Want to learn exactly how to text a guy? In other words, the best text recipe full of juice and spice then you've come at the right place.
Before I jump into the nitty-gritty of this guide on how to text a guy and give you the three magical texts (as well as handfuls of phrases and one-liners) you’ll need to win a man over through text, it’s extremely important to understand why texting is such an amazing tool for doing so.
After all, if you don’t know the foundations texting a guy you just met or even if you are already in a long-term relationship then you’re not going to be able to nail the results.
Starting from the top, the most important tip to keep in mind is to take time to really think about what you want to say in text.
One of the biggest mistakes women make when it comes to texting guys is that they let their excitement fog their judgement, and instead of considering what kind of message will be most effective for winning him over, they blast off the same kind of message that they would send to a girlfriend.
Oftentimes these text messages are overloaded with exclamation marks, LOL's, and emoticons.
While these work for chatting with your lady friends, if you send the man you’re into a message like this you’re risking the possibility that your enthusiasm will scare him away; after all, that puts a lot of pressure on him to respond in a similar manner, and makes it very obvious that you’re super into him. Instead, play it cool.
There’s a fine balance between going with your gut and overthinking what to text him.
If you focus too much on crafting the “perfect text message,” then it’s not going to come across as authentic.
Just as he doesn’t want to be blown away with your rambling texts, he also doesn’t want to receive a message that appears to be created by an automated answering system.
This means you’re going to want to give your texts some emotion and personality. The easiest way to do this is by being fascinating!
Think for a moment about the kind of texts that stir up emotion when you read them.
I guarantee you they’re not the cringey one- or-two-worders like “Hey” or “What’s up?” . . . those text messages are boring and don’t serve anyone well for getting a response.
Instead you’re going to want to send him something that makes him think, laugh, smile, and relish the fact that of all the people you could be texting, you’re choosing to message him.
You’ll also want to keep your messages short and sweet.
Since most of us lead busy lives, if you’re setting up a texting conversation in a manner where he feels like it’s going to take up a big chunk of his time to reply, then he may choose not to respond at all, at least until much later in the day, say, when his work day is finished.
This sounds rude, but we’ve all been guilty of ignoring lengthy or rambling text messages at some point or another.
So, how can you be both fascinating and brief? Let me give you an example of how to text a guy and fascinate him.
For example, instead of sending him a dull,
“How was your day?”
or a dry response when he asks what you’re up to
(“Oh, just doing laundry and watching Sex and the City reruns”),
use vivid language that will paint him a picture.
Replying with a quick “Nothing” or dull “Watching TV” isn’t going to make him want to keep a texting conversation going.
Instead, be specific—and if need be, even fib a little bit!
For instance, you could tell him you’re working on a new project or hanging out with friends, or you could choose to intrigue him with an interesting question.
With these basic starting points in mind, I’m going to share with you five rules that will be your absolute best friends when it comes to texting men.
5 Powerful Rules Of Texting a Guy.
Before we proceed please note that there’s not a single scenario where you should not be using these, so make sure you lock down these firecrackers to drive your man crazy.
To keep it easy, I’ve created the acronym “R.U.L.E.S on how to text a guy and make him want to date you.
Think, Type, Review & Make Changes If Required Before Sending The Text Message.
“I should just do it,” Jennifer tells herself while pulling her new smartphone out of her small leather purse. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Skimming through each phone app for the one that reads “Messages,” she unfolds the bar napkin that has Josh’s number sloppily scribbled on it, and enters it into her phone. Then she thoughtlessly starts typing away.
Hi I was just thinking bout u and thought I should send a message. What are you up to?
Realizing he doesn’t yet have her number, she follows with a quick.
It’s the girl from the bar last night.
See the problems here?
Before you hit send on your phone it’s important that you read the text you’re planning to send.
While doing so, check it for three things: clarity, spelling, and tone.
This may sound like obvious advice, but you’d be surprised how easy it is to overlook even the most glaring errors.
Take, for example, the following texts:
I want to grab some food after work. What are you doing tonight?
Error: Clarity. The person on the receiving end of this message doesn’t know if they’re being invited to join for food, or if the sender is asking if they would like to meet after the fact. Make sure the message you’re sending is clear to avoid miscommunication.
I think your really sweet.
Error: Spelling. Poor spelling (even when it’s accidental) can be a huge turn-off for many men. Proofread your text messages!
And be sure to look out for homophones. Your (to have possession) and you’re (you are) mean two very different things. In really unfortunate situations misspellings can radically alter the meaning of the message. Beware of autocorrect, too!
Where are you?
Error: Tone. This text could easily be interpreted as aggressive, even though if it’s meant pleasantly. Be sure to choose your words wisely to clearly convey the tone you mean to be expressing whenever you're texting a guy you just met or already dating.
To avoid making these texting mistakes it’s important that you read your message at least three times before hitting send—better yet, read them aloud.
Not only will it avoid making you look absent-minded or unintelligent, but it’ll also prevent you from needing to follow up your text with an embarrassing corrected version or explanation.
