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How to touch a woman sexually to turn her on? This is probably one of the most confusing things that men have to deal with.
Putting it another way, there’s the touch skills we’ve seen and learned in porn all of our lives, and if you’re anywhere in your 20s or 30s or above you know it very well.
It has been very much a part of life. So most of us know about porn touch. But we just don’t know clearly about the sensitive places to touch a woman.
This article on how to touch a woman sexually is a step-by-step 4000 word simple and easy to implement guide.
I Request you to read this until the end to discover the sweet spots every girl want to be touched.
So, if you are ready let’s begin the journey to touch her and turn her on.
So our challenge is, first off, that touch skills don’t fall off the truck, and a lot of guys walk around thinking, “Oh, I don’t need anything.”
But if I took you into the gym and you’ve never been to the gym before and I say to you, “Bench press 300 pounds,” you’d look at me like I was insane, right? You’d just be like, “You’re insane” and I would be insane.
Similarly, we expect men to just be born with the ability to have sex and to be born with passion and to understand her sex drive and find out what makes a woman feel good, when really, we don’t have a clue.
Just to put it in perspective, for hundreds of thousands of years, sex probably lasted somewhere between two and five minutes; it was a rapid act that had to be done pretty fast for safety reasons.
There was not a lot of attention to detail because sex acts you’re your focus, and anytime you’re that vulnerable – you’re either vulnerable to other men who could potentially attack or you’re vulnerable to animals – is dangerous.
I’m sure the caves were quite pleasure-filled, but still there was always an edge of uncertainty and lack of safety even in a cave.
So it’s only in fairly recent times that we have been able to practice sex in total safety and, even still, we don’t have total, total safety, but we’re pretty darn close.
Just continue reading we will soon get into the most sensitive body parts of women where you can touch to turn her on.
So there are three types of touch. The first framework is that everything you say and do wants to lead a woman to open up and get her sexually addicted to you.
You want to help her open up her pleasure. That should be your framework because if she’s feeling more pleasure in her body, you by definition will be feeling more pleasure in your body.
So it’s important to understand that it is hugely important to continue to expand pleasure.
So everything you do, everything you’re saying, is essentially leading her and encouraging her to open up to her sexual pleasure.
Now, of the three types of touch to arouse her sexually, one is called polarity touch.
Now polarity touch is where one person is giving the touch and the other is receiving the touch.
A lot of newbies mess this up. Let’s say you’re in bed with your lover and she is doing something to you, maybe she’s giving you a blow job or she’s massaging your shoulders or something, and there’s a part of you that’s ‘doing,’ because you may be porn performing.
You may think “This is what the porn guys do,” so you’re thinking a lot of BS in your head and you might be like,
“Oh, I need to make her gag on my cock.” Who knows, whatever the particular thing is, and so now you have her doing something and you doing something to her simultaneously.
This is the opposite of polarity touch. This is clashing touch where two people are giving or receiving at the same time.
Think of polarity touch like positives and negatives on a magnet. If I put the positive and negative poles opposite one another, they come together.
There’s a magnetic pull. That’s what polarity touch is. In essence, one person is doing the touch and the other person is receiving the touch and that is a powerful dynamic.
So one thing you want to be aware of is where you are in the cycle. Are you ‘doing,’ in which case you can encourage her to receive and let go, or are you ‘receiving,’ in which case you can encourage yourself to let go or she can encourage you to let go.
Letting go can be a real challenge, especially for men, but yet it’s such an important part when it comes to pleasing a woman sexually.
It can be easier for a woman, depending on what her past experience has been. If she’s had a lot of trauma or she is really insecure about her orgasm or insecure about her body, letting go will be really hard.
So that’s all the more reason to be aware of the dynamic of the polarity touch. Are you the person giving the touch? Then encourage her to receive the touch.
This is when two polarities repulse each other, like two magnets put together positive to positive or negative to negative.
It’s like when two people, let’s say you’re in a flow, start ‘doing the doing’ and you get into this clashing thing. It can get out of sync really quickly.
It can get actually somewhat discombobulating because it’s like, things get out of sync and neither person quite understands why.
