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Ladies, I urge you to read this article on good questions to ask a guy until the end.
I believe you’ll have a lot of fun with this little secret plan for turning an otherwise ordinary relationship into one that shoots sparks and sets off the kind of fireworks that light up the whole sky and linger in his memory (and yours) for years to come.
I want to make it clear to you that this article on questions to ask a guy is not exactly about asking hooked up questions.
In fact it’s way more than that. This article will create a story and conversations that will stop him from losing interest in you.
Like any incredible, memorable evening, it takes a little bit of advance planning – but the results are well worth the effort.
In other words, you really can guarantee a second date if you make the first one THIS powerful and delicious. . .
In this marathon guide. I have prepared 21 important Questions to ask your boyfriend to Know How Much He wants you and also to know him in a better way
And these 21 questions has been divided in different categories like serious questions, dirty questions flirty questions to ask your boyfriend fun questions, questions to ask your boyfriend over text and questions that will turn him on.
Just read through and I believe you’ll love them and I won’t stop at that.
I have also created a checklist of strategies that you can use to ask your questions to a guy without getting him annoyed and at the same time making your conversation feel cozy, comfy and lively which you'll get chance to read after reading about these 21 questions.
So if you are ready let’s begin.
Set 1. # Flirty Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend.
#1. Do you remember the place first time we met?
It’s interesting to know whether he remembers or not where you guys first met. If he does remember, definitely you hold a very important place in his heart.
#2. Have you had one night stand with girls?
This is bit tricky but you need to ask this question to your guy. I doubt he’ll answer it or not.
But his facial expressions will tell the real story…. It’s flirty asking a guy about his one night stands at the same time it also gives you some idea about what he thinks of one night stands……The facial expressions and the eyes reveal it.
#3. Do you have crush on any other girl?
This is for me one of the best questions to ask your boyfriend for fun and little bit of teasing.
Every girl somewhere in her mind is curious to know whether her boyfriend have crush on any other girl or not?
Note that he too will think twice before giving answer to this question as it could end up being funny or embarrassing for you.
#4. With how many girls you have had sex?
Asking this flirty question to your boyfriend will help you know the count of girls he had slept with and where you stand in that number.
Probably not a good question to ask a guy even it is a bit flirty, but at the same time a serious question too and to know him better this is one of the top questions you must ask your guy.
Set 2 # Romantic questions to ask your boyfriend
#5. What is the ideal age for marriage?
Popping out this question will push him to think about marriage. Indirectly it will help you to find his views on marriage too.
#6. What type of girl you like?
While asking this romantic question to your boyfriend better be sure you don’t imagine anything about keeping yourself in mind.
Listen to his views and thoughts carefully because it will also help you to find where do you stand in his type of girls.
Probably, it might also become the deciding factor for the future of your relationship too.
#7. Do you know how to cook?
This is again one of the romantic important questions to ask your boyfriend.
Note that it’s not about cooking, it’s about when you are sick or not well will he support you and share the responsibility.
Those situations will prove the intensity of love and dedication he has for you and that’s what true romantic love is all about.
#8. Do you like kids?
This question will help you to find out his views about having a baby after marriage.
Also you would get to know how serious he is about being a father of a child and taking responsibility for the same.
Set 3 # Serious questions to ask your boyfriend.
#9. Do you keep resentment in your heart?
This question will help you to know whether he is egoistic or liberal in his thoughts.
It happens many guys take certain little things too seriously.
Getting answer to this question will help you understand what kind of topics or words to avoid talking to him so that he doesn’t feel bad or annoyed
#10. Have you ever told any lie to me?
Again this question will make him think why you are asking this? Is some kind of story working in your mind?
And it will certainly make him think seriously that’s for sure.
As I said this one is again a very important and serious question for existence and survival of any relationship.
Lying and betraying cannot be tolerated in any relationship. Yes of course if the lie is said in good faith for the betterment of relationship. It’s fine and acceptable.
Quick Note: I insist you to look into his eyes while asking this question. If he is honest he will answer this question looking straight in to your eyes.
But if he gets anxious or tries to avoid looking in your eyes.
