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So what makes a man desire a woman sexually and want her more than anything in the world?
What will trigger that urgent desire in a man to be with you, protect you, and ensure nothing goes wrong?
All without you having to do anything more than continue acting your part in the relationship?
It’s all about understanding the biology, psychology, and nature of your own relationship.
Listen to Him at the Right Moments.
Men don’t listen, right?
That’s the common refrain many women have and it’s occasionally a fair assessment.
Men tend to get a certain kind of tunnel vision that takes them out of the conversation to the point that you may as well be talking to a brick wall.
But that doesn’t mean it’s a one way street.
Women, despite how closely they are paying attention, are not always listening, at least not in the way that he needs you to listen. And that’s the reason many times men leave good women, even when they love her.
When a man is willing to open up and say something about how he feels or explain why he is upset, he hopes for understanding.
Once you learn to understand his behavior, sex will automatically be awesome. But the first step is understanding him and his thought process clearly.
But if you immediately get defensive, rebut him with why he is wrong, or remind him of bigger mistakes he made weeks or months ago, he will recoil back in on himself.
The problem is that it SOUNDS like he is trying to win the argument (and he may be), but at least a certain part of him is trying to communicate with you how he feels.
By ignoring the emotions that are present in that statement and presenting your own argument or demeaning what he says, you push him back into his shell, making him uncomfortable and unwilling to open up.
Sometimes you just have to listen. To sit back and let him talk, and whether you think it’s smart or completely off the wall, let him explain his reasoning and say what he needs to say.
You can then have a reasoned conversation about what that might mean.
Create Safe Moments He Feels Comfortable In, this will make him fall in love with you more and more. And eventually his desire to have sex and make love to you will get higher and higher.
The “we need to talk” moment is dreaded in all relationships. Whether it’s a major turning point or you just need to discuss something important in general, it can be frustrating to you when he shuts down or walks away.
But at the same time, he often feels out of his element in these conversations, or worse, like he is being pounced on.
No one wants to feel ambushed, but when he has no escape from a conversation he doesn’t know how to control, he can feel like things are closing in him fast.
This is one of those situations in which you can GREATLY increase his attachment to you, if only because it shows you understand what makes him uncomfortable and are willing to make changes in turn.
Think for a moment about how men talk to each other. It’s rarely in a quiet room with no distractions.
It’s at a bar. In front of a TV. At work. It’s in a setting where, if one of them gets immediately uncomfortable he can distract himself for a few minutes to process what he’s thinking.
If you show that foresight and give him that opportunity, he’ll notice and he’ll feel a stronger connection with you because of it.
More importantly, he’ll open up about how he actually feels because he’ll feel safe enough to do so.
Imagine approaching him, making it clear you need to talk about something important, and then letting him know that it should be discussed at some point in the near future, but that you can wait if he’s not yet ready to talk.
He’ll remember. He’ll come back to you. He’ll process what you’re worried about and have a response when the time comes.
But he’ll also respect you for giving him that time to process his emotions.
Be a Soft, Soothing Presence in Private.
When in private, there’s less of a reason to play the role of hard, take-no-prisoners, no-nonsense woman.
That’s your public mask – it’s the version of you that puts up with endless BS from people who don’t respect you as much as a male counterpart, and you darn well better put it on when you need to get something done.
But at home, in those more intimate moments and when discussing things that are important, he wants to be with the softer, more relaxed version of you.
A woman he feels comfortable telling anything to. A woman who lets the world slip off of her like water over a smooth stone.
Remember these little things makes a man desire a woman sexually and emotionally in true sense.
You don’t have to change who you are.
You don’t have to be a frilly, soft-hearted stereotype. Don’t think of it like that.
Think of it the same way as you would about him. He probably has a completely different demeanor and attitude at work, loaded with stress and everything that comes with it. Would you want him to bring that home?
Think the same away about yourself. Bringing home those attitudes can be even more stressful for both of you than leaving them at work.
It doesn’t mean giving up your independence or being subservient at home. It means showing that femininity because at least part of him craves that connection.
Take Charge in the Bedroom and understand what he wants in bed from you.
This one’s a bit of a no-brainer. But it’s different than you might think.
At first it sounds a bit shallow. Men only want sex and you need to have lots of it to keep him around.
But not so fast. Of course it’s not that simple.
The other stuff on this list is important – equally or more so than sex. But sex, especially for a man, plays a MAJOR role in his development of intimacy with you. That means a few things.
It means not using it as a weapon against him. Not leveraging sex to get something you need or want. Not withholding it as punishment or in anger.
No you don’t owe him a thing and sex should never be considered an obligation – it should be as poignant and vital to you as it is to him, but there is a deeper intimate connection and sex becomes an important way to express love for a man.
The preconceptions both men and women have about sex can be a real road block at times.
Men assume women aren’t interested. Women assume men can’t get enough. The truth is that men and women have fairly comparable sex drives.
The difference is not in desire, but in the reason and the ultimate meaning of that interaction.
While men are more willing to ignore the emotional intimacy of sex in the short term, it becomes vitally important to them in the long term – it’s how they express their love and part of how they perceive it from you.
At the same time, it makes THEM feel alive when you can’t keep your hands off.
Taking charge in the bedroom will light a fire not just in his heart, but in the chemical recesses of his brain to the point that he will feel a strong connection you can’t quite let go of.
Flirting is a lot of fun, and it goes a long ways towards creating a connection between a man and woman when they first meet.
But did you know men LOVE to flirt and it can continue to grow that connection well into a relationship if you do it right?
Men often don’t get the same level of attention and intimacy that women do. The romantic obligation in a relationship falls on them.
So when his partner goes out of her way to flirt and be playful with him, even after a relationship has been ongoing for years, he swells with affection for her.
