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Every male wishes to be an amazing lover in bed. But the problem for most men is not having the capacity to last longer in bed. In other words, most men lack sexual stamina and endurance.
If this is your situation, do not worry or even if it’s not this definitive guide on increasing male sexual stamina will help you to achieve this amazing goal.
It’s because it is thoroughly researched and full of deep insights on male sexual stamina and endurance.
So, let’s begin.
Stimulating the prostate is a good place to start. Why? Because as I mentioned in one of my article here.
“The Ins and Outs of Holding Back: Mastering ‘Injaculation’,” the prostate is similar to the female G-spot – the area is a bundle of super-sensitive nerves and this makes stimulating this area extremely pleasurable.
Some guys shy away from prostate stimulation because obviously the best way to stimulate this area is via the anus. What can I say?
If you ARE hung up about this area (and believe me there is no reason whatsoever why you should be), it might be worthwhile getting a willing partner to explore the area (perineum, anal opening) for you maybe when giving oral sex (eating her pussy).
Sex toys aren’t just for solo play – more on that later…
Probably the best position for prostate stimulation via the anus is with you lying on your back with your knees bent.
This leaves you free to play with your penis with your other hand while you stimulate your prostate or free to play with yourself while your partner works on the prostate.
If fingers are going to be used, then it’s important that fingernails are cut short to avoid pain from scratches and also reduce the transmission of bacteria.
Some people use latex gloves for anal play to keep it ultra-safe. That is my personal preference with anal play – that way I can totally relax.
With any form of anal play, lube is absolutely vital to make sure there is no friction, pain, or tearing of delicate tissue.
So make sure you have plenty of anal lube on hand and choose a thick one specially formulated for anal play wherever possible.
During masturbation, and when you are very aroused, you or a partner can slowly, gently slip a finger into the anus.
It can take a couple of seconds to ‘get in to’ the sensation – but once you do – and relax into it, it can be out of this world, taking you to extraordinary levels of relaxation and bliss.
Start by stimulating the anal opening to relax and arouse the whole area.
Make sure your partner knows how far to enter the anus and roughly where the prostate is situated ahead of time, so you can focus purely on your pleasure.
If you’re with a partner, I suggest that with the finger inserted into the anus, your partner makes a sort of ‘come hither’ gesture with the finger to stimulate the prostate.
Continue to rub the penis while you or your partner move the finger in and out slowly at first, then faster and more forcefully as the sensation feels better and better.
Alternate between the gentle thrusting movements and the ‘come hither’ finger action.
It may feel as if you need to urinate or have a bowel movement at first but you won’t.
It’s just a part of the anal stimulation process and the feeling will pass once you relax into the process.
Breath control can help you relax – take slow controlled breaths (circular breath works best for this) and make sure you don’t hold your breath as this may inadvertently cause you to tense up, turning the pleasure down.
If anal play really is a no-no for you, it is possible to stimulate the prostate without entering the anus.
Applying pressure to the area behind the testicles and the anus along the perineum and massaging this area can stimulate the prostate, but the truth is that it isn’t as effective as entering the anal opening.
Also, once you have strengthened your PC muscles, you can stimulate the prostate simply through contractions.
I have brought myself to ejaculation – without touching myself – by stimulating the prostate with PC muscle contractions.
It’s a pretty amazing experience and strong PC muscles also lead to increased male sexual endurance and stamina during sex.
Prostate massage and stimulation – Explosive orgasms like never before
There are various sex toys on the market that aim to stimulate the prostate.
Start with something small if you are nervous about anal play. If you like it, you can always work your way up!
Also, make sure your sex toys for anal play have a flared base – the anal sphincter has natural and strong suction action.
Nobody wants to have to make an embarrassing trip to the emergency room to pull some foreign object out yo’ ass.
The company has been going since 1997 and specializes in creating sex toys that they have tried and tested themselves!
The Bean Plug is a great anal toy to choose if you are new to prostate massage.
