Do you have a history of great relationships inexplicably turning sour? If Yes! Don't worry today you'll learn exactly how to fix a broken relationship.
If you ever found yourself dating someone whom you found unusually attractive and‘promising’, with the future looking bright but over time, you started to feel like things were going STALE and one or both of you wound up losing interest and ignoring on another.
Trust me if all this is true then, my friend you've landed at the right page?
Note that when your relationship is turning sour, you have two options; either you can put it out of its’ misery or fix it back to health or you can leave that person and start again. But it's all easier said than done.
So are you ready to END this poisonous pattern thereby empowering yourself to grasp the golden future of amazing relationships that is, by dint of your very human-ness, your unquestioned BIRTHRIGHT?
Because I’m ready to show you the way.
#1. Your First All-Important Relationship Truth: The Second Law of Thermodynamics Applies to ALL Human Interactions
This might sound a bit boring and science-class-like at first – but just hang on.
Keep reading. You’ll be glad you did. I have a friend who’s a scientist (actually, he’s in his sixth year of a science degree at university, so technically he’s almost a scientist.)
And the other day, he said something interesting we were tinkering around with my car one Saturday afternoon, with a six pack and the radio blasting, and I started bitching about how there always seems to be something wrong with the engine.
For the car-owners out there, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about it’s like, as soon as you get ONE thing fixed, something ELSE goes wrong.
Sometimes, it feels like a complete MONEY-SUCK, and I start fantasizing about selling my wheels and buying a bicycle.
Then I come to my senses and realize that I value my wardrobe and hairstyle too much to invest in things like bicycle pegs and a lame-ass helmet, and feel grateful for my car all over again.
But I digress. ANYWAY, I was bitching about my engine that keeps conking out …… and that’s when my friend said something that CHANGED MY WHOLE APPROACH to relationships and dating.
This is what he said:‘In a closed energy system, things tend to RUN DOWN and get DISORGANIZED. It’s inevitable.’
This is something called the Second Law of Thermodynamics and it literally made my whole body break out in goose flesh.
Isn’t it crazy how the laws of science and nature so often apply to HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS? It almost makes me believe that everything really is interlinked, and that someone up there really does have a plan for us all.
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Because just think about it: the same thing is exactly true for RELATIONSHIPS.
Relationships are a ‘closed energy system’: there’s you, there’s the other person, and there’s the interactions that you have together.
That’s it. No outside energy is coming in; it’s just you and that other person, and whatever you can create together Closed circuit.
And in a relationship - in that closed energy system - things get run-down and disorganized, INEVITABLY, unless you take ACTIVE ACTION to make sure that they don’t. It’s literally the same as any other closed energy system.
Just think of my car – heck, ANY car. That’s a closed energy system, and it DEFINITELY gets run-down and disorganized over time unless the owner takes active steps to see that it doesn’t fall apart.
That’s why we take our vehicles in to get the wheels rotated, the oil changed, and have regular maintenance checks every six months or so to see what else might need fixing.
The human body is the same thing: we get run-down and disorderly, inside and outside, without near-constant maintenance and well-being checkups; so we try to eat right, rest up at night, take our vitamins, and work out every couple days to keep ourselves in good health.
Ditto the house where you live: gets pretty messy pretty quick, doesn’t it? Most of us have to do a fairly serious cleanup at least once a week (if we’re lucky) to keep things livable: we pick up after ourselves, vacuum up the dust balls, and do the dishes every so often too.Are you beginning to see a pattern here?
The Second Law of Thermodynamics is RIGHT-ON when it comes to human relationships.
Unless we take active steps to maintain the level of goodness in our relationship, things will inevitably take a turn for the worse.
In other words:You can LITERALLY ‘coast’ your relationship right onto the rocks of divorce, break-up, and heartbreak because simply ‘not doing anything wrong’ isn’t good enough.
You must ACTIVELY invest GOOD ENERGY and ACTIVE MAINTENANCE into your relationship to see that it continues to grow and improve.
Because where human relationships (and cars, and human bodies, and houses) are concerned, there’s no such thing as a stable equilibrium:If it’s not getting BETTER, it’s ACTIVELY GETTING WORSE.
There’s no middle ground! if you truly want to know how to fix your broken relationship you need to understand this law of thermodynamics.
#2. If Your Relationship Isn’t Improving, It’s Decaying
Have you ever heard people in a relationship that’s just past its infancy start to say things like, ‘I don’t know it just feels like the SPARK isn’t there any more.
