What men really want? What’s his secret desire? How to unleash his hidden passion and fantasy?
Let’s find out in this article.
Now, before you understand what men really want in a woman he loves, first you must find out few things.
Is the man in your life passionate?
Is he eager to be with you? Is he intimate when alone and caring when in public? Does he think of you constantly and have trouble keeping his hands off of you?
And if the answer to this question is anything less than yes, do you wonder why?
What drives his motor and why isn’t he as passionate about you as he is about Sunday afternoon sports or the next big racing game for his video game console?
These are the questions I hear almost every day from anguished women like yourself who want nothing more than to demand the undivided attention of the men in their lives - to unlock that hidden passion and make them so eager to be with them they don’t look at ANYTHING else around them.
If the man in your life does anything less, there is something you can do. There are tasks you can perform and triggers you can flip that will make him want to be with you in a way that you’ve never experienced before.
More importantly, he’ll think it’s all his idea.
He’ll feel the urge internally, like a river swelling over its banks, unable to hold itself back and keep from flooding into every corner of his being.
He will become the kind of man that you have always dreamed while remaining himself - the man whose personality and sense of humor you fell in love with.
We’re going to look at how to hit these triggers and to make him want to become the kind of man you’ve always dreamed of, not just to make you happy, but to make himself happy, even in ways he doesn’t realize.
It’s not a trick.
It’s not manipulative.
What I’ll show you in the next few paragraphs which is designed to understand what men really want and the steps to trigger the latent feelings he ALREADY has, making him want to be more romantic, open up with you, and display the fiery passion and intimacy that is buried deep in his heart and has been since the moment he met you.
If you’re ready for your man to become an uncontrollable fountain of burning passion, keep reading because this is what all men feel deep inside and you’ll soon have the key to unlock it and let it out.
#1. So, What Men Really Want in a Relationship?
Here’s the secret, the real hidden agenda that women have been pounding their heads against the wall, trying to unlock for years.
This is what you REALLY want to know, and it’s what you have been unable to uncover, either because he won’t open up about it or he really just has no idea.
Is that possible? Can a man really have such strong feelings hidden inside that he isn’t aware of? Yes, and it’s a lot more common than you think.
He has no interest whatsoever in hiding things from you.
He’s more interested in hiding those emotions from himself, but whether he realizes it or not, he WILL respond to them if you hit the right buttons.
Now you just need to know which buttons to hit.
Let’s take a look.
#2. Men Want to Feel Respected by the Women They Are With, it is one of the most important thing that men want in women they love.
This is number one, easily.
In fact, it’s such a major factor, that many men will claim they’d rather be respected than loved. But here’s the thing.
To a man, respect and love are one in the same. They don’t separate them in their minds.
They see no difference between a woman who is fully supportive and respectful of her partner’s needs and decisions and a woman who loves him unconditionally.
But there is a distinction here that you need to know about.
A man doesn’t necessarily want you to crawl on hands and knees and cater to his every needs. Sure, some guys are like that and they can be weaned off of the mommy-complex style of relationships easily enough with time.
But most men want respect, and it’s important that you recognize that this is separate from “mothering”. Here’s what respect means:
• Supporting his crazy ideas when no one else will.
• Listening to him when he is upset, even if you think he’s wrong.
• Being there for him when he takes a major leap at work or elsewhere.
• Allowing him the time he needs to recognize his own mistakes.
• Being there for him when he needs commiseration after those mistakes.
Men don’t want you to default to their every decision and agree with them 100% of the time.
In fact, most men find this a turnoff. They want a partner, not a robot that bows to their every whim. That’s not what a relationship means to a man.
What a relationship means to a man is that you will be there for him when he makes a mistake, but that unless it hurts him or you, you’ll let him make his own mistakes.
It’s not easy.
Sometimes it’s pretty clear that he’s being dense.
That his decisions are less than bright and that he’s about to dive headfirst into a big pit, but true respect, and love (Because they are the same to him) mean letting him dive and then being there to help him get back up.
It’s not easy, but he will love you for it.
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#3. Men Want to Feel Important, As If They Are Leading the Way.
Men are playing against stereotypes that we sometimes don’t realize. Society tells them from a young age that they should be stoic and quiet, processing their emotions internally and taking charge of situations.
A “real man” is one who steps out and takes charge of a situation and does whatever it takes to be successful and protect those who need his protection.
At the same time, there is a very real biological imperative to care for and take care of those in his life.
It’s not a man/woman thing. It’s a caregiver thing.
The same as many women feel protective of a child despite trusting their spouse 100%, men feel protective of their role as breadwinner, despite fully supporting a wife or girlfriend who also works and brings in a large percentage, if not most of the income.
Pop culture mocks men who make less money than women. It’s empowering for a woman to be successful, but we still mock men who are less than a greater share in a relationship.
It’s a silent double standard that men are self-conscious of and many fight against because they don’t want to be that guy - keeping their wife home to do chores and raise children.
So what does he actually want from you in regards to his role in this? It’s hard to say, but it’s about making him feel important.
