After seeing so many couples having trouble in the bedroom (at a certain point of life), I decided to dedicate this article on the truth about female orgasms and why you've failed to satisfy her to this precise subject:
Maybe youâve been in a relationship for a while, and the lack of sexual spark is starting to take its toll on you.
You want to please your girl or satisfy her sexually like in the good old days, but monotony or other psychological and emotional discrepancies stop you from achieving your goal?
You want to spice up your sex life, make it more exciting and full of sensual fire, but youâre clueless about where you should start your journey?
Most importantly, you want to satisfy your partner by giving her orgasms every Time?
Dude trust me. I am here to fulfill your wish.
Read this step-by-step easy guide on the truth about female orgasms and why youâve failed to please her.
So. . . if you are ready let's begin.
Thereâs any numbers of reasons why couples are having unfulfilling bedroom time.
There is the medical case of the women that suffer painful sex from vaginismus (vaginal tightness) or Dyspareunia (uncomfortable intercourse due to medical or psychological causes).
But the main reason has to do with the waning of desire in time.
As weâre all aware, our desire for our partners fades the longer we spend with them.
This has to do with a hormone called limerence.
It makes us want to jump all over a new lover, but it only lasts between 6 and 24 months and that is also one reason why you do not please her sexually in bed.
As when limerence disappears, itâs gone for good and will only come back if we start dating someone new.
The arrival of babies, too, often puts an end to a coupleâs lovemaking.
Itâs due to the sex hormone Dhea. When you have children, it depletes in the body, which is natureâs way of telling you to look after your kids and to stop shagging your husband.
Dr. Janet Hall, clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author of Sex-life Solutions: Easy Solutions for Everyday Sexual Problems, says thereâs a real problem, too, when sex becomes all quantity and limited quality.
âHow do you equate a male orgasm in two minutes with the woman being left hanging fry?
You can be having all the sex you want, but if your partner is getting little pleasure from it, and feels used, disconnected, flat or empty, then youâre having bad sex. Period.â
If youâre not really sure whether the sex youâre having is bad or not for either you or your partner, all you need to do is ask yourself these questions:
1. Is there a power play going on between the both of you? Does she only agree to get intimate when she wants something done? If sex has become a bargaining chip, then youâre doing it for the wrong reasons.
2. Are you both sexually compatible? You may want light S & M every Tuesday while she may only want cuddles. All relationships have different expectations. But if thereâs a true divide in sexual desire - you want it daily; she wants it every Christmas- things donât look pretty well.
3. Have you become the âwifeâ she never had? Are you cooking, cleaning and putting all your energy into your wine collection? Then it sounds like neither of you are getting laid properly. Men become more sexually assertive when theyâre in control, while women may feel more desire for a mate with new found machismo.
4. Do you avoid each other out of the bedroom, too? When the sex sours, invariably, the rest of the relationship does as well. Boost the romp tally and youâll improve your relationship.
5. Got a wandering eye? Suddenly taken a fancy to that cute new marketing girl? Donât panic if itâs nothing more than a platonic crush, but if you really desire to jump her bones, perhaps itâs a sign things arenât that well between you and your partner.
The sex fears that stop you from fully committing to giving your partner an orgasm.
As you can see, a femaleâs ability to orgasm is strongly related to the quality of the sex youâre having.
And being a man you must know the truth about female orgasms and why you've failed to satisfy her.
You might think your bedroom encounters are not that bad, but there are things youâre not taking into consideration and these precise things are the ones that stop her from reaching the point of climax.
Of course, itâs all a matter of technique and learning the things she likes and the needs of her body, but before we can move on to those.
We have to go through another very important topic when it comes to the quality of the sex you two are having: your secret sex fears.
A manâs bedroom hang-ups are a lot like his embarrassing rallies: just because you never talk about them Doesnât mean they Donât exist.
âThe idea that men donât have any feelings about sex beyond wanting it is nutsâ, says Lisa Firestone, co-author of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships.
âJust as women can be as sexual as men, men can be as self-critical and worried as women.â
The problem is that if you guys arenât always forthcoming about your emotions in general, youâre even less so where matters of the mattress are concerned.
Youâd rather watch a Twilight marathon than share your sex fears with your partner, right?
Itâs a pride thing and itâs completely normal.
