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Let’s discuss the tantric sex techniques in this detailed 5878-word long guide.
Now physical touch ranges from the innocent to the playful to the commanding touch and sends a strong message to her and to her body that not only do you know what you're doing sexually, which in itself is a turn on, but that you also know how to give her pleasure.
This is key. These are touches that literally speak to her body.
These are the kinds of touches that, even by the most gentle way of touching, speak volumes about how you know what you're doing.
Now this is really easy to get because most men, 95% of the men in the world, are doing it incorrectly.
In other words, they're doing it in ways that are just making it harder for themselves.
But once you know, and she will understand that you know, how to touch her, how to move her, how to communicate to her, your touch communicates volumes about your experience.
So let's start with a principle that I call the slow, light touch rule. You start here to trigger arousal for woman, and it's simply by touching a woman in a slow light manner.
This lets her know that you're not grabby. This lets her know that you are in control of yourself and your body and your cock.
It's just so easy to start this way. Just slow it down; you need a slow and light touch.
This slow and light touch works, even a contrasted touch – let's say you use a strong pressure, a firm grip, and then you go to really soft.
That's the contrast technique that we spoke about earlier, but that kind of touch begins this physical dialogue with her body so that you're beginning to speak to her body in the language of pleasure.
Pleasure is awesome. You start to touch her in a way that you are communicating, "I know what I'm doing."
So you go from a light touch to a firmer touch to a super light and soft touch. Sometimes I'll just use the soft, light, and slow touch rule and that's enough.
That will trigger everything I need it to do, and it is the simplest technique in the world because it's so powerful and it's so simple; you just touch lightly.
If you take your fingertip across her skin and you just trace lightly on her arm so you barely feel your fingertip on the surface of her skin, touching her hair and her skin in the lightest way, you’ll get the hang of it.
There are so many receptors on her skin that it's enough to move her into a very deep, powerful sexual trance, like a just complete relaxation and very, very intense feelings.
It lets her know that you are in control of the experience because if you weren't in control you would not be able to do that specific thing.
So light touch means you can control your body and light touch means that you know how to stimulate and play her body like an instrument and make her sexually addicted to you.
There are hundreds and hundreds of examples of arousal triggers and Tantric sex triggers, and I'll offer you my six favorite.
The super soft touching of a woman's inner wrists, forearms, and elbow creases. I love these.
Use the soft touch we were talking about before, the lightest, lightest, feather touch ever.
In fact, as a metaphor, if you imagined your hand as a feather and you're touching her as if you were a feather, that super, super soft touching of her inner wrists, her forearms, and her elbow creases, places that are not touched often, these are the places that cause a tremendous amount of pleasure and excitement in her body.
If you touch a woman's waist just above the panty line or her pant line, that is a great place again.
Super soft touch – I might just do it with one finger or two fingers, just soft and light. So I'm tracing my finger just beneath her belt.
In other words, I have enough confidence to go around her pant line and just trace, but I'm not going more than a half an inch or an inch at the max and just tracing along that line.
Now that's typically where her pant line is or her panty line is or where her belt is, so that's also untouched skin and the areas around the hips are very very sensitive, awesome areas to touch.
So I'll do that. There's a sweet spot right at the lower back, right where all these nerve bundles meet at the back of the spine and so, often times, the jeans will just kind of create a gap there when she's standing up.
There'll be a gap right at the lower back and you can reach your hand under her shirt or if there's a little bit of lift there, you can actually touch her skin and you can get your fingers inched down and just kind of keep them there and do the smallest, lightest, gentle movement.
There are hairs there that get triggered and get incredibly stimulated from the nerve bundles right there at the back of the spine.
Essentially it's the place where our tails used to be and there's a lot of sensation down there. It’s as good as stimulating her clitoris.
Another kind of touch that's a great contrast touch is softly touching the back of the neck, softly touching around the ears, the ear lobes, gently but firmly pulling the hair from the lower back of her neck and pulling it as a handful or a fistful.
