Though most people think of Tinder as a “hook up app,” it has changed significantly in recent years and is now a fairly sophisticated social media service in its own right and if you're a woman wanting to learn how to find a boyfriend on tinder then you are at the right place.
In the past, online dating sites (and their dinosaur ancestors, dating services) connected potential mates by using sophisticated algorithms to look for “compatibility” based on mutual interests or other answers to questions in their personal profiles. Yawn – it’s boring even writing about it.
But the Tinder dating app has changed everything by basing connections on photos – you swipe one way to say you like somebody and the other way to say you don’t.
It’s an instant, instinctive decision based on their picture and you can go through hundreds of potential profiles in a day.
Only if you “swipe right” on someone’s photo and he also “swipes right” on yours will you be put in potential contact.
Used carefully and correctly, Tinder can be a powerful tool to help you meet quality men.
However, because of its origins as a “hook up app,” you need to change your dating strategy to use Tinder most effectively.
So if you are ready let me show you step-by-step how to find a boyfriend on tinder.
Part 1 - Your Tinder Profile Photo Is Everything.
Since Tinder is built around photos, the most important thing for you to do when you decide to use the service is to pick a great Tinder profile photo.
Just as real estate is all about location, location, location, Tinder is about photos, photos, photos. Here are some tips on the photos that men like most:
Tinder Profile Photo in Which You Are Smiling.
This is the most important tip of all if you want to find a boyfriend on tinder. Use a Tinder profile photo where you are smiling.
Since a smile is friendly, welcoming, and happy it will make you more attractive.
For millions of years, back into our prehistory, humans have been smiling to say hello to each other.
If you meet someone from a foreign country who doesn’t speak your language, you smile to let them know you are friendly.
A man going through Tinder profile photos on his phone during an idle moment on the subway or at work is going to look at each one for a second, perhaps for even a shorter time.
If you aren’t smiling, he’s probably just going to skip right by you – “swipe left.”
Try to make it a natural smile, rather than a forced one. If you don’t have any good pictures of yourself, get one of your friends to take some.
Have them tell you a joke and get you to laugh, or think of something funny while they are photographing you.
Don’t use photos where you are scowling or frowning or looking too serious. You don’t want him to think, “She’s a bitch” in that one second he’s looking at you.
A cold, haughty stare might work very well as reverse psychology in a bar or restaurant to make a man more interested in “conquering” you and getting your number, but not in one second on his phone when you are one picture among dozens of others.
For the same reasons, don’t try a sexy pout. It is more likely to backfire. Smile, smile, smile. Other than that, don’t overthink it.
You can read a lot of advice online about whether to smile showing your teeth or not – some people swear men prefer to see women’s teeth, others say the opposite.
Don’t exhaust yourself trying to figure it out. Instead just get a good picture of yourself with a friendly, cute smile and you’ve done 90 percent of the work of getting a man hooked.
Use a Black And White Profile Picture On Tinder To Attract a Guy.
Oddly enough, research has shown that black and white photos work surprisingly well on dating sites.
You can use a simple filter on your phone to process a color picture and make it black and white, or get someone who knows what they’re doing to fix it up for you.
Black and white photos are still fairly rare as profile pictures, so that’s another way you can stand out from the crowd.
By the way, don’t go crazy with those filters and special photo processing effects – keep your photo simple and straightforward, and by all means, don’t airbrush away your wrinkles. Be yourself and you'll attract a quality guy on Tinder dating app.
Tinder Profile Pic With Eye Contact
The best Tinder profile pic is a simple one where you are smiling and looking straight at the camera.
After all, you’re looking at the man who is swiping through pictures on his phone.
However, you may choose to switch up some shots, and include those where you’re looking away from the camera too, as this increases the odds someone will like them.
That said, it doesn’t really matter too much whether you look at the camera or look away.
As I said above, don’t over think it. Smiling and looking friendly and happy is by far the most important thing.
Tinder Photo With Body Shots.
On a traditional dating site it’s usually recommended that you use at least one full body shot – men like to see all of you.
When choosing photos for Tinder account I would suggest you use at least one full body shot in your profile or on a linked Facebook or Instagram page (though it doesn’t need to be your main photo).
For your Tinder profile pic a head and shoulders shot of you smiling is the best – remember he’s looking at you for one second on his phone, so if you are trying to show your whole figure your face is going to be pretty small.
Chances are he’s not going to take time to stop and zoom in.