You arenât used to talking about stuff like that, whereas women constantly discuss their insecurities with their friends.
Fortunately, Iâm here to offer advice on how to deal and find the truth about female orgasms and why you've failed to satisfy he .
But before that bit of a warning: these strategies are guaranteed to calm your anxietiesâ¦ and whip your libido into frenzy.
âUh-oh, this feels too good!â
Climaxing Too soon is a real worry for most men.
âWhen a man climaxes before he intends to, whether thatâs after one minute or 15, it shakes his confidence and makes him feel out of controlâ, says Ian Kerner, author of Passionista: The Empowered Womanâs Guide to Pleasuring a Man.
That kind of pressure can ruin the moment.
When youâre struggling to restrain yourself, tensing your jaw, clenching your muscles and taking short, rapid breaths donât really work.
Try switching to a position that gives less stimulation, like girl-on-top.
Or try a mini break and touch each other in sensual spots the erogenous zones, to keep your desire simmering without having it boil over.
Give Her Explosive Orgasms - How To Touch, Lick, & Pleasure Her Sexual Organs So Well She Comes Before You Unzip Her Pants.
Once you have mastered these 5 orgasm secrets, you can give her indescribable pleasure and have her sexually satisfied in no time.
âI have no clue how to make her climaxâ
Basically, if youâre unable to satisfy your woman, youâre bound to feel like less of a man.
The pride you take in your huge plasma TV is nothing compared to how much your sexual skills mean to you.
At the first sign of lack of satisfaction from your partnerâs part, you start questioning your abilities as a lover.
Youâre even more confused when you get mixed signals from her and you canât really be sure if she did had an orgasm or she was in fact faking it.
To shake these bad feelings, pay attention to the way she reacts to what youâre doing- does her toes curl, does she sigh or moan, does she tell you how great something felt?
Also, encourage her to confide in you and admit when something wasnât as pleasurable.
Or ask her to guide your way through.
When you know for sure what she likes and doesnât like and how she behaves in either of the two situations mentioned above, youâll be more likely to believe that sheâs for real and you do make her come.
âmy oral sex or eating pussy technique is a messâ
Worrying about what to do has probably never ruined your enthusiasm for oral sex, but it can distract you, especially if you approach the whole thing like a guessing game.
You really do want to give her all the pleasure she can handle, but in order to do that you have to relax and sink deeper into the experience.
Try this technique: as youâre going down on her, start by kissing her like youâd normally do when kissing her mouth; slowly, licking her all over, not just focusing on the clitoris.
From time to time, move your mouth away and touch her with your fingers for more variety.
Just like I mentioned above, Donât limit yourself to just the clitoris or the inner lips.
If you take the time to arouse the whole genital area, sheâll be pulsing with excitement everywhere, and finishing her off will be a piece of cake.
âsheâll get dry if I take too longâ
Most women start to become dry after a lengthy sex session even if theyâre still turned on, especially when a condom is involved.
Thatâs why some genius invented water-based lubricant.
And incorporating this slippery stuff into your routine doesnât just ease dryness, it increases sensation.
So, if wearing protection turns you into Captain Stamina, try this: before you get to intercourse, squirt a medium-sized dollop into your hand, and then rub your palms together to warm it up, and then stimulate her manually.
Whenever you feel sheâs getting dry, stop the vaginal penetration and touch her like that, or do a little bit of oral.
This will get her juices flowing again and sheâll be able to last as long as it takes you to get to the finish line.
âwhat if she gets pregnant?â
As much as you love sex, you are hardwired to worry just a little about mistakes, especially if you donât feel youâre ready to be a father.
Wipe out that fear by getting really serious about protection.
If condoms are your contraception of choice, be adamant about using them every single time.
âI am not big enough for her and that is why I cannot satisfy and please her in bedâ
This thought is in the back of 39 percent of menâs minds.
In fact, one study found that men who said they had a bellow average penis were all in fact within the normal range (FYI, average is about 16 cm when erect).
If you want to feel more secure, go for positions that make her feel tighter, so you feel bigger.
Have her put her legs on your shoulders in missionary or try spooning, where youâre side by side and you enter her from behind.
âIf I talk dirty to get her in the mood, sheâll think iâm a freakâ
If you want to whisper smutty nothings into her ear while youâre making love, make sure you donât sound like youâre auditioning for a porno.
