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If you have been wondering how to trigger a man's hero instinct then this article is for you. To be honest literally cannot say this enough: He has to feel like he is chasing you in order for him to commit to you. The trick, of course, is to get the balance right.
To explain that balance, let’s talk about what the extremes are and how you can trigger your man's hero instinct by making him desire you and keeping the chase alive.
First, there is the extreme of being desperate and needy. I know those two words - “desperate” and “needy” - are not pretty ones.
No one wants to think of themselves as behaving that way. And they sure don’t want the man they’re trying to commit to to think about them that way. And frankly that's not something that men want in their women.
I mean, what do you think of when you think of someone who is desperate and needy?
You probably imagine some hilarious scene where a woman is grabbing onto a man’s ankles, begging him to love her. And he’s dragging her around, trying to pry her fingers from his leg.
The truth is that while even your move desperate behavior is more subtle than that, you know the intensity of the feeling is just the same. And it can reach extreme levels.
It is the feeling that makes you rationalize checking his Facebook when you haven’t heard from him.
And then maybe “liking” a status. Or leaving a comment. Not about why he hasn’t called, of course; just to let him know that you’re around.
Or when you know where he’s going to be, and oh! What a coincidence – you just so happen to need to be there as well.
Or when you are out with him and try your best to nail him down on when the next date will be.
Or when you call him just to make sure he didn’t call, because you didn’t have phone reception for a while.
And being a man myself I feel it's TOO open and man don't appreciate that. You need to be compelling and mysterious if you truly desire to trigger a man's hero instinct.
You can rationalize all you want, but constantly popping up on his radar is doing you exactly zero favors.
Instead, it is the exact opposite – you are appearing desperate and needy. And that is going to push him away.
On the other end of the spectrum is playing way, way too hard to get.
You need to realize the TRUTH that he needs to chase you and figure out the best way to capture you. It’s a challenge that a man feels in his very core, and it is what addicts him to you.
There are women who understand this well, and so they make themselves scarce. But sometimes they go too far, and make themselves too scarce.
They don’t just wait to respond to his calls or texts – they wait for weeks, and sometimes don’t even bother to reply.
Or they say they are busy nine out of ten times the man asks them out. Or they can even go so far as to ask friends to drop hints that maybe he is not the only man in their life.
But that doesn’t work – Believe me?
When you make a man work to earn you, you are triggering that age-old chase instinct in him - and he responds to it gladly. But, really think about it in terms of a hunter and his prey.
Let’s say a hunter is gathering up his equipment to head out for a hunt. And while he is doing so, his prey comes right into the camp, sidles up to him, and nuzzles him.
Will he capture it? Probably. But he was all geared up for the chase, and now his desires have been dashed.
And there is even a chance that he will shoot it away, so that he could resume the chase as he had wanted to in the first place.
Then, let’s say that he is out hunting, and he spies his prey. It’s wily, and fast, and it poses a great challenge for him. He’s having a lot of fun. But it keeps getting too far away.
The hunter will wait around for a good long while to see if the prey reappears.
But, he’s not going to wait around forever. After too long, he’ll figure that it went too far away to be hunted – or maybe another hunter nearby got it, and he’s waiting around for nothing.
This is what I mean when I say that you have to achieve a balance. It is absolutely crucial that he works to get you, so that he feels like he has earned you.
But stray too far, and he’ll lose interest, because he’s not going to play a game he can’t win.
So now that we know a little bit more about what this balance should and should not look like, how do we achieve that balance with the man in our life?
The good news is that there is a lot you can do to achieve it. The bad news is that none of it is an exact science. That is because every couple’s dynamic is different.
While all men do need to work for your love and affection, there are different levels at which he will feel the most intrigued – as well as the level where he feels trapped, and the level where he feels it is no longer worth the work.
And you are unique as well. Whatever attracted him to you in the first place is your own distinct combination of looks and personality.
You can’t all of a sudden change your behavior simply because you read in a book that exactly this or that should happen at exactly this or that point in the relationship.
You have to take the advice, but also learn how to adapt it to your own situation. So with that caveat in mind, let’s take a look at how you can keep him working to earn our commitment.
My advice for communicating with him using any gadget, device or computer is simple: Step away from the keyboard.
Look, I as well as every other woman on earth knows all too well that thrill you get when you see his name on your phone, whether it’s a call or a text.
He’s thinking of you! He wants to talk to you! He likes you – he really, really likes you!
And after checking your phone and emails every 15 seconds for the last three days, your first thought is, FINALLY!!
But when this has happened to you in the past, how many times have you moved heaven and earth to pick up the call, or write him right back?
How often have you cut off a conversation with a friend mid-sentence to answer him?
How about lying to whomever you’re with about an “urgent call” you have to take, and leave them sitting alone while you talk to him – only to come back to them, completely distracted and ignoring them, because you are replaying every word he wrote or said?
No, of course you’ve never done those things.
Look, don’t beat yourself up about it. Remember, you need to love yourself the most, and part of loving yourself is forgiving yourself when you’ve done something a little desperate.
But make a promise to yourself that from now on, you won’t be at his beck and call every single time. You have your own schedule, and your own life to live.
There’s no need to change your whole life around just to accommodate him whenever he decides he’s going to get in touch with you.
After all, he only does so when it is convenient for him. You do the same.
Don’t always be available for every call and text. Take your time when responding to him. It’s not a national emergency!
And the more you play the game by your own rules, the more attention he will give to how and when he contacts you.
# Public Displays of Affection
Men like to be physically close to women they’re attracted to. So, it’s normal that he would show you public displays of affection. And it means a lot to him, and assuages his insecurity, when you reply in kind.
But all too often, we use “casual” touches in one of two absolutely wrong ways:
1. We grab a hold of him to let other women know that he’s “ours.” 2. We find ways to touch him way too often because we want him to think about us physically.
Neither of these are done consciously, but neither of them are good. It smacks of desperation, which is a turn-off.
You’re like the prey coming into camp and nuzzling him! Where’s the work in that? Where’s the chase?
Of course, as with other mistakes women can make, there is the other extreme – to flinch away from his touch, or to become shy and prudish every time he tries to bust a move.
A lot of women think this makes him want to keep trying until you respond. But remember what we said about his insecurity?
His insecurity tells him that you are rejecting him. So, sure, he might try a few more times; but eventually he’ll think that you literally do not want to be touched, and he will give up.
That’s not chasing! That’s disappearing, so to speak. And when a hunter’s prey disappears, he gives up the chase.
So, as with everything else we’ve discussed in this section, there is a happy medium.
First and foremost, read the signs he is sending you. If you see that he is playing it calm and cool, follow his lead.
If he is being playful and affectionate, follow that lead as well – just make sure that you don’t up the game by falling all over him.
You know the phrase, “Give an inch, and they take a mile?” Don’t let that phrase pertain to you.
So, in the end if you want to learn how to trigger a man's hero instinct or chase instinct, it's all maintaining the BALANCE with him without being obvious, keeping the mystery alive, not being needy and clingy and giving him the required space.
I will stop here, but before I stop I would love to SHARE with you a powerful system that can ENHANCE your Dating and Relationship Skills and take it to another level.
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Spontaneously quit seeing all other women so he can chase after YOU...
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!
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