I have already shared with you guys why she hates giving you blowjob in my previous article.
Now, this article is where the pedal hits the metal. Over the next few paragraphs we’re going to understand how to get a girl to give you a blow job.
For a girl giving you a blow job should be something that asserts her power and makes her feel irresistible, sexy, wonderful and wanted. (All women want to feel wanted.)
The rest of this article is broken down into two main components all built around “flipping a switch” in her head around blow jobs and making them into something she just loves to do.
Part one is about how to get a girl to give you a blow job in the first place and getting her to see it as HER IDEA.
This is important. If you beg and plead her to get a blow job, it’ll become too big of a deal and have too much weight attached to it.
Using the techniques I teach you in this part she’ll make the decision to give you a blow job ON HER OWN.
And once she does it’s quite possible she’ll get “addicted to you” sexually and emotionally.
Part two is going to teach you “how to get a blow job.”
I know, I know, all you have to do is lay back and enjoy it, right? Wrong.
There’s actually an art to RECEIVING a blow job from a woman that boosts her ego, makes it really enjoyable for her and radically increases your chances of getting more head in the future.
If you follow this method the first few times you’ll be able to get head “on demand” from then on.
OK, even if your wife or girlfriend “sometimes” gives you head now, I still recommend you read (and reread) this section.
It’s all in the name of getting great blow jobs, but what I teach you in the next few paragraphs will do wonders for your sexual connection, your woman’s desire to try new things and the amount of FUN you guys have in the bedroom together.
Here’s one basic rules and things you need to internalize in order to make this “blow job” thing start to happen in your life.
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1. Don’t beg… EVER. Your woman needs to see you as a powerful man full of sexual stamina.
Most women want their man to be the dominant but respectful one in the sexual relationship.
That means you CAN NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DESIRES.
If you ever act embarrassed by something you want sexually your odds of getting it go WAY down.
Whether you want her to go down on you or put on a sexy clown costume and juggle your balls, you need to OWN your desire and feel confident about it.
This can be hard to pull off, but it’s incredibly important.
So Here is Step One to Get Her to Give You Blow Job.
Turn her lips and mouth into an erogenous zone.
OK, this is actually some sneaky fun where we’re going to start creating a strong connection in your woman’s mind between her mouth, lips and tongue and PLEASURE.
We’re going to do that in two major ways.
First we’re going to “wake up” the nerves in her lips and mouth using some sensual touch (this is fun.)
Then we’re going to use basic psychology to get her to “feel really good” when she has you in her mouth.
Ready? Great.
1. Waking up the nerves in her lips and mouth.
I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t absolutely LOVE this.
Next time you’re in bed or even just kissing your woman, kiss her really nicely and then say.
“Hold on a second.
I want you to close your eyes and just let me kiss you for a second.”
The key is to get her to just stay still with her mouth either closed (ok) or partially open (much better).
While she’s laying there (or standing there), take the very tip of your tongue and lightly trace it along her lips.
You just barely want the tip of your tongue to touch her lip.
You’re not licking her like dog here or anything like that, you’re just gently caressing her lips with your tongue.
Women LOVE this when you do it right.
Every woman I’ve pulled this trick with has gotten a HUGE grin on her face and said it felt fantastic (it also feels great to have a woman do to you.)
Our next trick is something you can try while you’re kissing her.
While you’re french kissing, use the tip of your tongue to “tickle” the roof of her mouth.
Remember this steps matters so don’t skip if you want to learn how to get a blow job.
Just run the tip of your tongue along the roof of her mouth in a subtle and sensual way…
While you’re making love, use just the very tip of your fingers to gently stroke her lips and mouth.
Don’t try to shove your fingers in there (we’ll do that later) just GENTLY touch her lips. Do it as lightly as you humanly can.
Introduce food play into your lovemaking. Strawberries are GREAT for this, by the way.
While she’s turned on and you’re doing one of your favorite things to her, bring a strawberry up to her mouth and encourage her to eat it.
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2. Creating an “oral fixation.”
Next time you’re in bed with your woman, take time to really focus on HER pleasure. If there’s a particular way she really likes you to fuck her, do that.
Or you can go down on her, to eat her pussy or use your fingers…really, just focus on doing something you KNOW gets her off and that she really enjoys.
While she’s in the throws of passion, bring your fingers up to her mouth.
Just bring them right up to her lips. (Quick note: many women really LIKE the taste of their own vaginal juices.
You may want to get your fingers all wet, finger her G Spot to an orgasm and then bring your fingers up to her mouth.)
The key is to have her suck on your fingers either.