In other words, every finger has some hair. It's not like you're tugging a couple of strands. You're taking a palm full of hair and just gently squeezing it and then releasing it.
Those things are just physical touch triggers that will drive her mad.
Contrast – pinning her against something with your body weight as you kiss her or pull the back of her hair, using your body weight, giving her that sense of pressure and yet comfort and safety.
So I'm not like slamming her – of course, those things can be appropriate and awesome as well, but there's also just that sort of “I'm in control, and I also can pin you and sort of capture you here and pull the back of your hair firmly.”
Open up her neck and kiss just on the ridge, the edge of her neck. You get the cover of a romance novel is what you get. That stuff works.
A firm but gentle, full-handed touch in the middle of her back at the heart level works well – something where you're grabbing the center of her back or her lower back, but the center of her back has a different feel because most men don’t touch her there.
They're either grabbing her ass or they might be grabbing at the sway of the back, but right behind the heart, putting your hand there and pulling her towards you, that backside of her spine, pulling it toward you, that is a very very relaxing and confidence inducing touch.
These verbal sexual-arousal triggers are things that we can say that create sexual images and symbols and erotic adventures in her mind..
So if I can start to take control of her mind sexually through stimulating imagery and symbols and adventures in her mind, a woman can literally cum.
I've had it happen, where a woman can cum simply by thinking or imagining or going on a purely erotic adventure in her mind.
This is intense and it's powerful and, honestly, it makes you feel like a sex god when those kinds of things happen.
It makes you into a sexual superhero when you realize that these things are possible and they're exciting.
So how is it possible? The first thing to understand is how powerful it is to use verbal sexual-arousal triggers to access one of her most erotic organs, which is her brain.
The ears are direct doorways to her erotic mind. That's what's so amazing about this. You just go right in, boom, you go into the ears. You whisper few deliciously, dirty words.
You say some things. You stimulate visuals in her mind. This is especially helpful if she is sharing with you some of her fantasies.
So all of this takes trust and communication, but you can just sort of begin to feel it out also, what your fantasies are.
So maybe you might say to her, "Baby, I love that pair of underwear you were wearing the other day. They were so hot.
They were so beautiful." You're just talking to her in her ear in an intimate way, and boom, her thinking about herself in that outfit and how she looked in the mirror and what happened after, before, or during – these all stimulate very, very powerful emotions inside of her.
These are four of my favorite ones and they're very powerful.
Sexual Teasing. Play, tease, just keep it playful. You're in bed, and it's like flirting so that there's a playful energetic vibe.
It's like, hey, I'm playing with how we interact. It's like the opposite of getting in bed and holding your breath and going,
"OK, we're going to have sex." I might say something about, "I really love those panties.
I like the way your hair is falling on you. It looks so cool."
The teasing is playful teasing. Sometimes I'm using that when it's a little bit awkward and so I'll just start to kind of call out the awkwardness, especially when you're with a new lover.
Things can get a little bit confusing, so it's kind of fun to be able to just tease a little bit and even tease yourself.
"Wow, I just touched you in that way. Boy, that was kind of awkward. That was kind of silly" or "Hey, hey, don't be so grabby here.
Slow it down a little bit." You can actually use some of your own tantric sex techniques so she gets a little grabby with you. You can go "Hey, wait, wait, wait, slow it down."
You can be a little bit playful. The essence of sexual teasing is just keeping it light and playful.
Sexual mind reading is where you just assume you know what she's talking about. You just say it as if it's true, and basically it is because you say it.
So you might say, "I know you've been thinking about me all day.
I know right now you're sitting at that TED Talk and you're thinking about my cock deep inside you."
She may have not been thinking about that until you said it. Then she is.
That's the beautiful thing. So the reading is just saying, "I know you're thinking X." It's putting the suggestion and the thought to her.
