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Whether you're already dating someone, or you're married or you're attracted to someone this article is for you. These 5 brutal dating mistakes women make with men can ruin your chances of having a long-term successful relationship with your man.
To be honest Every woman has made these dating mistakes at one time or another.
Many are still making them now – murdering his attraction for you without even realizing it.It’s time to stop that madness right now.
#1. Mistake Number One: Giving Up Your Power
‘There’s nothing that drives me away faster than a whiny, insecure, needy woman. If she’s constantly asking for more, if she’s always asking ‘What’s wrong?’ like a whiny little girl, if she’s always having emotional outbursts and making ME the center of everything, I feel totally trapped. It’s smothering. It doesn’t matter how hot she is or how great things have been up til now … the moment the helpless-little-girl behavior starts showing, I just want to RUN.’ - Steve, 35, bartender
Guess what? The more needy, clingy, and helpless you appear, the more you force a man into the role of ‘daddy’.
Men are intrigued by anything they can’t control.
(That’s why they love video games, golf, sports, and gambling at the horse track. The element of chance, the possibility of loss, is a powerful fascinator for a man.)
Therefore, the more you give away your power and awesomeness, the more you act helpless and clingy, the more ‘confused’ and ‘overwhelmed’ you appear to be in life ,the more he starts to feel you’re under his thumb.
And what happens next?
He sees you as a child, someone who needs ‘looking after’, and his sexual desire and attraction for you vanishes in a puff of smoke.
Powerlessness means now you’re no longer a privilege to be with. Now you just seem like a burden.
So I urge you don't give up on your power, be independent to maintain to self-respect and integrity and avoid making this brutal mistake with your man.
#2. Mistake Number Two: Resentful, or Abrasive Behavior
Many women are in such a state of lovelessness, and in so much pain for so long, that their entire personality and way of relating to their man changes.
They become hard. Abrasive. Cold. There’s a harshness to the way they talk: they no longer reach out, no longer appreciate their man, they rarely smile, even their tone of voice changes.
It’s like all their feminine sweetness and sparkly joy in life just disappeared.And it makes a difference.
The truth is, this kind of shut-down, abrasive, aggressive behavior typically comes from resentment, which comes from repressed anger. Many women are afraid to express their anger.
So they just tamp it down inside, where it either rots and comes out as tears and sadness…OR, it explodes out of you at completely inappropriate times (like YELLING at your boyfriend because he left his socks on the floor again.)
Here’s the deal with anger: it comes up sooner or later in ALL relationships. It can be due to anything maybe he ignores you, or argues with you, fights with you or anything.
But believe me this is suppose to happen in every relationship, in fact this problems exist even in an ideal relationship.
But the point is IF you know how to handle it with power and grace, instead of fear, denial, and/or emotional outbursts than things will certainly change over time.
Remember anger is never a solution, it only ruins and shows your insecurity and no man would want to be with angry and resentful relationships and that's the reason many times men leave perfect woman.
#3. Mistake Number Three: Loud, Brassy, Emotional Outbursts.
Emotional outbursts make it seem like you can’t take care of yourself. They make you seem wonky, wobbly, unpredictable in a bad way, and kinda … well, weak.
Therefore, he won’t respect you, because he will sense you are ‘below’ him emotionally and mentally.
He needs to feel like you’re a special gem, a truly magical creature like no other.Guess what that means? It means you need to be able to control your own emotions.
Because it’s downright impossible to desire and respect a childish woman who throws tantrums, whines, or has emotional outbursts.
The hidden message when you act this way? You are childish … therefore he feels above you.
The best kind of men want a relationship of equality. (Truth be told, he actually wants to be a little in awe of you, too.)
So be aware of this and if this some how relates to you stop doing it.
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#4. Mistake Number Four: Mothering And Smothering.
1. Did you remember to eat breakfast?
2. ’Did you remember your keys?
3. You’ve got your wallet, right?’
4. Don’t forget, the bills are due tomorrow.’
5 ‘How many times do I have to ask you to (x,y,z)?
6 ‘It’s cold out, you’ll need a scarf.
7 ‘Did you brush your teeth yet?’
8 ‘Can you do the dishes before bed?’
Here’s a shocking concept:
Men don’t actually need you to tell them how to live. Your man is not a little boy (yup – even if he acts like one at times.)
