Just think of my car – heck, ANY car. That’s a closed energy system, and it DEFINITELY gets run-down and disorganized over time unless the owner takes active steps to see that it doesn’t fall apart.

That’s why we take our vehicles in to get the wheels rotated, the oil changed, and have regular maintenance checks every six months or so to see what else might need fixing.

The human body is the same thing: we get run-down and disorderly, inside and outside, without near-constant maintenance and well-being checkups; so we try to eat right, rest up at night, take our vitamins, and work out every couple days to keep ourselves in good health.

Ditto the house where you live: gets pretty messy pretty quick, doesn’t it? Most of us have to do a fairly serious cleanup at least once a week (if we’re lucky) to keep things livable: we pick up after ourselves, vacuum up the dust balls, and do the dishes every so often too.Are you beginning to see a pattern here?

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The Second Law of Thermodynamics is RIGHT-ON when it comes to human relationships.

Unless we take active steps to maintain the level of goodness in our relationship, things will inevitably take a turn for the worse.

In other words:You can LITERALLY ‘coast’ your relationship right onto the rocks of divorce, break-up, and heartbreak because simply ‘not doing anything wrong’ isn’t good enough.

You must ACTIVELY invest GOOD ENERGY and ACTIVE MAINTENANCE into your relationship to see that it continues to grow and improve.

Because where human relationships (and cars, and human bodies, and houses) are concerned, there’s no such thing as a stable equilibrium:If it’s not getting BETTER, it’s ACTIVELY GETTING WORSE.

There’s no middle ground! if you truly want to know how to fix your broken relationship you need to understand this law of thermodynamics.

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#2. If Your Relationship Isn’t Improving, It’s Decaying

Have you ever heard people in a relationship that’s just past its infancy start to say things like, ‘I don’t know  it just feels like the SPARK isn’t there any more.

’Or, ‘We used to have such a great time together, but now all we do is order takeout and watch reruns.’Or, ‘

We used to be really interested in each other’s day we’d have interesting conversations about all sorts of stuff but now it’s more like we just can’t be bothered.’Or (the worst),

‘Our sex life is totally spiced up and fizzling! When we first got together we couldn’t keepour hands off each other, but now it’s just BLAH.

Does this sound familiar to you? Because most people have experienced this kind of thing first hand at least once in their lives and usually, more like TWO OR THREE times.

Maybe even more than that.And do you know WHY that is?It’s because there is NO SUCH THING as ‘homeostasis’ in a relationship. Either it’s improving, or it’s decaying.

Most of us know, deep down, that this is true … but we do nothing about it.And here’s why:It’s because – trumpets, please – MOST PEOPLE ARE BUTT-ASS LAZY.

Most people just can’t be BOTHERED to do what it takes to actually make their partner happy.

They’d prefer to settle for the EASY ROAD of ‘well, he’s not actually happy, but he’sprobably not UNHAPPY either.

And as a result, the relationships of such people continually go sour, decay, and DISINTEGRATE AROUND THEM like so much wet toilet paper

#3. Just Because It Was Easy At First Doesn’t Mean It’ll Always Be That Way (in other words, STOP BEING LAZY If you truly want to FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP)

A common (and misguided) reason for such relationship-killing laziness is them is conception that ‘relationships should be easy, because this one was at the start.

Look: let’s talk turkey here.When a relationship first kicks off, it’s like the world is in overdrive: you literally can’t get enough of each other.

You don’t know each other that well yet, so both of you are being super-polite, gobbling up each other’s opinions with nary a contradiction anywhere.

You make a constant effort to ensure that that person is impressed with you, so you keep everything spotlessly clean, wear your best underwear every day, and laugh hard at every single joke.

Everything about each other is still a novelty (including each other’s bodies) which all adds up to this one home truth: RELATIONSHIPS ARE EASY AT THE START, BECAUSE THE ‘EFFORT’ IS EFFORTLESS.

It’s not hard to try hard at the start of a relationship – you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine, and your emotional well being is such that you’re able to be generous with everyone, not just your new partner.

But just because it’s easy AT FIRST doesn’t mean it’ll STAY that way because one day, you’ll be past the ‘first flush’ and will be for the NEXT stage: reality.