Sure, it’s not the end of the world to have to do so, but it does take away from the original message and too many texts in a row can be detrimental to your chances of wooing him.
While reviewing your text, also make note of your grammar.
Are you using proper English, or have you shortened the message to what is known as “chat speak,” the kind of slang people use on the Internet to communicate quicker, with words like “l8r” “plz” and “g2g”?
Again, using these shortcuts may not seem like a big deal, but if you have to explain yourself then you’re only complicating the situation. And again, not everyone finds this kind of language attractive.
The other problem with texting your love interest in “chat speak” is that it gives the impression that he’s not worth those extra few moments of your time to write out the full word.
In fact, online dating service Zoosk conducted a study of 9,000 people to find out their biggest dating turn-offs. Of the men asked, 40% said that poor grammar is a deal breaker for them.
So make sure you pay extra attention to this before sending your texts.
Use Visual Language To Text Flirt a Guy.
How is your day going? I’ve been thinking about you.
How is your day going? I’ve been listening to the Pixies all morning and smiling about last night.
How is your day going? I’ve been prancing around to the Pixies all morning and can’t shake the smile on my face from thinking about you and last night.
Please remember, men and women are quite different from one another in terms of how they communicate, whether in person or via text.
The same holds true for the types of texts they best respond to.
While ladies like receiving texts that evoke feelings, men on the other hand are visual creatures and respond strongest to messages that allow them to easily envision what they are reading, and that have a more physical subject matter.
For example, say a man sends his partner a text that reads:
I’m so lucky to have you. You’re such an amazing woman xo
She’ll likely be swooning over those words immediately.
While I’m not suggesting that a man wouldn’t be happy to receive this same message, it won’t have the same impact as one that contains a “visual,” for instance:
I love the feeling I get when you slowly run your fingertips down my spine. You really know how to turn me on.
Of course, visual text messages don’t always have to be sexual to text flirt a guy.
Regardless of what you’re texting him, though, take the time to add those descriptive details; they make all the difference.
Send Him Texts That Leave Him Wanting More.
This one is pretty self-explanatory and, simply put, it just means don’t overdo it.
If you blow up your man’s phone with pointless messages, or share too much too soon, then you won’t be giving him a reason to look forward to hearing from you.
Conversely, if you send him only well thought out, cleverly crafted messages, you’re going to keep him hanging off your every word . . . or text.
This doesn’t mean that you should just vanish mid conversation.
Pick and choose how much information you share with him over text, and know when to end a text discussion without coming across as rude or uncaring.
For example, telling him that you had a great night out with the girls will have him wondering what you and your posse got up to.
Did you meet up with other guys? Did it get rowdy? Who hooked up with whom?
Sparing these details will not only make him dig for answers, but he’ll also be that much more covetous of you knowing that your life goes on when he’s not around—and that however well behaved you were that night, you were most likely desired by other guys.
Send Him Texts That Excites Him.
As I briefly mentioned, there are few bigger texting sins than the one- or two-word message (“Hi” and “What’s up?” are major offenders).
Not only do these messages lack originality, but they sound lazy and give him the impression that you’re bored and only texting for your own selfish, lazy entertainment.
What’s even worse is that these texts do nothing to spark emotion or encourage a response. Actually, they’re plain irritating.
When texting the man you’re interested in you will need to send him more than a lame one-worder if you want to catch and keep his attention.
This means that right from the first message you should be creative with your words.
This sounds challenging, especially when you’re on the spot and frantically trying to come up with a response, but it doesn’t have to be.
By using fun, upbeat language, you’ll be the breath of fresh air he’s looking for.
Text Flirt With a Guy To Make Him Feel Positive.
Negative thoughts are where new relationships go to die, so if you’re looking for love then sending the guy you’re trying to woo negative or depressing texts is the last thing you’ll want to do
This means that no matter how down you are, you shouldn’t message him about the debt you’re in, how your mother is pressuring you to settle down, or that your boss is driving you crazy.
Even if all of those facts are true, focus on the positives and discuss cheerful, light-hearted topics over text.
While there’s a time and place for opening up and letting your guy in on those vulnerable thoughts and feelings, texting isn’t it. It can be tough, but avoid letting your emotions cloud your written words.
Remember: no man on this planet looks forward to receiving a barrage of negative text messages, especially when they’re coming from a woman he’s considering committing to.
If you’re feeling especially sad, let him know that you’re having a hard day and that you’ll be in touch tomorrow.
Maybe he’ll ask to come by for a hug or to talk—if so, you’ve put yourself in a position where he’s choosing to have an intimate discussion with you and grow closer to you, rather than just texting platitudes on a sensitive issue.
If it’s not serious, make him smile when he sees your name pop up on his phone screen because he knows that whatever you’re sending his way will be the highlight of his day.
If you’re worrying about how daunting this challenge sounds, don’t. Just watch this special video presentation here and see how it will transform your texting game.