It’s small and curved in design – ideal for beginners to learn how to stimulate the prostate. You can move onto other toys after starting out with the Bean Plug.
Sex toys that stimulate the prostate are generally curved or have a feature that sticks out from the shaft in order to access the sensitive prostate area.
A good one will have been designed with the male anatomy in mind.
The Aneros Prostate Massager has been designed to ‘convert the sphincter’s natural contractions into a simultaneous prostate and perineum stimulation.’
The Fleshlight is basically a toy that stimulates sexual intercourse. It’s called the Fleshlight because, when not in use, it looks like an ordinary fleshlight.
There are various designs, one replicates the vagina, another the mouth, and another the anus.
These products come highly recommended for the very realistic experience they can provide of oral, anal, or vaginal sex.
One of the Fleshlight products is called the Stamina Training Unit and this is a great product to use when you are learning the techniques of advanced male masturbation.
Practicing the techniques I outlined in my article here – “The Secret To Stamina” while jerking off is one thing, but practicing them when using a Fleshlight toy will really help you on your way to peak sexual performance.
The experience is so real that, with practice, you’ll be able to translate your mastery techniques successfully into ‘real life’ sex.
What’s so good about this product is that it takes the pressure completely off, so you can experiment, train yourself, and feel free to have as much fun as you like in the process.
This also helps with a problem I discussed earlier – you don’t want your partner to feel that she is something you are practicing and experimenting on.
When you are engaged with your partner to please her sexually, you want to be there fully in the moment with her and not going over rules and techniques in your mind.
It’s the perfect way to train yourself to be a better lover, by trial and error.
And this way, it’s all just between you and your Fleshlight, eliminating any embarrassing encounters in bed.
Cock rings are quite simply rings that are placed around the penis most often at the penis’s base.
The aim is to slow down the blood flow in order to keep an erection harder for longer.
They can work but training yourself with my methods is far more worthwhile in the long term.
Cock rings come in various forms – some singular, some in sets so you can encircle the testicles as well.
Some vibrate, some have attachments that aim to stimulate the clitoris or the anus and some even glow in the dark!
Vibrating cock rings are best discussed beforehand and explored with a partner – since they can be quite a shock if you don’t know what’s coming.
You can have a lot of fun with cock rings, and for anyone who has trouble maintaining an erection, they can be a good starting place to getting your confidence back.
What’s the buzz?
Vibrators as sex toys are usually thought to be a ‘female only domain,’ but the fact is that there are many vibrating products on the market designed for enhancing sexual pleasure and male sexual stamina.
Male vibrators can be used on the penis, testicles, and anal opening or internally inside the anal passage. Types of male vibrators include:
Vibrating cock rings – different than regular non-vibrating cock rings that are designed to prolong erections, these toys provide a hands-free way to add vibration to solo sex play or sex play with a partner.
Vibrating sleeves or masturbators – these are usually designed for the man to insert his penis inside of; made from realistic materials, many are made to look like the female vagina, anus, or mouth. The Fleshlight is one well-known example of a vibrating sleeve.
Anal vibrators – designed to be inserted into the anus to stimulate the anal passage and/or the prostate.
It can be difficult for some men to get past the idea that vibrators are just for women or not for straight men, but the fact is that vibrators are for anyone who is interested in exploring and enhancing sexual pleasure.
Any man who has gotten past these ideas will confirm that male vibrators are an excellent way to provide extra stimulation and that they can give you and a partner lots of new and fun ways to enjoy sexual play.
A 2009 study titled Prevalence and characteristics of vibrator use by men in the United States and carried out by Indiana University looked at the prevalence of vibrator use amongst males in the United States, the personality characteristics of men who use vibrators, and the relationship between vibrator use and male sexual function.
A total of 1047 US men in the age range of 18-60 were questioned on their use of vibrators and the results were affirming to say the least.
