Before I show you exactly how to be a cool girl that no guy can ignore I would love to share an example of one of email subscriber with you.
Her story is something like this:
Erica - “So, what do you think of me? Do I even mean something to you, or am I just one of the girls you casually hang out with?”
“Oh no honey! You mean a lot to me. You are really special.” Replies Mark.
“Well, then why aren’t we officially boyfriend/girlfriend? Why does it feel like I’m still waiting in the line?”
Mark didn’t really have an answer to this, and I honestly can’t blame him.
The moment you have to ask a guy where you stand, or need him to explain where things are headed, you’ve already lost the battle.
It’s only a long, frustrating and a very painful uphill climb from that point forward.
At that point, you are only trying to read his mind or you're trying to hold someone who is super eager to run away from you.
This is the same as trying to hold a crazy dog by the leash, the more you pull him towards you, the more he tries to pull away.
You have to apply a severe amount of force, and the moment you take it easy, he runs away within seconds.
But the big question is - how does someone get in this situation with a guy to begin with? Why does such a thing take place? Why can't a guy see you as the cool girl he can't live without.
As said above, I had a client (my email subscriber) who was in this exact situation.
At first, the man she was dating showed so much interest in her, that it overloaded her ego.
She felt like he was so into her, that he would rush to her with a big shiny ring in his hand, the moment she asks him to marry her.
In fact, she even started making plans for their future.
Mind you, she didn’t tell the guy about these plans, it was all in her own head ,and she even decided the exact kind of wedding they would have, what kind of house they’re going to buy, and even went into great details planning and obsessing over every detail.
The more she met him, the more interested he appeared to be, in her.
Everything was going absolutely great until one day she asked him –
“So, what do you think about marriage?”
With a blank looks on his face he said – “I think marriage is over rated. I won’t ever marry.”
Huh? You won’t ever marry she asked?
Without any expression, he nodded his head in agreement.
Suddenly, she felt her wedding plans turning into a distant dream.
Feeling a sudden emotional rush, she asked the man – “So are you saying you won’t marry me?”
Now the look on this guys face went from blank to absolutely shocked.. “What? Marriage? We’ve only been going out for a little time.
Besides, I don’t want to ever get married; I just want to remain single forever.”
“Yeah right” said my client. “Fine! So tell me. Where do you see us a few years from now?”
Obviously, he didn’t have an answer.
This was that exact situation of trying to keep a dog on a leash, when he just wants to run after other things.
In such a case, you can't help but feel this ugly pull and tension, which is really painful.
So, there are 3 conclusions from this that you must understand.
Conclusion #1 – If you want to be a cool girl make him chase you.
Do you remember the absolutely incredible, plus a little bit over hyped, apple I-phone launch?
If you do, then one of the highlights of that whole launch was that people stood in lines outsides apple stores, waiting for them to crack open the doors.
The crazy thing was, people were willingly throwing money at apple, and wanted to be the first to get their hands on this gadget.
The point I’m trying to make here is simple – You have to do something similar with a man. You have to have the same effect, apple products had on their customers.
Here is the big lesson - You can’t take the product to his house and convince him to buy it, rather, you have to be cool enough to generate enough curiosity within him about you, which makes him chase you.
I’ll describe the process on how to do it in a moment, but before that it’s time to reveal the second big conclusion
Conclusion #2 – If you want to be that cool girl make him curious about you.
Once again, I’ll have to go back to the I-phone example. If you truly pay attention to the product itself, then you’ll realize that the unique selling point of the I phone wasn’t just its fancy design, and functionality.
It was something else, and something absolutely critical – It was scarcity.
When something becomes scarce, or hard to attain, we automatically assume it must be of higher value, and even agree to pay ridiculous amounts of price for it, which was the I phone in this case.
A very similar concept applies to men and relationships as well.
You could be an absolutely wonderful woman, who has her life in order, but that’s not enough anymore, you need to trigger enough tension and curiosity in his mind about you.
But, most women take the opposite route. They try to logically convince a guy, to notice their qualities.
However, the issue is that, doing it that way never works.
So in short, your true worth in his eyes, isn’t just dependent on your qualities, rather it’s also dependent upon the scarcity factor.
I’ll explain this in a lot more detail soon but before that let’s get to the third most important conclusion.
Conclusion #3 - Let him come see you as a cool girl, rather than trying to convince him that you're cool.
Never ever ask a guy where things are headed.
Never ever ask him – “So, what do you think of me” or “When will I see you again?”
All these are examples of you trying to convince a man to notice, or like you.
This is the same as trying to demonstrate the general qualities of a product in hopes that, he is eventually going to buy it.
The truth is, no one ever buys anything without enough tension and desire.
Similarly, it’s really important for a guy to come to his own conclusion that you are a wonderful and cool girl, and he would love to have you in his life.
And honestly, there is only one method which can help you achieve this. I call it the “Cool girl factor”.
To define it in the most simple terms, coolness factor is about being that one cool and easy going girl, who is free from all emotional insecurities, and has this positive/cool aura about herself.
Let me share my personal story to show you how to be a cool girl that men want to be with.
Many years ago, when I was actively practicing my pick up skills, I happened to meet this absolutely intriguing woman.
Let’s name her Andrea for privacy reasons. Andrea looked like a little bit of a geek on the outside, and was a huge book worm at heart.
In fact, she was literally addicted to all kinds of self-help books.
She had a room full of books, stacked one above another, and if that wasn’t enough, her computer hard drive was absolutely scattered with thousands of more self help eBooks.