Just by saying that you like what youâre seeing (women are self-conscious about how their body look during sex, so this compliment will be like honey to her ears),
Or revealing what you plan to do to her will be enough to ease her trepidationâ¦ and turn her on like crazy.
A less revealing way to find out what presses her buttons is to simply ask her about a sexual fantasy, or have her describe her all-time favorite sexy movie scene (trust me, she has one), and then tell her yours in return.
Have her go into detail by asking lots of questions.
The explanations of what turns her on will tell you what she likes and set boundaries for what she doesnât.
And all that stimulating conversation may even inspire new amorous adventures.
# So how a womanâs orgasm can really be achieved.
So youâre in bed, things are starting to heat up between the two of you and soon enough youâre having sex.
You expect her to have an orgasm, but she Doesnât.
You wonder why, since things seemed to work like a charm between the two of you. You were certainly aroused and finished beautifully.
The problem: vaginal penetration is not enough to stimulate a woman up to the point of having an orgasm.
This situation is alarmingly common. Actually, one in four women never achieves orgasm at all.
This is a scenario that women know only too well.
Guys still believe that sex is only about vaginal penetration.
There are times when a woman is feeling embarrassed, thinking that her body must be having a malfunction and thatâs why she canât orgasm through vaginal penetration.
The conclusion: they start feeling sorry for having to fake the whole thing, frustrated that their partners didnât knew they werenât fulfilled, but too shy to tell them about it.
âThe problem is not that women arenât hungry for sexâ, says Nicole Daedone, author of Slow Sex:
The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm.
âThe problem is they want and need a different kind of sex Than whatâs Traditionally on The menu.â
In other words you need to learn the truth about female orgasms and why you've failed to please her.
John Aiken, relationship psychologist and author of Accidentally Single, agrees and completes the argument by saying that one of the main causes to sexual discontent is that the modern woman has become far more experienced, and itâs not willing to accept lukewarm sexual techniques any longer.
âItâs rare we marry virgins anymore, is it?â he proffers.
âWomen have become far more liberated around the idea of sex; they want to enjoy sex, to explore that side of their lives.
Theyâre not willing to stay unhappy with their sex lives for long anymore.â
All women have been there: weâre on our way to O-land, but somehow we end up losing that lovinâ feeling.
When a woman stalls on her way to reaching an orgasm, there are two possible culprits.
One is mental: we let all sorts of thoughts get in the way and therefore we lose our focus.
The other is physical: the guy doesnât really know what to do, meaning that he either changes positions or the pace too suddenly, or he doesnât do enough to make sure she is aroused properly.
Of course itâs no fun when this happens, either for you or especially for her, but you should know that itâs not that out of the ordinary and it happens to most couples at some point.
Luckily, itâs also a very fixable problem. Phew!
So the next time youâre in bed, donât let your partner veer dangerously off the orgasm track, use these tips to get her back on and reach the finish line together.
Use these 5 orgasm techniques and you'll hear your woman say:
âIâve never felt someone so Powerful inside meâ¦â
No matter what your age is, you have the ability to completely satisfy any woman in bed once you master these 5 orgasm secrets.
Lesson 1. help her be thoughtless- literally!
The average guy could spend the day inhaling KFC and still want sex when he gets home.
But if women eat too much- or feel bloated or have a âfatâ or âuglyâ day they often shut Down their sex Drive.
The reason? âFemales have this notion that they donât deserve sex unless they look and fell absolutely perfect, but thatâs total crapâ, says Cynthia Gentry, author of What Men Really Want in Bed.
Men often pick up on these feelings and are less inclined to ask for it, which only reinforces a womanâs thinking that sheâs not sexually attractive.
The result is a lot less sex for everyone involved.
To top things off, women are much more prone to getting Distracted by little worries during sex than men are.
Outside the bedroom, this gives women a huge advantage over men, because theyâre so much better at multitasking.
But in bed, it can be seriously detrimental.
âWhen was the last time I changed these sheets? Did I put the leftovers in the fridge?â and other niggling thoughts can through a womanâs body off course and make her miss her orgasm.
The first order of business is to take care of everything that might make her mind wander.