Be The Only Person In Your Tinder Profile Photo.
This may seem like a no brainer, but you’d be surprised how many women use a photo of them with their friends, or their dog, or whatever as their Tinder profile picture. Not only is this a bit lazy, it’s also counterproductive.
Keep in mind that the guy viewing your profile is looking to date you, not your friends, family, or dog, so show him a picture of you, just you.
Look Sexy And Not Slutty in Your Tinder Dating Profile.
If you’re just looking for sex then I’d give you different advice, but since you’re looking for a relationship with a quality guy then use a photo of yourself that is sexy, without being slutty.
Remember that 90 percent of being sexy and attractive is your smile, and you’ve already taken care of that. Don’t try to attract more men by showing a lot of skin in your photos, instead keep it classy.
Say ‘Goodbye’ To The Shades
Although big Sophia Loren sunglasses look mysterious and sexy when you’re sipping cappuccino in a café, they don’t work too well in a dating site photo.
They hide your eyes and a significant part of your face. You aren’t sitting in a café sipping cappuccino where the man can watch you for several minutes, see you flip your hair, hear you laugh.
He’s looking at your photo for a second or less on his phone and deciding which way to swipe. Ditch the sunglasses and let him see your eyes.
Part 2 - How to Create The Perfect Tinder Bio For Girls.
A good photo of you smiling is the most important thing to include in your Tinder profile, but there is a bit more information you need to consider when getting ready to look for love online.
Seeing as Tinder is based on an instantaneous sense of attraction, any potential dates you encounter through the service won’t be spending lots of time pondering your profile in great detail, at least not at first.
This is why the data or the bio you include is important, so pay attention to it, please. Here are a few guidelines to write the perfect tinder bio for girls.
Don't Get Too Excited On a Dating App Be Yourself.
Sometimes it is easy to forget that romance should be about honesty, and instead we get caught up on the idea of “winning.”
Even our language talks about “catching” a man, which itself seems to acknowledge, with a wink and a nudge, that a little bit of deception is part of the “game.”
So instead of being yourself you may shave a few pounds (or twenty) off your weight, you reduce your age by a year or two, and you squeeze into a pushup bra or add some extra padding.
The ends justify the means, right? After all, the goal is to get his attracted physically – once he pays attention to you then you can start working on getting him to like the “real” you.
Yet isn’t that just what I was just saying about Tinder and how it’s based on split-second decisions about how attractive you are?
Shouldn’t you do everything you can to catch his attention in that split second he sees you on the screen? Yes and no.
See there’s a difference between finding an attractive, smiling photo of yourself, one that shows your most beautiful side, and lying about your age or your weight or whatever.
Lying may seem like it might help you in the short run, but deception will likely come back to haunt you later.
If you do end up finding a boyfriend on tinder and making a genuine connection with him, that miracle can be undone, or weakened, when he realizes you lied to him at the start.
He may well wonder what else you might lie about during any relationship he has with you.
This especially applies to the Tinder description of yourself on your profile, so keep it short and truthful.
If you’re an intellectual and looking for that type of guy, then put in something about your education or the books you read.
If you like street food from taco trucks and are looking for a similar, down-to-earth type of man, then emphasize that.
Putting in your job title is fine, since one of the main ways we identify and categorize people is by the work they do.
If you’re single, great. Don’t lie if you are married, but separated or divorced, or if you have kids.
Be candid about who you are and your situation, and at the same time, don’t feel obliged to put any personal information you’re not comfortable sharing with a stranger.
As I’ve emphasized, the bio in your Tinder profile is secondary, even supernumerary, to the photo, which is everything.
Protect Your Tinder Data (And Yourself)
Just as in using any online site or social media, be judicious about what information you put into your profile.
Not only do social media companies collect and mine and sell that data, but they sometimes fail to protect it from data breaches or hackers.
This means you shouldn’t disclose anything online that you aren’t absolutely comfortable having become public knowledge.
If you don’t feel comfortable revealing certain information about yourself and your life on your Tinder profile, don’t.
You can either add a serious, straightforward tinder bio of yourself to your profile, or you can choose a pithy, witty, fun message to appear under your name and age.
Let this message reflect your personality – it’s not easy to give strangers a sense of yourself or to communicate humor via a brief glimpse on a smartphone screen, so don’t agonize too much about what to say. Remember that your emphasis is on the photos you pick
Also, be aware that, although you and some other people are using Tinder to look for a more serious, quality relationship, some people still see it as a “hook up” service.
