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Do you know having the right Sexual Compatibility with the man you love is so important for amazing sex life?
If you feel your sexual compatibility with your man is a mismatch and you believe you love him more than sex.. it’s time to make changes and spice up your sex life with your man.
So ladies, stay with me for the next 15 minutes to fix your sexual compatibility issues with your man.
To begin with I want to talk a bit about “Sex in the City” if you could relate to what I am trying to convey here.
None of us can forget that “Sex in the City” episode where Carrie is swept off her feet by the dashing author Jack Berger.
Sparks fly over their initial flirtation and first few dates, until the sexual tension has built so high that they can’t stand it anymore.
They jump into bed together, and that’s when the whole thing goes terribly wrong.
Sex with this dynamic, exciting man is nothing like she thought it would be.
Although all his equipment works and he knows the right moves, Carrie can’t get into having sex with him.
It’s perfunctory, by the book, and – to be frank – boring.
Carrie ends up dumping her “good on paper, bad in bed” beau and feeling terrible about it.
She wonders: how could such a perfect man be such a dud in the bedroom, and for no good reason at all?
What Carrie doesn’t realize is that this happens all the time.
If you’re not feeling any sparks with a first-time lover, take heed.
Your body is giving you an important message.
Chances are, your body is telling you that you and Mr. Not-So-Right should NOT be trying to make beautiful babies together. Or maybe you are both not sexually compatible.
Our bodies are wiser than we are. Everything from the smell of a new partner’s body to his kiss sends messages to your body about whether or not his genes are a good match for yours.
If you can’t get enough of his smell or his taste, then consider this Mother Nature’s green light when it comes to making babies.
But if, on the other hand, he leaves you unmoved or even repelled, then take the hint.
Your genes aren’t a good match for each other, and any children you have may suffer from health issues caused by genetic weaknesses.
Sexual incompatibility is not something you should take lightly.
Not only does it suggest that you might be incompatible genetically, but it also points to a serious flaw in your relationship.
Sexual incompatibility is a major cause of divorce.
It is often cited in divorce papers either as a justification for adultery or as proof that a couple has lost all hope of reconciliation.
Even that venerable agony aunt Dr. Ruth agrees that “sex is the glue that holds a relationship together.”
It doesn’t take a genius to see why starting a relationship with your “glue bottle” almost empty is a recipe for disaster.
If you don’t enjoy sex with your partner, you won’t be as motivated to have it.
Low sexual desire is a ticking time bomb, as your partner translates your lack of physical desire into a lack of love for him.
Although you may be able to rationalize your lack of fireworks in the bedroom (“After all, we’re so good in every other way”), he won’t agree.
For men, sex is a vital component of any relationship.
If he’s not pleasing you in the bedroom, he’ll feel like less of a man.
In fact, knowing that his partner is sexually fulfilled is crucial to his own happiness.
Many women skirt around this issue by faking orgasms, but that’s no solution.
Faking it isn’t as bad as cheating on him, but, in his mind, it’s nearly as bad.
1. Should you do a “Carrie” and dump the guy out of mercy, knowing that he deserves a partner who can’t get enough of him – just as you do?
2. Or should you put more effort in, because you love this guy and you don’t want to give up without a fight?
Some guys are a lost cause when it comes to thoughtful, responsive, reciprocated sex.
These guys aren’t just sexually incompatible with you; they’re bad in bed all around.
Your first sign that a guy is going to be bad in bed is his kiss.
A good kiss will feel appropriate to the situation: soft and tender when saying goodnight, or hard and passionate as a prelude to sex.
If he seems incapable of varying his kissing style to suit the situation (or if he always kisses the same way) then chances are he’ll be equally unimaginative in the bedroom.
Good kisses are also responsive. He should be able to tell how you’re feeling based on how you react when he kisses you, and he should respond accordingly.