Well, it’s likely that you’re in a clashing touch and you want to immediately switch over to a polarity touch.
Now a step beyond the polarity touch – it’s a little step deeper – and it’s the active/receptive touch, which is just . . . it’s just being open.
In other words, tuning yourself to receive more pleasure in your body or encouraging her to receive more pleasure in her body.
The active aspect of this would be the awareness or like the quality of intention of your touch. I’ll get a lot deeper into this in the later when we speak about sex and flow.
So sex and flow is really going to look at this issue of active/receptive touch but, for now, it’s similar to polarity touch, but it just has a certain intention behind it in your touch.
It may be that in your touch, your active touch is just encouraging her to open up her pleasure and encouraging her to receive and be open.
So these three types of sensitive touch are sort of working together with your overall framework of helping her open up to pleasure.
Flow touch is the sense of chi or water. In martial arts, they speak of the center point, but this is the point right below the belly button, about three inches below the navel, this is considered the power center.
This is kind of our source of chi and Taoism.
That’s the point, the dantian point where there’s a sense of power being cultivated, and then you direct the flow of that chi or water through your hands to another person.
So if you have studied martial arts, then you can imagine that sense of chi or energy moving through your hands and I will sometimes conceive of that as water, just a water touch. So that’s flow. Flow is just, I’m aware of a movement of energy.
The best metaphor I can use is water. I’m imagining water flowing through my body, through my arms and when I touch her sexually with my flow touch, it’s as if I’m moving through water and my hands are projecting water, my fingertips are projecting water.
So this would be flow touch.
Energy touch is a little bit different in the sense that you want to think about something more subtle, like if you imagine the sense of vibration or your sense of life force, your sense of being alive, there may be a certain excitement, there may be a tingle in your body.
You can use the principle of the sun as a metaphor, like as if you’ve got a sun in your belly and from the sun you’re radiating out through your hands and you’re projecting that radiation through your hands or your cock into her body.
All of these exercises you’re going to use, so I’m breaking down the body. I’m breaking down these types of sexual touch, but then you’re going to actually use those on her both externally and internally.
Awareness touch is bringing the full focus of your attention and your awareness to the touching of her body so that you’re touching her body with your awareness before you actually touch her.
Now bear with me on this, just do this right now. Take your hand and start your hand about a foot away from your arm and slowly move your hand toward your arm and there will be a moment where you have a sense of the energy before your hand actually touches your arm.
When you feel that, just notice how far away that is for you. That could be anywhere from two feet away to an inch away, a quarter inch away.
It might be just hovering above your hair, but just be aware that there’s a feeling and you might just feel the heat of your hand, but there is a feeling of awareness of your touch before you actually make contact with the skin.
This is what awareness touch is and I use awareness touch all the time.
Now, I will get into this when we get into flow a little bit more deeply, but in essence, what you want to practice is being aware of your own touch an inch from your arm, two inches from your arm, a foot from your arm.
How far away can you get your hand before you become aware of the sense of consciousness or focus before you touch? That’s what I’m looking for.
I’m looking for awareness of your touch, focus of your touch before you actually touch, so your touch is very, very conscious.
Now there are all kinds of cool stuff you can do by just running your hands over her body without touching her and just ask her to close her eyes and if she is willing to relax into that, she could get very, very, very seduced.
Just from simply feeling you move your energy over her body. It’s very tingly, very subtle, and extremely exciting for her.
So I want you to practice flow touch again – just a quick reiteration, flow touch is more like water, like you’re projecting the force of water through your arms and your fingertips.
Energy touch is more like the solar principle of imagining a sun and energy of the sun, and kind of like projecting energy through your hand, so it’s less dense than the water, but it’s very tingly and vibrant and radiant.
Think of the radiance of the sun and projecting that through her. Then awareness touch is this focused touch.
It is the awareness of the touch before the actual touch occurs.
These three touches are going to be tools you’re going to use to touch her sexually and turn her on. That is the touch.
Any principle I teach you, think about. Is it flow touch? Is it energy touch? Is it awareness touch? You can use all three and you can alternate them, and they are amazing.
