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" By forgoing closeness with our partners, we are also missing our oxytocin boost —making us less agreeable to the world around us and more vulnerable to conflict.” –Amir Levine – why oxytocin in men matters and what are the benefits of oxytocin boost in men
In most of my articles, I talk about arousing a woman sexually with the help mental stimulation and brain chemistry.
But do you know that mental stimulation and brain chemistry are directly related to the hormone oxytocin.
Without boosting the level of oxytocin in men and even in women, it is just not possible to touch each other sexually.
In other words, the feeling, excitement and the thrill has to EXIST for better sex and orgasms.
And to make that happen the level of oxytocin has to be balanced at least, if not very high both in men and women.
It’s because understanding oxytocin is essential in creating long-lasting bonds between couples.
#1. So What's All The Fuss About Oxytocin?
It’s what new moms release when nursing their infants and what both men and women release while making out, cuddling, or having sex.
It lowers blood pressure, reduces the stress hormone cortisol, and is what helps us feel connected to our partners.
Before I begin this article on boosting oxytocin in men, it’s important for you to know that working with brain chemistry or mental seduction is something we do, consciously or unconsciously, every day.
Though you won't be able to control someone's mind with oxytocin, when you understand how we are wired, you will be able to consciously create and maintain a deeper connection where one already exists.
Which means you will also understand how to deepen a connection consciously and with intention and even control a woman’s mind sexually.
#2. How to Get the Bonding Hormone (Oxytocin) Flowing
If you have ever watched the TV show The Bachelor, then you have seen the power of oxytocin in action.
The show mixes a perfect blend of dopamine, the reward chemical, and oxytocin, the bonding chemical.
It's the precise mix of chemicals that has participants in the show constantly shocked at how quickly they are "falling in love."
The producers of The Bachelor know the research and apply it every episode.
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Here is a sample list of activities that get the oxytocin juices flowing:
Dancing with your partner
Watching an emotionally intense movie
Doing a heart pumping activity together like exercising or riding a roller coaster
Having intimate, vulnerable conversations which also includes sexual and dirty talking.
So, if you, too, want to create true love in your life, it's important to take control of her chemistry.
But like any super power – only do this with someone you really want to bond with. These chemicals work. Powerfully.
Steps To Trigger Oxytocin in men.
#3. Plan your oxytocin infused date.
Pick an activity that will give you the opportunity to do some of the activities listed above.
You can take a ballroom dancing class, or if there is a theme park nearby, share a candy apply and ride a killer roller coaster.
If you live near the beach, plan a beachside picnic. Or stay at home and watch a romantic movie.
The key is that while you are doing these activities, make sure you hold hands, kiss, cuddle, and make lots of eye contact or eye gazing.
We will talk about eye gazing in brief in the bonus section of this article as it plays a very significant role in boosting the level of oxytocin in both men and women. (For now continue reading).
Make sure you are natural with the eye contact, so that she doesn’t feel like you are challenging her to a staring contest. Too much intense eye contact just feels weird.
If you really want to up the oxytocin, at a quiet moment, take a long, slow deep breath, look into her eyes, and say, “I love you.”
#4. Have After-Date Sex.
Once the date is over, I want you to have sex.
Most of this course is about fun debauchery and playful fucking.
However, the focus of this article is to increase deep intimacy and emotional connection. You have set the stage with the oxytocin-infused date, and now it’s time to seal the deal.
The only thing I want you to do is make sure that the two of you are making eye contact during orgasm. Before you get started, tell her you want to be looking into her eyes when she climaxes.
#5. Eye-gazing is actually an ancient Tantric practice, one about which I go into more detail in the bonus material.
I know it can be a challenge to cum while staring into another person’s eyes because most of us are used to cumming with our eyes closed.
I’ve found keeping your eyes closed until the moment of orgasm and then opening them makes this practice a little bit easier.
It can be distracting if you are staring her down while the orgasm is building but great if you can do it!
Part of being able to keep your eyes open is being comfortable with being vulnerable.
Whether it's mutual masturbation or intercourse, the reality is, eye contact makes a difference.
#6. Eye-Gazing Bonding Technique
We have already talked about eye-gazing during orgasm. It feels fucking amazing. And it's an incredibly powerful technique for connection building.
However, if you really want to go deep, I recommend you try my “4-Minute Eye-Gazing Technique which I will discuss below in the bonus setion.”
Eye-gazing is a Tantric practice that is said to help us go beyond a person’s physical self and our preconceived ideas about who the other person is.