If you pull away or don’t respond enthusiastically to his kiss, he shouldn’t pressure you or ignore the nonverbal signals you’re giving him.
Lastly, good kisses are thoughtful.
If he knows how to manage his saliva during French kissing, or gives you room to breathe during a heavy make out session, then you can bet he’ll be equally as thoughtful in the bedroom!
You can tell a lot about a man’s bedroom style by how he treats you.
For example, if he’s often hesitant and asks you what you want to do for a date, rather than taking a leadership role, he may be submissive and hesitant in the bedroom.
Or, if he isn’t a good listener and can never remember what your favorite food or color is, then he probably won’t pay much attention to what you like or dislike during sex.
The most telling trait of all to look for when it comes to finding out whether a man will be good in bed is how selfish or self-centered he is.
A selfish man won’t suddenly turn into a giving lover.
He’s unlikely to change his behavior, because he likes the way he does things and won’t compromise for the sake of someone else.
However, a man who’s used to serving or caring for other people is much more likely to consider his partner’s needs during sex.
He’s also more likely to be open to suggestion and experimentation.
The best lovers know how to make love to a woman.
In fact best lovers are men who are willing to try new things, for no other reason than that they want to give pleasure to their partner.
Lastly, be cautious when it comes to dating men with drug or alcohol abuse issues.
Drugs and alcohol not only cause performance problems, but they also inhibit emotional intimacy.
A man who can only have sex with you after he’s been drinking or using drugs is not a man who’s ready for a long-term future with you.
If your lover is thoughtful, kind, and keen to please you in bed, then there’s always the possibility that he can learn to become a better lover.
Perhaps the issue is simply that he’s not used to making love the way you like it.
Once you teach him what you like, he could evolve into your ideal lover.
Couples rarely hit their sexual groove until they’ve been together for a while.
It takes time to learn what the other person likes and dislikes.
You have to try a range of sex positions before you hit on the two or three that really do it for both of you.
Similarly, you’ll want to try having sex at various times during the day or various places in the house, until you hit on the perfect combination.
So if you’re bored in bed because he doesn’t know you, or he doesn’t know how to press your buttons as well as your former lover did, be patient.
It takes time for both of you to learn how to exploit each other’s erogenous zones.
The key to making a man a better lover is to give him feedback.
If he needs to move a half-inch to the right, tell him! If you want him to change pace or do something else, tell him.
He can’t read your mind, and he can’t intuitively know what you like based on experience, either, since you aren’t like any of his previous lovers.
(In fact, no lover is the same; each new lover requires new skills and techniques.)
He’ll be relieved if you just come out and tell him exactly what you want, where you want it.
Sometimes, it can be really hard to articulate what we want, but we know it when we feel it.
If that’s the case for you, make sure to make loud sounds of approval when he’s doing something right. This is help you both become sexually compatible to one another.
He wants to hear you cry out in pleasure, and he’ll be sure to do whatever he’s doing again and again and again, to enjoy the sounds of your satisfaction.
If you’re not used to taking a leadership role during sex, you may find this hard.
Many women are used to their sexual partner taking the dominant position.
This is perfectly natural, as it’s a feature of the masculine-feminine interplay that makes sex so juicy, but it’s not always appropriate.
If he’s not “leading you” in a direction you want to go, you may have to take over the reins temporarily.
Many men enjoy having the woman take a more dominant role during sex.
Not only does it turn them on, but they also enjoy not having to work so hard!
So try having sex your way every once in a while.
Take the initiative, seduce him, lead him into the bedroom (or wherever your fantasy takes you), and show him how you like being made love to.
Maybe having a romantic environment is important to you, so you light candles and put on fresh sheets and turn on background music.
Or maybe you take more time with foreplay, slipping out of clothes one article at a time and driving him mad before his underwear has even come off.
Not only will he enjoy the novelty of the experience, but he’ll learn a lot from your example.
Studies have shown that children learn best by modeling other people’s behavior, and adults are no different.