’Or, ‘We used to have such a great time together, but now all we do is order takeout and watch reruns.’Or, ‘
We used to be really interested in each other’s day we’d have interesting conversations about all sorts of stuff but now it’s more like we just can’t be bothered.’Or (the worst),
‘Our sex life is totally spiced up and fizzling! When we first got together we couldn’t keepour hands off each other, but now it’s just BLAH.
Does this sound familiar to you? Because most people have experienced this kind of thing first hand at least once in their lives and usually, more like TWO OR THREE times.
Maybe even more than that.And do you know WHY that is?It’s because there is NO SUCH THING as ‘homeostasis’ in a relationship. Either it’s improving, or it’s decaying.
Most of us know, deep down, that this is true … but we do nothing about it.And here’s why:It’s because – trumpets, please – MOST PEOPLE ARE BUTT-ASS LAZY.
Most people just can’t be BOTHERED to do what it takes to actually make their partner happy.
They’d prefer to settle for the EASY ROAD of ‘well, he’s not actually happy, but he’sprobably not UNHAPPY either.
And as a result, the relationships of such people continually go sour, decay, and DISINTEGRATE AROUND THEM like so much wet toilet paper
#3. Just Because It Was Easy At First Doesn’t Mean It’ll Always Be That Way (in other words, STOP BEING LAZY If you truly want to FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP)
A common (and misguided) reason for such relationship-killing laziness is them is conception that ‘relationships should be easy, because this one was at the start.
Look: let’s talk turkey here.When a relationship first kicks off, it’s like the world is in overdrive: you literally can’t get enough of each other.
You don’t know each other that well yet, so both of you are being super-polite, gobbling up each other’s opinions with nary a contradiction anywhere.
You make a constant effort to ensure that that person is impressed with you, so you keep everything spotlessly clean, wear your best underwear every day, and laugh hard at every single joke.
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Everything about each other is still a novelty (including each other’s bodies) which all adds up to this one home truth: RELATIONSHIPS ARE EASY AT THE START, BECAUSE THE ‘EFFORT’ IS EFFORTLESS.
It’s not hard to try hard at the start of a relationship – you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine, and your emotional well being is such that you’re able to be generous with everyone, not just your new partner.
But just because it’s easy AT FIRST doesn’t mean it’ll STAY that way because one day, you’ll be past the ‘first flush’ and will be for the NEXT stage: reality.
It’s when things get past the easy stage, and into the ‘hmm, this person can actually get on my nerves sometimes’ stage, that LAZY people find the ROT setting in because they still think they should be able to COAST the WHOLE WAY THROUGH a relationship.
In other words, they believe relationships should be EFFORTLESS – just like they are at the start And in some ways, these people are right:
for example, the vast majority of the time, in a good relationship, you won’t find yourself editing your opinions, changing your basic mannerisms, or creating a whole slew of new ‘habits’ to impress your partner and keep them happy.
To the extent that you’re able to ‘be yourself’ in a relationship, yeah – that part SHOULD be effortless, ninety-nine point nine percent of the time.
You don’t want to end up in a relationship where you need to ACT A ROLE in order to keep your partner attracted, for obvious reasons.
But CARING FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP ITSELF should NEVER be effortless because if you’re not PUTTING IN THE EFFORT, your relationship is DYING.
Slowly, steadily, a little bit at a time – like a rock eroding, or like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly –the rot is setting in and things are spiraling DOWNWARDS. Because if it’s not IMPROVING, it’s DECAYING.
And most people are too BUTT-ASS LAZY to do what needs to be done and keep things in tip-top condition.
It’s easier to just COAST. After all that’s how things were in the beginning, and every thing was JUST FINE then, wasn’t it?
Here’s a hint: NO. Relationships in the early stages are entirely different from established, mature relationships.
Things NATURALLY feel exciting and glow-y at the start – it’s called ‘infatuation’, and MOST PEOPLE will experience this at the start of a love relationship.
But thinking that feeling will last forever is about as stupid as flying near the sun with homemade wings made of wax.
And if you think you can ‘coast’ your way through a mature relationship and maintain the satisfaction, you’re headed for the same fate that Icarus experienced first-hand: A DIP IN THE OCEAN OF BREAK-UP SADNESS. From a great great height, no less.
#4. Ways to Fix Your Relationship On the Up-And-Up That Even Butt-Ass Lazy People Can Do
Hopefully by now, you’ve grasped the central theme of this article:If your relationship isn’t actively improving, it’s actively decaying.And maybe you’ve even got a toe-hold on the second theme:
You’ve got to put an EFFORT in to keep things stable and happy .But fear not! When I say ‘put an effort in’, I’m not talking about serious hard graft here.
No enforced labor or boot-camps. You don’t have to buy more stuff, work harder on your appearance,or wash the dishes. Nope: instead, I have the perfect solution for you.