WHILE she’s experiencing great pleasure (one hand is getting her off while the other is in her mouth) or directly afterwards (she comes and then you bring your hand to her mouth.)
Look her in the eye and tell her: “You look so beautiful right now.”
Or “That feels soooo good.”
Or “Wow, you’re good at that.”
Or “God, I love your tongue.”
You can really say anything as long as it’s complimentary, lets her know that what she’s doing looks/feels really sexy and helps to build up her “oral ego.”
We’re really laying groundwork here so she feels good and confident when she finally does go down on you to give you head.
3. “Suck her cock.”
WHOA!!!!
OK, OK, get off the ledge. Don’t panic. It’s going to be OK.
You don’t ACTUALLY need to suck anyone’s cock here.
What you DO need to do is give her a tiny glimpse of what it’s like to receive a blow job.
I know, this sounds weird, let me explain.
Next time you’re messing around with your woman I want you kiss your way down her arm.
Use your tongue and lips liberally here and really let her enjoy it.
(You may also want to nibble on her wrists. Little known fact how good that feels to a woman.
Depending on what she’s into you can even bite her pretty hard there. That’s been a secret weapon of mine for years.)
Kiss your way across her palm, up her fingers and then (with a smile, this is FUN) take her finger into your mouth.
Eye contact is good here. Really have fun with her fingers. Fingers are actually REALLY sensitive.
She’ll probably like this a LOT and may even get into it.
(Tangent: Obviously, you should also be up for going down on your woman.
It’s really not fair of you to ask her to if you’re not willing to do the same. Man up and get down there.)
(Tangent two: Going down on her doesn’t replace the sucking her fingers thing.
There’s something about penetrating someone that is so wholly different from cunnilingus that it might as well be on another planet.
If you really want this, really get in there and suck her fingers like they’re a sexual extension of her. Have fun with it.
If you show her you can do that without losing your masculinity or dominance she’ll realize she can go there too…and lower.)
WHEW!
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OK, now let's get to the JUICY STUFF and Convince Her to Give You Blow Job..Here's How..
Step 1: Take It Slow And Do Not Force Her For Oral Sex.
Set a timer for 5 minutes.
Have her lay on the bed.
Say to her “For the next 5 minutes I will do whatever you want me to you.”
(Note: Some women will panic at being given control like that. Make some suggestions. “I can massage you.
I can touch you all over. I can kiss you all over. I can finger you. I can stimulate your clitoris”)
When my wife and I play this game she usually asks me to spend time sucking her breasts or focusing on something that I (I’m a horny dude and have a tendency to want to get in there and get to business) don’t usually take the time to do long enough when we’re fucking.
Whatever she asks you to do DO IT. In fact, do it with GUSTO. Let her know you’re ENJOYING giving her pleasure.
The great thing about this game is that it takes all the pressure off of her to perform or to do anything to you.
She can just relax and enjoy what you’re doing to her. It creates a great sense of gratitude and reciprocity.
(Taking penetrative sex off the table can actually do wonders for your sex life in general, by the way.)
Step 2: SWITCH YOUR SEXUAL POSITIONS!
After the five minute timer is up, ask her if she enjoyed that. Look her in the eyes and kiss her.
Then ask her if she wants to switch places.
She’ll probably say yes, but if she doesn’t, just go with it. Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
If she does say yes (she probably will) DO NOT jump the gun and ask her to give you head.
In fact, don’t ask her to do anything overtly “sexual” at all.
Instead, start pretty innocent. Say something like.
“I want you to spend 5 minutes just touching my chest and legs but NOT my cock.”
Or “I want you to kiss all over my body.” (She may kiss your cock during this, but it’s HER idea.)
Or “I want you to kiss and lick and suck my fingers.”
Whatever it is, make it something SENSUAL instead of sexual.
Bringing her mouth into things is a GOOD idea at this point, but you need to make sure you’re not rushing to oral sex.
Reverse the rules. Game two is essentially the same thing with reversed rules.
Have her lay down on the bed. Say, “OK, now I’m going to spend 5 minutes doing whatever I want to do to you.”
It’s important not to act predatory or weird here.
If you have some fetish she’s NOT into, this isn’t the time to bring it up. This isn’t a dom/slave thing or anything like that.
Instead pick something you really DO want to do to her for 5 minutes, tell her what it is and stick to it.
The first time you do this you probably want to keep it pretty basic. Touch her all over.
Give her a massage. Feed her your fingers. Massage her ass. (Ass massages turn women into jello, by the way.)
WORSHIP HER BODY.