When the results were published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, it was shown that 44.8% of men had used vibrators at some point in their sex lives (solo or partnered) and that 10% had done so in the last month.
Another interesting finding in this study was that sexual orientation didn’t factor at all, with no statistical differences found in any group – be that heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.
What’s more, the study found that those who had used vibrators most recently were also more likely to engage in sexual, health-positive behaviors such as self-examination of the testicles.
This suggests perhaps that a positive, healthy attitude toward sex play also encourages awareness of the importance of overall sexual health.
And if that still doesn’t convince you, then men who used vibrators also reported better levels of sexual desire and erectile function, better satisfaction during intercourse, and better orgasmic function!
Vibrating cock rings
Vibrating cock rings allow for hands-free vibration during solo or partnered sex play and are basically a ring made of stretchy silicone, rubber, or even leather that fits onto the base of the penis or a dildo.
Some rings fit behind the testicles some in front so it’s a matter of personal choice when it comes to choosing one for you.
Most are battery operated and provide pleasurable vibrating sensations when switched on.
However be aware that some vibrating rings only provide short-term or single use benefits; some last for just 30 minutes.
Cock rings enhance sexual pleasure for the male wearing the device during masturbation or for both partners during intercourse, depending on the product’s design.
The trade off with vibrating cock rings is that often the bulkier types provide more intense vibrations and thus give more pleasure because they use bigger motors.
Smaller more discreet products may not be to every person’s taste or satisfaction levels but can be less cumbersome in design.
Most vibrating cock rings are made to fit the average man, however if you are slightly narrower or wider than average make sure you choose an adjustable ring.
Too big and the product will move around too much, too small and it could hurt – you don’t want to wind up feeling more irritated than aroused by the device.
The size of the motor is less of an issue if you are using the product for your own pleasure.
All you need to do is place the motor where you know it will feel good for you.
Starting solo can be a good way to get used to playing with cock rings and gives you the opportunity to experiment without any added pressure.
If using a cock ring with a partner, it may be better to choose one that has two vibrating motors even though these tend to be on the bulkier side.
These will provide better satisfaction for both partners.
If using a single-motor vibrating ring, sexual positions where the wearer of the cock ring is on the bottom will provide the best sensations for both partners as they provide better contact for both partners.
Start off slowly…
Anal vibrators can be used to explore the perineum and anal opening without penetration if so desired, although it could be argued that any vibrator designed for male or female use could be used for this purpose.
The outer part of the anus (i.e. the bit you can see and touch) is full of ultra-responsive nerve endings that feel immensely good when stimulated.
If you’re nervous about exploring this part of your body, start off slowly.
Choose a vibrator that is safe and suitable for anal use; vibes made of silicone are a good bet as they feel soft and comfortable and can be used internally if you choose to go further.
Use the vibe solo or with a partner and explore the surrounding area of your inner thighs, lower back, and butt cheeks…move on to the perineum and anus if it feels good.
Many vibes have varying levels of pulsation, so start slowly and go gently on sensitive areas like the testicles – you can always ramp it up as you become more aroused.
If you wish to stimulate the prostate, sometimes known as the male G-spot, then anal penetration is the best way to go and you’ll need a device specifically designed for this particular use.
Buy a well-known brand that is most of all going to be safe.
Many anal vibrators are curved in design rather than straight to maximize internal stimulation of the prostate and many are flexible as opposed to rigid.
This is a good toy to start with as it is made from FDA approved materials that are also easy to clean.
It’s smooth design and unique shape makes it a powerful toy to use if the pleasures of prostate stimulation are your goal.
What’s more, it features four levels of pulsation so you can work your way up to increased levels of stimulation and therefore orgasmic pleasure.
When it comes to anal penetration it’s important to take it easy and be patient – never force an object into the anus.
Make sure you are aroused enough and that you use a good water-based lubricant.
You may wish to begin with the vibrator turned off and just get used to the feel of it inside of you at first.
