In this article I have collected three of the most toxic Dating advice or myths to share with you. If dating isn’t working for you right now, it’s probably because you hold one of the beliefs below.
These old beliefs about dating will prevent you from enjoying dating and getting the most out of it.
You may find that the dating advice you’re about to read shocks you, but don’t let yourself close your mind. Change your belief, and a whole new world of dating could open up to you. Dare yourself to see the possibilities!
I urge you to read this article on dating tips for women till the end to counter your old dating myths.
So let’s begin.
Dating Myth #1: Dating is an exam that you either pass or fail.
This is the most poisonous dating myth of all, because it takes all the fun out of what should be an exciting opportunity to meet different people.
The minute you put pressure on yourself to “do well” on a date, you doom the outcome.
When you’re feeling pressured or stressed, you don’t come across as your naturally bubbly self.
Any man you’re with will be able to tell that you’re tense, anxious to do the right thing, and working too hard to impress him.
You need to change your perspective. Dating is not your chance to impress him. It’s the chance you’re giving him to impress you.
Put yourself in the position of the chooser, not the chosen. You’re on this date to have a good time and to see if the two of you click.
If you don’t click, that’s just the way it is. No one is to blame.
It’s not that one of you “didn’t measure up;” it’s just that you weren’t compatible. Thank him for a nice time, and move on!
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You don’t have to wait for him to decide to “pick you.” You can be up front about your feelings.
If you had a great time and would like to do it again, say so.
It’s not a big deal. You’re not committing to a relationship with him, after all; you’re just expressing an interest in hanging out with him again!
Reserving your judgment about a man until you’ve been out on dates together for a few weeks or even a few months is the most important thing you can do in the early stages of dating.
You need to make sure that you remind yourself that you don’t know him all that well yet.
No matter how amazing and perfect for you he seems right now, it will take time – and, yes, “work” – to find out whether your gut instinct is right.
Have you ever had the experience where you had an instant, almost miraculous connection with someone?
Then, after a few weeks of magical, romantic, this-is-my-soulmate dates, he cut off all contact with you, and you never heard from him again?
Guys do this for a number of reasons. Some guys, like girls, fall in love fast, but they fall out of interest just as fast.
Other guys get creeped out when things go too fast; they worry they’ll end up in a long-term relationship if they don’t end it now.
Still other guys cut and run when a girl they hardly know appears to be head-over-heels for them, thinking that she must be psycho or needy to have fallen that fast.
You can prevent this from happening by taking your time and keeping your feelings in check until you get to know him better.
You may be right – he might very well be “The One” for you – but if he is The One, he’s not going to go away if he has to wait a little bit.
This is good way of seeing whether a man’s interest in you is merely impulsive or whether it’s genuine.
If a man is genuinely interested in you, his interest won’t just go away. He’ll wait and bide his time until the opportunity is right for both of you.
If, on the other hand, he’s dating you on impulse in the hopes of getting you into bed, then he won’t have the patience to get to know you first.
He’ll want to push things until you find yourselves in bed together.
And if he stops calling after that, don’t be surprised.
His own judgment may have been clouded by lust, and, once that cloud cleared, he may have realized just how stupid he’d been in pursuing you.
Deciding how fast you want things to go with a man is always a tough call, but you can make that decision easier for yourself by basing it on whether you actually think that the two of you would make a good long-term couple.
If you find yourself making the decision to take things a step further based on the fear that he might leave you if you don’t sleep with him, take it as a red flag: he probably isn’t the man of your dreams.
Dating Myth #2: The faster he commits, the better
The vast majority of new relationships fail. Half of all marriages fail. Why?
We can speculate on a variety of reasons – people fall out of love, people’s lives change, midlife crises, and so forth – but the reason that sticks in my mind as the most compelling is this.
We assume we’re compatible only to find out we’re not.
Has anything like that happened to you?
Maybe you met a great new guy at a party, couldn’t stop gabbing all night, only to meet him a few days later in the daylight, cold-sober, and found that he was a totally different person?
Or maybe you got into a long-term relationship with a man whom you thought shared all your same values only to find out a few years down the road that he didn’t want children and thought that your house deposit fund was for a jet boat.
We make a lot of assumptions about people we meet.
Most often, you assume that they’re a lot like you: that they share your values, attitudes, and perspective on the world. It’s Mother Nature’s way of helping you make friends.
If you knew just how different someone was to you, you may not feel as well-disposed towards them.
But when it comes to relationships, you really do need all the facts and that’s the best dating tips every women should remember.
You can’t assume that someone will still be just as compatible with you 5, 10, or 20 years down the line.
Sadly, if you want a marriage that lasts forever, that’s exactly what you need to be looking for.
That’s why it’s so important to spend time dating before you commit to a relationship with someone.
Although it may feel incredibly flattering to find out that a man wants a relationship just as much as you do, you have no idea if he’s going to change his mind.
Having the same desire for a relationship isn’t a green light to go steady.
Rather, it’s an invitation that you can sit on for a while, as you continue to spend time together and learn more about one another.
Don’t be so quick to leap from dating into a serious relationship.
What seems like a good idea now may change in a few weeks.
You’re not losing anything by keeping your relationship casual. You can still spend time together and enjoy one another’s company.
I’ll never forget the young man who told me that he regretted taking things to the next level with his girlfriend.