Turn off all mobile phones, play music to drown out a squeaky bed, or install pink bulbs in the bedroom (they cast an awesome glow and she wonât be wandering if she looks fat or if you are noticing her cellulite or not).
When you notice sheâs getting distracted by something you canât control, such as a car honking, try this simple move: talk! It refocuses her concentration.
Describe exactly whatâs going on- how you feel inside her, how hot it is when she does xyz. It brings her back into the moment and heightens her sensations.
Another scenario might occur: you pull a switcher on her and she loses her orgasm, though she was on the brink of coming.
In a situation like that, itâs best to take a break.
Go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, whatever. That way, when you resume sex, youâre both starting fresh.
Lesson 2. little things are big turn-ons
It doesnât take much to get a guy excited.
If you spot a millimeter of skin between a womanâs top and jeans, you start thinking about what that woman would like nakedâ¦ and presto, youâre in the mood.
Statistics show that most men think about sex throughout the day, so a guy is always open to associating things with sex.
By the time you get home, the sexual tension has been building for so long that youâre raring to go.
But females work differently.
Women think about sex when itâs time for sex, but they often donât allow seemingly nonsexual things to trigger thoughts of that kind of pleasure.
Since women are not visual creatures, like men, you have to try to turn her on using the power of touch.
One of the sexiest sensations is a tingly touch on bare skin- and these moves will surely arouse her and enhance the probability of orgasm.
Lesson 3. Give her taste sensations.
Sip sparkling wine, then lick along her lips and neck, lingering on the sensitive slope between her lower lip and chin.
The alcohol tingles and then evaporates quickly for a sexy, skin-teasing effect.
For an even more intense sensation, take a mouthful of wine and pass it onto her while kissing.
Lesson 4. French-kiss her (slowly).
Pop a mint in your mouth. Youâll both get chills because the menthol will trigger the bodyâs cold receptors.
Take your time and kiss your way down her breasts. âMentholâs effects last 20 minutesâ, says Jay Wiseman, author of Tricks:
More Than 125 Ways to Make Good Sex Better. So youâll have lots of time for frosty foreplay.
Lesson 5. Gently scratch her.
Climb on top of her, then lightly rake your fingernails over her breasts, circling her nipples gently, Tease her thin-skinned areas, like her wrists, as well.
The feeling is even more intense there, not to mention that the fact that theyâre not usual sex spots will surprise and arouse her more.
The gentle scratching will awaken her primal side (yes, she has one as well!).
Lesson 6. Massage her.
For a peppery head-to-toe turn-on, start with cinnamon-flavored lube that heats up when touched.
Massage her, rubbing the liquid in with your fingers.
Before you move on to intercourse to satisfy her sexually, turn on a fan or the air-con and watch her shiver with pleasure.
Lesson 7. Keep her guessIng.
As you start to kiss her deeply, run your fingertips, lips or another body part along your partnerâs spine. Tip: try a zigzag pattern.
âA straight line only activates nerves along your courseâ, says Susan Hubbs, author of Pamper Your Partner:
Thirty Days to a Romantic Relationship. âA random path surprises and will heighten the entire surrounding area.â
Lesson 8. Chill her for thrills.
Make ice from sparkling mineral water, then rub her down with the cubes. The carbonation will leave slushy pockets in the ice, so one.
Lesson 9. Compliment your manhood
From the time theyâre little boys, guys worship their package- they play with it, take extra care to protect it, and sometimes refer to it as if it were a person.
âThe love affair men have with their genitalia actually helps them have better sex, because they know every inch of it and what touches and moves bring maximum pleasureâ, says Yvonne K. Fulbright, author of Pleasuring: The Secrets to Sexual Satisfaction.
Women on the other hand, typically donât have the same kind of self-love.
Most women focus only on the clitoris, and ignore other parts of their genitalia.
There are so many other spots that can be arousing, and it will enhance your sex life and the probability of an orgasm if you help her become familiar with them.
If you thought there were place in your pants that would bring you instant pleasure, would you ignore them? Uh, no. So help her reach the same kind of familiarity and self-love towards her genital area.
Have her lie down, massage her thighs into complete relaxation, and then spend some quality time exploring all those feel-good spots on her body.
Rub the area around her clitoris, stroke up and down the sides of her vulva, tug gently on her labia.