Of the touch that we’ve already laid out, there are four ways in which touch can occur. So there’s your touch on her for your pleasure.
In other words, it has nothing to do with her. She’s just in receptive mode. Her job is to just appreciate that you are getting off touching her body the way you want to touch her body.
Now, imagine, this is where that first piece I told you about comes in, where either you’ve got the polarized touch or you have the opposing touch – if I’ve got the polarity to my touch, then she’s in the receptive polarity and I’m just touching her and she’s getting off on me touching her.
Now, that is me touching her the way I want to touch her for my pleasure.
That’s what the touch is. That’s what the game is. That’s what you tell her, right?
Then there is another type of touch, which is you are touching her for her pleasure. This is where our communication skills, which I’m going to talk about in a little while, need to be strong.
You ask her dirty, sexual questions and listen as she communicates to you, “Faster, slower, harder, softer.
That’s perfect” where you’re touching for her pleasure. She is telling you specifically what she wants.
Perhaps you’ve discussed it ahead of time, but it’s totally about her pleasure and your touch is for her pleasure.
Now understand, this is what most people do, okay? That’s why we’re slowing this whole process down for you so you can become aware of what’s happening.
Most guys are touching her for their pleasure and she thinks you’re touching her for her pleasure and so everybody’s out of sync, and people get pissed off and girls get upset and pissed off, and they’re like,
“I don’t want to deal with this guy because he’s not paying any attention to me.”
Well, that’s because you’re using touch one, touching for your pleasure, and she’s expecting you to touch her for her pleasure.
Those two things are completely out of sync, and that’s the conflicting touch that I was speaking about earlier.
Now, the third type of touch is her touch for your pleasure. When she touches you for your pleasure, your job is to give her specifics about the ways that you want to be touched.
So this is really very, very simple. You want to communicate with her in simple ways saying, “This is what I like. This feels good. I really enjoy this.
I love that. Let’s do this. Let’s do that.” This is her touching you for your pleasure and this takes a certain amount of vulnerability, of you being open to communicate to her clearly what it is that you want, need, love, and desire.
This is you being vulnerable and saying, “I would really like you to touch me in this way.”
So the fourth touch is her touch on you for her pleasure.
In other words, you are in receptive mode. You just lie down, you receive, and she gets off on playing with you and your body and the way that brings her pleasure.
Your job is to just enjoy her getting off on playing with you.
That’s a fabulous way to go, and it just gives her total freedom to express her unbridled sexual feminine energy, her raw passionate energy, and do whatever she wants to do to you.
And your job is to just appreciate it and let her go and stay out of her way as she plays with you.
Use any two of these touch methods and you have an amazing evening.
Take any one of them and you have an amazing evening. These are the four types of awareness and touch, and these are very powerful and people get them wrong all the time.
So lots of sexual stress and girls feeling dissatisfied with their men come from not being aware of these four types of touch.
So I want you to study this. I want you to think about it. Make it real for you. Think about how you can understand this in a way and use it tonight.
There are two essential types of applications of all of these touch skills that we’re talking about.
Basically, there’s applying these skills inside, in other words inside her body, and this is about touch that is about putting anything, any part of you, inside of her body, and then there’s outside touch and outside touch is touching anything outside of her body.
Now you have all these different ways to touch her both inside and outside of her body. Let’s talk a little bit more about these.
So inside touch could use any one of these touches; you could use water touch, flow touch, awareness touch, but you want to touch inside her mouth, like you could reach in and touch the inside of her mouth, her tongue, her throat.
You can touch her ass. So if you’re using a finger, for example, you can touch with an energy touch first to warm up the extremely sensitive spots of her body because just jumping right into the ass, that is not really the way to go.
You want to really make sure she’s relaxed because any kind of ass play can feel amazing or terrible depending on how tense or relaxed somebody is.
So inside touch inside her vagina – whether you’re playing with her G-spot, eating her pussy, or stimulating her clitoral legs – you have a way of understanding her body and bringing awareness to the touch of how you touch her vagina inside, all the way to her cervix, and beyond.
There’s also inside the nose. Some women enjoy maybe a tongue inside the nose or a finger inside the nose or the pinching of the nostril or like a finger inside with stroking the tip of the nose, because this is erectile tissue.