 It’s when things get past the easy stage, and into the ‘hmm, this person can actually get on my nerves sometimes’ stage, that LAZY people find the ROT setting in because they still think they should be able to COAST the WHOLE WAY THROUGH a relationship.

In other words, they believe relationships should be EFFORTLESS – just like they are at the start And in some ways, these people are right:

for example, the vast majority of the time, in a good relationship, you won’t find yourself editing your opinions, changing your basic mannerisms, or creating a whole slew of new ‘habits’ to impress your partner and keep them happy.

To the extent that you’re able to ‘be yourself’ in a relationship, yeah – that part SHOULD be effortless, ninety-nine point nine percent of the time.

You don’t want to end up in a relationship where you need to ACT A ROLE in order to keep your partner attracted, for obvious reasons.

But CARING FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP ITSELF should NEVER be effortless because if you’re not PUTTING IN THE EFFORT, your relationship is DYING.

Slowly, steadily, a little bit at a time – like a rock eroding, or like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly –the rot is setting in and things are spiraling DOWNWARDS. Because if it’s not IMPROVING, it’s DECAYING.

And most people are too BUTT-ASS LAZY to do what needs to be done and keep things in tip-top condition.

It’s easier to just COAST. After all that’s how things were in the beginning, and every thing was JUST FINE then, wasn’t it?

Here’s a hint: NO. Relationships in the early stages are entirely different from established, mature relationships.

Things NATURALLY feel exciting and glow-y at the start – it’s called ‘infatuation’, and MOST PEOPLE will experience this at the start of a love relationship.

But thinking that feeling will last forever is about as stupid as flying near the sun with homemade wings made of wax.

And if you think you can ‘coast’ your way through a mature relationship and maintain the satisfaction, you’re headed for the same fate that Icarus experienced first-hand: A DIP IN THE OCEAN OF BREAK-UP SADNESS. From a great great height, no less.

#4. Ways to Fix Your Relationship On the Up-And-Up That Even Butt-Ass Lazy People Can Do

Hopefully by now, you’ve grasped the central theme of this article:If your relationship isn’t actively improving, it’s actively decaying.And maybe you’ve even got a toe-hold on the second theme:

You’ve got to put an EFFORT in to keep things stable and happy .But fear not! When I say ‘put an effort in’, I’m not talking about serious hard graft here.

No enforced labor or boot-camps. You don’t have to buy more stuff, work harder on your appearance,or wash the dishes. Nope: instead, I have the perfect solution for you.

But this solution work only if you're truly willing to learn how to fix a broken relationship.

Right?

#5. Think more about your partner during the day.

Consider what’s happening in their life, what they might be worried or stressed about, and then demonstrate that you’ve thought of them and what’s happening in their life.

For example, maybe they had to make a presentation at work today that they’ve been freaking out about for days; so call up at lunchtime and ask how it went.

If their old, kind boss has been replaced with a new, evil boss, give your partner a big juicy hug before they leave for work in the morning and tell them you know they can win the mover.

These sorts of things are EASY for you to do, and the gestures will go a long way to deepen the bond between you.YOUR TASK: Think of your partner during the day.

Actually think about what their day is probably like today, and what they might be going through with work, children, whatever. Then do something to let them know you’ve been thinking. A quick, smiley phone call is optimal.

#6. When they talk about their life get interested

Researchers now know that couples who report the highest levels of satisfaction, year-in,year out, decade after decade, are GENUINELY INTERESTED in each other’s lives.

They know what’s going on in each other’s careers, and they ask each other questions – and listen to the answers – on a regular basis.

Conversely, couples who report feelings of distance, loneliness, or isolation in their relationship tend NOT to show much interest in each other’s life:

They don’t care much about what each other does during the day, and they act disinterested or distracted when the subject comes up in discussion.

YOUR TASK: Talk more about what happens, to both of you, when you’re away from each other. this will help you both to fix your relationship problems and issues.

Practice actively listening when your partner talks about his or her job, problems, goals, or how awesome their lunchtime sandwich was today: ask questions, mimic their facial expression and energy level, and respond appropriately.

Caring about the details of each other’s lives – not just your shared experiences - is the glue that holds and rekindle your relationship together.