Even if he seems totally lost at times - you do not need to mother him. And if you treat him like he’s incompetent, guess what? He will begin to ACT incompetent, because you’re not giving him room to take care of himself.
If you have a man who acts immature, you need to take a look at what YOUR role is in this. I am not saying it’s your fault.
But remember, relationships are a seesaw. The more one person does, the less the other person CAN do. Mothering a man is often a silent plea to get more love in the relationship.
One of the subscriber wrote to me and said, ‘Whenever I feel him pulling away, I slip back into the mothering thing – I start asking him to do things and then reminding him to do them, I start picking up after him, I really go all out to make the house look beautiful and cook great food.
But it never works. I get a ‘thanks, hon’ … but I want PASSION, not gratitude!’Here’s the thing: he WILL feel loved if you mother him. But he will feel your love as a mother. And a man doesn’t want to make love to his mother.
He doesn’t want to kiss his mother.Trying to ‘rescue’ a man, help him run his life, baby him, or look out for him is guaranteed to kill the passion and spice in your relationship over time, because he cannot have erotic feelings and sexual desire for a woman who he perceives as a ‘mother’.
And believe me this is one of the most common dating mistakes women make with men and if you're reading this avoid it.
#5. Mistake Number Five: Not Loving Yourself Enough To Give A Damn About How You Look And Feel.
‘At heart, every man’s biggest fear is that after you get married you’ll gain a ton of weight,stop coloring your hair, and start looking like his mother.’
‘I don’t care about a few lines and cellulite dimples. But is it a turn off if she eats crap 24/7, never exercises, and slops around in dirty sweat pants? And then – this is the killer –COMPLAINS about how she looks and feels? Oh yeah.’
Okay, truth time:Your appearance matters.In fact, the effort you put into your appearance is INCREDIBLY high on his list of priorities.
Higher than many women realize. So high, in fact, that one of the biggest reasons given for male cheating.
’That’s not to say you need to be a size four. It’s not about having a ‘bikini body’ like some 20 year old on spring break.
It’s not about going for a particular ‘look’.It’s about paying attention and putting the effort in to love yourself.
It’s about showing that you have PRIDE.Plenty of women give up to some extent on their appearance after they ‘settle in’ with a man.
Over time, the cute outfits and pretty negligees get phased out, and in come the baggy sweats and conservative baggy flannel sleepwear.
Here’s something most women don’t realize:
Bragging rights’ are extremely important to a man. That means it is EXTREMELY dear to a man’s heart that he can be proud of you when he introduces you to people.
(No man in his right mind will ever come out and tell you this, but I assure you it’s true.)
In practical terms, forget about ‘perfection’. Most women are already over pressured and overburdened to ‘look a certain way’, so I need you to know right now that being ‘teensy tiny’ or remaining forever young is not the point here.
But, if you can PUT IN THE EFFORT to look good, that goes an incredibly long way with a man.
it’s not about being a Skinny Minnie.
It’s not about being some teen sex pot (or acting like one.)
It’s not about wearing awesome clothes or teetering around in heels 24/7.
It’s about loving yourself enough to FEEL GOOD about yourself most of the time.
I hope you got the point and here are few careless mistakes women make around their men. Not all women but some.
So please take care of the following details that I've mentioned below to avoid in future.
#1. Clean is sexy. Hygiene is sexy. If you’re not feeling confident about how you smell (teeth, breath, pits, and, um, ‘down south’ too), it’s going to impact your confidence, socially and sexually. Fresh and sweet is fresh and sweet. (You can even get little ‘shower wipes’ to carry around if you hit the gym and don’t have time for a full shower afterwards.)
#2. Makeup is optional. That said, a little lip-gloss does add pizazz.
#3. Feed yourself well, and pay attention to how it feels to be you. If you’re not feeling great in your own body and your own skin, chances are, he’s noticing that too. And it makes a difference.
One final word: you are not a plastic doll off some factory line, and you're not meant to be. The female body comes in all shapes and sizes, and every body is a good body. so don't worry about it.
Many women are under a massive amount of pressure to look ‘perfect’, but my friend you don't need to take that pressure.
Be confident and feel sexy and awesome from inside and keep your posture high and that's enough to wrap him around your fingers for life long.
I hope you got what I mean. I will stop here, I am sure you loved reading this article on brutal dating mistakes women make with men.
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!
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