Again, you could use text. You could use a phone call. You could use messages. She may be there right with you. Suppose you're in the kitchen and you're making dinner.
You might say, "I know you've been thinking about my cock all day long." Well guess what, if she wasn't, she is now.
In fact, you can actually play that character, like once you start to feel some confidence, you can play some of those things like the inexperienced guy and you can be like, "Oh, I don't know.
I've never slept with a woman like you before." All of these things, they play with teasing and framing and pushing and pulling and role-playing, which is what number five is.
I'm going to play the inexperienced guy or I'm going to play the strip club owner.
You can get as kinky and far out with this as you want as long as you guys are talking about and discussing it.
There are so many roles because women have these archetypes inside of them, these sexual archetypes, profound archetypes, and you can play with them once you understand what these sexual archetypes are.
For example, there are so many fantasies and they can get as wild as you can possibly imagine.
And, guess what, she may not admit to it, but she's already gone there because a woman's fantasy world is far beyond what most guys fantasize about.
For us, we're like "I liked her tits" or "I liked her ass" or "She wore this outfit" or "I liked this" but women, no. For women, it is a whole other awesome level.
So once you start to understand what roles turn her on, maybe it's like you're the teacher and she's the naughty school girl or she's the teacher and you're the naughty school boy
.... or it's the doctor's office and she's in there for an exam or you're the bad evil dentist or the airline pilot in the cockpit and she's the flight attendant who comes in to make sure you have everything you need.
I mean, role-playing is endless, endless, endless. You can do it from clothing to just pure auditory oral fantasy.
This again is a role-playing thing, but this is where one or the other of you is the dominant and the other one is the submissive, and if you're playing the sexual dominant, then it's just literally commanding things that you want your sex slave to do.
So role-playing is really sexual framing. You're framing an interaction. You're saying,
"Okay, well, I'm going to be the dominant and because that is my frame, you're going to do everything to fulfill my desires.
"These are powerful, powerful tools and techniques for arousal and sexual arousal triggers, and, once again, if you understand that you're seducing her brain and her emotions, that these are things that turn her on sexually, then all of these things can get her into the right mood.
The sexual-pleasure frame tantric love technique is designed to condition her to pleasure. This is a frame that I really, really like, by the way.
This frame is where you, in essence, are the leader of the interaction and you are just having her focus only on her pleasure.
So that's your role. It's like, "I want you to focus on your pleasure. This time is for you to totally let go and relax and allow your body to experience deep, deep pleasure.
"In the sexual pleasure frame, I really just focus on two or three words. In this case, I would focus on pleasure. I would focus on the word focus and relax and let go.
So you would repeat these simple ideas over and over again. "I just want you to focus on your pleasure. This time is for you. Relax. Let go."
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This kind of tantric sex technique, has a hypnotic feel for her and can really give her permission to completely let go and step into the experience.
These frames, sexual pleasure frames, for me, are very important in helping a woman, conditioning her to her own pleasure and me to my pleasure, because you can do these in both ways.
You can shift the focus. She could focus on you and, let's say, give you a hand job or a cock massage, and as she's massaging your cock, just say "Keep letting go. Feel the pleasure.
“Guess what? That's going to help you condition more to your pleasure as well. So the sexual-pleasure frame is essential in relationships and couples.
You can ask for what you want. "I want you to grab my cock like this. I want you to do this technique."
You can show her exactly what makes you feel good, and she'll love that and even in there you can say to her, "I want you to focus on massaging my cock.
I want you to massage it, and I want you to let go and relax your body into the experience of pleasuring my cock."
So the sexual-pleasure frame is an amazing, amazing, amazing frame and this is kind of my number one frame because so few women are given permission to experience their pleasure openly and honestly and truthfully.
So just that one thing of giving her full permission to experience the full dimension of her pleasure, and whether that pleasure is naughtiness or playfulness or she wants to be a bad girl, whatever she wants, you can use the sexual-pleasure frame to allow her to go deeper and deeper into that.
