What is infatuation? What does infatuated mean? A question that is a bit confusing and hard to answer.
This question is actually triggered by many of women subscribers and many have asked me this question what is infatuation and what does infatuated mean.
Today, you’ll get the answer to this question so stay with me until the end of this amazing article.
Basically, Infatuation is a crucial phase of falling in love that both people must go through to before they form the deep attachment bonds that are important for a loving, long-lasting relationship.
There are 3 phases of falling in love:
Phase 1: Lust
This is where his sex drive is activated. He’s attracted to you physically, but his interest doesn’t necessarily go beyond wanting to sleep with you.
As you’ll see, you can use his sexual interest in you and parlay it into infatuation.
Phase 2: Infatuation
This is where his infatuation drive kicks in and he feels emotionally drawn to you.
Infatuation is the focus of this article and we’re going to get into it in depth but for now you just need to know how it relates to the other phases.
Infatuation doesn’t last forever, but it is a CRUCIAL PHASE. Because it creates the conditions in your brain necessary for IMPRINTING and sets you up for the next phase, which is ATTACHMENT and finally:
Phase 3: Attachment
This is where infatuation subsides and he feels deeply bonded to you.
Some of the excitement you had at the beginning is gone, but it’s replaced with something deeper and more fulfilling.
Though it’s outside the scope of this article is to go too deep into Imprinting and Attachment.
It is an important precursor to ATTACHMENT, and without it, it’s very, very difficult for a man to become emotionally connected to you.
When you’re in a state of infatuation over someone, you:
• Feel like they’re unique and you’re unable to feel the same way about anyone else.
• Focus on their positive qualities and overlook negative traits. Experience increased energy, sleeplessness, restlessness, euphoria also panic and anxiety that it might not work out with them.
• Experience Obsessive and intrusive thinking about them (often up to 90% of waking hours)
• Feel emotionally dependent on them, including possessiveness, jealousy and separation anxiety.
• Experience a longing for emotional union with them (Even more than physical union with them)
• Feel a powerful sense of empathy and a willingness to sacrifice for them.
• Are willing to reorder your priorities for them — to change clothing,mannerisms, habits or values to be more attractive to them
• Feel driven to be exclusive with them.
These feelings of infatuation are involuntary and uncontrollable. And they’re experienced equally intensely in both men and women.
Infatuation is Binary
Finally, one important characteristic of infatuation, is that it’s BINARY.
That means it’s either on or it’s off. Either you’ve activated that evolutionary emotional tripwire and he’s infatuated with you, or you haven’t, and he isn’t.
If you have activated it, then no rational reason will hold a man back from completely devoting himself to you.
But if you haven’t activated it, he’ll always feel unsure about you, not matter how many wonderful qualities you possess, no matter how compatible you are, and no matter how perfect you are for him ‘on paper’.
Liking vs. Infatuation
One of the problems a lot of women run into, is that very often, the things they do to get a guy to ‘like them’ is at odds with what would get him to feel infatuated with them.
For example, giving a man everything he thinks he wants, being extremely available to him and always willing to do things on his terms, might get a guy to LIKE you.
But would make it virtually impossible to trigger those feelings of infatuation so important for getting a guy whole-heartedly committed to you.
While being willing to frustrate him a little, to remain slightly out of reach for him, and not to give him exactly what he wants whenever he wants it can turn on those feelings of infatuation.
I knew that the best way to help my female friends, was to get them to stop focusing on getting men to LIKE them, and instead to do those things that would get him INFATUATED.
What Triggers Infatuation?
Through my research, I discovered there were 3 Ingredients of infatuation. 3 things that, when combined, cause a chemical reaction inside a man’s brain and body that overwhelm his emotions, push all other women out of his mind, and make him absolutely sure you’re the one for him.
The 1st Ingredient is UNCERTAINTY.
Part of triggering a man’s infatuation instinct comes from him being uncertain about exactly where he stands with you. When he’s not sure that he completely ‘has you’ he feels a little out-of-control.
And as you’ll see as you go through this module, the feeling of being out of- control is inextricably linked with feelings of infatuation.
The 2nd Ingredient is INVESTMENT
The more a man INVESTS in you and your relationship — that is — the more time, effort, and energy he puts in, the stronger his feelings for you — a psychological phenomenon known as The Investment Effect.
