If you've have ever had a hard time figuring out how to understand men and his behavior. I mean your man the man you want to be with. Then, my friend this is going to be a life changing article for you.
And this will eventually help you to come out of the deep fog of insecurity about understanding your man and making him commit for life long.
So You’re about to learn what makes a man tick, why he does what he does, and how he operates in a relationship.
#1. Respect Principle
To successfully understand your man, you must know who he is. It's only then he will respect you.
First things first, what gets a man’s respect? Don't let him take you for granted. In other words don't be ‘under his thumb’, all the time, don't be predictable, treat yourself with love and care, use your actions to communicate instead of words, and not always being ‘a sure thing’).
And on top of that, there’s one BIG thing that many women don’t even think about:
Brains.Ladies, smart is sexy.
Read this here: ‘I get so turned off by dumb women. They might look great, but the minute they open their mouths I lose interest. If a woman has no interest in anything outside the mall, TV, magazines and gossip, it’s like a bucket of cold water to the crotch. It’s a huge turn-off.’- --- Matthew, 24, male model.
This isn’t about having a PhD in solid-matter physics, or being able to perform long strings of calculations in your head, or having a bunch of degrees from some ivy-league university.
The kind of brains that count in a relationship are simple and that simplicity will help you to find secret behind how to understand men.
- You know when to pick your battles
- You’re emotionally under your own control
- You can give as good as you get
- You’re not easily manipulated
First things first: if your concept of the world comes from trashy tabloid magazines and the E! channel, then I recommend you make an effort to continue educating yourself about more than gossip and strip-mall sales.
Brainy is hot. Ignorant is not. So how do you ‘get brainy’?
Be curious about the world. Neuroscientists believe one of the greatest markers of intelligence is curiosity.
So, get curious! If something tweaks your interest, pursue it.
For instance, I have a friend who goes on mad binges of information whenever she finds something that interests her. Last summer, she obsessively devoured every book she could find (and I mean, EVERY book) on serial killers and psychopaths. Why?
Well, not because she ‘had to’ for her work (um, she’s a nurse, so not much cross over there.) Just because it interested her.
And that kind of CURIOSITY makes her a more interesting person – with a lot more to offer than just a pretty face.
Because under it all, she has a big old brain – one that’s fuelled by intense curiosity about the world.
You’ve gotta be fascinated by your own life and that's what will push him to RESPECT YOU and keep him in love with you.
Don't worry it might not make much sense but continue reading and you'll eventually realize all the DOTS are connecting to one another.
#2. Your Conversation with your man should trigger his chase instincts.
Let me share with you an example I read in a book.
For instance, while Kate was getting dressed to go to dinner, her boyfriend – lounging on the bed waiting for her – saw the outfit she was putting on and took it upon himself to stir the pot a little.
‘That skirt is totally weird,’ he told her. ‘It makes you look six months pregnant. Why would you deliberately want to wear a skirt that makes you look like that?
’Then he sat back and looked at her, to see how she would react. Many women would, on some level, freak out.
They would be hurt, pout, tell him he should be more ‘accepting’, tell him not to be so disrespectful, or go and get changed immediately and then ask for his opinion.
Hannah didn’t do what her boyfriend was expecting at all. Instead, she had the perfect reaction.She didn’t get mad or try to ASK for what she needed.Instead, she stirred the pot right back.She gasped loudly and said,
‘Oh my god, really? Thank you for telling me! I do dress for your visual pleasure and your visual pleasure only, after all.’Then she turned back to the mirror and calmly kept applying her lip gloss while his jawdropped open.
Beat. She turned back. ‘I’m just busting your balls. But seriously. If you don’t like the way I dress, you are free to leave at any time.’
Then she gave him a minxy smile in the mirror and finished applying her makeup.Her boyfriend never commented negatively on her clothes again.
And for the rest of the night, he kept telling her how amazingly sexy he thought she was, and how he loved that she had her own style.
The point is keep your posture high, now that doesn't mean you need to dominate him. All I want to tell is keep the balance control in your hand in conversation and this will keep him attracted towards you.
#3. You can never get a man’s respect by ASKING for it. You have to EARN it through your ACTIONS
I hope you remember we talked about respect above. It's time to expand a little this "Respect Principle" Topic to understand a man in a better way.