Back in those days, my success rate with women was so good that it made me develop a little bit of an ego, and for the right reasons as well.
There aren’t many guys I knew of back in those days, who could actively approach random women, and get their phone number within 5 minutes of conversation.
But as they always say – “Pride comes before the fall”.
In my case, that was about to happen with the arrival of Andrea in my world.
I still remember the day when I was trying one of my tricks on her, and how she completely flipped it around, and made me look like a fool.
I was in conversation with Andrea over the phone one day, when I decided to play one of my tricks on her.
I said – “You know Andrea, I like you, but I don’t know if we could get along.”
Most women usually ask me why I think we won’t get along, and then I indirectly put myself in the position of power.
It’s a little sneaky, but has worked for me every single time I’ve used it.
However, in the case of Andrea, I was about to get a very unpleasant surprise.
The moment I said this sentence, I had a little grin plastered across my face, as if, I knew that Andrea will ask me why I think that, and then I would make her run after me.
But instead of asking me why, she changed the whole game around and said – “Oh Cool! So now I can date Chad. He seems to like me a lot.”
Chad was a friend of mine back in the day, and him, Andrea and a bunch of our other friends, used to hang out on weekends.
This statement caught me by surprise. I didn’t know what to say next, I was literally lost for words, and for the right reasons as well.
She had suddenly twisted the whole thing around in her favor, and now I was feeling like a fool.
Never before had a girl answered me like that. But this was only the beginning. It seemed like Andrea was completely immune to my efforts.
She seemed very strong emotionally, and not once did she make any efforts to impress or fascinate me, like other women.
Since all my efforts so far had miserably failed, I decided to turn on my “A GAME”.
I thought, I’ll use the jealousy card on her. On our next meeting, I pulled out my phone and started showing her some pictures of me standing next to this particular hot woman.
I thought when I’ll show it to her, she’d be curious and ask me more about her, and in the process get a little jealous.
However, the moment she saw the first picture, she made a funny face and said – “Aww, how cute. You two totally look like a couple.
You should marry her.” I hesitantly said, Um, I will.
And then, I saw no real emotional reaction from her. It was like Andrea wasn’t affected by my attempts whatsoever.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. The more I got to know Andrea, the more I started to like her and felt she was that one cool girl I always wanted to be with.
I had never ever come across a woman, who was such a joy to be around, and when I say that, I truly mean it.
Never once did she discuss anything negative with me, nor, did she ever complain about anything going on in her life.
When she did have any problems, she would ask me for my opinion, however, by the end, she always used to say – Don’t worry! I’ll handle it.
The more I got to know her, the more my mind felt emotionally attached to her.
You see, the weird part was, that even women who were 10 times prettier than Andrea, never had an effect this intense, on my mind and body.
I could literally feel myself falling for this woman, and it was like I had absolutely no control over myself.
Then, as more time passed by, it got to the point where I was the one calling Andrea several times a day, and I was the one trying to spend as much time with her as possible.
The rest of the story is a little too embarrassing, so I might share it with you in one of my future emails, however, for now, let’s get back to the big message.
The big message from this story is simple – Andrea had what I call the cool girl factor and here is why I say so:
She never chased after me, or even hinted that she was too into me.
She was never too eager for my attention; rather she welcomed me when I went to her, and never tried to pull me when I was away.
She never made efforts to make me like her, rather, she presented her best self, which naturally attracted me.
She never demanded respect from me, however, any time she felt like she was being disrespected, she just took space and avoided me.
In other words – She made her point by actions, not words.
She never tried to trap me, or force commitment on me.
Rather, she just demonstrated a positive attitude, which naturally made me feel a need to keep her around as much as possible.
I could go on and on, but I guess you get some idea on what I mean by the coolness factor.
The big theory is that, she never tried to force me or push me into feeling attraction for her, rather, she stood her ground, and demonstrated a positive attitude which naturally inspired me to feel attraction for her.
This is what the coolness factor can do for you. When you act like a cool woman around any guy, you indirectly help him eliminate all his barriers towards commitment, and also help him feel this positive tension which can only be satisfied when he commits to you.
This is the same kind of tension which you experience, when you have fallen in love with someone and deep down; you just want that person around, as often as possible.
So, how can one develop the coolness factor? It’s very simple, and requires you to do one thing, which is
Be emotionally independent if you want to be that cool girl.
I can’t tell you how important this one point is, not only in regards to men and relationships, but life as well.
The issue is that most women sooner or later, display certain tendencies, which indicate that they are dependent on their man emotionally.
It could be something as simple as demanding his time, effort or help. Cool women don’t demand anything, and display complete emotional independence.
If a guy would like to offer his time, effort or help on his own will, then it’s appreciated.
However, cool women never demand, or even expect such a thing from any man. But, here is the weird thing.
When you don’t demand or expect it, and are completely independent, guys will naturally feel the need to shower you with all these things and more.
That’s because deep down in their mind, they feel that since you’re this independent person, who isn’t going to force or push them around, you deserve their time, effort and help.
They naturally come to the conclusion, that you are a high quality woman, who deserves to be in their life, and they would even fight to keep you around as much as possible.
As long as you are emotionally independent, you will never have any trouble with men and relationships, and will easily get all the love, desire and devotion you desire from any man, without even having to ask for it.
That's the secret mantra to win a guy. I will stop here if you loved reading this step-by-step guide on how to be a cool girl you'll also love this amazing video presentation below.