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This a very general misconception of many women around the GLOBE that men are not ROMANTIC, or at least there own man is not ROMANTIC.
To be honest before you continue reading this article. I want to say SORRY to you first, that's because there are no Prince Charmings out there. He simply does not exist, except in fairy tales.
Except I will say this one more time – and I hope you believe this by now: Men are not romantic, but at the same time they are also not dumb.
They know and think about what women want when they look at you. They see it everywhere!
From ads during the Valentine season to movies to countless articles and discussions on the Internet, a man would have to live in a deep, dark hole in order to avoid seeing all the clues.
So, there is no way he doesn’t know that you desire romance, and romantic gestures. And he wants to give you all the romance you want and need.
And yet, he doesn’t.
Or he does – at least he tries to, anyway – and it always just misses the mark.
What’s up with that? What is wrong with him?
Well, there is an actual reason. And what a surprise – it has to do with that sad old monster that follows him around, and that monster’s name is insecurity. He is committed but scared.
And that monster gives him about a million reasons why he shouldn’t even bother trying to be romantic, because it will be an enormous failure.
To explain what I mean, let’s take a situation in which your guy wants to be romantic. Let’s say that it is Valentine’s Day.
Ah, Valentine’s Day. The most dreaded day on the calendar for any man (and most women, if we’re going to be honest here).
He knows he needs to do something for the big day. He is feeling the pressure.
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And because you respect him and don’t want to be nagging or controlling, you leave him to his own devices, so he basically has no direction. (I am not saying that is a misstep on your part; it’s just the way it is.)
Then, on one side he sees ads and reminders in shop windows and is bombarded with articles about how important it is to do it right; on the other side, he has people screaming about how it’s all bullshit made up by corporations to make money, and anyone who gives into the hype is a chump.
So now he is really at a loss.
But still, he wants to make the effort. So he looks for a nice restaurant where he can take you to a romantic dinner – except they’re either all booked already, or they are charging extortionate prices for weird fancy food that he is not even sure if you will like.
Then he tries his hand at looking for a nice gift. Is lingerie too suggestive? Too selfish?
If I get it too big she will think I think she is fat; but I get it too small, and she will think I am trying to tell her something. What about flowers – are roses too cliché?
Will she think I put no thought into this? And she said she was on a diet, so are chocolates out? But she loves chocolate! But then will she think I think she should be on a diet if I don’t get her any?
Is jewelry too weird to give at the early stages of a relationship? What if she hates it? Is she going to be upset that we’ve been going out for a long time but I am not giving her a ring? OH MY GOD, IS SHE EXPECTING ME TO PROPOSE?
You can imagine the tailspin of uncertainty and insecurity this throws him into.
And then add to this that if he shows that he is making even the slightest bit of effort, his friends will call him “whipped” and make fun of him mercilessly.
Which is why, on the big day, he panics, grabs some cheapo flowers from the supermarket, and offers to make you his famous mac-and-cheese – leaving you touched, but also a bit confused and maybe even disappointed.
Now, obviously, Valentine’s Day makes the whole notion of being romantic that much more terrifying.
But this happens on a smaller scale as well. He just doesn’t want to let you down, and men tend towards avoidance rather than forging ahead.
This is why it is so very important for you not to be needy. He is already a ball of nerves about the whole romance thing.
But if you add to that the fact that it is clear you are depending on him for every ounce of happiness in your life, he is going to break.
And by break, I mean break down – and then break up with you.
So to avoid this tragic outcome, it is time to really put into practice some of the advice we’ve gone over in the book so far.
• Be independent. Give him the space he needs to relax into the relationship, and to be inspired to come up with ways to demonstrate his love for you.
• Be positive. By showing him that you are his main cheerleader, you understand him and you are giving him the confidence he needs to take those chances and show you his romantic side in the best way he knows how, and that is most meaningful to him.
• Be respectful. Trust him to decide how to show you that he loves you, and respect his choices, and know he is doing his best. Just because you had one thing in mind doesn’t mean that what he has done doesn’t mean just as much.
Another one I would add to this list, which we haven’t gone over in detail, is to be patient.
While men do tend to take decisive action, they also tend to take longer to get to that point than women do. And again, this has to do with their insecurity.
You see, You women have very little problem acting on an idea. Maybe it is because you’re impulsive; maybe it is because the women in your lives give you a good support system;
Or it could be that from centuries of the world not expecting that much from women, you feel like you can be left alone to fail and then try again until you get it right.
Men, on the other hand, are not very impulsive at all. They also don’t have the support system that women do; they have competition, and in competition there is a winner and a loser,
And it has been made clear to them by society which side they want to be on. And of course, society also expects men to succeed, so failure is rarely if ever an option.
But because it seems to easy to you – just do something romantic, it’s not that hard, jeez! - you get impatient, and a little worried, and you try to drop some hints about what you would like from him in terms of romance.
Once again it's a myth that men are not ROMANTIC. It's nothing like that.
Boy, is that gonna backfire on you. Because now that you have dropped your frankly not-so-subtle hint, whatever it was, to him it’s no longer an option.
First, because he didn’t think it up himself, you aren’t giving him a chance to earn your love; and second, because you have shown him that you don’t trust him to do the right thing.
So, practice a little patience. He will get there. He is just not on your timeline, is all.
Last but not the least stay positive, by positive I mean don't think that he is not romantic. just imagine that he is...The law of attraction states you attract what you think.
I will end this article here. I hope you enjoyed it. But before I leave I would love to recommend something AMAZING.
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on......and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other......My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other.And we’re just getting started!
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