It’s not just a game. It’s the ultimate expression of love in a way that he doesn’t necessarily expect, but THOROUGHLY enjoy.
How can you flirt with him without it becoming overkill?
Leave flirty messages on the fridge before work. Send him text messages to remind him you’re thinking of him.
Write short notes. Meet him after work or during lunch. Be willing to create those kinds of relationships so that he KNOWS you are thinking of him and can’t help but tell him about it.
This is what makes a man desire a woman sexually and at emotional level.
Imagine how you’d feel if he did the same for you. Trust me. He feels that whether he shows it or not.
Learn to Speak His Language.
Mars and Venus and all that. You know the drill. Men and women think differently and it can make even the most basic interactions more complicated in a relationship.
The truth is that this is generally true, at least to some degree.
Men and women may not be completely different alien species, but they do have trouble communicating and it often has to do with the way they perceive the world.
Men are very linear, process oriented thinkers. They are almost always solving problems with their thoughts and actions.
Women are more diffusive thinkers who can process multiple things at once and focus less on problems than the situations that created them.
We’re generalizing of course. You might be a very effective linear thinker and problem solver and the man in your life might be more prone to diffusive, generalized thinking towards an overall emotion rather than a problem that needs fixing.
But the general rule of thumb is that he’s going to think a bit slower but a LOT more intensively about a topic while you will think faster and on more points.
So it’s no wonder arguments quickly devolve into “you’re not listening” and “you’re not on topic” claims.
How then can you speak his language if you don’t even understand there is a difference?
To start, be there for him no matter how goofy or off the wall it seems. Instead of assuming he’s making poor decisions, assume he’s making the RIGHT decisions and then give him the opportunity to explain to you his reasoning behind them.
There will be moments in your relationship where he does or says something that makes no sense at all, that just seems downright….dumb. But instead of getting immediately upset, let him explain himself.
Assume there IS a reason and let him speak his mind. He will respect you for it, and subconsciously grow more attached to you because you are someone who understands the language he is speaking.
You don’t have to excuse his actions and you certainly don’t have to accept his excuses, but you should listen and wait to understand them.
Associate with Him to Create a Subconscious Connection
Every one of us has two mental processes – the single stream of conscious thoughts we process while awake and the endless cloud of subconscious thoughts that churn away unbidden, whether awake or asleep.
The difference here is that you can create stronger connections with him without him even realizing it through his subconscious mind using simple tricks like:
• Joining him on an outing or in his hobby
• Making him a meal that he has a strong attachment to
• Buying him something he loves and sharing it with him
• Sharing something you love with him and emphasizing the importance
• Spending quiet time together focused on each other
• Going on a trip together to experience it for the first time.
The key here is to create strong subconscious connections between the things he enjoys and you. He loves you, but this solidifies that love as new connections are made in his mind.
Combined with everything else on this list, it becomes a near unbreakable bond.
The key to the seven things listed above is not that they are some kind of hidden, psychological tricks that work only on men.
The same things will work equally well on women in a similar setting. The difference is that these things speak more closely to the values that men hold in a relationship.
Whether he is open about his needs and desires in a relationship or holds everything tightly bound to his chest where you can’t see any of it, the truth is that most men have a very clear idea of what they want.
They may not say it.
They may not even realize it.
But they know what they want and will fight hard to protect it when they find it.
If he thinks he’s found a woman who will fight for him, support him, listen to him, and be there no matter what happens, he will become that protective, intimately connected partner you’ve always dreamed of.
Generating a Burning Fire that Will Never Go Out
The fire burning in your heart is not burning alone.
The same flame was planted in him months or even years ago. The problem is not that he doesn’t feel the same for you, it’s that he doesn’t know how to express it and he certainly doesn’t know how to communicate with it.
When it comes time to unleash his hidden passion and create these stronger, almost unbreakable connections between him and you, it’s not about the connection itself, it’s about the interaction between you and him.
Every time he thinks to himself “man am I lucky to be with her” the connection grows stronger and the interaction becomes smoother.
Every time he feels that surge of adrenaline from a moment like this, the relationship grows stronger and he becomes more keenly aware of just how much he loves you.
And it really is that simple.
Men aren’t iron golems. They aren’t walking brick walls that feel nothing until you chip away at them for years. They have the same emotions and connections as women, but they don’t have the same tools and experience needed to interact with them.
The key to creating a stronger, more intimate connection, is to give them those tools, show them how to use them, and be there to help and listen, and support him in the moments when he feels uncomfortable doing it.
It means relieving the pressure so that he doesn’t feel like his ability to show love and be romantic is a make or break assignment.
It means supporting him whenever he makes a decision, even if that decision is the wrong one. It means showing him regularly just how much you care, even if you think he already knows.
Show him and be willing to go above and beyond the norm so that he can see it on a DAILY basis.
It’s not needy to be there for a man. He will do the same for you in turn, and your relationship will grow stronger because of it.
My hope is that you will have gained a bit of insight into what is happening in a man’s mind when he gets upset, shuts down during an argument, hides his feelings from you, or otherwise withdraws.
It’s not a lack of respect. It’s not a lack of love for you.
More often than not it’s TOO MUCH love and care and he doesn’t know how to express it, or he’s afraid to do so, worried that the response will be less than what he expects.
That’s the risk of love, but if you can help him see that there is not such risk and that you are as in it as he is, he will open up and the intimacy will be much greater for both of you.
If you can reach that point, the sky is the limit for your relationship and trust me, he will love you more than anything he’s ever loved before, not just for taking these steps, but for being there with him as he learns to take his.
I will stop here. If you loved reading this article on what makes a man desire a woman sexually then you’ll also love this powerful video presentation below.
My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!
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