It’s obvious he might be hiding something from you. So girls keep your fingers crossed for the “moment of truth” as this is again quite serious question which might take your breath away
Set 4 # questions to ask your boyfriend about love and relationships.
#11. How many relationships you had in past?
This could be little awkward but you should have some idea about his past. With how many girls he had been intimate with.
Note that your emotional security also holds importance as it would give you little idea what he feels like being with you in the current relationship.
#12. How your relationship ended with your ex?
This is bit emotional but again a very serious question to ask your guy about love, and if he answers this one you will get chance to learn about him in more emotional way.
Because most relationships end only due to emotional reasons it can be anything anger, sentiments, circumstances, wrong intuition, despair sadness it could be anything but only he can explain it in better way because it was his life situation once
And it would also help you to know the level of emotions he holds in his heart for his ex.
#13. Do you still love your ex?
Think twice before you ask this seriously serious question to your boyfriend.
His answer may tear you heart in pieces. If you have the courage to listen to what he says than go ahead or else stop.
#14. How you felt after your first breakup?
This question will take him into flash back and in most situations guys accept that breakup was very disheartening and tormenting.
Also try to ask a quick question in the middle of conversation “how would he feel if he breaks up with you”
After asking this question pause for a moment and look in his eyes. Believe me or not you will get your answer because in some situations eyes speak more than words.
Set 5 # questions to ask your boyfriend about yourself.
#15. What do you expect from me in a relationship?
This is one of the most serious questions to ask your boyfriend about yourself.
As you cannot assume that everything is perfect in your relationship and no change is required.
Every relationship requires little changes here and there to make it work smoothly.
Asking him this question about yourself will help you know what he expects from you to make things better in your love life.
#16. Do you admire my dressing sense?
Before you ask him this fun question about yourself tell him straight to be honest.
For a girl it’s important that her boyfriend likes the way she dress.
Ask him directly if he wants you to change your look a little bit. Take his answers constructively as it will help you to improve.
#17. Do you think of us living together?
This is a good question to ask your boyfriend. You would get to know whether he sees his future with you or not.
But ask this question only after you both have been in relationship for some time at least.
Set 6 # questions to ask your boyfriend to turn him on.
#18. Will you prefer watching porn with me?
Ask this question to your guy may turn him on as most guys love watching porn and he may assume in advance that you are planning to try some kinky sex ideas with him.
It will be great watching porn with him if he agrees you guys can have long night full of thrilling sex.
#19. Do you fantasize thinking about any celebrity?
This one is funny kind of questions to ask your boyfriend to turn him on. But I think after having a serious question answer session.
It’s good to pop out a freaky sexual question to turn him on and calm down his anxiety and keep things pleasing and comfortable.
#20. What you think of foreplay in sex?
This question will give idea on how romantic he is and how much importance he gives to foreplay in sex.
Note that foreplay is very important for great sex life without good foreplay sex is incomplete.
Having a guy who is awesome in foreplay and sex is amazing for any relationship.
#21. How do you define good sex life?
This is again one very romantic questions to ask your boyfriend about love and sex.
If he says that sex is important in a relationship but it should be enjoyed only when both the partners are willing to and comfortable with one another.
It means he considers sex to be mutual.
Sex should not be forced and if for some reason any one of the partner is not in a mood to have sex.
His or her decision needs to be treated with respect without trying to force him or her.
If you get this answer you are really lucky to have an understanding guy like him.
But if you are getting any negative answer, then it’s time for you to think before your relationship turns abusive and selfish someday.
Note that the questions about sex and turning him on can also be asked over text. Asking these questions to your boyfriend over text is will be easier and not make you feel awkward.
I am telling this because I don’t exactly know at what intimate stage of relationship you are with him.So, if it’s the beginning stage better ask this sexual questions to your guy over text.
All of this guide is geared to give you the upper hand in your conversation in your relationship by asking simple questions to your guy.
Now, as I said in the beginning of the post about the strategies that I wished to share with you to make the above 21 questions to work.
Here it is.
There are three parts to it: Finding Spark Points, Asking Hooked-In Questions, and (maybe the most critical) Avoiding the Mom Bombs.