I’m going to show you ways to get him investing more and more in you and your relationship, deepening and enhancing his feelings no matter how much he takes you for granted.
The 3rd Ingredient is Curiosity
It’s the key to sticking in a man’s mind and getting him thinking about you constantly. Curiosity gets and holds a man’s attention, and releases dopamine in his brain — a crucial neurotransmitter for infatuation.
• Are you giving him too much certainty too quickly?
• Are you not getting him to INVEST enough? Or
• Are you not sparking enough curiosity?
If you’re not sure, or you think it might be all 3, start with Ingredient #1:
Uncertainty and work on incorporating these scripts into your interactions with the man or men, you’re interested in, then move on to Investment, then Curiosity.
If you think you’re bringing some of these Ingredients into play but are fine on the others, that’s totally ok.
Just work on the ones you’re missing, keeping in mind you may want to refer back to some of the other ingredients for a fresher at a later date.
Some tips in this article you’ll find yourself nodding along saying, “I already do that!”
That’s great - I’ve yet to meet a woman who’s doing NOTHING right in her dating life.
This article should serve as confirmations you’re on the right track, and a reminder to keep doing those things.
That’s why, once you’ve identified the tips you want to try out, it’s very important that you PRACTICE SAYING THEM OUT LOUD — as you’re driving in your car, when you’re out for a walk, or as you putter around your home (when no one’s home of course).
Rehearsal is a powerful thing. Through repetition, what formerly felt awkward and unnatural starts to feel familiar and natural.
And the more you repeat it and practice by yourself, the more natural it will feel, and the easier it will become.
Pay close attention, rehearse, and use what you learn here, and in no time you’ll notice a dramatic difference in the way men respond to you, finally putting you in the driver’s seat with the men (or man) you want.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that both men and women have tremendous resistance to the idea of any kind of “game-playing” in their dating and love lives.
And I totally get it. Our lives are richer and our connections are more meaningful when we’re MORE authentic, especially with those close to us.
But a lot of men and women get into trouble when they equate ‘being authentic’ with saying everything that pops into their heads.
Think about it this way:
Imagine you’ve just met a guy at a party and he’s good looking and charming and you’re really attracted to him.
You’re thinking about the things you’d like to do to him and have him do to you.
Would you tell him right there and then you’re thinking about having sex with him? If that’s how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking isn’t that the authentic thing to do?
Is it game-playing NOT to tell him you’re thinking about him in a sexual way?
Of course not. It’s more fun and exciting to let the courtship dance that play out. Sexual and romantic tension can only build when there’s some ambiguity about how both of you are feeling and what you both want.
When you ignore pacing and are absolutely transparent at all moments about what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling, your romance becomes like sex without foreplay. When sleeping together is a foregone conclusion,
It takes a lot of the thrill out of it. Pacing is important. Restraint is important.
Holding yourself back from saying everything that pops into your head and sharing every feeling you have as you have it isn’t game playing.
It’s dancing. It’s giving things space to grow without needing to label them right away.
Another quick example: imagine you’re on a first date with a guy you met online and you meet up with him and the first thing he says is “You look great. I’d really like to have sex with you” How would you react?
You probably wouldn’t be that impressed. Because even if it’s true and you both know it, he’s shown no restraint, and no ability to control his impulses, wait for the right time and to allow things to take their course.
So pace yourself. Resist the temptation to tell him how strong your feelings are for him too quickly and allow there to be some ambiguity in your intentions.
This isn’t game-playing, it’s communicating intelligently and skillfully.
It’s important to keep in mind that infatuation and falling in love are PROCESSES. And those processes have to proceed at their own pace.
Rushing and trying to force things to move forward because you can’t handle the anxiety of not knowing exactly how a guy feels about you, stifles the process and often ruins what could be a great match for you.
It’s like grabbing a flower that’s just begun peaking out of the ground and tugging it towards the sky shouting “Grow god damn it!”
Try to set aside your ideas about “game-playing” as you have gone through this article, and I think you’ll find that what you’ll learn will bring out your best self in a way you might not have realized was possible.
I will stop here and I hope you enjoyed reading this article on what is infatuation.
But before I stop if you want to go deep into understanding what men really desire in a relationship.
I urge you to Watch This Free Video Presentation.
Learn the SECRETS to drive men wild & make them lose control.