However if you think you are ready to go, put the vibe on its lowest pulsation level and stimulate the anal opening with the tip of the vibe for a few minutes or as long as it feels good.
As you become more turned on and relaxed, the vibrator should easily slip inside the anus.
Once inside you can play around with the pulsation speed or move the vibe around inside you – whatever feels good to you.
To specifically stimulate the prostate, or male G-spot, tilt the vibe towards your belly and then lie back and enjoy…
Never share sex toys unless they have been covered with a condom every time. For peace of mind, it’s far better and to keep your sex toys for yourself.
If you use your toys with a female partner, never insert a vibe into her vagina immediately after it has been used in the anus as this can cause infections.
And ALWAYS use loads of water-based lube, making sure that you replenish lube on the vibrator throughout the session if need be. Dry friction isn’t good.
There are many brands of lubricants on the market, all with their own benefits and weaknesses, so it is important to do your research, read around, examine labels, and be sure you have the right one for the different types of sexual exploration.
Basically, lubes come in 3 types: water-based, oil-based, or silicone-based.
Water-based lubes remain popular because they are often recommended by sex educators and are latex-friendly – meaning that they can be used with condoms.
However, water-based lubes can cause skin irritation, and for me, I personally think that when it comes to lubrication, the more natural the better.
My personal favorite lube is coconut oil. I have used it for years and years, mainly because it is pure and natural and there’s no icky stuff for the body to absorb.
If using with a long-term partner, natural lube like coconut oil makes an excellent choice because it is less likely to irritate sensitive tissue.
An important point to consider however is that coconut oil, and indeed all oil-based lubricants, can weaken latex condoms causing them to split, so they must not be used if it is necessary for you to use condoms, diaphragms, or other sexual aids like vaginal or anal dams.
For anal play, coconut oil does not have enough viscosity. When going for anal play, thick lube is absolutely vital for protecting the thinner anal tissues and makes penetration easier.
Make sure you do your homework and choose a lube that is suitable for anal play if that is your intention.
A new, vibrating, handheld device for men has hit the news recently as it is the first of its kind to be approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA).
Viberect aims to help men with mild to moderate erectile dysfunction (ED) achieve and maintain an erection. And even better, it promises to deliver stronger and more powerful orgasms!
The device is suitable for men experiencing ED and for those with spinal injuries or recovering from a prostatectomy, the surgical removal of all or part of the prostate gland.
It works by stimulating the nerves of the penis and needs to be used 7-10 minutes before sexual intercourse.
Viberect gives the penis repetitive and rapid stimulation in the way that a sphincter or hand can, making sure that blood can flow to the penis and an erection can be achieved.
The medical community feels that this is a safe device and a viable alternative to ED medication like Viagra, which isn’t suitable for everyone. And early reports from testers suggest that orgasms achieved using the Viberect are “greatly amplified.”
I thought I would share a bit about this very misunderstood subject, since it is indirectly related to self-pleasure.
We live in a culture where a stiff cock means everything. However, thinking a stiff cock is all there is – and that something is wrong if it ain’t – is like trying to inhale all the time. You can’t. We need the inhale and the exhale.
It was through Tantra practices that I first noticed the sexual exhale that I call ‘soft penetration.’ It was something that occurred naturally and often.
That is to say, when I was completely immersed in the energy of the moment, my cock wasn’t always hard. I began referring to this as my lunar cock – the opposite of a solar cock.
Instead of it being fully locked, loaded, and ready to squirt, it tended to be soft, receptive, ready for openness.
This especially happened when I took the emphasis off placing object A into slot B – and began spreading powerful pleasure feelings throughout my body.
I noticed as I became less erection-focused that there was a vulnerability that opened up in my body-feeling world.
Something shifted into a lot more openness. For me, this was more of a receptive, subtle, sex-energy experience.
In this sense, I had the feeling of openness, relaxation, freedom from performance tension. I could breathe with my lover and experience a flow of powerful sexual energy.