1 Spark Points (Find ’em!)
Finding Spark Points is all about doing your advance research and laying your game plan. It’s just like subtly flirting with a guy in a disguise manner.
I’ll take you through the steps one at a time, and once you get the gist of it, you’ll be rocking and rolling on your own. This part is the easiest of the three.
2. Hooked-In Questions (Ask ’em!)
The Hooked-In Questions are the result of that game plan, and you don’t have to worry,
I’ve given you some examples of how they work, but I’ll warn you: for this to work—really work—you’ll have to customize the questions to each man you date.
Sometimes you’ll find crossover, but most of the time you won’t.
So what I’m teaching you is not just a generalized skill, like the “Ask Powerful Questions” it’s extremely specific. And it’s extremely effective as well.
3. Mom Bombs (DON’T drop ’em!) Since this is specifically designed for women, I want to be sure and bring your attention to one of the best ways to spice up the relationship.
So, now. Let’s move straight into your first step in the process of setting yourself up to be the most compelling woman in the room.
1. Find his Spark Points
Finding his Spark Points means doing the right kind of research on your man or any man, so that you can prep some specific questions to ask him.
You’re not doing this for the sake of finding out if he’s a creep (hopefully you already know that he’s not), but so that when you put these Spark Points to work for you, you’ll become the most amazing woman he’s ever met… making him addicted to you.
First, let me explain Sugar Spots. . .
Sugar Spots,” are intriguing little info-drops that he makes WHILE the two of you are on a date or talking together. These are little things that you’ll discover on the fly.
For example, if he tells you that he did a stint in the Peace Corps, and then he shakes his head and says, “I had no idea. . . ” you’ve just found a conversational Sugar Spot. Your job is to gently nudge it, tease it, and invite him to share more about it.
Here’s another example of a conversational Sugar Spot:
Jamie: “Yeah, I actually drove 7 hours one time just to see that band in concert.”
Laura: “No way! Tell me about that experience. . . ”
The thing about Sugar Spots is that you have to watch for them while things are happening, and you don’t know until you check it out whether it’s actually sweet and good, or it touches on something irritating.
It’s like making love. As you explore a new lover’s body, you would note what spots (ears? Inner elbow?) really make him buzz when you stroke them.
Those are tasty little sweet spots that you’ll mentally catalog and go back to, right?
But sometimes he shivers a bit, and when you go back to tease it a little more he gently pushes your hand (or tongue) away.
That’s not a place he wants stimulated right now. Sugar Spots should be sweet, not troublesome.
So what is a “Spark Point”? Spark Points are like Sugar Spots that you find in advance.
And in general, they are much safer bets than any Sugar Spot you might find during the flow of a conversation.
They’re also better simply because they eliminate any nervousness you have about the “what are we going to talk about” front, because you’ll already KNOW.
No, of course, you won’t know everything, but with these glowing little coals in your keeping, you’ll know a LOT.
Spark Points are little places in his life that are already hot to the touch – in a very good way.
They’re so hot that as soon as you drop a tiny bit of conversational fuel on them, they’re going to ignite. Beautifully!
And here’s how you find his Spark Points. Google him (and check his social profiles)
Believe me, most guys are going to Google YOU before they ever ask you out on a date.
It’s standard these days (and yet one more reason why you shouldn’t post all those drunken party pics on Facebook).
If nothing shows up on an internet search, or if you just don’t have time before the date, use a “hunt and gather technique” by going over your previous experiences with him.
What you’re looking for are conversational leads that are tied to the strongest parts of his personality, hobbies, interests, or work.
WARNING: Don’t go off on a liking, friending, or commenting spree. You’re just info-gathering, not stalking him. Look but don’t touch.
Now make a note of any particular hobbies, pursuits, or unusual things he’s interested in or talking and posting about. It might be perfectly ordinary (like snowboarding).
Or can even be things that are somewhat controversial, like a particular method he has for something that other people don’t necessarily like or agree with.
More ways to find Spark Points. . .
I already mentioned Googling him and checking Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. Where else can you look for possible Spark Points?