He’ll learn more by your example than he ever could have by listening to you describe what you want.
If you’ve been together for several months and tried every trick in the book and still don’t feel satisfied, then it’s time to consider whether or not this relationship is right for you.
There’s nothing wrong with ending a relationship because the sexual chemistry just isn’t there.
Not matter how “perfect” this man may be in other ways, there is another man out there who’s just as perfect but also has the advantage of being exciting in bed.
It may take some work to find him, but the search will be well worth the reward!
Every men and women have the right to an exciting, fulfilling sex life.
In fact, relationship counselors know that satisfying sex is one of the primary ingredients in successful long-term relationships.
Can you really afford to “settle” for lackluster sex, when the price may be divorce several years down the road?
If, however, you’ve already committed to this man – perhaps you’ve been married for twenty years.
And are only now realizing how much better your sex life could have been – then sex therapists are available to help you become sexually compatible to one another.
Although it can be embarrassing to make that first appointment, it’s worth remembering that sex therapists are professionals who have heard and seen every kind of problem.
They won’t be shocked by what you have to say, and they’ll be full of valuable advice that can really make a difference to your relationship.
Your partner’s attitude will make all the difference. If he’s willing to try, then you have a good chance of success.
If, on the other hand, he feels insulted by your suggestion or cuts off sex entirely to punish you for daring to suggest that your sex life could be improved, then you’re going to have a hard time on your hands.
Never forget that a man’s sexual prowess is one of the cornerstones of his masculinity.
Challenge it, or suggest that he’s not as good as he could be in bed, and he’ll feel hurt beyond belief.
Imagine how you’d feel if he told you that you could stand to lose twenty pounds or get a makeover.
You’d be horrified, right? Well, that’s how he feels when you suggest that he could benefit from a session with a sex therapist.
He feels that you’re criticizing his masculinity, when all you want to do is help.
The secret to making these difficult suggestions more palatable is by posing them as your problems
(e.g., “I really want to improve my sexual technique to be a better partner to you, but I’m not sure how to do it, and I’m scared of going to a sex therapist alone. Would you come with me for support?”)
Or by framing them as ways to make your relationship more exciting in general (e.g., “I’ve been reading about all these new techniques in Cosmopolitan, and I’d love to try them out with you, because I think they’d be a lot of fun.
Would you take a look at this article and tell me if it’s something you would enjoy, too?”).
There’s nothing shameful at needing a little boost to kick start your love life, especially if you’ve experienced satisfactory sex with this person in the past.
Every couple will experience at least one sexual dry spell during their years together, and the secret to overcoming it and becoming sexually compatible again is:
(1) notice that it’s happening, and
(2) put aside dedicated time to reconnect romantically and sexually.
Having a happy and fulfilling sex life takes work, there’s no doubt.
But if it’s an uphill struggle from the get-go, then you may not be with your perfect match.
Good sex should be easy, although not necessarily perfect, during the halcyon days of the “honeymoon” stage.
If it’s not – if you feel like you could “take it or leave it” when it comes to sex – then this person might be better suited to becoming a friend rather than a romantic mate.
Take a tip from Carrie: not every Mr. Perfect is perfect for us.
Try your best, but if it doesn’t work, move on with a free heart to find that Mr. Big who’s perfect for you in every way!
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My name is Manish Yadav and I’m the owner of the blog "Love Finds its Way". My advice does away with the manipulations and mind games recommended by magazines and the surface level advice of TV gurus… We’ll dive DEEP into the psychology and biology of desire and give you actionable steps you can use today. Over 900,000 men & women have transformed their relationships as a result, and I've been featured in Lifehack, Return of Kings, Menimprovement, Urban Dater, and so on... ...and no... We're not here to play games so you can manipulate your significant other... ...My only intention is to help you and your partner have a healthy and loving relationship by working on your intimacy with each other. And we’re just getting started!