If you aren’t looking to “hook up,” then be cautious about the men you connect with.
Don’t send messages to guys who are just looking for casual connections or free sex.
Don’t think you can meet them and change their attitude. Stay focused on finding a boyfriend who is looking for a girlfriend and a long-term relationship.
This will probably require a bit more work from you – instead of just swiping right on a whole bunch of cute guys, you’ll have to take a moment to consider a bit more about them.
Although Tinder itself gives you advice to “when in doubt, Swipe Right,” saying that quantity is better than quality, be careful.
This is where the sheer volume of people on Tinder can work against you – yes, you might get more queries from guys if you swipe right on a whole bunch of them, but you’ll also have to sift through them afterward to eliminate the duds and those just looking for a quickie.
If you end up having to fend off too many men just looking for sex, it can be discouraging and could even change your attitude about men, which will damage your quest for a more serious relationship.
Part 3 - What Are ‘Tinder ELO Scores’?
You may have heard something about an “Tinder ELO score” that Tinder generates for you once you start looking at and swiping photos.
How will this affect you? When you first sign up for Tinder, you don’t yet have an ELO score, which is a complicated mathematical ranking based on how many people like you and how many people you like like you back.
The formula comes from the world of competitive chess, where it was first used to rank players on how many people they beat and who beat them in matches.
It’s also used in many other sports to rank players against each other.
Since you don’t start with a score, your tinder profile picture will be shown to a wide range of men for a few days, and you are likely to get an early burst of activity.
That tends to taper off after a few days, once the Tinder software has begun assigning you an ELO score that narrows down the group your photo is shown to and also changes how many pictures are sent to you.
Don’t be discouraged if the number of photos you see decreases after a few days, it just means the system is getting to know you and your choices.
You can expend a lot of energy and drive yourself insane by trying to figure out how to game the system and improve your ELO score, and there’s a lot of advice out there about how you might do this.
However, beware of going down that rabbit hole, by using an ELO score Tinder is trying to match you with people who are approximately as attractive as you are, although attractiveness is not a mathematical thing that can be easily defined.
So you’ll see advice to “not swipe right” on men who are “out of your league,” as this could decrease your ELO score, but you shouldn’t worry so much about this – as I said, you can lose a lot of sleep stressing about something that’s really out of your control.
The easiest way to keep your Tinder ELO score as high as possible is to change your profile photo every so often and to be a bit picky in your swiping.
Don’t swipe right on every single guy – aim for a moderate percentage, say half.
Once You Have Found Your Potential Boyfriend On Tinder.
At some point, a few of the men you’ve swiped right on will swipe right on your picture, too, and the spark of contact will happen.
Remember though, that contact isn’t the end goal you’re seeking and once you’ve connected with a guy via Tinder you need to be attentive to the next steps you take if you’re going to keep him interested and find out whether you like him.
Here are some important thoughts about this next stage:
Tinder Conversation Starters To Keep Him Connected.
Given the way the app functions, it can be easy to forget your objective when using Tinder.
After all, viewing lots of pictures and swiping left or right can become like plunking coin after coin after coin into a Las Vegas slot machine and pushing the button that spins the reels (pulling the lever takes too much effort, if the machine even has a lever anymore).
When you open the app on a new day, you need to review and remember what you did yesterday and the day before.
Whom did you interact with? Did anyone send you a message? If so, you should make sure to reply to it and keep the conversation going.
He may be looking at a whole new set of women’s photographs right now when you want him to be remembering the connection he made with you yesterday.
The irony here is that although Tinder may be a fantastic tool for you to meet a new guy, as soon as you get into contact with him the best thing for you is if he stops using Tinder right away!
Of course, that’s a pretty unrealistic outcome, so you want to make sure you maximize the impression you made on him and keep your connection going.
Don’t give him too much time to start looking through hundreds of your competitors’ photographs.
Your first contact with a man via Tinder is, appropriately enough, like trying to start a fire using tinder.
Once you get a little spark, you have to blow on it and protect it from smoldering out.
You need to add more tinder – bits of flammable fluff or shredded paper or tiny twigs that will burn easily – until the fire actually catches and you see flames.
If you exchange messages with a guy and then forget to contact him again the next day, well, at the speed people move through profiles on Tinder, you run the risk of losing him, or rather of him losing track of you in the deluge of new photos he’s just started looking at.
