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Except, I am not telling you that you absolutely must walk away. Eventually, you may have to – but that’s not the point in your relationship that I’m talking about here.
Instead, the point at which this advice should be taken is from the early stages through when a decision has to be made.
It is the same as the hunter and the prey – if the hunter thinks that at any moment the prey might fly away or run off into the woods, he’s going to be riveted to its every movement.
You need to take the opportunity to lead by example
If on the other hand he knows that his prey is used to his presence, he’s not going to be so careful, and he won’t have any incentive to watch it too closely.
He can take his time, look away, maybe even just let it go for a while longer. After all, it isn’t like it’s going anywhere.
So it is how you must act towards the man whose commitment you want – and thus, how he will act in response to your behavior.
When he knows that by taking you for granted he might lose you altogether, then he’s going to make sure to show you how much he values you.
Once he sees this in you on a consistent basis, he is going to realize that he has to win your love, not just assume he has it and this will make him want you back more.
However, this isn’t about playing games. It is not about “punishing” him for something he does or says.
And it’s not about throwing it in his face that you have the upper hand. A long-term relationship is a democracy, not a dictatorship!
The best way to show him that you could leave at any moment is by letting him know that you are with him because you CHOOSE to be with him, not because you need him and this little gestures will make him want you bad.
This is yet another weapon in your arsenal that requires a delicate balance. And this is because, due to his insecurity and desire for respect, the decision to be with you has to be his idea.
So, it’s not exactly like you can advertise that being with him is some great gift to him. He’s not going to respond well to that.
So instead, you need to take the opportunity to lead by example, so to speak. But, how do you do that, exactly? Let’s go over some ways.
Choose YOURSELF. If you show him that you trust, love and respect yourself, he is going to follow suit.
On the other hand, if you treat yourself like crap, what incentive does he have to treat you well? If you choose everyone else’s needs above your own, why would he put you first?
This means that you choose your own happiness – whether it is in your overall life goals, or in your choice of activities for the weekend.
Don’t be a martyr; stand up for what you want, and compromise or sacrifice only when it makes you genuinely glad to do so.
Which brings me back to the independence you’ve been cultivating. When you are independent, you make your own decisions.
You are your own boss! And you are not going to follow someone blindly simply because you’re smitten. You do what is best for you, not what other people tell you is best.
Once he sees this in you on a consistent basis, he is going to realize that he has to win your love, not just assume he has it.
And that is as powerful a need in him as you could hope for. But he has to see that if your needs are not being met, you have no trouble calling it a day.
This being said, I have some very important final words on this subject – and I beg you to pay attention.
There are three things you should NEVER, EVER DO in implementing this strategy.
#1 The first thing you should never, ever do is to deliver an ultimatum to him. NEVER, EVER DO THIS.
If you deliver an ultimatum – meaning, if you tell him to commit to you or else you walk – one of two things will happen.
He will take you up on your ultimatum, and commit to you. And he will always, always hold against you the fact that you made him do that, and didn’t respect or trust him to make the move himself.
So, in essence, you’re starting your new committed relationship with a power imbalance, and his silent grudge. How do you think that is going to work out for you?
#2 The second thing you should never, ever do is to be the girl who cried wolf. NEVER, EVER DO THIS.
You know the story about the boy who cried wolf, right? If not, here it is real quick: A young shepherd boy kept running into town to tell the villagers that a wolf was attacking his sheep.
The first time he did it, the villagers freaked out and ran to his aid, only to find that there was no wolf.
The second time, he had to work to convince them, but eventually they believed him – only to be tricked by him a second time.
Do you really want to be the one who makes him feel that way?
Then one day a wolf really was attacking his flock of sheep, but when he went into town for help, the villagers were having none of it – they had been fooled twice before, and wouldn’t fall for his trick again.
You can guess how that worked out for the boy – and his sheep.
You don’t want to cry wolf. In other words, don’t make empty threats.
The more you threaten to leave – and then DON’T leave, but instead stick around – the sooner he is going to ignore you, and chalk up your anger to instead a desire for attention, just as the villagers did to the shepherd.
#3 The third thing you should never, ever do is throw in his face how “lucky” he is to have you. NEVER, EVER DO THIS.
I understand completely that in a frustrating moment, the thought might pass through your mind that he is a freaking idiot if he doesn’t realize how good he has it with you.
But by giving voice to this thought, you are basically making the trifecta of mistakes.
First, you know who says things like “You don’t know how lucky you are?” A mom. A mother says this to her little boy who is whining about something.
The MOMENT you show him such disrespect, you’re not going to get much further with him. He’ll shut you out. He’ll leave you.
Second, by telling him this, you are inferring that there is something wrong with him, or that he is inferior in some way.
As you can imagine, this feeds his insecurity in the worst way – someone he loves is telling him he is a piece of crap, and that they are better than him.
Do you really want to be the one who makes him feel that way? And how much do you think he is going to want to be with someone who makes him feel that way? My guess is, not so much.
And third, as I’ve said a million times, men aren’t dumb.
Whether he figures it out himself or a buddy gives him the heads up, sooner or later the dots are going to be connected: If he is so inferior, then what the hell are you doing with him?
That’s the whole ball game – and you just lost and if he understands and admires your presence in his life. Then AWESOME have a wonderful life with him. GOD BLESS
I hope you found this article on how to make him want you amazing and useful.
Now before I conclude I would love to share with you something truly powerful which will change your life for GOOD and allow you to have the best relationship of your life.
If you’ve ever had a man reject you, break you heart, and pull away, you have to watch this short video right now.... it will permanently change your life for the better:
You’ll learn the mistakes women make that make men repulsed and leave... and you’ll learn a secret set of words that will send his pulse RACING with love and devotion for you (and only you).
My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on......and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other......My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other.And we’re just getting started!
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