10 Differences between Men and Women in Relationships every committed couple should know to make long-term relationships work.
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” – claims John Gray in the title of his well-known book, which describes the two completely opposite species that have to get along in our world.
Indeed, the difference between male and female is so significant, that they’re likely to be from different planets.
(And I’m talking not only about appearance or physiology but more importantly, about their psychological and emotional features).
Yep, that’s true – we react and treat situations in various ways, we often DO NOT coincide at all – and it’s natural, it’s something we cannot change, but CAN and MUST accept, expect and respect to build strong harmonious relationships.
But before we begin considering the most substantial differences between genders, I’d like to mention that we’re gonna analyze some “average” or “typical” man and woman.
However, there are lots of exceptions now a days when men have pronounced “girly” features and vice versa – so when saying “a man” or “a woman” I mean a gender role, not sex.
So, are you ready, to learn the differences between men and women in relationships?
If Yes! Let’s start!
#1. Basic Needs
For women, the appeal and attraction of any relationship is the relationship itself, and the ideal man is the one who truly understands her.
While the main importance for man is to feel like a man: respected, acknowledged, and just needed. Men are givers by their nature, and the ideal woman is the one who can happily receive and appreciate him as a head of household.
When most men have a bad day, they don’t want to talk about it in detail, like women do. However, they need their girlfriend to notice they’re upset and support them in some way.
Besides, they may want to have some me-time to cope with a situation. Contrary to this, females tend to be more verbal and emotionally expressive than men, and it develops into the need to be listened and necessarily heard.
Regarding the need to be loved, it’s essential for both, but women usually show it through words, and men – through actions. The ignorance of this difference often leads to arguments, so take this for a spin.
#2. Logic VS Intuition
In most cases, men are guided by logic and women by intuition, that’s why men are more objective – feelings and emotions don’t prevent them from adequately perceiving what is going on.
Women are more observant due to their inborn ability to focus on small things – and these details are a source of a famous female intuition.
Remember that irrefutable women’s argument “I have a feeling…”? Nevertheless, strange as it may sound, in 90% of the cases she is right! Without any evidence, without any proves – she’s absolutely right!
#3. Solutions VS Feelings
Women want empathy, yet men usually offer solutions – on this basis, we can divide people into those who react and those who do.
For sensitive women emotions and feelings are the most important thing in any relations, while active men live in the world of action and responsibility.
When faced with tough times, men become non-communicative, and women need to talk about it (actually, sometimes they even ignore all solutions that men offer, going on and on with repeating their problem).
Active men ask themselves “what to do?”, whereas sensitive women ask “how to do?” or “with whom?”
Men create laws, women – morals. And it’s essential to realize this difference when it comes to the building of long-term relationships.
#4. Emotional Response
Despite I’ve already mentioned female emotionality, this point is so BIG that it requires a designated place in this list of differences. Is it a familiar dialogue?
- You’re so indifferent! You didn’t answer the phone! Oh, you were cheating on me! You don’t love me!
- I only went out to get some coffee. Stop overreacting!
So… It’s not hard to guess, where is a man, and where is a woman, right? The thing is women often can’t cope with their emotions due to constant influence of their monthly hormonal shifts, which are more severe than we would like to believe.
Men are a way more consistent – they go through several hormonal changes during their lives: in the womb, throughout adolescence, during puberty, when fathering a child, and as they age – so, during the rest of the time they’re very stable and balanced.
#5. Physical Intimacy VS Emotional Intimacy
A man has almost purely visual sexual fantasies, while a woman wants some romance and emotional intimacy. Men are easier to sexually arouse – women depend on menstrual cycle/mood/atmosphere/whatever.
A man is attracted by sight – a woman is stimulated by a man’s personality. Man can start immediately – women need some time of emotional and mental preparation.
Also, women may feel so broken and abused when they’re forced to sexual contact (even with a husband or a boyfriend) – men usually feel just OK about it.
Men have sex – women make love.
#6. Achievements VS Relationships
Men value their achievements, but women value their relationships – that’s why for most men the main thing is work and career, while for the majority of women, it’s a family.
Men are very sensitive about their professional failures – in order to feel completely satisfied with his life, a man has to be sure that his career achievements are not less successful than of most his peers.
Women also have a kind of competition, but they put a husband and children on the scale. Unwed in 35? That’s not good, even though you’re a self-sufficient and independent businesswoman.
#7. Independence of Decision-Making
A masculine “who cares?” and a feminine “what will they think?” often become stumbling blocks for green couples.
Men are less affected by the environment in their decisions, that’s why they are more likely to be determined and confident.
Women tend to listen to various opinions, summarize pros and cons, and hesitate a lot in decision-making.
Men care way too little about what women say and this independence and isolation sometimes lead to women feeling emotionally abandoned.
#8. Focus on Essence VS Focus on Details
A woman has a better memory for small things – a man keeps in mind the core, the essence.
On the first date, she will analyze each word, gesture, sign, smile, as well as face, nails, eyebrows, shoes and lots of other stuff – he will see the woman as a whole.
In a long-term relationship, a woman worries because of dirty dishes in the kitchen, loads of socks all over the house, and a spot on the curtain.
A man doesn’t. Actually, he doesn’t even notice that something’s wrong. A mess? I don’t see any mess…
Females also pay lots of attention to others. They will never miss or ignore someone’s tear-stained eyes, trembling lips, poor appetite or unusual reticence. Males (again) may not even see that.
#9. Explosiveness VS Patience
Strange to say, but in spite of women’s emotionality and men’s stability that we’ve already discussed, in conflicts, women are more flexible and malleable, while men often burst and argue a lot. Women try to avoid a row if it’s possible, men thrive in it.
Moreover, female patience is particularly evident when it comes to illness or fatigue. She can go to work, cook a dinner and carry bags from the supermarket with a fever. But most men turn a runny nose into a struggle for survival.
#10. The “Channel” of Love
And the last in this list is the way we perceive the world. For men, it’s visual, for women – auditory.
A famous quotation by Woodrow Wyatt “A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears” is all about this difference.
Contrary to popular belief, it's men that fall in love at first sight: they quickly examine a girl and begin to act.
Women, on the contrary, need to learn as much as possible about the prospective boyfriend, listen to his speeches, and after that make a final decision.
How to Handle These Differences?
Most often, the problems in relationships arise when the partners don’t realize how different all men and women are.
Our disability to accept and respect these differences may lead to bitter disappointment, frustration, stress, and as a result, the end of the relationship. So, the key to moving past your differences is to understand them and fix your relationship.
Along with the understanding, you’re gonna come to compromise in any situation – something in between both of your views so that no one loses or wins.
I will stop here, I hope you guys loved reading this article on differences between men and women in relationships. If you loved it please do not forget to share it on your favorite social media.