Don’t let that happen! Take immediate action.
Using the information you have on him from his Tinder profile and from anything linked to it, such as his Facebook or Instagram account, a Spotify playlist, or other social media data, find something the two of you share in common and send him a text message related to that subject at once. Don’t delay.
This runs counter to advice I’ve given regarding other dating services, where being too pushy can be off putting and drive a man away.
On Facebook, with texting, or when communicating in person, you can enjoy the luxury of sitting back and playing hard to get, which is a great way to increase a man’s interest; not on Tinder though!
By its very nature, Tinder makes taking your time and playing coy nearly impossible.
Try playing wait and-see games and you’ll be long forgotten. So once you’ve made contact with a guy you are interested in, keep that contact burning.
If you two have a music connection, send him a message about music. Ask him what he listens to at work, or while he’s working out.
Even if he doesn’t work out much, you have started a conversation – he may reply, with a laugh, that he needs to work out more often but can’t always find the time, to which you can reply with the playlist that really gets you going during a workout.
Suggest that he try it to make exercise more fun and exciting. Maybe he will, and when he does work out, he’ll be thinking of you as all those happy endorphins are triggered in his brain by exercise.
If you have a connection through friends, or friends of friends, use that as a way to spark a further conversation.
Ask him to tell you some stories about someone you know in common, or tell him a funny story about the friend you two are connected through.
A conversation about his work is also likely to be fruitful.
Men often define themselves through their jobs – the three things they talk about most are work, women and sports, not necessarily in that order – so his career is one of the “big three” topics you can use to deepen your connection to him.
Ask him about how he ended up in the job he has. Did he always have that career in mind, or did he sort of fall into it through serendipity? Whichever one of those is true, there will be a good story there.
Ask about his office, what his coworkers and boss are like, and maybe tell him a few stories about your work. How does he get to work?
Does he have a long commute? Does he drive or take the bus or subway? Maybe he rides a bike. What does he do when it rains or snows?
You might think sports, as another of the “big three” topics, is a good way to initiate conversation with him, but unless you are pretty well versed in whatever sport he likes, and unless you know something about his team or a rival team in the same sport, talking about it is risky because you aren’t likely to be able to sustain a conversation in this area.
One other advantage of these types of follow up conversations is that they will quickly give you a sense of him.
Maybe he’s good looking and is a fine match for you based on Tinder’s analysis of his social graph, but it’s still possible that he’s a dud, and you’ll want to get an idea about his personality as soon as you can.
If he’s dull or doesn’t get back to you, forget him – Tinder can work to your advantage by helping you forget him quickly, too.
If You Think He Can Be a Potential Boyfriend Meet Him in Person.
Again, given the nature of Tinder, you don’t want to use the typical dating playbook.
You need to move a bit more quickly. After all, now that you connected with him using Tinder, Tinder has become your worst enemy – it’s the thing most likely to distract him and draw him away from you.
This means that you’ll want to meet this guy in person as soon as you can. Of course, you can “meet” him via other types of social media, too, and that can deepen the connection you have with him.
Become friends on Facebook as soon as possible, and get his email address and phone number so you can text him directly.
Once you’ve connected via Facebook, email, or text message, start using the rules for connecting with a man via these texting system.
If you really want make a man go crazy I request you to make the wise choice of registering in our Text Chemistry program, and learn the type of texts you can send your love interest to win him over, which means you won’t be relying solely on Tinder to communicate with him.
Still, it’s important to meet in person, and soon. No online photograph, social graph, or dating algorithm can tell you whether the two of you will have personal chemistry.
There’s only one way to find that out, and that’s by meeting in person. This can be a bit of a scary step, but don’t put it off.
If you like what you’ve seen so far, and if you’ve made a decent connection via social media, ask him to meet up and do something informal together.
Since you’re going to want to keep it simple, easy, and as stress-free as possible, don’t put too much pressure on yourselves at this time with a dinner date or movie.
Instead, opt for getting a coffee together so that you can end the date at any time should it not go well.
After all, it’s a much harder to get up from dinner at a restaurant than it is to casually leave a cafe!
Once you’ve met him in person, Tinder has done its job and the rest is up to you. Wishing you the best of luck!
If you truly enjoyed reading this step-by-step guide on how to find a boyfriend on tinder then you'll also love watching this video presentation here that shows you exactly how to drive a man crazy in love with you.