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How to get a guy to commit to you. If you've met someone recently or you're already in relationship with someone this article is for you.
Note that it's not easy to control a man's mind and get him addicted to you especially in young age. So if you're facing this commitment issue from him, don't worry. The good thing is today you'll discover exactly how to get a guy to commit and wrap him around your fingers for life long.
Note that very high value men, and particularly guys with options, are used to women fawning all over them and offering them the world.
So it doesn’t matter how pretty you are or how good in bed you think you are; to get a REALLY high value guy (or an extremely commitment phobic one, or a guy with a lot of options, or a player) to actually WANT to slow down and focus on you, you’ve got to unlike the others.
To make him chase you and emotionally connect with you. You’ve got to prove that you are NOT NEEDY, you are INDEPENDENT, and – key – that you’re not bowled over by him and more importantly you understand him.
And that means you’ve got to PROVE that you don’t need him; that you like being who you are; that here you are and it doesn’t get any better than this.
So you want to just casually say things like,
‘Why is everything even MORE fun when you’re around?’
‘I feel like you’re my equal.’
‘I like how you don’t need me to be available to you all the time.’
‘I like how you aren’t NEEDY.’
‘I love how I can just be who I am and you’re cool with that.’
‘It’s super important to me to have freedom to live how I want to live and do the things I love, and one of the things I like most about you is that you always give me the space to live my own life.’
‘I don’t think I could ever be with someone who made me into their number one priority. That would be crazy! It’s like a recipe for neediness.’
‘I don’t understand these clingy girls out there. Don’t they have anything better going on in their lives?’
All of these phrases are CASUAL, LIGHT, and FUN (key! Don’t get heavy!)
But they’re also carefully designed to present you as non needy and independent.
To a guy with options, there is nothing sexier and more appealing than a woman who ISN’T desperate to lock him down.
Plus, these aren’t phrases as such, but make sure you talk with ENTHUSIASM and EXCITEMENT about the amazing things and at the same time appreciate him to make him feel like a king. But make the appreciation is genuine and not fake.
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Now, if you work in the postal sorting department ninety hours a week and your life literally consists of going to work, sorting mail, going home, eating beans, and sleeping, then it may be time for a life upgrade.
Why? Well, because I want you to have an awesome life no matter what but, since this is a book about men and commitment and love, I’ll talk in the context of men and commitment and love.
And great men want a woman who leads a great life with or without him in it.
High quality men like women who DO things and who live a life they are INSPIRED by.
So, if you love your job, talk about how awesome it is.
Talk about challenges that excite you.
Use words like ‘amazing’, ‘opportunity’, ‘independent’, etc.
Heck, talk about building an empire. Independent men are strongly drawn to independent women.
NOTE: this is not about not liking him or acting aloof or standoff fish.
If you like a guy, and you’ve got at least some level of rapport going on, then you can (and should!) be as enthusiastic as you want and vocal about how much pleasure (social,sexual, whatever) he gives you just from being around.
But you want to salt LOTS of comments about your own amazing life (that has nothing to do with him) into the conversation.
This piques his interest, shows him that you are a challenge, and ALSO sets you apart from other women because most other women, when confronted with an amazing man, become totally clingy and freaked out and drive him AWAY by trying to lock him down.
Act like you prize your freedom (and honestly? You really should anyway) and it has a funny effect: it makes him want to take that freedom away.
How to make a guy want YOU over anyone else
Well those are at the core of making any man see YOU as the one woman he could ever see himself being with.
Use these phrases and you will quickly start to become his favorite person.
He will start voluntarily saying things like, ‘I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone in the entire world like you before’ and ‘you’re the only person I’ve ever felt totally comfortable opening up to like this’.
Because these trigger phrases create a DEEP emotional connection with a man by appealing to his evolutionary wiring - the way he is made as a man.
Ideal things to talk about to trigger a guy’s masculine wiring and pleasure instincts:
How SAFE he makes you feel (masculine)
How turned on you get when he’s around
How you can’t think straight when he’s nearby
How loved he makes you feel
How much he makes you SMILE
How he doesn’t have to DO anything, he just has to turn up and say anything at all and a huge smile creeps across your face.
How much PLEASURE he gives you
How every time you think about him you get butterflies tingling in your stomach.
How much you can’t wait to be wrapped in his strong arms again.
How to get him to upgrade the relationship
You know what reverse psychology is, right? Good.
But just in case, reverse psychology is when you manipulate someone into wanting What you want them to want (phew) by acting like the OPPOSITE is true.
It’s sneaky, but highly effective.
You have to understand that most men are conditioned to believe that all women are crazy to move the relationship forward as fast as possible.