And donât forget to go hunting for her g-spot: a coin-sized area located about eight centimeters up her inner vagina wall that becomes more prominent when sheâs fully turned on.
To find it: once sheâs aroused, curve your index finger and slide it inside her.
With the pad of your fingertip, feel around until you find an area that feels raised and spongy, and tap or rub it lightly to see if she enjoys the sensation.
While youâre doing all this, donât forget to compliment her body through and through: the way it reacts in your hands, the way it feels at touch, the way it smells and the way it tastes.
Once she sees how much you adore her down there area, sheâll forget all her insecurities and fully commit to the pleasures her body is capable of giving her.
Lesson 10. practice makes perfect
A man has sex as much as possible- solo or with a partner.
And thereâs a biological reason why. men have more testosterone, which is one of the factors that makes them want sex more.
The good news is climaxing frequently can boost a femaleâs sex Drive so itâs more akin to a guyâs.
Having an orgasm and sexual satisfaction actually helps women produce testosterone, which will make them want sex more often.
This means that if you want her to want sex as much as you, you should be regularly bringing her to climax.
In order to do that, feel free to experiment and see what works for her.
Donât be shy about trying different techniques to make her climax, either using your hands, mouth or penis.
One pleasure friendly position for fingering is to have her lie on her stomach with her legs together, while you slide your hand down between her legs, pressing your fingers against her clitoris and moving them in a circular motion.
It creates a tight friction that can do wonders.
Also try Doing it in Different places: test out her climax potential in the bath.
Have her lie on her back with her legs spread under the tap so that the water rushes down on her clitoris.
When sheâs fully aroused, have her stand up and take her from behind. Sheâll only need a few trysts to orgasm.
Lesson 11. sex is better at full mast
Think of her clitoris like your think of your penis.
Theyâre more similar than you think: both have about the same number of nerves, require stimulation to climax, and become engorged when aroused.
The difference is, the clitoris doesnât need to be engorged for a woman to have sex- but for the best chance of a mind blowing orgasm, lavish her clitoris with attention before you do the deed.
Most penises grow to about twice their size when erect, and a womanâs clitoris swells too.
During foreplay, youâll have to try different moves to see what gets her going.
Start with direct pressure and as it becomes engorged (and more sensitive), you may have to use a softer touch.
Once you feel it swelling, make a v with your index and middle fingers, place them on either side, and move them up and down.
When you reach the point where the slightest touch is enough to make her moan and send her over the edge, start having sex.
Lesson 12. things you think she likes- but she doesnât!
Blame it on urban myths, locker room stories or pornographic movies, the truth is there are certain things guys do in bed, absolutely convinced they work, that not only donât arouse women up to the point of climax, theyâre not in the least pleasurable.
Read and leave them behind you asap if you truly wish to understand the truth about female orgasms and why you've failed to satisfy her
a) Jackhammer sex. Nothingâs worse that a guy who pumps away robotically. Sure, sometimes we need consistency to help get there, but changing your rhythm and intensity is integral to good sex.
b) changing positionsâ¦ a lot. Varietyâs good- but not when it feels like weâre doing an aerobic class instead of having sex. Doing your best contortionist impression doesnât help a woman sexually.
c) toe-sucking. For the majority of us, itâs plain gross. Even if our feet are spot-on clean and freshly pedicured, itâs still our feet weâre talking about. Not to mention that the most common reaction youâll get to this is crazy laughter from all the tickling.
d) surprise backdoor play. Sure, we might find a finger up our bottom extremely arousing and satisfying, but not when it takes us by surprise. Be a gentleman and ask our opinion before going on to doing something so invasive and private.
So guys I will stop here. I believe you truly admired reading this marathon guide on the truth about female orgasms and why you've failed to satisfy her.
Now before you take your leave, I request you to watch this amazing video below to make your woman sexually and emotionally obsessed with you.
TRY THESE 5 IRRESISTIBLE ORGASM TECHNIQUES
THAT WILL MAKE HER CRY OUT IN SHEER ORGASMIC PLEASURE
Discover the best positions for maximum surface contact and the moves which lead to intense vaginal and G-spot orgasms simultaneously.
Learn the massage techniques you can apply to your womanâs breasts, chest and back to revitalize alternative centers of pleasure for a complete, fulfilling erotic experience.