people he’s close to? Most men have a good amount of close friends, so if your guy doesn’t then there may be some issues.
#4. He may have a hard time opening up or trusting and that ties directly into your relationship.If he doesn’t hold onto friends or if he has a hard time making friends then that can be very telling of the type of person that he is.
#5. If he is a true introvert or has no problem being alone, then your relationship may be going nowhere.
#6. Is he calling you as frequently as he used to? If he used to call you all the time and that behavior has changed dramatically you may be able to tell that something is wrong.
#7. If he used to call just to say hi and that is no longer part of the ritual then you need to find out why. Without nagging, try to find out why he’s not calling or be observant about this change in his relationship behavior.
#8. Does he ever talk about the future with you? Some men break out in sweat when the mention of the future comes up.
#9. If he can’t talk about marriage, kids, or just make future plans at all, then something is seriously wrong. He may not be ready just yet, but he should be able to discuss the idea of a future. Even worse, if his future plans do not include you then you need to investigate what is going on.
#10. Does he make plans with you or wait for you to plan things? Some men are just not planners, but if he seems perfectly content in going through a weekend without you then that’s a big sign.
#11. He should want to be with you and when he seems more interested in hanging with the guys or just chilling at home, then commitment may be the furthest thing from his mind.
#12. No attempt at making plans usually means that his interest is wavering, and that’s never a good thing!
#13. He doesn’t really seem that interested in your life or being a part of it: When you have a work function or simply want to talk about your day, does he seem completely withdrawn?
#14. Typically a man who fears commitment or who is getting ready to run does not want any part of his woman’s life. You may be making excuses for him but readily recognize that this behavior is simply not the norm.
#15. If he is anything but interested in hearing about your daily details or being part of your life in general, then this is not a man that is going to commit to you.
#16. He doesn’t make an effort with your friends and family: Along the same lines, a man that does not try to be friends with your friends or get in good with your family often has some deeper issue.
#17. If it’s a relationship for the long term then he is going to make an effort with these important people in your life. If he has no intention of sticking around then building relationships with these people is not high on his priority list whatsoever!
#18. He spends more time with his friends or “working”: Not only does he seem completely uninterested in spending time with you, but he has other places he’d rather be.
#19. Pay special attention if this is a recent behavior because it may tell you what you know but aren’t willing to admit. If he’s out at the clubs, constantly with his friends, or simply making an excuse that he’s working, then this is not a man that you want to think of committing to.
#20. He’s clearly not ready and therefore this is something you must notice.
#21. He is evasive, distant, or just generally not engaged or present when he’s with you: When I talk about change in behavior, this is precisely what I am referring to.
#22. He is either not present when he’s with you or completely withdrawn. If it was there from the beginning then this is just part of his personality or disposition, and that’s unfortunate.
#23. If it comes about seemingly out of nowhere then that’s where some fear of commitment issues may be coming about. A change in behavior is not a good thing in this area!
#24. If he is not the same man or if he is just generally not interested, then it’s time to figure out what is going on within his head once and for all.
Though these telltale signs are helpful in detecting what is going on, they aren’t always easy to handle. The truth is not always pretty, but I’m here to tell you that you must be honest with yourself.
Take a step back, observe, look for some of the most common behavior, and see what you may uncover that could have been beneath the surface all this time!
I will stop here. I hope you loved this article on how to deal with a commitment phobic man.
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!