Some of what I share here might come as a surprise. Some of it might freak you out. But I’m sharing it because being a man I understand perfectly a man’s fascination and chase instincts, and how it’s different than yours, and this fascination and chase instinct is going to be the the foundation of this entire article. So let's find out How to make a man chase you.
First let's understand man and the connection between fascination, chase love and purpose.
Let’s review the equation again. Purpose + Efficacy = Activated Drive + Fascination = Chase + Lasting Love.
As you can see, the end result we’re going for is lifelong chase and emotionally lasting love. But you can’t make him love you and want you. You have no direct control over whether or no the has feelings of love for you.
That’s why we have to work backward on the equation to discover the things you can control that will stack the odds in your favor and make him chase you.
So that brings us back to fascination. Note that chase and fascination are related terms, because we only chase things we are fascinated about.
We are fascinated by things that have the potential to give us either pain or pleasure. The things that grab his attention are the things that have the potential to make a big impact on his pain or pleasure.
Remember, his mind is always generating an automatic model for what the future will look like.
The part of his mind that engages in that constant forecasting process is highly tuned-into anything that threatens of possible pain or tantalizes with the promise of potential pleasure.That’s fascination in a nutshell.
We are fascinated by things that can make us feel good and things that can make us feel bad. Fascination is the most powerful tool you have to grab his interest and attention.
What fascinates people and what triggers the instinct of chase in men and women.
I’m going over this again because it’s that important. I can’t leave it to chance to ensure that you understand how much power this one variable has over your love life. So we’re going to look at just a few examples of the things that fascinate us.
Imagine you’re sitting in the audience, watching your favorite TV personality perform on stage. You have a front row seat and it’s an experience of a lifetime.
You hear some rustling behind you and some gasps, expletives, and expressions of surprise and horror. Glancing to the side you notice everyone is staring at the floor just to the left of your feet.Then you see it.
The enormous, thick body of an anaconda snake slithering right past your feet.In a state of sudden shock you leap up to stand on your chair, eyes fixed on your reptilian enemy. Who has your attention now? That’s right, the snake.
You generally do not find snakes fascinating, but in this instance your brain instantly and automatically upgrades your level of fascination with this particular snake.
Because the part of your brain that is always simulating the future tells you this snake is more important than anything else in your immediate environment.
It has the potential to end your future or seriously injure you. That’s a negative form of fascination,something that grabs your attention because of the way it interacts with your basic drive for safety.
Now let’s look at a positive example, something that fascinates because of the promise of potential pleasure. You grab the stack of mail from your mailbox and glance at it briefly in your hand as you start walking.
But something catches your eye. It’s the upper left corner of one envelope sticking out behind some of the others. You notice the address and handwriting of your best friend.
Suddenly, this particular envelop has your attention.You ignore the rest of the mail in your hand. Your mind does some automatic, almost instantaneous calculations that tell you this is going to be an “out of the blue”friendly gesture from your friend.
That one piece of mail fascinates you while you ignore the rest. You continue opening the envelope even though you stumble a bit as you walk. The things that get our attention arethe things that have the potential to bring either pleasure or pain.
Let’s look at a third example, this time with the possibility of delivering either pain or pleasure. There’s a guy you’ve had your eye on at work. You glance out the window andsee him walking toward your office building in the parking lot.
He’s walking at a slow pace, conversing with a woman you don’t recognize. Suddenly, she’s fascinating. You step closer to the window, trying to get a better look at her face.
Why does she fascinate you?
She fascinates you because she obviously has the attention of the guy you’re interested in and it's obvious that the guy is chasing her. There’s a possibility she is not competition.
With a closer look you might realize she’s a sales representative from a partner company rather than a new girlfriend or competition from another woman at work.
Either way, the nature of his relationship with her is relevant. And so it is something that matters to you. Here’s the point.
Fascination and chase determines the focus of our attention at any given moment in time. Let’s review our equation again to see how fascination and chase pairs up with Activated Drive.
Purpose + Efficacy = Activated Drive +Fascination = Lasting Love. The reason something fascinates us is it activates one of our chase drives.
This drive can be physical, emotional, interpersonal, or some combination of those. But all drives have to do with avoiding pain and pursuing pleasure.The question is, What drives the man you love and what exactly men want?
What drives will trigger the chase and fascination of your love interest? You know fascination is important. It determines what gets his attention. You know that his basic drives, needs,and instincts determine what is fascinating to him.
Now we just need one more piece of this equation to see how it all fits together. It’s time to talk about the two things that activate a man’s chase instincts and fascination more than anything else.