Make her feel like the sexiest woman in the world. Show her how much you adore her and even TELL her how much you adore her while you’re doing it.
If she gives you signals that she really wants you to touch her pussy while you’re doing this, go ahead and do it. But make sure it’s her idea.
NOTE: SHE GETS VETO POWER. If she stops you from doing something RESPECT HER.
After you’ve worked on her for 5 minutes (the timer is important) reverse things again.
Lay down and say, OK, now you get to do whatever you want to me for five minutes.
Ask her what she wants to do and let her TAKE CHARGE and be in control.
Your only job is to LAY there. Keep your damn hands at your side.
Only move if she tells you to move. She’s in charge and you’re there for her to do what she pleases to.
From experience I can tell you that if you’ve seeded the idea of blow jobs being a positive thing in her mind she may well take the initiative here.
If she does, CONGRATS! But stick to the 5 minute timer for now. The rules of these games are important.
A couple quick notes:
• If it doesn’t happen the first time CHILL OUT. Depending on how she feels about blow jobs it might take a while to get past the bad programming.
• If she DOES go there, remember it’s wonderful, but “no big deal.” It’s just something fun for the two of you to do together. It’s as much about her fun and enjoyment as it is yours.
Follow these steps and she WILL get more adventurous and powerful in bed in general and
WILL eventually want to give you head.
It might take a few times, but she WILL eventually do it. But again, remember, our goal here is to make it HER idea. It’s something SHE wants to do.
You can let her know you’d LIKE IT if she did that, but you should never beg and never insist or make her feel bad for not doing so.
Whining is never attractive (rule of life. Whiners and complainers and victims suck.)
And if you do ask her and she says no, just keep rolling. It’s no big deal. There will be other times.
Oh yeah…
By the way, even if she doesn’t give you a blow job, playing this game will do WONDERS for your sex life.
In fact, you’ll probably have some of the best sex of your relationship by doing this and will see a lot of bullshit in your relationship fall away.
Seriously. It’s awesome. And really easy to do.
Stick to the concepts I introduced in this section and she WILL give you a blow job.
Now in the next section I’ll teach you the right way to receive a blow job. Ready? Keep on trucking.
Step Two:
Making “giving head” her favorite new hobby OK, this is actually the really important part.
As you probably know, most women’s egos are fragile, fragile things.
And like we talked about before, most women have very little confidence in their ability to give “great head.”
So when she finally DOES start to go down on you it’s REALLY IMPORTANT that you follow these steps to make her feel GOOD about the experience and make it something she’ll want to do again in the future.
Odds are if she doesn’t “like” giving head now she probably won’t be “great” at it when she gets down there. AND THAT’S OK.
If you follow these steps she won’t just start ENJOYING giving you head, she’ll get a lot BETTER at it to.
(Heck, she might even start seeing it as a challenge to become GREAT at giving you head and making your toes curl.)
READ THIS PART CAREFULLY.
After all the hard work we did to get her to go down on you, the last thing we want to do is spook her off it or make it a traumatic event.
A lot of guys fuck this up, which is kind of like playing Metallica right after you finally got the baby to go to sleep. Just plain dumb.
What To Do (and What Not To Do) While She’s Giving You Head.
1. DO NOT grab the back of her head or shove your cock way back in her throat.
Yes, I know this one should be obvious, but it’s amazing to me how many guys try to turn their women into Linda Lovelace on day one.
Remember how you DIDN’T LIKE shoving your finger down your throat?
Yeah, well your cock is probably bigger than your finger.
Remember, we’re trying to make giving head a pleasurable and FUN and POWERFUL experience for her.
Especially the first few times, you’ve got to make sure she feels like she’s in charge and can start or stop the process whenever she wants.
At least at first I recommend you keep your hands out of the equation entirely.
Don’t touch her head. Don’t grab her. (Actually, grabbing her shoulder in a “that feels so good” way can be fine.)
Follow this steps carefully if you want to get a blowjob.
Down the line she might discover she likes it when you grab her head and when you treat her a little roughly, but for now you gotta keep things basic.
2. DO make EYE CONTACT with her.
Remember that whole “women don’t like fellatio because it’s degrading/dehumanizing?”
Yeah, we’re nipping that one in the bud.
While she’s giving you head LOOK AT HER. Look her right in the eye and smile with pleasure and appreciation.
By making eye contact you establish a real connection between you while she’s blowing you and make it much more something you’re SHARING than something she’s doing TO you.
If you’re in a love relationship, just look her right in the eye while she’s sucking your cock and say “God, I fucking love you.”