Here are a few more ideas if you’re nervous about it, but don’t worry too much about finding zillions of them. All you really need are three or four to get going with.
Check his blog(s). If the business he works for is online, browse the site and read his online bio.
Does his name appear in any forums online? What sites does he appear to follow? What kinds of content does he seem to share?
Take a look through his photos – who appears in them and where are they taken?
You can also think back over the last conversations you’ve had with him, or if you were introduced by a mutual acquaintance, ask your friend privately to info-share.
(Warning: be calm and light about your questions to a mutual friend – anything you say may get back to your date, and you don’t want him getting the wrong idea.)
If he’s your friend’s roommate, you can also gather clues from the magazines, books, sports equipment, and other stuff laying around their apartment.
More thoughts to get you on the trail of his Spark Points:
Is he an avid sports enthusiast? Who is his favorite team?
Who does he love to “boo?”
Is he a fitness (or anti-fitness) type? Does he work with his hands?
Has he written a book?
Is he a foodie?
Does he follow a paleo, vegetarian, raw food, or other diet? Have you browsed his Facebook “likes?”
What bands are on his tee-shirts?
Is he a supporter of a particular cause?
Can you find any Amazon (or other) reviews he’s done? Has he traveled to some unusual places?
What groups are listed on his LinkedIn profile?
Are his pets “rescue” animals or full-breed?
Do his online postings show he’s typically up at odd hours? Does he teach workshops or classes?
What sites/newsletters/blogs does he subscribe to?
Is he an artist? What media does he work in?
What strong opinions is he expressing?
Is he a gamer?
Does anything make him “lol?”
Where did he grow up, go to school, or live?
Where does he seem to invest a lot of time or attention?
2 Now it’s time for some Hooked-In Questions
A Hooked-In Question is one that elicits a strong, excited response. It’s not your grandma’s question.
In fact, if you can envision inviting your date to dinner with your extended family, pretty much every question your family grills him with are ANTI-Hooked-In Questions.
They’re the kind of questions your Gramma would ask, bless her ever-loving heart.
And where do you work?
Do you make good money doing that?
What are you studying in school?
So tell us about yourself!
Are you on The Twitter?
Do you have children?
What are your intentions toward our Jessica?
I *love* you, Gramma, but Elvis save us all, these are painful. And anything that requires a yes or no answer leaves you about the same as you were before you asked that questions to a guy.
These are the questions you can ask him that make him think you are some kind of beautiful, mind-reading goddess, because they show you KNOW something about an activity or interest that’s IMPORTANT to him.
Let’s say you learn he’s a snowboarding fiend. . .
Outsider questions to ask a guy:
“What do you do for fun?” Outsider question: “What’s your favorite sport?” Outsider question: “Do you like to snowboard?”
Hooked-In question: “What do you need to know to go snowboarding for the first time?”
Hooked-In question: “Do you prefer softer snowboarding boots for better control, or the hard-design kind?” Hooked-In question: “How do you choose the right snowboard?”
Hooked-In question: “What’s the craziest snowboard run you ever made?”
Do you see the difference?
The Outsider questions (I almost decided to call them Gramma questions, but I felt really bad about that because I have such an awesome grandmother, and you probably do, too) are either yes-or-no questions or require only single word answers.
They are superficial and easy to answer without giving them any thought.
They either require no energy, or (worse!) they actually SUCK energy out of you like little question vampires.
The whole goal of a Hooked-In Question is to spark a genuine enthusiastic response.
The best ones give the recipient a jolt of surprise, because they never expected you to engage them on anything more than a superficial level – especially on a first date!
The BIGGEST reason this works like freaking magic
Almost no one expects anything great from a first date. Sad but true. In fact, many of us actually dread them in some ways.
After all, you don’t know each other, so you have no idea if he wears jeggings or mantyhose or leather fingerless gloves.
He might dance like Elaine on Seinfeld. He might be late, never show, pick a horrible movie, spill his drink on you, forget your name, or turn out to be married.
The list of first date miseries is LONG.
But you go out on them, because if you didn’t, you might never find that electric connection that can turn into the greatest love of your life.