Eye-gazing truly gives us an opportunity to see into another’s depth of being.
People have reported being flooded with feelings of empathy, compassion, bonding, love, oneness, euphoria, openness, well-being, vulnerability, truly perceived, deeply understood, etc. when eye-gazing.
Quite a powerful cocktail for developing a deeper bond!
When I was a novice and just starting to figure all this out, I tried this technique with a girl that I had just begun dating.
We both felt closer and more connected afterwards, but she fell in love – HARD. So be careful who you try this with!
You are going to give them an experience that is unlike any experience they have ever had before, and they will develop a strong association with you being the source of the wonderfully intense feelings with which they will be flooded.
#7. Get Her On Board (Bonus Content on Eye-Gazing)
Ask her if she would like to try this thing you read about called “The 4-Minute Eye-Gaze,” which is supposed deepen the connection between two people.
Or, perhaps, you guys have already tried it with orgasming, in which case, you could just say something like, “You know how we make eye contact when we orgasm and it feels so good?
Why don’t we try sitting across from one another for 4 minutes and eye-gaze? I read that 4 minutes is the magic number for creating a deeper feeling of connection. What do you think?”
#8. Get Comfortable
It’s really important that the two of you be comfortable when using this technique. You can sit in chairs across from each other, but I prefer sitting cross-legged on the floor or bed.
That way you can also be in contact by touching each other’s knees or holding hands. If sitting cross-legged is uncomfortable for you, stack some blankets or pillows underneath you.
That usually helps, especially if you have tight hamstrings.
You'll probably notice that you are both feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement by doing this exercise.
Perhaps even a bit uncertainty about what is going to happen but looking forward to connecting with each other.
Take a minute to let all that settle down a bit.
Have a timer set and ready nearby so that when you’re ready to begin, you can quickly reach for it and hit ‘start.’
Now that you are both comfortably situated, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths together. Use my 3-step-trance technique to put you both in a light trance.
Once you've done this, open your eyes again.
#10. Eye Gaze to boost oxytocin in men & women.
Grab your timer and hit ‘start’ and begin gazing into one another’s eyes. You will probably find that your eyes want to dart back and forth from one eye to another.
That’s OK and normal.
But you may want to settle down and choose one eye to focus on for a while, and then maybe switch to the other. Keep your gaze soft and relaxed. This is not a staring contest.
Notice what is happening in your body without judgment and allow whatever sensations or feelings that are coming up to flow like the waves of an ocean; they will come and they will go.
You may notice various shapes or colors changing when it comes to your vision of the other person.
Her face may begin to melt and change as if you both took a hit of LSD.
This is all normal and you should just let it be and don’t get overly focused on it.
#11. Share your insights
Afterward, discuss your experience with her. How did it feel to be seen? How was it to look deeply into one another’s souls?
What feelings came up? Did your faces change? Are your hearts more open? Do you feel closer and more connected?
Feel free to do this with each other as often or as little as you like. I’ve found, however, that making it a regular practice can really help keep the relationship on track and help both people maintain a feeling of relaxation and safety.
And, if you can find a way to have anal sex, or some kind of double penetration so that the intensity of the sensation is super high – and then make eye contact when you cum - that will cement an oxytocin bond.
#12. Couples that Cum Together.
If you are one of those couples that can climax at the same time – great! If not, you will be making eye contact one at a time.
For women, I’ve found that being on top is easiest for her. This way she has full access to rubbing her clit, and can also make eye contact at the same time.
Or if your girlfriend is like mine, she loves doggy and it’s her favorite way to cum, then you will need to try the OTS Orgasm.
I named this orgasm from a term in the film industry – back in the days when I used this technique a lot.
If you’re doing doggy, then right when she cums, she makes eye contact by looking OTS – over the shoulder – back at you.
It's a beautiful technique and really sexy to watch.
If you are taking turns cumming, then missionary will probably be the preferred position for you. You can cum and look deeply into her eyes when you do. Like you are looking deep inside of her.
The oxytocin rush you will both experience after climaxing is going to blow your mind.
Don’t be surprised if one or both of you gets a little weepy. A rush of oxytocin is an incredibly intense and vulnerable feeling.
There is nothing a woman loves more than a man who can cum, let his guard down, and let her see his vulnerability in this way. It's a beautiful experience to share – over and over.
But all this fantasies are possible only when you release oxytocin and keep it in balance.
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on......and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other......My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other.And we’re just getting started!
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