But this solution work only if you're truly willing to learn how to fix a broken relationship.
#5. Think more about your partner during the day.
Consider what’s happening in their life, what they might be worried or stressed about, and then demonstrate that you’ve thought of them and what’s happening in their life.
For example, maybe they had to make a presentation at work today that they’ve been freaking out about for days; so call up at lunchtime and ask how it went.
If their old, kind boss has been replaced with a new, evil boss, give your partner a big juicy hug before they leave for work in the morning and tell them you know they can win the mover.
These sorts of things are EASY for you to do, and the gestures will go a long way to deepen the bond between you.YOUR TASK: Think of your partner during the day.
Actually think about what their day is probably like today, and what they might be going through with work, children, whatever. Then do something to let them know you’ve been thinking. A quick, smiley phone call is optimal.
#6. When they talk about their life get interested
Researchers now know that couples who report the highest levels of satisfaction, year-in,year out, decade after decade, are GENUINELY INTERESTED in each other’s lives.
They know what’s going on in each other’s careers, and they ask each other questions – and listen to the answers – on a regular basis.
Conversely, couples who report feelings of distance, loneliness, or isolation in their relationship tend NOT to show much interest in each other’s life:
They don’t care much about what each other does during the day, and they act disinterested or distracted when the subject comes up in discussion.
YOUR TASK: Talk more about what happens, to both of you, when you’re away from each other. this will help you both to fix your relationship problems and issues.
Practice actively listening when your partner talks about his or her job, problems, goals, or how awesome their lunchtime sandwich was today: ask questions, mimic their facial expression and energy level, and respond appropriately.
Caring about the details of each other’s lives – not just your shared experiences - is the glue that holds and rekindle your relationship together.
#7. Have more FUN together.
Fun is undervalued in most couples’ lives together. Just trying to hold down jobs and keep the house in a reasonable condition can take an ENORMOUS amount of time and energy (even more, if you’re a job-obsessed Type-A personality.)
Add any children, pets, hobbies, and the odd workout into the mix, and it’s amazing that any of us have time for relationships in the first place.
Getting stuck in a rut is easy if you’re time-poor – and that’s when the relationship deteriorates to the point that all you ever talk about is work stress, whose turn it is to wash up, and childcare.
This is when the sparkle can really start to fade – because that old nut about ‘the couple who plays together, stays together’ is TRUE. Shared good times do more for your bond than just about anything else.
Obviously, if one of you is a rich heiress, solving this problem will be relatively easy: you can take holidays to Acapulco together and slurp cocktails on the white-sand beaches.
For the rest of us, though, you’ll be glad to know that vast financial expenditure is not required – although if you’re willing to outlay any cash at all, an investment in a holiday (however brief, however non-luxury) will do AMAZING things for the fun levels in your relationship.
YOUR TASK: Invest in a PLAYFUL ATTITUDE with your partner.
Be witty. Laugh more. Make stupid jokes. Tickle each other. Play Twister. Whisper in eachother’s ears and snicker quietly together in public. Have fun whenever possible – it’ll bindyou even more tightly to each other
#8. Touch each other more.
Physical affection – as opposed to sex – goes a loooong way towards strengthening any couple’s bond. A good squeezy bear-hug before work is unrivalled in terms of starting the day off right; but the possibilities are literally endless.
Try sharing opposite ends of the couch and playing ‘footsie’ when you read the paper. Hold hands in the grocery store, play sex games, Squeeze a butt-cheek in passing.
Snuggle up when you watch TV. Cuddle in bed for 5 minutes after the alarm goes off.
Use your imagination and take great pleasure in all the non-sexual ways of ‘getting physical’ that a relationship presents –not only does it bring you even closer together, but it feels awesome.
YOUR TASK: Get more touchy-feely: take each opportunity for feel-good cuddling that presents itself.
This is an important issue, people. Relationships die every day that needn’t have done –and people experience all sorts of relationship-based pain that exists solely because of the innate human desire to BE LAZY AND COAST.
When it comes to your relationship, don’t do it. Remember, things will RUN DOWN and get DISORDERLY unless you take active action to strengthen the bond between you.
Coasting is for losers and people whose relationships go sour.
Avoid their ranks like the bubonic plague and safeguard yourself from heartbreak by putting the BOOT into your lazy tendencies and doing what it takes to CONTINUALLY IMPROVE your relationship.
Because unlike a car or a house, you can’t buy a new relationship when this one rots through.
I will stop here I hope you enjoyed reading this article on how to fix a broken relationship. But before you leave I would like to recommend you a relationship program that can truly hep you fix your broken relationship.
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on......and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other......My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other.And we’re just getting started!
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