So most guys are on red alert for any kind of ‘upgrading’ type conversation, because they feel like what most women want is the STATUS of a long term relationship, instead of actually wanting him for himself.
This is why the following phrases work so damn well because by pulling away verbally a little bit, you leave him the room to come forward, the emotional space to WANT you to come forward, and you trigger his natural hunter’s instinct.
Now obviously this isn’t going to work if you’ve only been on one or two dates with a guy, because that would just be weird and unnatural and will probably end up driving him further away.
But, in a case where you’ve been waiting patiently for a man to upgrade the relationship and it’s just not happening on its own, these will work perfectly.
So you can say things like …
I’m scared this is going too fast.
I’m scared you’re falling for me.
I really like you, but I’m not ready to be your girlfriend.
I love our chemistry but I don’t want things to get too intense.
I like you fine, but I have no idea what’s going to happen in future and I can’t make any promises.
I don’t want things to get too serious between us.
I just want to have fun right now.
The formula is simple: a little comment about how much you like him, and then follow it up with a comment about how you DON’T want more.
You want to HINT at how much fun he is, and then say something that shows you are not angling for more. Reverse psychology.
Now, in the interests of total transparency, I can’t guarantee this will work EVERY time, because some guys really just do want a one night stand or a booty call and nothing will ever change that.
In which case you wouldn’t make a good match anyway, if you want genuinely want more and he just can’t get out of the juvenile player state.
The good news is though, there are PLENTY of amazing guys out there who just need a little ‘nudge’ and these phrases will help clear the logjam and get him moving in the right emotional direction.
Fear of loss is a powerful thing 😉
How to make him WANT to do what you want him to do
(for couples in long term exclusive relationships only)
Look, I’ll be frank: if you’re just dating a guy casually, you don’t want to use these phrases. It’s way too weird and ‘comfy’.
But if you’re seriously WITH a guy, there are probably going to be times when you’re going to want to sway his opinion a little bit more your way.
And these phrases use the ‘sugar logic trap’ to make him WANT to do what you want him to.
Let’s start off with a few examples:
Sarah: ‘I need you out of the house today. Can you just go to the office or something?’
Sarah: ‘honey, I’ve got so much to do today … would you mind maybe possibly pretty please going to the office for a few hours so I can focus? I know it’s a drag but I would really appreciate it and it would mean I can get all this wrapped up here and then we can hang out tonight.’ – GOOD.
The formula is, you want to let HIM feel like he’s still in charge (important); and you want to give an INCENTIVE and a REASON WHY you want it from him.
That way, you’ve got all your bases covered: logic, emotion, and rationality. Boom.
Mitchelle: ‘I need you to meet my parents. Come on.’ – BAD.
Mitchelle: ‘How would you feel about making an appearance at a barbecue at my folks’ place? I just want to show off how awesome you are so I can get bragging rights for the next time I go round there. How about it we go over for a drink and then leave after half an hour and do whatever you want to do?’ – GOOD.
Sharon: ‘I need you to talk to me more. You’re always so closed off.’ – BAD
Sharon: ‘Could we talk for just five more minutes? It’s been a weird and frustrating day and hearing your voice just makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay.’ - GOOD.
See the difference? Can you see why it works so much better if you appeal to all three areas of the brain (logic, rationality, AND emotion) instead of just one or two?
So, will these phrases always work?
No. Nothing in the world works 100% of the time every single time. And these phrases are no exception.
The most common reason for these phrases not working is very simple and is usually for one of three reasons:
You’re just plain asking for too much. In this case, it doesn’t matter how carefully you phrase it; a man who earns $20k a year packing groceries will probably never buy you a Bentley for your birthday no matter how nicely you ask.
You picked the wrong time. Men (like all humans) need quiet time, TV time, sleep time, relaxing time. Nobody wants to be hassled when they need a moment of downtime. So, you’ve got to use your common sense here and choose a time when he’s relaxed and not too busy.
You know ahead of time that he has some kind of strong aversion to whatever you’re asking him to do. For instance, bugging a guy who’s a rabid atheist to come to church with you every Sunday is probably not going to work, because it goes against his own personal and deeply held belief system.
I will stop here, because there is no end to my writing. And remember this process will happen for sure, the point is it will take time to make him commit to you.
And the final decision to live in a committed relationship is a choice.
In the end, if you have some other good ways to continue to impress and connect with him then you can apply those ways too.
As I believe there is no end to learning new skills to attract a man. What matters is, if everything works well, keeping the spice alive in your relationship for life long.
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on......and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other......My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other.And we’re just getting started!
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