“It was so fun to dream about her and think about what it would be like to be together all the time,” he told me. “I couldn’t get enough of her.
Then I asked her to move in with me, and now it’s like we’re just like any other couple.
Sure, there are still good times, but I kind of wished that we would have strung out the anticipation longer.
It’s like waiting for Christmas: you wish you could hurry it up, but then you’re kind of glad you have to wait. It makes the surprise better.”
There are actually benefits to dating someone longer, even if both of you are interested in having a relationship.
For one thing, dating means that you’re only casually involved in the other person’s life.
You don’t see all the negative stuff going on beneath the surface, because both of you are still trying to be your best selves for one another.
Getting serious puts a greater strain on your relationship.
Whereas you used to be able to forgive his foibles, seeing them as silly quirks that made him who he is, you now think to yourself, “Gosh, could I live with that?”
Small disagreements can morph into serious incompatibility issues.
Everything – from how he hangs his toilet roll to whether you like his friends – matters so much more.
But if you’re just casually dating, it’s not as painful to separate if you find out that things just aren’t going to work out between you.
That’s why you’re dating: you want to find out where your trouble spots are as a couple before you commit to something more serious.
When things are casual, it’s easy to put an end to it with a minimum of fuss and heartache.
But the more you’ve committed to him and the more you’ve tied up your life with his, the harder it’s going to be to back out if you find out that he has some issue that you’re not willing to live with.
Women put up with all kinds of abuse simply because they feel that they can’t give up.
The more you’ve invested in someone, the harder it is to sever ties.
As well as you think you know a man, he still has the capacity to surprise you.
Don’t assume that you know everything about him just because you’ve been together for a few months.
Use your time wisely, and only get into a relationship when you’re sure it’s the right thing to do.
Dating Myth #3: You can only date one man at a time (write this down this for me is again one of the best dating tips for women)
Modern dating doesn’t look anything like its traditional cousin. In the “olden days,” the main focus of dating was to determine whether or not a man and a woman were suited to get married.
Courtship was serious stuff: you wouldn’t let a man organize and pay for dates unless you were serious about returning his affections.
But today’s twenty-some things are revolutionizing the way we think about dating.
Once considered preparation for marriage, dating is now considered by many as a form of entertainment.
It’s about having fun, enjoying romance, and getting some nooky and those spoilsports who think it should be taken seriously are being booed out by the next generation.
As a result, expectations have changed.
Men aren’t expected to demonstrate their financial stability by organizing expensive dates; instead, dates on the cheap or “going dutch” are perfectly acceptable.
A couple can date without intending to ever get married. A woman must be careful not to assume that
she and her partner are monogamous until they’ve had “the talk.”
What this means for us is that we have to change our attitudes to match the times.
Although we may wish that courtship could return to the days of a man standing at your father’s door asking for permission to take you out, those days have long passed. Things are different now.
And many of those changes are good.
For one thing, you’re no longer destined to marry someone from your hometown.
Singles today have greater choice than ever before, as internet dating brings single available men to your home computers.
Because you have so much choice, you need more efficient dating tips, dating advice and techniques to weed through the abundance of men out there.
That’s why it’s not just acceptable but essential to date more than one man at a time.
Trust me: he’s not hanging around waiting to cross you off his list before he goes on to the next girl.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to meet lots of different members of the opposite sex and enjoy their company.
It’s more efficient – and makes more sense – to have multiple potential love interests that you’re working on at the same time.
The only caveat is this: as soon as you become sexually intimate with a man, you should inform the other men in your life.
They may still want to remain your friend in a platonic way, or they may decide that their time would be better spent looking for a girl to become their girlfriend.
There are many advantages to dating several guys at once.
First of all, you’re much more clear-headed about the merits of each man when you have several others to compare him to.
You’re not so needy if he doesn’t call, because you already have other dates lined up.
If one man decides that you’re not his type, it won’t bother you so much, because you have several other options that are just as good.
The biggest advantage to seeing several guys at once is that it allows you to wade through the dating pool much more quickly.
If you’re online dating, you’ll see what I mean.
It’s a waste of time to focus on chatting with one guy and one guy only.
Experienced online daters find themselves chatting with several men at once and arranging dates with all of them.
(One woman I know even schedules all her dates on the same day so that she doesn’t have to worry about getting dressed up three different times!)
Although it may seem wrong to go on a date with one man and know that in a few days you’re going on a date with someone else, let me reassure you that men know the score.
He doesn’t expect you to focus all of your attention on him, and he doesn’t want you to. It takes the pressure off from him when you’re not putting all your hopes on his shoulders.
Hopefully, you’re already aware of the three Dating Myths I described already.
Dating is NOT an exam that you either pass or fail.
You don’t have to jump into a relationship head-first just because he wants one. You can and should date several men at the same time, as long as you’re not sleeping with any of them.
The quickest and easiest way to tell if you’ve got the right attitude on dating is to ask yourself the question:
Do I have fun dating?
If the answer is yes, you’re on the right track!
If the answer is no, then review the above Dating Myths again.
You may be holding a false belief about dating that’s keeping you from enjoying meeting new men as much as you should.
Besides, who could not like dating, when there’s a world of amazing single, available men to explore?
I will stop here. I hope you loved reading this article on dating tips for women.
If you love reading then you’ll also love this powerful video presentation below.