We’re talking about purpose and efficacy, the two elements you see at the very front of the equation we have been working our way through. Purpose is what gives something meaning. Efficacy means effectiveness or the power to make things happen.
Together ,this is a dynamic combination. Let me show you why. Why Men Say, “I’m just not ready”The most common reason a man gives a woman for not committing to the relationship or losing interest or saying “I’m just not ready.”
Let’s take a look at what he means by that. When a man says he’s not ready, it’s because his instincts have hard wired him to go another direction. He’s going in the direction of achieving significance through accomplishments.
He’s going after accomplishments that will make him feel like a man. What these accomplishments look like change over the span of a man’s development.
Allison Armstrong (a gifted marriage seminar leader) uses a metaphor to help women understand the developmental phases men go through. Her metaphor is that of a knight, a prince, and a king.
Dr. Louann Brizendine, the founder of the first clinic in the U.S. to study gender differences in brain, behavior, and hormones, has noted many DNA-driven hormone changes in men across their lifespan.
Both psychological and hormonal factors influence the path a man takes from the Knight phase to the Prince phase, and finally to the King phase of the male experience.
As boys begin the process of maturing into men during adolescence, they enter the Knight phase. This phase of a man’s life lasts well into his mid to-late 20 s. It is a phase of life when his instincts drive him toward adventure.
Very often, that adventure includes the chase of fun. A man in the Knight phase is very fun to date, but he is not ready to settle down with a serious commitment.
That’s because a knight’s primary motivation is freedom so that he can pursue all kinds of new life experiences and adventures.
During the Knight phase, a man will chase you and pursue you with passion, show you a good time, and be highly energetic.
But he won’t have the slightest clue why you or anyone else would want to give up the party and adventure he feels compelled to seek.
Freedom to explore is his number one motivation. When he enters the Prince phase, his primary motivation shifts with the sudden realization that he has not yet built anything of significance in this life.
It’s as if the spell is broken and he realizes he does not want to be a party animal forever. His focus suddenly becomes about making his mark in this world so that he can one day bask in the glory of what he has achieved.
His primary motivation becomes building something that proves his worth. He realizes he must leave behind free-spirited adventure and do something significant.
At the onset of the Prince phase, he may be in his late 20s or even mid-30s. The speed of maturation and change is different for each man.
I should also point out that at no point in time will he be 100% in just one of the three phases of development. He will always maintain elements of knighthood as he progresses through the other phases.
He will also sometimes show a great concern for meaning and building something of lasting value, while some areas of his life still trigger his adventurous, free-spirited knighthood way of thinking and acting.
When a man in the Prince stage says he is “not ready” to commit to a relationship and that's the reason he give up the chase and in the process leave the perfect women of his life.
And here’s what he is really saying. “I don’t feel like I have accomplished anything in life yet.
I’m going to have to work very hard and do some incredible stretching to achieve the kind of manhood, meaning, and accomplishment I desire.
I don’t know that I will have enough time and attention to make you happy while I am on that mission pursuing that goal.
So I’m not sure that I’m really ready to promise to be there for you and to provide for you in the ways I feel driven to provide as a man.
”One thing you have to understand about men is that even from the time they are just little boys, they will not participate in anything they do not believe they can “win” at.
This is not something many women understand, even women who have mothered little boys for many years. And I encourage you not to try to understand it, but rather just to accept it as a fact about how men are wired.
Watch the men in your life and you will begin to realize how powerful and profound this truth is. Men will do anything they can to escape from at ask, requirement, or expectation where they do not feel they can “win.
”And that includes “winning” at the role of boyfriend, husband, father, or any other relationship status you might ask him to commit to.
If he doesn’t think he will measure up to what you want, he will say he is not ready. It’s for this reason that men are much more highly motivated by small rewards that show them they are winning.
To be honest there's no end to my writing. I can go on on. so I will stop here and I want you to understand the basics here "how to make a man chase you" by fascinating him with purpose, efficacy and fantasy.
Before I stop I would love to recommend you something that will help you make any man chase you for life long romance.
It's called the "The Language of Desire" created by Felicity Keith the author of the best selling course for female dating and relationship.
If you're interest you can WATCH THE FREE VIDEO HERE.
Bye for now, please share this article and keep coming back on my blog.
Hi, I'm Manish A passionate blogger from India. I'm on a mission to help you discover your lost happiness and inner peace again by truly connecting with your soul. Believe me you deserve to be truly happy and prosperous in this one and only life.