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One of the biggest complaints I heard from my Man Panel was the lack of great oral sex in their lives. They believe that most women just don’t know how to give oral sex to a man.
“She won’t give me head unless I beg her to. I hate having to beg for it. Even when she will do it, the thrill just isn’t there.”… Martin (United States)
“It makes me feel like she finds me repulsive since she has zero interest in giving me oral sex and sucking my dick.”. . . Jack (Australia)
“I love my wife and we have built a happy life. But I find myself fantasizing about the girlfriend I had before I met her. She wasn’t someone I wanted to marry, but she gave me the best blow-jobs of my life.”. . . Justine (United States)
“I just wish she’d act like she enjoyed it. Surprise me once in a while and suck my cock because she wants to. Not because I’ve asked her to.. . .Ricardo (United States)
As today you’ll learn exactly what is oral sex or mouth sex the different oral sex positions and how to give oral sex to a man.
So, stay with me for the next 15 minutes or so if you wish to make your man obsess with you.
I understand that for a lot of women, giving head or oral sex feels like one more chore. They don’t call it a “job” for nothing, right?
But one of the best secrets for keeping your guy 100% focused on you is mastering the art of the enthusiastic BJ.
This isn’t the regular do-it-like-always and hope-it’s-over-quick kind of oral.
With this oral sex technique you will learn how to elevate your status from okay to WOW! in his mind.
Even for those of you who enjoy giving your guy head, this technique will floor him.
Every women giving oral sex to a man must read this Pre-oral primer step first.
Seriously, if you aren’t 100% confident or need to brush up on your BJ skills, read this first!
Ask what he likes before giving him oral sex. Every penis is slightly different, that is why oral sex techniques also has to be different – So asking your man what he enjoys is the number one thing you need to do.
Speed, position, and area of focus on are critical to know in order to do a custom-made job for him.
Wetter is better when giving oral sex to your man. Flavored lubricant or lots of saliva is key.
A dry mouth on a dry penis can be painful. Make sure you’re well-hydrated to be in top saliva-producing mode.
Practice oral sex techniques. If you haven’t been giving many Blow job’s lately, your jaw will likely cramp up and it hurts like a mo-fo.
A lot of women don’t like giving oral sex to a man simply because it can be uncomfortable.
Like any skill, the more you practice oral sex techniques, the easier it becomes!
You can practice oral sex techniques by giving shorter oral sessions with him (like as a precursor to vaginal sex) and you can also practice alone with a banana.
Getting used to breathing through your nose, relaxing your throat muscles to calm your gag reflex, and keeping your jaw open make a big difference in your comfort level while giving head.
Not just the tip. The tip of the penis (the glans) is the most sensitive part on his body.
Too much tongue action too soon may not feel good for him.
Think of how you enjoy oral sex.
Most women like his tongue attention to start with slow and soft.
And then vary between direct pressure on the clitoris and licking/sucking on the inner and outer labia.
Gradually building up to more intense and focused pressure and stimulation on the clit.
If he just went to town sucking or pressing hard on it right off the bat, you’d probably yelp in pain.
So think of how you enjoy oral and apply the same logic to his penis.
The length of the shaft, the base, balls, and perineum are all places to utilize and focus on while giving him oral pleasure. Start slowly and gently.
Vary where and how you are placing your mouth and tongue on him and build up speed and pressure as you go.
Use your hands to give oral sex to a man. While deep-throating feels amazing for him, not every woman can do it.
Some of you just have too strong of a gag reflex. Or his penis might just be too big.
Or you may have a cold or allergies making filling your mouth and throat up with his cucumber impossible because breathing through your nose is a no-go.
Whatever the case, using your hands can help you bring him more and varied sensations and also helps your stamina.
Circling the base of his penis with your fingers in an “OK” sign, cupping his balls, and also using your hand in conjunction with your mouth are all important to incorporate.
Circling is one of the best mouth sex technique to try on your man.
If he happens to be well-endowed (length or girth) using your lubricated hand as an extension to your mouth is key to sustaining your session.
It’s okay to take a break from using your mouth and use your hands for a minute or two.
Be enthusiastic when you are giving oral sex to a man. This is probably the number one tip on giving great oral.
He LOVES it when you act like you genuinely want to give him sexual pleasure.
If he has to beg or you seem like you dread it, it massively diminishes his enjoyment.