Then of course, the sexual-pleasure frame, by giving her pleasure, this gives her permission, full permission, to turn off her mind.
This is really about being absolutely straightforward in your pleasure, in your desires. It's about being able to set a frame of sexual safety that lets her know, hey, you are coming to the table.
You have experience. You know how to communicate about this stuff. You know what you're talking about. You're both adults. You're treating her like an adult.
When I use the sexual-safety frame, I'm acknowledging, "You are an adult and you are also responsible for taking care of yourself as much as I am responsible for taking care of myself.
"It sort of says we're adults here, and we're coming to play as adults. So when I have the safer sex conversation,
"This is what I need to feel safe," I'll go through a list of my particular things, and I'll be like, "Well, what about you?"
Apply two of any of the Tantra sex-arousal techniques and triggers we discussed above.
Practice them. Brush up on your skills. Focus on cleaning up any specific area of your life where you're like,
"Oh boy, I tend to be the guy who triggers inexperience." Well guess what? Work on it this week.
Remember once, you start to understand that this beautiful flower called women that she's sharing with you has all of these incredible textures and layers and sensations right there, and the more you know about them, the better all of you are.
And of course, that is the thing that will get her calling you back and saying,
"I am craving you to be in my bed right now. Get over here. Do whatever it takes to get over here now" and that's where you want to be because that is the sexual superhero.
So really what we're looking for is a mindset about how to learn new material, especially new material around sexuality.
So Tantra sex is all about you, you learning to take her places she's never been, and ideally, in the process, learning to take yourself places that you have never been.
That's the real benefit of this article, going places where you have never been inside yourself, new places of pleasure and experience and empowerment, owning your body, owning your masculinity so that you really have everything that you need in all areas of your life.
If you start to understand sexuality and you really start to integrate sexual energy in your body, it's going to change every area of your life.
That's just a fact. That's how it works. So not only is it about you taking her places she's never been, but it's really, if you embrace this course, about taking you places you've never been.
So Tantra love technique is a mindset about sex and women as well as specific actions, energies, techniques, and ideas that will cause the women you're having sex with to crave you because you will take her to places she's never been.
In that process, you will learn things about yourself, you'll learn things about your own pleasure, you will learn things where you just go "Wow,
I didn't even know that was possible" because once you change the mindset, once you change the inner frameworks of your inner consciousness, the frameworks of what you call your identity or your ego, the frameworks of what we call us, once those inner frameworks begin to alter, your entire life alters.
The way women respond to you will alter. The way you feel confidence in yourself will alter. The way you interact with business associates will change.
So there are six types of Tantra sexual techniques and, of course, there are thousands if not millions of different types of sexual techniques, and they generally fall into six different types of touch techniques.
The first touch technique is closed touch.
These are the things that instantly repel women sexually and if you don't know how to avoid these, this will directly affect the results you're getting in bed.
So there are guys who essentially master a game. they master the ability to meet women and get women addicted to sleeping with them, but then they get into bed and all these other things trigger and it goes nowhere.
By way of example, I heard an awful story recently about somebody who understands the psychology of women in terms of meeting and attracting, but then when he finally got this one young woman into bed, things went awry.
As he was telling me this story, he was so happy, like "Yeah, I got her into bed" and he was going on and on and on as if it was some victory.
All I could think about was this poor, young girl who's about 19 years old – that this was one of her first sexual experiences – and how traumatic it was for her and what that does to the rest of us out there.
Because now, every time a woman has an experience with a horrible lover or somebody who humiliates her or shames her or cums in three seconds and doesn't worry about her pleasure.
Every time that happens, it essentially makes it harder for the rest of us to have sex with her, to open her up, to allow her to relax and release, because her trust level goes down.
Then she starts questioning her instincts. She's like, "Wow, I thought this guy would be cool and it turns out he was a total a-hole. I wonder if I can really trust myself."