It’s about recognizing the insecurities are there and making him feel appreciated for whatever he does - whether it’s working, chores around the house, or if he’s a stay-at-home dad.
Whatever his contributions are, make him feel appreciated for them, not that he should have been doing them anyways.
He won’t ask for it, and he may say he doesn’t want it, but the more you can openly acknowledge how important he is in your life, the more he will open up about how these things make him feel and the closer he will feel to you in the relationship.
#4. Men Want to Have Time to Process Emotions in Their Own Way
In many ways men and women are a lot more similar than we give them credit for, but when it comes to communication there is a very real gap.
In terms of how we think, talk, and process emotions.
A man simply doesn’t do it the same as a woman and it can create a lot of tension in a relationship if you’re not aware of the difference.
How big of a difference are we talking?
Imagine you find out your boyfriend had lunch with an ex-girlfriend. You are immediately angry and when he walks into the door you launch into a discussion about why you are upset, demanding he explain his actions.
Seems like a measured, fair response. You avoid yelling and try to be straightforward with your emotions, but you are upset and you want him to know it, and explain why he’d do something that would upset you.
Instead of answering, though, he gets quiet, broods and eventually either walks away or snaps at you.
What the heck?
This is the point in most relationships where a fight breaks out - when being upset escalates into being angry and both sides settle into their trenches and start yelling.
But it could have been avoided with a single change.
The moment when he got quiet? When he pulled back into his shell and backed away? That’s him trying to process the situation.
That’s him trying to determine how he feels and what he can actually say to you that will make you feel better.
The problem is not that he doesn’t care.
It’s that he cares a LOT and wants to make sure he says it right.
But as the fight escalates and he feels pressured to respond, he gets agitated and starts to push back, or he just gives up completely and walks away, which to you probably feels even worse.
Give him space.
A lot of men don’t even realize it, but they need space to process emotions, think through how they feel, and determine how they want to express it to you.
Some will stay in this shell indefinitely, but most will come out and talk to you with time, but only if given that time.
You are 100% justified in being upset, but give him the fair opportunity to respond in his own way.
Men are linear thinkers. They can’t process everything you say and determine how they feel about all of it at once.
They need time to overcome years of conditioning to ignore emotions as well as to work through every step of the process.
Maybe he didn’t realize how bad his decision was. Maybe he did and wants to ensure you know it didn’t mean anything. Maybe he’s stalling.
Whatever it is, though, give him the benefit of the doubt with reasonable calm, letting him think it over before responding, and he’ll love you for it.
#5. How to Trigger Increased Passion and Intimacy
With a better understanding of what men want and to some degree, how they communicate, it’s time to start triggering that hidden hero instinct and inner passion.
Every guy has it - that core of unbridled passion that will convince him to do ANYTHING for you.
That will make him fight for you tooth and nail, unwilling to even consider the possibility of giving you up or letting you get away.
That inner fighter. That animal instinct.
If you can bring its full weight to bear on your relationship, you will have a man who will be as fiercely loyal to you as anyone has ever been.
In fact, before you start making any of the changes I’m about to show you, be sure YOU are ready for that kind of change.
Don’t tread lightly when it comes to drawing the ultimately commitment from a man because once he has committed, he is full in and you’ll have a hard time creating distance.
But you shouldn’t want to.
Reading this article, you’re ready for the next step and believe he is as well. Now is the time to help him realize it and create the kind of connection that will keep your relationship moving forward for a long time to come.
#6. The Myth About Male Commitment
One of the funniest things about the male/female relationship is that both sides make a bunch of assumptions that tend not to be true.
Men assume women want nothing more than to sit on a couch and talk about their day and that they have little or no interest in sex.
Women assume that men are ONLY interested in sex and that they will leave them in a moment’s notice for a hotter woman if she comes along.
It’s a vicious cycle, not because any of this is true (it’s not), but because we, at least on some level, believe it is true and act accordingly.
One of those myths is that men don’t want to commit.
Let me explain why this exists. It’s because commitment has different stages.
First, when a man is immature, boy oh boy does he let the world know.
Men who don’t grow up and continue to live the frat boy fantasy of a new woman every week, a dead end job, and no growth potential in life are out there - they always will be - but they are less common than TV and movies make us think.
In reality, men mature and develop to the point of commitment as often as women, just slightly later in life. That’s just plain biology.
Men mature more slowly. So all the studies on commitment and emotional connection done on college students are pretty skewed because, yeah, men have ZERO interest in committing to anything more than an Xbox controller when they are 19 years old.
But when he’s 30? He’s ready, and whether he’s emotionally available or not, he has a strong connection with the woman he loves and wants to be there for her.
So the key is not to “change” a man into someone willing to commit.
If he won’t commit to you, it has nothing to do with being a man. It means this particular PERSON is unwilling to take that step, and it could be a personal issue that never resolves.
If he seems unwilling or is quiet and distant, it’s a matter of tapping the inner desire to build a relationship and eventually a family and draw that energy out of him.
THAT is absolutely something we can do own steps toward a stronger investment in his relationship with you.
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