3. DO show her technique, give constructive criticism and help her get better at giving you pleasure
OK, once you finally get the blow job you’ve been dreaming of for who knows how long you might be afraid to criticize her technique at all.
But I’m going to tell you right now that just staying quiet or ONLY giving positive feedback is a bad idea.
Here’s why:
• Women are more observant than men and they can tell when we’re faking something.
• If you don’t tell her something doesn’t feel good, she might assume it DOES feel good and keep doing it.
Do you really want her to think you like it when she BITES DOWN on your cock when you really want the opposite?
So how do you “guide” your woman without her taking offense?
Simple, you do it with the time tested and proven “Criticism sandwich.”
Step 1: Compliment her on something she did that you really like. “Oh, baby, your tongue on my cock feels soooo good.”
Step 2: Gently push her away from whatever she’s doing “wrong” (wrong is subjective. It’s just something you don’t like as much as you like something else) and towards what you want
“OK, just loosen your lips a little bit and . . .”
Step 3: Give her HUGE positive reinforcement when she switches over to what you really want you to do. “OH, fuck, that feels soooo good. Thank you. You’re amazing.”
Get it?
Just as a quick example, a 6 years back before my marriage I was dating a girl who had this tendency to grip my cock like it was a snake she was trying to strangle.
I mean she grabbed it HARD.
Most likely she did this because and ex-boyfriend of hers really like it that way, but to me it was just too hard and too much. It made it really hard for me to enjoy what she was doing.
The wrong way to handle this situation would have been to say “Dear fucking god stop trying to crush my penis!!”
Instead I used the criticism sandwich.
While she was pumping my cock and licking the head I said . . .“Fuck, your tongue feels so good. Now just loosen up your hand a little bit.
A little bit more. I really like it when you hold it just lightly and . . . OH that feels so good.”
And from then on she knew that I liked a looser grip than that other guy (who’s cock must have been made of some kind of sponge material to survive the treatment.)
Got it? Good.
Now let’s talk a little bit about . . .
Technique…
It’s weird but a lot of women seem to think they should just be “born” being great at giving blow jobs.
Or they think that if they give one once and don’t enjoy the experience they should never do it again.
Above and beyond the “Criticism sandwich” I talked about above, you should also show your woman what you really like.
How? There are two basic ways . . .when it comes to getting the best head from a woman
Show her what you want.
This is really simple. If you’d rather she move her hands and mouth slower, just bring your hand down there, LIGHTLY touch her hand and guide her to the rhythm you really want.
(WARNING: DO NOT GRAB HER HEAD UNLESS YOU KNOW SHE’S COOL WITH THAT.)
Tell her what you want in a POSITIVE way.
Again, just use positive and praising language to guide her towards what you really want. “It would feel sooo good it you would get my cock really wet.”
“Oh, god, that feels great. Can you just hold me in your mouth for a second.”
As long as you do it with a smile and a positive intention you can pretty much ask her to do anything and she won’t take offense.
DO NOT Come In Her Mouth (Unless She Wants You To)
OK, I’m a guy and I know as well as you do that coming in a woman’s mouth is one of the greatest physical and mental pleasures we get.
But the idea of doing it really turns a lot of women off. (Some love it.
And those women are like angels sent here from heaven.)
If you want your woman to really ENJOY giving you head and be EAGER to do it, you need to take the “Coming in her mouth” thing off the table at first.
Heck, I’d even suggest that you tell her when you’re getting started that you don’t expect her to do that. Make it really clear.
Otherwise she’s going to spend the whole time she’s going down on you worried that you’re going to start spurting like old faithful.
If you REALLY want her to let you come in her mouth you’ve got to build up to it much the same way we built up to her giving you head in the first place.
With POSITIVE reinforcement, comments on how sexy and powerful she is and by reinforcing how she’s in control, she’ll eventually WANT you to come in her mouth because she’s loves you so much and gets off on your pleasure as much as you do.
Don’t fuck this one up, guys. If you “slip” and don’t warn her before you come once odds are you’ll have to do a LOT of work to get her to go down on you again. You’ve been warned.
I will stop here. I believe you really loved reading this article on how to get a girl to give you a blow job.
Now if you are still with me. I want you to watch this powerful video below. Trust me BOYS, you’ll just love it.
Hi,
My wife stopped oral sex after 30 years of being ok with it. She adopted profound religious values and now feels disgusted with it and barely accepts preliminary oral sex but no more all the way oral sex. I am devastated. Any advice?
I believe you should not force her at this time as she is fully endorsed with her religious beliefs at this time give her some time hopefully things will improve.