I will tell you another personal story of my wife. She use to HATE giving me head. Like dreaded it. Avoided it at all costs.
I thought it was uncomfortable for her and even a little gross.
Of course she wanted to give me oral sex, but in her mind, that was different.
She couldn’t reliably orgasm from intercourse, but I could. So to her that justified her getting oral without having to give it.
One night, some how she gave in and started giving me the most timid BJ in history.
I stopped me, because I recognized that her resistance was actually coming from fear of not knowing what in the hell she was doing. It was obvious she was clueless!
I took the time to explain what to do. I was calm and reassuring and that gave her huge confidence boost.
The more I coached her, the better she got in giving oral sex.
Once she realized just how much power her mouth and hand had over driving me wild, she switched from dreading giving head to enthusiastically giving it. . . even enjoying it.
Phew…alright, now let’s move on to learning the actual oral sex technique!
This is the only pre-planning you need to do for this. We’ve already talked here and there about how men process things visually in my past article.
If you missed it, let me say it again: Men are highly visually stimulated when it comes to sex.
You are going to use two methods of visual stimulation in this technique. A mirror is one of them.
Wherever you are going to be giving him this mind-blowing BJ or oral sex, I want you to place a mirror in his line of sight.
If you have a vanity or full-length mirror already up in your bedroom, that’s fantastic.
When you are going to give him head, I want you to place your body so that he is able to see your backside in the mirror. This would mean he is facing the mirror.
If it’s a full-length mirror, a great sex position would be him facing the mirror with you on your knees.
If it’s a vanity or dresser mirror, him sitting on the bed facing the mirror with you on the floor between his legs is perfect.
He is going to be able to look down and watch you giving him head, and he can also watch you (and your ass) in the mirror.
You can wear cute panties, sexy lingerie, be naked, or even stay in your street clothes.
A mistake that many women make is going straight for the deep-throating without warming him up first.
Guys, like girls, need a little time to get into the mood.
You can do this by caressing, kissing, licking, or stroking his genital region.
Tell him how gorgeous his penis is and what you’d like to do with it – or X-rated words to that effect.
This is also a good opportunity to find out what he likes.
Stroke different areas (the testicles and perineum are sure winners) and ask him how it feels.
Some men are super-sensitive in certain areas and cannot bear more than the slightest touch, so that’s good information to have before you begin in earnest.
Tell him he is in for a treat and get him into position in front of the mirror.
His penis is your ultimate destination, but you are going to take a slow route to get there.
Start by kissing his neck. Run your fingers and mouth slowly down his chest.
Tweak his nipples with your fingers or teeth.
If he still has pants or boxers on, run your hands or even your mouth over his covered penis. Massage him lightly.
Then move your attention toward his hips, groin, and upper thighs.
Lightly caress and tickle him. Run your tongue in circles in those areas. You can also touch, massage, and lick his inner thighs, too.
Do this for several minutes. Graze your fingers and mouth over his penis but then quickly move away to these other areas.
You are going to have him begging to put your mouth on him and give him the most perfect oral sex of his life time.
He may grab your head at this point and try and move it for you. Tell him, “Not so fast,” if he tries that.
Stop what you are doing and make eye contact with him.
Smile and lick your lips. If you need to, take off his pants or underwear so he’s naked before you.
Grab his penis firmly and ask him, “Do you want me to suck your dick now?” with a sly smile. One of the best oral sex technique to use on a man and attract him physically.
Or you could simply state, “I’m going to suck your dick now.”
It’s bold and he will love hearing that question or sentence come out of your mouth as you are looking at him.
As you take him into your mouth, make eye contact with him.
Take it out and slide your mouth alongside his entire length like it’s a cob of corn. Swirl your tongue over the tip and slide it back down the other side.
Break eye contact and then re-make eye contact as you are doing this. Your eye contact is a big turn on but remember, it’s not a staring contest.
Begin to slowly take him back into your mouth as far as you can.
Make eye contact as you are lowering your mouth on him and let out an “mmmmm” sound.
Stop and ask him if he likes watching you in the mirror. Make sure he’s aware that you’ve strategically placed yourself in his view.
Take him back into your mouth and continue to give him head.
Make sure to moan and make “mmm” sounds as you go.
You can break and re-make eye contact as you continue to give him head.