As she starts to question whether she can trust herself, the whole process slows down and sexual access slows down and sexual pleasure slows down.
Closed touch is really important to understand because there are all kinds of things you are doing right now that are communicating to a woman that she is less than safe with you.
If you don't know what those things are and you don't understand them and you don't start correcting them now, you need to start correcting those immediately.
The second type of touch technique is the sexual arousal technique and its triggers.
These are triggers that naturally get a woman turned on sexually, physically, and mentally.
These are things that you will learn are just natural elements.
If I touch in a certain way or touch in a certain location of touch with a certain quality, it immediately triggers a response in her body.
So you want to be aware that there's not one technique. I don't have one technique, a magic technique, an "Oh, I'll touch her here and she cums right away" technique.
That's like high-school thinking.
There's no one technique because of all of the factors I've already discussed, but there are things you can pay attention to and open up your awareness and your framework to start to understand that sexuality is a mindset and also a skill set.
For example, there was a situation where I was just touching my lover in a certain way, and I noticed on this particular day I was squeezing her.
I was just making a little squeezing motion and all of a sudden her breath changed instantly.
It was just a little something I had never done before, and suddenly it was turning on her entire body, and it happened just like that.
It was stunning, but it wasn't like, "Oh, this is the magic technique that will work on every woman.
"No, it was paying attention to what was happening and being tuned into her and noticing that as soon as I touched her in this way, there was like a [gasp].
"Ahhh," like that kind of sound, and I did it again and there was the same kind of sound. Suddenly you realize, oh okay, this is a touch and sexual arousal trigger for her.
Then everything changes instantly. It's strange.
You're basically triggering her sequence of foreplay, what I call pre-play really, these things that start to get her body moving and turned on and get her breath moving and her blood pumping and getting her tissue, all the erectile tissue in her body beginning to swell.
These are beautiful tantra sex techniques. These are just beautiful and they can be non-sexual.
They can be physical techniques. They can be mental seduction techniques.
There are more advanced techniques which I will share with you in my future articles that build on these, but you really want to start with the beginning.
For example, if you haven't mastered closed touch which means, in other words, if you haven't broken those habits, there's no way you're going to get to the more advanced techniques because you'll be shooting yourself in the foot.
We'll also go over breathing techniques. Women respond to a specific set of sexual cues and you need to know what these are if you want her orgasm.
So one of them is breathing techniques. There are breathing techniques that allow her to get calm.
There are breathing techniques that allow her to relax. There are breathing techniques that allow her to begin to open her arousal and even her orgasm.
There are sound techniques. In sex, silence is death. Once you know what these techniques are, you will be able to master her relaxation.
Sound is essential. Most of us, for whatever reason (well I do know what our reason is – because of sexual shame and guilt and because of lots of really horrible religious programming).
Most of us believe that pleasure is bad or evil or wrong and we believe that pleasure should be done behind closed doors or not at all.
So what this means is that, as men, you've probably learned to self-pleasure or masturbate in such a way where you do it really fast and you get it over with quickly.
Or you orgasm quickly and you do it quietly, and maybe there's a little grunt and, boom, let me get a towel or jump in the shower, and then you clean off and clean up, because that was dirty, and then you're on to your day.
Most males are wired with some version of this. So there's no sound, no voice.
There's one frantic hand movement and ejaculation and it's like, okay, boom, over.
So we really have to step out of the silence factor because the silence factor is really hurting your sex life more than you have any clue.
So that includes music. It includes environmental sounds.
It includes managing the space so that things sound good around you, but it also manages your voice and the quality of speaking and communication that you have available.
Then we have the deep pleasure and flow techniques and there are certain routines and you can utilize them to bring her into total ecstasy and pleasure and it works.
It happens. I use them all the time and these techniques alone will keep her coming back for more because they're so profound and they're beautiful for her.