The ears, the ear holes, sticking fingers in the ears, blocking out sound.
All of these are sort of what I would call internal touch, and also, the interesting thing about blocking sound out is that leads her to go more internal.
Outside touch is basically everything else. It’s her skin, her hair, her lips, the little hairs on the back of her neck, the little hairs at her lower back, the labia, the labia majora, the labia minora, using the inner lips and the outer lips, being aware that there’s different ways you can touch and massage these sensitive parts of the body.
There are the general erogenous zones of a woman. These are the backs of the knees that crease where the shape of her butt connects to her thigh, that little crease that gets very little attention.
There are all these really beautiful and sensitive places to touch a woman: her wrists, her palms, her fingers, her feet, her toes.
All of these things can be very, very awesome to touch and explore. Any of her erectile tissues, like I said, the tip of the nose, her nipples, her lips, her pussy lips, these all fill with blood and they have a tremendous amount of sensation.
So how you can touch them with all the different kinds of awareness of touch, you can practice this and apply these both inside her body and outside her body.
Skin, hair, we talked about all these things. You can bring your energy, your flow, your awareness touch, any of these touches can work outside of her body.
I can, for example, project that solar energy through my chest and I can run it through my hands and I can touch, for example, the back of her neck or I could touch her labia.
I could touch her nipples with a flow or an awareness touch. So I don’t even touch her nipples but I just start sensing her energy before my hands even get there.
This becomes intensely powerful. So it’s like an ultra-light aware touch and you can sample these things.
For, example, you could, at different times, start at the nipples with awareness touch, but then at some point you bring energy to them.
You really focus that intense energy. Or with your palm on her entire breast, you can project water through your hands and imagine water massaging her breasts.
By the way, just a note, guys suck at this in that they tend to become grabby. Please avoid grabby touch.
Grabby touch just sucks. Stay away from it. Grabby touch, when you go “Boobies,” and you just start flapping like a baby seal.
All of this touch is taking you to the level of sexual superhero touch. and sexual superheroes, for the most part, don’t grab unless that’s a very specific technique you are consciously trying to go for.
Stay away from grabby. They’re not balloons. You don’t milk them. She’s not a cow.
What if you bring, for example, awareness touch to her vagina or to the opening of the vagina first, and then as you bring your fingers inside and you’re sliding them in, you’re sliding them in with total awareness.
You’re sensing the inside of her pussy before you actually get there and then you’re bringing your fingers inside slowly, slowly, slowly with just total awareness feeling inside and controlling her mind.
Now once you’re inside, you may switch to more of an energy flow.
I’ll go from awareness to energy where I’m imagining that solar energy flowing through my chest, flowing through my hand, focused on my middle finger as I begin to massage her G-spot very slowly at first, but I’m bringing like a fire or an electricity to the energy touch.
So maybe you’re using sun, but maybe you’re using lightning. You’re thinking of more of an electric touch.
That’s what that’s all about.
The water touch, as I move deeper inside of her vagina with my fingers, let’s say, I might project that water touch all the way through her womb.
So it’s like the water is penetrating through her. The other thing is you can do this with your cock of course. You can do the exact same thing. Take that sense of the sun, the radiant sunshine.
Move it down your spine and your belly through your cock and imagine all of that radiant energy just penetrating all the way through her body all the way up to her brain.
This is an amazing experience and women, I’m not going to describe the mechanics, I don’t even care, it just works.
Why it works, how it works, this is not what we’re about here.
Just play the sexual game and enjoy it because it’s interesting and it’s different from anything she’s ever felt.
When most guys have sex with a woman, they’re using porn touch and they’re in the attitude of, “This is all about me for my pleasure” and they’re using her essentially as a receptacle.
So women are very used to this. So just by shifting your attitude just slightly, you literally have moved into the top 5% of all lovers in America just like that. In the world, right?
The routines that most men do are so predictable and women are just like, “Oh, okay. Well there’s that again. That’s disappointing.”
I will stop here. I believe you loved reading this article on how to touch a woman sexually to turn her on.
My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!