Now, you don’t have to be as bad-ass as Kate, the example we discussed above.(And if you do choose to go down that road, please note that delivery is everything.
The lack of a smile will turn you from ‘cool’ and JUST the right amount of bitchy, to ‘defensive ball-buster’.
You still want to be sweet as pie and say it with a smile – so let the sting be in your words, not your face.)
Alternatively, a simple, dead pan ‘Thank you for your suggestion’ will do just fine … and then keep strutting your stuff the way you like it.Why? Because YOUR opinion is worth more to you than HIS.
Again, actions speak louder than words.Your failure to respond emotionally to him ‘stirring you up’ is what makes a man sit up straight and realize that he cannot control you.
And then BOOM! He realizes that you are unlike any other woman he’s met. He can’t get a rise out of you. And that’s when he starts to try harder to make a good impression on YOU … because now the see-saw’s tipped the other way.
Fact: the person who has the most power in the relationship is the one who cares the least about what the other thinks.
Listen, I’m not saying you can’t love your man.You can (and should!) shower him with as much love and sweetness as you like.
But at all times, you MUST temper it with a backbone, and the ability to stand up for yourself.
You must put YOURSELF first. You must love yourself more than he loves you, even if that seems impossible right now.
Because his love and desire for you is directly correlated with the amount of RESPECT you have for yourself.
So: be curious about the world, don’t take any crap, and don’t be scared to speak up.
#4. You Must Understand That Men are GOAL ORIENTED.
This means men are competitors and they move towards a GOAL. Look around you, and you will see this is true in ALL aspects of a man’s life.
In business, in sports, in social life (guys are ALWAYS one-upping each other), and yup, in dating and relationships too.
They are like fish: they focus on the little shiny thing that’s flapping around (the lure) and then they GO for it.
In other words, for a man to feel energized and motivated to give more and come your way, he must feel that he has a GOAL, and that he is MOVING TOWARDS IT.
He has to feel like he has the chance to win somehow and that stops him from losing interest in you.
#5. Most men are wired to create and chase, not to ‘maintain’.
Tip: this is why most men ‘slack off’ after a while in relationships, because there is no way for them to WIN any more.
So, if he ever gets to feel that you are predictable, that he ‘has’ you, then there is no CHALLENGE. There is no goal.
There is no way for him to keep moving forward and keep the spice alive in your relationship.Therefore, he is now BORED and that's the reason to understand a man you also need to trigger his chase instincts.
The solution to this is simple: don’t be such a sure thing. Don’t let him put you inside his pigeon hole. Don’t let him sum you up so easily. Be hard to define. Be a magical creature like no other.
Be a loving girlfriend and make him feel like king of the world – but just don’t always be right there within arm’s reach.
- Sometimes, be out and uncontactable.
- Don’t always text him back immediately. You have a life, right? A life that means you’re not obsessing over your phone, pouncing on every text. Give it a few hours before responding every now and then.
- Don’t always tell him when you’ll be home.
- Go away for the weekend with your girlfriends and don’t invite him. Then, don’t callhim while you are there. It’s good to let him sweat a little. Men experience their deepest passion when they are a LITTLE bit afraid of losing you.
- Put on a nice dress, get ‘prettied up’ and go out. You don’t have to go to a bunch ofbars. Just put on something cute, apply some lip gloss, and head out the door. Go to the LIBRARY, for Pete’s sake. Just go. (The better you look when you go out, the more he worries that you have ‘options’, and this keeps him in competition mode.)
Why? Because men are not wired to ‘maintain’ or to have things handed to them on a platter.
This is how to understand men and stay always one step ahead to keep the chase alive.
I hope you got the point.
#6. Men Are Providers and They’re DYING For You to Notice That.
Men are the hunters, they’re wired to provide, evolutionarily the man is designed to be the‘hunter and provider’.
(I don’t think I’m exactly telling you anything new here.)
Yet, what you might NOT know is that the fact he’s wired as a ‘provider’ means that most men want and CRAVE something they almost never get your appreciation and acknowledgment for what he provides you with.
So listen: If you want your man to give you more, if you want him to fall harder for you, if you want more LOVE in your relationship.
Then the motto is to build him up, not tear him down.
Many men will flat-out try to deny this, because it makes them feel weak and emasculated to admit their egos are so dependent on your feedback.
I believe this 6 significant points are good enough to learn how to understand men.
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