OBVIOUSLY, you could (and should) use Hooked-In Questions with lots of different people in your life.
BUT. . . Since the conversational engagement bar is SO LOW on a first date, you look like an amazing, brilliant woman when you can give him a hit of emotional juice like this and create the tension.
Yes, it takes a little bit of advance work, but if you’re interested in making a HUGE impression on a man, it’s definitely worth the effort you put in.
A few more examples of Hooked-In Questions to ask a guy.
Okay, I promised to give you some more examples, and if you haven’t already gotten the sense of how these go, browse through the ones below and you’ll get the hang of it in no time.
Spark Point: He follows a paleo diet. Outsider question: Do you like eating paleo?
Outsider question: Is it hard to follow a paleo diet?
Hooked-In question: Tell me about an awesome paleo dessert you’ve made.
Hooked-In question: What’s your favorite guilty cheat in paleo?
Spark Point: He works for a famous non-profit organization.
Outsider question: Do you like working there? Outsider question: How long have you been working with them?
Hooked-In question: If you could spend a year volunteering for any charity organization in the world, how would you choose?
Spark Point: He’s a whiskey (or whisky – the Scots omit the “e”) aficionado
Outsider question: What’s your favorite whiskey?
Outsider question: I have a bottle of blah blah blah whiskey that’s been sitting in my cabinet for 9 years. Is it still good? (This just shows you’re clueless about whiskey.)
Hooked-In question: Scotch, Irish, Bourbon, Canadian, or American? (Note: you might think this could evoke a one-word answer, but it’s never happened before.)
Hooked-In question: How did you first learn the difference between cheap whiskey and the good stuff?
Spark Point: He’s a fan of a particular singer/songwriter.
Outsider question: What are some of the songs he/she wrote? Outsider question: Did you ever see him/her in concert?
Hooked-In question: Where were you when you first heard one of his/her songs? Hooked-In question: Tell me about the all-time best memory you associate with one of his/her songs (I know, not precisely a question, but you get my meaning.)
You get the idea by now. You’re looking for ways to encourage him to tell you about something he feels passionate about. Which magically makes him associate his passion NOT ONLY with the subject of your conversation, but also. . . YOU.
3. Avoid the Mom Bombs!
In this section I want to share a vital piece of information about NOT behaving like a man’s mom, on a date or ever.
The reason this section is in here is because women are so cultured to the role of mother that we sometimes tend to play the role even when it’s inappropriate or damaging.
Being a mother is a wonderful thing. But when you mother a man, he might enjoy having you take care of everything so he doesn’t have to, but eventually one of two things will happen:
• He’ll resent you for it
• He’ll see you so completely as a mom that he looks elsewhere for a Girl friend
Like I say over and over again, you want a MAN, not a LITTLE BOY. So be his woman, his girlfriend, his love interest, his sex siren. . . but don’t be his mother.
What exactly is a Mom Bomb?
A Mom Bomb is something you say or do in the role of a mother rather than a hot date.
You don’t want to compose any of your Hooked-In Questions around “momly” issues, and if your normal day-to-day speech and mannerisms are soaked in mommy-ness, you should take extra care in prepping yourself for this date.
Note: If you’re not sure how you rate on the heavily mommyfied scale, ask a guy friend to help you decide. And you can look at the areas below and get more of an idea as well.
Mom Bombs can sneak up on you, so you have to be diligent both before and during the date in order to avoid accidentally dropping one and completely destroying your chances of taking this relationship somewhere good and healthy.
Mom Bombs fall into four main areas. . .
There are generally four areas you want to either stay away from or tread with extreme care in as you create your Hooked-In Questions and navigate your first date.
But before we get into them, it may help to remember that not every woman’s “mom issues” play out within all of these categories.
So, find the places where you’re MOST likely to misstep, and take that into consideration as you navigate the waters of your first date. . .
Not every woman thinks like an obsessive mom about the relative cleanliness of various places or items (eating utensils, apartments, restaurant bathrooms, litter boxes, etc.), but sometimes the comments pop out anyway.
Things like. . .