I really believe when it comes to sex, we really need to leave the campsite better than we found it.
If you're going to enter her and enter her world and experience her and participate with her and share in a sexual experience, you may as well leave her better than how you found her because honestly you're screwing it up for any other men that come after you by screwing this process up and it really is sad.
I think, because you have all these unhappy and sexually frustrated women and you have all these unhappy and sexually frustrated men and men who start hating women.
I hear these things all the time and really, men and women both want the same things. We both want pleasure. We both want sex.
We both want to experience and have experiences, but we have really, again, through cultural myths and stories and our beliefs around pleasure and sex in general, all these really horrible things that we do to women in terms of calling her a slut and whore if she's too sexual and she's only allowed to have five partners.
I forgot, there was some ridiculous study and basically men's ideal for a woman's sexual history is more than three sex partners but less than five, and if she had more than five, then she became undesirable.
This is insanity, this kind of programming. I will deal with this in future more advanced articles down the road, but that mentality, that framework, is truly insane.
So what that does is it creates women feeling like they have a number and most women, if you really press the issue, they know exactly how many lovers they've had unless they've broken this particular framework and there's a number.
They're like, "Oh, if I exceed this number, then I'm a whore. I'm a slut."
So every time you're interacting with a woman sexually, you're interacting with these deep-seated cultural beliefs that basically separate the sexes.
So she has to defend against her sexuality because she has a limited number and if she surpasses that number then she becomes "damaged goods" and for a man, he's constantly trying to increase the number because that increased number proves that he's got sexual prowess and he's worldly or whatever.
"I'm more of a man because I've had sex with more girls."
So these are two very different strategies that come out of religious programming.
So you have these things in conflict, and every time you're interacting, whether it's from seduction to just actually being in bed, you're encountering these conflicts, the inner conflicts for her.
So she's forced to have to decide, especially when it comes to choosing to have sex but also choosing to continue to have sex, she has to decide, do I do this?
Do I go for this? Do I just go for the experience? Am I going to invest in this experience? Am I going to gain something from this experience?
Ninety-eight percent of the time, women have sex and they're like, "What was the point of that?"
So you definitely don't want to be that guy, and these deep pleasure and flow techniques, these are going to help you really be something and someone different.
Then finally there's bonding techniques and touches. These are techniques that cause the release of hormones in her body.
They'll stimulate oxytocin and you want to use these techniques wisely because they're very powerful and they can create very powerful sensations of bonding and love and connection and intimacy.
They're beautiful techniques and you, as a fully sexually empowered man, you need to be able to go to these places with a woman and feel confidence enough in yourself to be that vulnerable, because they're really beautiful spaces.
Guys who go through their lives . . . and I've met them, I mean, I've worked with guys who are in their 60s and 70s who have never opened up to a woman, who have never had the experience of being vulnerable.
I was doing a demonstration recently and there was a married man in his 60s who came up to me, and I was doing a live demo of some female genital massage techniques and he was like, "Can I come up and look? I've never seen a pussy live, up close."
So here's a guy who's married, who's basically had sex with his wife with the lights off. What he really wants to do is look at her body, and yet they don't have any communication.
And he was like, "Yeah, lights are always off, and it's pitch black, and I'm under the covers, and it's only for a little bit of time." It was just stunning.
So he came up, a guy in his 60s, and was just looking at my demo model's pussy and looking at me doing the massage techniques and he was just dumbfounded.
It was really stunning. So these techniques do not fall off the truck. These are techniques that need to be practiced and learned.
We're not born with them. We really need to be taught everything and you're going to begin to start at square one, in essence of tantra sex.
Anyways, I will stop here and I cannot cover everything in this one single article. For more, keep coming on my blog because I really appreciate your presence
I will stop here. I hope you loved reading this powerful guides on tantric sex arousal techniques to turn a woman on and if you really appreciated reading this simple guide here is something truly amazing for you below.
My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!
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