Here’s where it gets interesting. By taking the focus off that tiny ‘exact’ pleasure point on the hard penis and extending the sensations of bliss and pleasure throughout the entire body, we can feel a connectedness between cock, heart, and head.
Furthermore, a man in this altered state can soften further and let his partner energetically penetrate him – while the partner imagines his or her sexual energy entering the softness and penetrating all the way into his brain.
This can be done body to body, or by projecting energy through the hands.
I call this soft, penetrative sex, energetic pleasure sex. It’s very sweet and delicious.
And if a man can relax into it, he can directly experience his own vulnerability and share that with his lover.
It’s really a beautiful thing and often overlooked in the days of the 4-hour Viagra cock.
When it comes to soft penetration, think meditation. Think restorative sex. Think breath, sound, energetic penetration, movement, vulnerability, and openness.
Think slow yoga.
Also think oxytocin. It’s a great way to deepen our connection and bond with our lovers.
As science understands the mechanics of pleasure, sex, and masturbation, we will more clearly understand the infinite ways that pleasure intimately links within our brains.
Brain sex is where it will be. Sex with machines, too.
Even today there are stories of people who have fallen in love with computer chat bots that they thought were real people.
Toward that end, there is one company attempting to stay on the cutting edge of virtual sex and masturbation – Real Touch.
Real Touch is an interactive masturbator for men. The Real Touch offers the experience of realistic oral, vaginal, and anal sex.
It’s programmed to sync up the sensations of the machine with videos that you watch on your computer.
Real Touch uses haptic technology (the kind of stuff you find on cell phones) to recreate the sensations experienced during sex.
The way the technology works allows you not only to see your favorite action on the screen, but you can also feel it on your cock. It’s a kind of interactive virtual sexual reality – and I do see this as the way of the future.
Skype is an amazing piece of technology – which I personally love. Skype sex is another kind of solo sex that can be witnessed by another.
The ease of Skype, along with the simplicity of the technology – and of course the fact that it is free to call another Skype user – makes Skype a favorite tool for male masturbation.
It’s safe sex, but with the ability to connect and share with another person.
Masturbation is essential to physical and mental well-being – and emerging technologies like Skype make the impossible possible.
We can connect over oceans, thousands of miles, and have an intimate interaction across the globe.
To me, this is a beautiful thing.
Till then, I can dream.
#21. Self-Pleasure and the Universe
Wrapping up this amazing article on male stamina, I want to end with the following thought.
Some of my most memorable self-pleasure experiences have come to me while I was out in nature.
There was one evening when I found myself on the side of a mountain, sitting in hot springs, staring out at the stars. These springs were truly amazing.
In the pitch black of night, I could feel my body getting lost in the infinite expanse of the universe. I began to self-pleasure – with my eyes open – staring at the universe.
I felt my body completely disappear, and I found myself floating in pure pleasure – a field of pure bliss.
My orgasm led me to this experience of relaxed floating in space. I felt like the experience went on for hours, though I don’t really know for sure.
I tell you this story only to suggest to you that the universe of pleasure is a spectacular one, one that is filled with possibilities and potentialities to continue to have pleasurable experiences to blow your load – and your mind.
I always say, When it comes to masturbation and pleasure – think big!
So there you have it. A breakdown of everything you now need to do to become a better lover and experience more satisfying and more intense orgasms.
As I said at the beginning, our lives should include the experience of the heights of pleasure – we all know that life can be testing and troublesome at times so we need to balance that out with as much of the good stuff as we can create.
And I believe sex is one of the best, healthiest, safest, totally free experiences we can have.
Enjoy your journey to better orgasms and remember the KEY secrets:
Relax into the experience.
Make some noise.
Let your body move and shake naturally.
I will stop here. If you really enjoyed this definitive guide on increasing male sexual stamina then you’ll also love my powerful recommendations below.
My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!