“Here, let me wipe that glass for you; I don’t think they got it very clean.”
“Please pardon the mess in here; I haven’t vacuumed this week.”
“I’m so sorry the dog jumped up on you; I think I can get those stains out for you if you’ll let me. . . ”
“Careful! You don’t want to get that sauce on your khakis.”
Also, DON’T. . .
Tidy up every magazine or other item he shifts out of place.
Offer him hand sanitizer, wipes, or napkins from your purse.
Clear or organize (for the busboy) the dishes, napkins, or tableware at your meal; let the waiter do that.
Adjust papers or other items of his.
Worry aloud about the sanitation rating at this particular chili dog joint.
You get the idea. Look over your Hooked-In questions and make sure there’s no trace of Momliness. All clear? Then take a look at the next category.
2. Conversations about grocery shopping, meal prep, and food choices.
This one may feel a bit odd if you find out your date is a foodie, has a particular diet he follows, or even is an accomplished cook.
But there are still SO many food-related Mom Bombs, so take a look at the list below and make sure you’re not about to drop one! Don’t let yourself say things like:
“What brand of [insert food item] do you think this place uses? I don’t think it’s as fresh as the kind I normally get.”
“You should never order medium rare; it’s not safe.”
“We can at least share some shrimp cocktail, don’t you think? Is that really out of bounds for you if you’re a vegetarian? You need protein, after all.”
In addition, also, do not ask this questions to a guy.
Ask about prices he gets on certain foods.
Encourage him to “cheat” on a diet.
Use a coupon to pay for anything!
Bring out ketchup packets or sugar substitutes from your purse.
3. Issues related to self-care and/or etiquette
It’s a rare man who doesn’t know how to dress or conduct himself on a first date.
Nearly everyone is on their best behavior when it’s a new situation, new potential relationship, a first meeting.
However, old habits die hard, so plan in advance the things you don’t want to say just as carefully as the things you do. . .
Among the potential Mom Bomb hazards that lie ahead in the issues of self-care and etiquette are the following comments and questions:
“Don’t forget to wear a jacket; it might be chilly.”
“You don’t want to order that; it’s so unhealthy for you.” • “Are you sure you should order a third cocktail?”
“I have a great hairdresser you could try. . . ”
And of course:
Don’t remind him about the time/place of your date or discuss what he should wear.
Don’t email him links to maps or the best route to the place where the two of you are meeting.
If you’re driving together, don’t comment on his choice of routes.
Don’t comment about the size of the tip that should be left.
4. Conversations about children and child-raising
If you are a single mom or are desperately hoping to have kids, this one may be the most difficult of Mom Bomb areas to navigate.
Resist the urge to look at your date as a potential daddy (it’s TOO SOON – you’re not there yet!); instead, consider him as a man.
If you have kids, of course you can mention it – he may have some of his own.
But don’t spend your time talking about their schooling issues, heath-related concerns, cute things they said recently, how well they performed in tee-ball, etc.
And for the love of all that’s grown up, don’t use baby talk (even if you must interact on the phone with your children) at any time during the course of your date!
Focus on him as a man, and let him focus on you as a woman. A sexy, desirable, confident potential partner.
Among the things you should never ask:
“How many kids would you like to have someday?”
“Thank you, but no. I don’t drink alcohol because I’d like to get pregnant / I’m nursing.”
And always on the “not on the first date!” list:
Have conversations with him about your children’s father.
Invite him to look at videos or photos of your kids on your phone.
Push his glass back from the edge of the table (like you would for a baby).
Wear or bring ANY accessory with pictures of your children on it. This includes necklaces with a child-shaped pendant for each of your kids, sweatshirts, tees or tote bags with their photos, etc. (You can have pictures on your phone; just don’t make him go through them.)
Now you have a totally UNFAIR ADVANTAGE
Now you have a totally unfair advantage over all the other women painfully making their way through difficult, uncomfortable, awkward first dates. You’re bringing the POWER.
I will stop here. I believe you loved reading this marathon article on good questions to ask a guy. If you really loved reading this watch this powerful video presentation below.
My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on......and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other......My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other.And we’re just getting started!
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