He may be intently watching you or your reflection in the mirror, or he may be closing his eyes in pleasure at times, too.
Your mouth or jaw may get tired, but even if it doesn’t, switch it up to just a lubricated hand for a minute or two.
Tell him how much you love sucking his dick. You can say:
“I love pleasing you this way.”
“I love having you in my mouth.”
“I love your cock.”
“I love sucking your dick.”
“I love giving you head.”
“Do you like how I suck your dick?”
They all work, so whatever feels most natural for you. But I can tell you, saying it raunchy is a big turn-on for you both.
There are a number of oral sex techniques, so I’ll only cover the most basic here.
The basic position for oral sex is to wrap your lips over your teeth (so that your teeth don’t scrape against his sensitive skin) and slide your mouth over his penis.
You can then bob your head in and out to simulate the feeling of his penis thrusting into your vagina.
Men can develop bad habits when it comes to receiving oral sex.
If you are an oral sex novice, ask him to sit back, relax, and enjoy it without trying to thrust into your mouth or pull your head towards him.
If he can sit still and let you do your thing, it will be much easier to control your movements and avoid the gag reflex.
You shouldn’t feel like you have to take his entire penis into your mouth (called “deep throating”).
Considering that your mouth is roughly only 3 to 3.5 inches deep while the average erect penis is about 5.5 inches, there’s no way you can get the whole thing in without practice.
It is possible to learn to overcome the gag reflex and allow a portion of his penis to enter your throat, but it’s best to learn to do this on your own (using something like a popsicle) before trying to do it during sex.
The best oral sex techniques combines oral stimulation with manual stimulation.
Try sliding your mouth over his penis while stroking his shaft with your hands.
However, since the shaft of the penis has relatively few nerve endings compared to the head, you’ll give him more pleasure by focusing on the head of the penis.
Use your tongue to stimulate the highly sensitive frenulum, the place on the head of the penis where the head and foreskin are attached.
When your mouth gets tired, don’t be afraid to take a break by switching from oral to manual stimulation.
His penis will be slippery and wet from your saliva, so your hands will feel amazing to him.
Like everything in sex, you can win lots of points simply by being enthusiastic.
He loves seeing you “worshipping his love rod,” or whatever expression he likes to use, so look up and smile at him.
Act like his penis tastes like the most delicious ambrosia you’ve ever encountered. He’ll adore you for it!
Gradually start to pick up speed. Listen to his breathing as a gauge for how close he is to climaxing.
You don’t want to lose momentum or interfere with his orgasm.
However, when you feel like he’s in the home stretch, you are going to give him some verbal encouragement. Say:
“I want you to cum for me”
“Cum for me baby”
“I want to make you cum”
“I want to make you cum so hard”
Any variation of that sentence works to get him to release. Also, some men are talkers as they are getting close to orgasm.
Obviously you can’t carry on a conversation with his dick in your mouth, but you can certainly say “mmmhhhmmm” as a yes to what he’s saying.
I will tell you. . . very few women do this last part when giving oral sex to a man.
In fact, there is a chance your man has never experienced it before.
It’s like the cherry on top of the whipped cream on top of the yummiest sundae he’s ever had.
When he cums, I want you to swallow every last drop.
To most men, watching a woman swallow his ejaculate is the hottest thing possible.
It can be a mind over matter scenario to not gag though. Just gulp it down as quick as you possibly can.
However, there are some guys who want to cum on their woman’s face, hair, or breasts. If he pulls out to do that, let him.
Note – it may feel degrading to you to have him ejaculate on you. However, to him, it isn’t degrading at all.
It’s another way he feeds his visual appetite. To see the physical proof of his orgasm that you gave him is a turn on.
It is the final and most crucial show of your enthusiasm of giving him head and in a way, it feels like love to him because you are openly accepting his “essence.”
Finally a Question from a Reader: Does every blowjob have to end in orgasm?
For this technique, I think you should give him head until he cums.
However, nothing I tell you to do here is an absolute requirement.
And certainly, every time you put his dick in your mouth you shouldn’t be expected to stay there until he ejaculates.
If he has a long refractory period between erections, give him head for a few minutes and then switch it up to vaginal intercourse.
That’s it this is how to give oral sex to a man. I will stop now. I believe you truly loved reading this marathon guide on oral sex techniques.
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!